one long rant.

i haven't used this shit since 2011. rehydrating to help stop the brain leakage. life update: still gay. parenting an agent of chaos. exhaustion runs deep in my bones. i reject reality; i live in oz now.

i don't know what this will devolve into, but the internet will now memorialize it for however long tumblr hangs in there. you're welcome. i wonder which mental illness is responsible for the continued posting knowing no one is reading this.

they know a lot of words for a lot of things and are also very much still a kid (rude as they may be) and i appreciate that. also, i strive for this level of childlike wonder/delusion.

musings in the kid's hw journal. "the memories of long ago were coming back to me." maybe i'll print all these posts out and make a book. child of mine who talks like this all the time, you are the strangest person i know. thanks for that.

national strike tomorrow. see everyone out or in the detention centers. whichever comes first.

if you don’t want to be outside, that works for the strike. do nothing. sit on this app. don’t shop, don’t go to work (if you can swing it financially), and don’t go to school.

my chaos demon is flyering at their school and organizing a walkout tomorrow morning with their organizing friend. please remember, you don’t have to be besties with everyone you organize with, you just have to trust that they’ll show up.

this child said they’re channeling elphaba before “no good deed” and glinda when she sent the wizard tf out of oz and puts morrible in a cage. so should you.

me: “hi, i think my kid might have migraines. i have a family history of migraines, i had migraines as a kid, i was the carrying parent, and they had this seemingly textbook pediatric abdominal migraine episode the other day. no one else in their our household is sick.”

person who spent like 20 years in school: wE’Ve bEen SEeINg StrEp a LOt iN THe LasT fEw DaYs, MUsT be StreP 🤪”

me: “ okay… wait, what? does strep typically present with no fever, no sore throat, very severe headache and nausea that cycled out in 3 hours and was completely gone?”

🤡: “ThiNgs PrEseNt dIffERentLy In KIdS. wE’Ll TeSt thEM.”

spoiler alert: they don’t have god damn strep. we will wait and see if they have any other episodes but like, why be useless and fucking goofy when you can just listen to what ppl are saying and base your diagnoses off of that?

we don’t know anything we didn’t already know before the appt., the only thing i gained was a headache, and we paid $50 for the privilege. fuuuuuck this place fr.

we saw for good weeks ago. this evening, my kid and i were watching the alice brooks interview with variety and she was talking about lighting the “for good” scene to see their tears and this kid sits straight up like all the lights just turned on at once, “but wait, glinda saw elphie cry at the ozdust. she would know she doesn’t melt… they shared a room.” and before i could offer any explanation, “did she think elphie wanted to die?” so i asked why she might think that and they said “for oz! and the Animals! bc the Animals were leaving bc they were being killed **bookverse reference— the killing not the leaving** bc they thrust wicked upon them, so she could switch and be wicked for them.”

and honestly, i would enjoy these hyperfixation-induced epiphanies we share so much more if i didn’t watch their heart break in real time. watching them pull apart this scene and come to the conclusion that glinda thought elphaba died bc galinda trusted her lying eyes, but most of all elphaba and believed in her commitment to the resistance movement she was supposed to be apart of was heartbreaking and enraging.

i have no words. this is worse than burying your gays. this is burying them in hetero nonsense and saying fuck you to the lesbian. i starting to calm down after seeing this movie but i’m mad all over again. and we knew glinda wouldn’t know. we knew elphaba would pretend to melt. we’ve read the first two books together (pretty heavily censored) and read the libretto (bc we couldn’t afford tix to the show when it was here), but i really thought they were going to update this shit so we didn’t leave with her walking into that desert themed void with a hay-filled monstrosity.

now my kid has queer characters they love who absolutely ruin each other in favor of, first, privilege/comfort and, then, being straight. and there’s a movie for each. thanks, universal 🖕🏾🖕🏾