Simultaneously Weird & Normal

Recently made a new playlist based on the song/idea Alone With My Thoughts by Josh A. Rihanna’s Diamonds was recommended to me.

I’ve been getting free gifts out of nowhere recently. A free parfait when I went to treat myself to dessert. An extra slice of cake when I went to get one free slice. A free phone screen, though this last one was a marketing strategy. A free lesson kit for reasons I don’t know.

Were people being nice to me because I look nice? Because I am nice? Just because they want to?

I struggle with feelings of worthlessness and undeservedness all the time. What have I done to deserve what I have?

But maybe I’m just overthinking things. Am I always kind to people because they’ve done something for me? No, sometimes I just want to be kind. Sometimes I just want to make someone smile.

Shine like a diamond.

A diamond only shines when the light hits it. Perhaps we’re all diamonds and just need a bit of light to make us shine. And often, we don’t see our own shine.

"Yes. Easy. Why, question?"

"I dropped one."

"Hold screws better."

"How?"

"Use hand."

"My hand's busy with the wrench."

"Use second hand."

"My other hand's on the hull to keep me steady."

"Use third han--hmm. Get beetles. I make new screws."

"One Earth day is 86,400 seconds. One Earth year is 365.25 Earth days."

"Understand. I am here forty-six years."

"Forty-six years?! Earth years?!"

"I am here forty-six Earth years, yes."

He's been stuck in this system for longer than I've been alive...

"How...how long do Eridians live?"

"Average is six hundred eighty-nine years."

"Earth years??"

"Yes. Always Earth units. You are bad at math, so always Earth units."

It reminds me of reading the manga Bloody Monday way back when - the bad guys were always one or several steps ahead and things did not go well for the main characters. In Hail Mary, the main character is dealing with so many unknowns that I’m always expecting something to go wrong. Things keep going wrong…

I highly doubt it will be done well because so much detail will be lost in the language-learning part, but…maybe??? Hopefully?????? I’m not a fan of alien stories but this story is so entertaining and really makes me think about the science.

…I’m hungry.

I forgot how much my perfectionist tendencies flare up whenever I work on any creative/tangible project.

I’ve already restarted this donut three times… I keep miscounting and forgetting stitch numbers. Either my memory has deteriorated terribly when it comes to counting or I’m just easily distracted. No more guessing! Going back to my trustworthy method of marking and recording EVERY STITCH SLOWLY.

Good to know.

John Green’s Tuberculosis book was also a great listen, especially since the author read it. I like Niel deGrasse Tyson’s personality and humor, but outer space is still my less favorite science subjects so I couldn’t pay attention to his reading about astrophysics. I did perk up when he talked about chemistry lol.

What’s been happening?

Finally reading that book that I probably got when I was first suspected to be suffering from depression over ten years ago. Yeah…the depression has gotten to the point that I really need to work on it. Still iffy about chatting with a stranger though.

Finally practicing kickboxing! It’s been nice so far. Going to try to commit for a year and see how I do. Hopefully I can do at least two workouts a week.