Who Am I?

The more Jacob spoke, the more she started wondering just how serious this was. Honestly, why couldn’t things be easy for them just this once? If it had to do with someone while Adam was in Rogue, how the heck could she guess who it was? She didn’t know anyone who was a part of Rogue. When he moved closer to her she leaned further back into the couch, wincing, frightened. Mary didn’t know what to do and she started crying again. How could she be mentally stable enough for two more people again? She couldn’t even do it for a whole family. She can’t do it anymore. She can’t enable it. She can’t. At the mention of War she paled, knowing he was talking about one of the leaders. God, what kind of mess did her brothers get into? What if Joseph was worse? What if… She looked up at the sound of Adam’s voice and tried to wipe her tears away, but she knew she couldn’t do it without being obvious.

Seeing his sister in tears made Adam all the more sure that something had happened to him, but he couldn’t even begin to guess what, and her mentioning Jacob just confused him more. “Mary, wha-” he couldn’t even really get a word in though before she was suddenly hugging him so tight that he was afraid something might break. And then came an apology and something about a cryptic warning Jacob told her? How long was he out for exactly? Actually, screw it. It didn’t matter. Whatever it was had really scared Mary, and what he needed to worry about was making sure she was alright. He wrapped one arm around her and started running his fingers through her hair to comfort her. “It’s okay, we’ll be okay.”

Mary wasn’t liking this Jacob guy one bit. Part of her wanted to tell him to go away and leave her family alone. However, this person he was looking for must have been important to him. “I belong with my family.” Mary may have worked at PROTECT but her allegiance above all was with her brothers, the only family she has left. “Maybe your death made her slip up. That-that tends to happen when people experience a loss. They don’t act the same. I can find her. If only to make you go away. Maybe make you both move on. Together. If she hasn’t already.” Mary swallowed roughly knowing she was bordering on offending him and if he got angry, he could easily overpower her, knowing she wouldn’t be able to stop him. He knew that too, she was sure of it. He knew she was scared but that didn’t mean she was going to not put up a fight that didn’t mean she wasn’t going to be brave. That was her brother’s body for christ’s sake and she wasn’t going to let the memory of a dead guy ruin it.

Jacob just shook his head at everything Mary said about Christina. Adam’s sister didn’t know her like Jacob did. No one did. She was his soulmate, and not even death was going to keep him from seeing her again. Mary wasn’t wrong when she thought that Christina was the one thing that could possibly make him move on from this purgatory, but it might also be the one thing that truly brought him back. He wouldn’t know until it happened though, and for now his goal was just surviving until it did. “Who is she? I’ll give you three guesses. Actually here’s a hint: Have four guesses.” Jacob felt another shift start and had to lean against a nearby wall to keep upright. “You don’t believe me... perfect. Just perfect.” He didn’t have much time left, but he needed to make her see that this danger was real.

Mary was glad that was over and leaned back against the couch when Adam walked away, exhaling a deep sigh over how draining that was. It was a lot for today. They definitely needed to watch some bad TV. As she looked through the options, she called them out to Adam, wanting to know what he thought. “Oh my god, they’re giving a Here Comes Honey Boo Boo marathon, we have to see this.” She said loud enough for him to hear. Or so she thought. She had already put it on and settled into her seat when she realized Adam was taking too long. “Adam, come on, you’re missing it.” She turned when she saw who she believed to be Adam walk back toward the couch. She moved back when she saw it was a face she didn’t recognize. Okay, keep calm, Mary. Keep calm. “No,” she said with as much confidence as she could. “You can’t anymore because he’s my brother. Not you. You’re dead.”

The biggest shift to Jacob in this body was that he felt almost blind. He’d grown up with post-human enhanced vision. So normal eyesight was absolutely horrible. “Yeah, you don’t need to remind me of that. The bullet to the back of my head really sent that message home.” He could tell she was frightened, not surprising. She kept it together well though, points to her for that. And she put everything together quicker than he would have thought. “Help me find her? Your brother mentioned that once and you remembered that detail. You really do belong at Protect. Kind, caring, and a really shitty liar. Christina’s a top-tier Nexus agent. On top of that, she’s a shifter like your brothers. You wouldn’t be able to find her unless she wanted you to. No, the only way she’ll appear is to find me once she finds out I’m still alive. She’ll need to see if it’s really me or an imposter. Trying to explain I’m me in another body is going to be fun.”

Tom gave a curt nod and a hint of a smile. He was no stranger to rough weeks, and wasn’t about to fault someone for having some of their own. “It’s alright.” When Adam stood, Tom glanced up at him and minded his manners enough to hold in a laugh. “Do you have far to go? There’s a coffee shop right around the corner, too. If you’d like to get something warm there, I’m buying.”

“It’s at least a ten minute jog. Maybe the cold will help me keep up a good pa-” the offer of a free drink made Adam pause. “I cuss you out and you offer to buy me coffee? Man, you really do want me to feel bad about it.” He rubbed his arms to add some warmth and noticed he could see his breath. “Not gonna turn it down in this temperature though, so please lead the way. Quicker the better.”

Mary understood and accepted his apology. It was funny that she thought she was holding the worst secret when Adam’s was… the most frightening. However, he wasn’t going to leave and she wasn’t going to leave either. Both of them were here to stay. Together. Throughout all the moving, their family was all they had. Their one stabilizing point. Mary wished she could have helped her parents and beat herself up about it every time she thought about them, but they were gone and Adam was here. She would do all she could to help him and hope that was enough.

“No more secrets,” he agreed, taking his sister’s hand and lightly squeezing it again. Now that it was all past them, he felt relieved. Like things were actually completely okay now. Well they still needed to find Joseph of course, he’d never forget that, but he and Mary were solid now. His fear of his ability was probably at the lowest it had ever been knowing with absolute certainty that his family was there for him. He should have known that from the beginning, but as they both agreed, he was an idiot. “I’m gonna go make some popcorn, I think we both need some bad TV to wrap up this day.” Before heading to the kitchen, he gave Mary a quick kiss on the forehead.

At his embrace, it was only a moment’s hesitation before she hugged him back. Both to comfort him and to make sure he didn’t leave. She was terrified. Not of him, but for him. She still remembered when her parents started to lose touch with reality and this brought back those memories. The feelings of helplessness as the ones you loved just lost themselves until they couldn’t deal anymore. “It’s okay,” she spoke, giving a shaky exhale. She listened to his story, still trying to comfort her big brother. It was worrying that her brother doubled as a Nexus employee and it was incredibly scary that he had a dead man in his mind. “We’ll figure this out.” She was sure of that. “Together, okay?”

The longer he held Mary, the further and further the episode he just had seemed to become. Now that his mind had calmed down, he couldn’t help but wonder if he really had come as close as he thought to losing it, and if this was what happened to their parents before they finally lost it. You don’t wanna go there he remembered his mind telling him. Yeah... best not to explore that train of thought. He could only hope Joseph wasn’t experiencing this. “Together,” he replied as he hugged Mary tighter.

At the increasingly tightening grip, she grew worried, especially because it was bordering on painful. However, when he let go, she felt she would have rather had the former than the latter. “Adam,” she spoke softly, scooting closer, afraid she had made him upset, afraid he was going to go. She couldn’t really make out what he was saying, which worried her even more. When he admitted where he was working, she couldn’t believe it and got worried. Especially because she didn’t know this Jacob he mentioned. “Jacob?” For some reason, that was more of concern to her than Nexus. “Who’s Jacob?”

Somewhere in his head, Adam could hear Mary’s questions and her concern. But inside he could feel things unravelling. He hadn’t even begun to see how easily a previously broken mind could fall apart again. It wasn’t just him and Jacob in his head. There were others. Dozens, hundreds, maybe thousands of other minds in him. Some were just whispers, a flash of something he’d taken from a simple brush of the hand, but there were others that were much more complete. They all swirled and together, going down and down into the darkest recesses of his mind that was now opening and reaching for him, forcing him to take that one last step into- I can see a lot better than you can, pal. It felt like someone grabbed his flailing, fraying conscious and pulled it all back from the edge of unravelling. You don’t wanna go there. I know it’s hard, but... Please let me help. The end melted into Mary and her words, and Adam moved forward, wrapping his arms around his sister. “He’s me. Or... or I’m him or... I don’t know. I don’t know.”

Demetria smiled at the man gratefully and waited while he fiddled with his phone. She remained a safe distance away from him, as she did with everyone that wasn’t a Rogue. Not everyone could be trusted. She stifled a laugh as she watched him fiddle with the device, looking rather confused with it. She had a cell phone of her own, but she had regretfully left it back at Gavin’s manor when she had left in a hurry that morning. Demetria eyed the phone as he turned it towards her and shook her head lightly. “I do, but um,” She took in a deep breath and put a smile on her face. “Yes. I do. It’s the map application.” She gingerly took the phone in her hand, holding it with the tips of her fingers. She probably looked odd holding it this way, but she didn’t want to crush the man’s phone with her own strength. “Ah! Here it is! See, you simply tap this one.” She tried to speak clearly through her accent so that he would understand her, and hoped that she was saying things clearly.

She handled his phone very delicately, but it was just a detail Adam noticed, not something that he thought anything more of. His phone was on the cheaper end of the smartphone spectrum, but with how expensive some of them could be, made sense to him that she’d want to handle it with care. “Ah... it’s even called Maps. Should have guessed. Hopefully I’ll remember that for next time someone asks me directions.” He looked at the location she had typed in and looked at it a little confused. He’d assumed she was a tourist with her accent and paper map, but that didn’t look like a tourist spot. “What is that place by the way? Don’t think I’ve ever been there before.”

Adam had to keep himself from jumping at the unexpected tap. He was very careful about not touching people because of his ability, but he couldn’t prepare for everything. “Ummm... Maybe? Hold on a second.” Adam reached into his pocket and pulled out his smartphone. At least that’s what the salesperson had called it. Adam didn’t think he’d ever owned anything that made him feel less smart, but they didn’t seem to sell basic phones anymore, so he had to get this terrible creation. “I think this app does... no, wait. Maybe it’s this- no. No, that’s wrong too.” He should have taken Mary up on her offer of trying to teach him how to do more than call someone on this damn contraption. Feeling rather embarrassed, he turned the phone screen towards the girl. “By any chance, do you know how this damn thing works?”

After hearing how the people there weren’t post-human friendly, she didn’t like that he was working in that kind of environment. “What?” She leaned forward. In an attempt to lighten things, she suggested, “maybe you should get a new job.” She smiled and gave a soft chuckle at the end, although she knew that jobs were hard to get, especially for post-humans. “I can write up a pretty good resume.” Like she had many years before, she offered her hacking and electronic forgery skills that came with it. It wasn’t that hard to create a false employer or other false recommendations.

As soon as the wordPROTECT left her mouth, Adam felt his eyes shift to Jacob’s and anger boiled up in him. They’re the enemy! They took her! She’s in danger! his thoughts screamed and his mind flashed an image of Christina being held in a dark prison room, crying for help, then it was Mary imprisoned instead. Suddenly Adam inhaled and realized he was squeezing Mary’s hand in his. Immediately he let go and pushed the palms of his hands against his face, willing his eyes to shift back. Those thoughts, those memories. “Not mine... not mine... Jacob’s. It’s Jacob’s,” he said quietly.

Well, that was — unexpected. Tom glanced over at his benchmate, eyebrows raised some, and he shook his head. “I got my run in earlier, and I can assure you I wore pants for it. If I wore shorts, I’d be afraid of blinding someone. Pasty skin.” He offered a smile before tucking his phone in his pocket. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be rude. That’s no reason to be like that. It’s just…important to take care of yourself, mate. Running is good, but shorts in weather like this isn’t always a smart choice.”

Damn, the guy was polite. And now Adam felt like an ass. He waited a moment to catch his breath before beginning his own apology. “I’m sorry dude, didn’t mean to snap like that... Been a rough couple of weeks.” Now that he’d stopped moving, Adam was really starting to feel the cold. How had he not noticed that until now? He started hopping up and down to keep his blood flowing. “Fuck, and you might be right about the temperature.”

It wasn’t the first time they asked about work, but it was similar to ‘how has your day been’ or ‘how are you’; you give decent, not complete lies and then you move on to the next topic. Nothing that involved any deep discussions. So when he said he had a bad day, she frowned in concern. “You know, I don’t think I’ve had that bad of a day yet,” she offered a smile, but wanted to know what was bothering him. “Want to talk about it?” She asked, hoping he would take the invitation. The people Mary worked with weren’t so bad. Her supervisor maybe needed to learn some manners, but she could handle it.

“Let’s hope you never do.” He smiled back, but at her invitation to continue, it faltered a little. “Umm... just not sure exactly how to put it.” He spent all day surrounded by people who reveled in hunting down people like himself and his family. Worse, many were hunting their own kind with little to no remorse. And worst of all, he was living haunted by the memories and maybe more of a man who was one of them and some days the line between Jacob and Adam blurred to a degree that really frightened him. “I guess some days the environment of my workplace can be pretty toxic. Many of the people there aren’t exactly post-human friendly and aren’t afraid to show it.”

Mary was glad to be home and she quickly got into some more comfortable clothes before sitting on the couch to watch television. She had nothing else to do… and yeah, it wasn’t like Joseph wasn’t on her mind, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t make time to watch one of her favorite shows. She was pretty sure Joseph would do the same. Besides work was tiring enough. The episode was already ending when she heard the door open and shut before Adam called out to her. “I’m watching T.V,” she called back at him, before turning to the direction he would come out from.

Maybe work wasn’t the best topic to start off with. He knew Mary worked in... IT? Was that the right term? Hopefully, but really all he knew about her job was that it involved computers and he got lost immediately after that. And he was pretty sure she knew he got lost too because she never went into much detail about what she did. Knew it was a waste of breath. Another reason work as a conversation topic was bad was because how in the world could he tell her he worked at Nexus? The last time he thought he really told her anything about work was when he still was tending a bar. “Today was... bad. One of those days where you just kind of want to stab everyone who talks to you.”

His daily runs were some of the few moments of peace Adam felt these days aside from the time he spent with Mary. But after all this time without being able to find Joseph and the guilt that kept building about him keeping Jacob a secret from her took its toll over time. But even more than that, working at Nexus was... challenging for him. To say the least. Especially since Riley, the one person he felt he could trust in the whole building, was gone now. So when someone sitting on a bench made a comment about his choice of workout attire, Adam snapped at him. “Well if you decided to go on a run instead of sitting on your ass and playing with your phone, you might think it’s perfectly warm enough for shorts.”