All Hail the Pumpkin King

“Make that prize a pack of my favorite poptarts and you got yourself a deal,” she laughed, “Being nice to people wasn’t actually one of my new years resolutions. Pft, I can and will make fun of you all I want. ”

“Done deal. Still shocked ya remember my love for poptarts.” he chuckled. “Everyone makes fun of me. Pretty sure ya all had made a damn fan club after me now.”

I’ll take that as a compliment and it’s not so much your face it’s your personality that’s the real issue. 

My personality has gotten a lot better over the years. I simmer down a bit ya have to admit that. Anyways why am I talkin’ to ya bout this. It’s not like ya opinion  matters.

“Nah. I’m going to last at least a week this year before I give up on the resolutions thing. Just you wait and see, man,” she said with a raise of her eyebrow, “Ha, I’m not old, you’re old. Jack Jack the old man.”

“If ya do I will give ya a prize how does that sound?” he smirked. “Stop makin’ fun of me. It’s not nice ya know.”

Maybe they just don’t like you. You’re definitely not as pretty as Zoe.

Still the bitch I love too hate. I’m a good lookin’ guy ya just too blind to see it an so are they.

Well your boys are a bit younger than mine Jack, infants don’t do much except scream and shit. You get used to it.

Anya....they’re a year old. They should be out of the screaming an shit stage already! They like Zooey more...they never bitch when she takes care of them.

You’re fine, Jack. I was a shitty sister for not even taking the time to come home and care. 

I think I should convince her to reclaim you either way. You’re her son, we deserve to start getting our family back to normal. Woah wait hold up! Zoey does not know about us? About our heritage? You have children with this woman! She should know! *looks down at the babies* Oh, Jack they are beautiful. They look just like you. You must be so proud!

Technically yes I do, but one of my boys has caught a bit of a cold and I needed a break from screaming child.

For the first time ever. Ya and I have somethin’ in common. MY boys aren’t sick but they don’t know how  to stop screamin’ those damn heads off.

Do I need a reason to be mean to you Jack? I thought I had a free pass and all or maybe it’s just a no questions asked favor.

I guess ya don’t but still. *grunts* Anyways what are ya doing out here anyways? Don’t cha have shit to do?

Do they have middle names? 

Bro, you know the monarchy more than anyone. They love all that old time shit. They love all sorts of ridiculous shit. And Xan… *sighs* Xander is quiet, Jack. He wouldn’t last a day in mum’s shoes. Maybe she will last long enough for Zack or Joey to take over. Or maybe we should just completely disband the monarchy *giggles*  Could you even imagine? 

Well Zacks middle name is Allen and Joey’s middle is Adrian. I never told you? Damn I’m shitty brother.

Keep reading

Zack and Joey. Those are beautiful names. Very suiting for you two. I’d love to meet them now though, even if they are little hellions. Although I highly doubt they are as bad as you say. 

Yeah, they are. Mum was trying to convince me to move home. Parliament held a meeting telling me I should marry that asshole from Denmark or Belgium and have gross little royal babies since I’m “of age” now and Phi- Uh. Father is gone and god it’s just so dumb. All the stupid stuff I came here to get away from. 

They are nicknames actually for Zakarus and Jonathan. But it’s easier to call the those names. Spin off of mine an Zoe’s name. *chuckles* No they are god awful ya will see shortly.

You never know. With you here I half expected to come back to the burned down remnants of a town. 

But calm down, I had to deal with some stuff back home. No! I haven’t seen the little munchkins! I would love to meet them as soon as possible though. 

Nah, since Zack and Joey were born I sort of turned my life around. It’s a real shocker I know.

Talking to yourself? I always knew you weren’t right in the head.

What ya mean always knew? I know I aint right in the mind. *rolls eyes* What do ya want Anya?