Jackson Schuester

@miss-madeline-beiste

PM: Understood, Miss. 

@miss-madeline-beiste

PM: Understood, Miss. 

@jacksonxschuester

Text: I know, Sir. I guess I just feel like I’ve done a lot of talking about it all in the last few years. I’ve done a lot of looking back and analyzing the past, because I’ve been scared of looking into the future. But right now, for the first time in a long time, I feel like I might actually have a future, you know? I want to focus on that. That makes sense, I like talking about that stuff when I’m close to you too. I’m almost done in the library, so I’ll come over when I’m finished here? 

@jacksonxschuester

@miss-madeline-beiste

Okay, I can try to come up with a word. I have to be honest though, sometimes I’m not really conscious of what’s happening until it’s well beyond the point of no return. So even with a safeword in place, I can’t guarantee I’ll be self aware enough to use it. 

@miss-madeline-beiste

PM: Sort of? I mean, not necessarily in words, I guess. He’s sort of incredibly observant. He’s usually finding some way to distract me before I’ve even realized what’s happened. 

@miss-madeline-beiste

@miss-madeline-beiste

@miss-madeline-beiste

Jackson looked up from his sketchbook, "Hmm?" He asked, showing he was listening to Asher despite the pencil still moving along the page under the glow of the bedside lamp.

Jackson carefully moved to set his sketchbook aside on the night-table, because right now the moment demanded all of his attention. He turned to face Asher head on, meeting his eyes and taking in that bright, beautiful smile. He loved that he could make Asher smile like that. There was a part of him that would absolutely wear this man’s collar tomorrow, given the right circumstances. But Jackson knew that this sort of thing took time and planning, and not only that, but he knew he wouldn’t be able to dedicate himself wholly to a trial claim during the month of February. That month held too much emotional baggage for him. Despite that, he couldn’t help but feel this had come at the perfect time... Sure, he’d grieve the anniversaries the month held; the day his trial claim with Steven had started, the anniversary of their first kiss, the day he died, and the day of his burial. But this year, instead of looking into the future and seeing nothing but uncertainty and grief, he could look forward and realistically picture a life where he was happy. And it had been such a long time since Jackson was able to do that... as he stared at Asher, he saw a future he’d been keeping locked away from even his own mind. He saw that smile greeting him each morning as Jackson set a plate of freshly cooked breakfast down for him. For the first time he pictured a life beyond the age of thirty, and before he knew it he was pressed into Asher’s chest, hugging him tightly and experiencing a tidal wave of emotions hitting him all at once. 

Jackson looked up from his sketchbook, "Hmm?" He asked, showing he was listening to Asher despite the pencil still moving along the page under the glow of the bedside lamp.

Jackson knew Asher wouldn’t push him before he was ready, and it was probably the fact that he knew that without even having to second guess it that made him feel ready. “Definitely not tomorrow.” He agreed though, suddenly very aware of the date. “Actually... if it’s okay with you, Sir, I don’t want to apply until March at the earliest.” He said. “But we should definitely talk about it... Figure out a plan?”