pillows🖍

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ㅡ (🍡)  m᮫ 𝒂𝐝. 𝗲  by  PILLOWS || don't-steal&copy⺀⠀‼ ⠀ ♡ﾞcredits to  owners of resources used !!%!?? ^_^

TW: MURDER He didn’t do it. He didn’t do it.

ㅡ 🤩_* ~ you like me. ˖ [don't u?

SPITEFUL ♤ PSH,PJ,NK !?##?? ^_^ FiNGER LiCK!NG EV.L TO THE B0NE ^&*

♡̴‧₊˚ 🥯🥛 KIM SUNOO : ♡ᵎ 🦷 :📠 ‎✿˚ ༘

BEST BOY !

         ▬▬ ⬇︎ YANG JUNGWON, KIM SUNOO

     ⬇︎ and PARK SUNGHOON weeb moodboard

genre: angst??

Characters: lee heeseung & gender!neutral oc

wc: 2k

synopsis: lee he-san, your best friend (who apparently is your crush) dies in a car accident. then one day, you see him across the street, is that him? Blinded by euphoria, you live the next few months happily. But then a secret lies between his identity, is this really lee he-san, the person you once knew or is it..

His twin brother, Lee Heeseung? 

others: mention of death, everything is fictional-remember that juseyo <3, extremely rushed ngl i had no idea what i was typing but ok-

i survived five whole years without him.

am i proud of that? no. of course not. can you even imagine walking inside your school greeted by looks of pity? and when you sit down everywhere you look something just feels missing? you would think to yourself, he would probably be here eating, he’s most likely to be here around this time. he would be here WITH ME laughing and having the times of our lives in this place. what hurts the most is when you look beside you and you see an empty chair filled with withering flowers and his picture. 

his picture YOU took.

five years? Without him, it felt like five decades. You would look into the mirror and see yourself aging, not only mentally but physically. the dark pits under you eyes would become more visible and the color of your skin fading oh ever so slowly. finding yourself five minutes outside your house and you already feel like your dying of the cold. you were lifeless. 

but then here he is, right in front of you. Clueless as ever, wearing the black leather jacket you gave him for his birthday. 

“h-he-san?” you managed a whisper despite your crippling mental state.

his brows furrowed and his eyes squinted, a look of worry spreading across his face. is this girl ok? his eyes said. and the answer to that? yes, you were walking on Cloud 9, you wouldn’t care for the world if you were to die right now at this moment as long as you saw him again. and he is here, again. 

is this a dream? Is this guy seriously he-san? reaching your hand forward (you knew it was creepy, but euphoria made you blind to anything at the moment) tears gathered on your eyes. Creeped out to the bone, the guy halted and grabbed your wrist - making you feel as delighted as ever. he is real! and his tight grip didn't even stop you from hugging him oh so tight he might even die right after he just showed up to you, not dead. 

Then the most surprising thing came out of his mouth,

“Hey, y/n” 

you froze on the spot not knowing what to say or do. Your best friends death ruined your entire life to the core. Yet seeing him here, saying your name made everything feel all cupcakes and rainbows. He’s alive, he remembers you, he remembers your name. Everything. The color on your face seemed to pop out of nowhere and you hugged him even tighter earning a laugh from him as his long arms hugged you back.

“I-im so glad you’re alive”

“Me too?” 

Chuckling, you two never seemed to let go. 

Months passed by and as expected he astonished everyone at his sudden reappearance, but not everything goes right in life, does it? He knew you loved watching any kind of drama and right after you saw him a list suddenly formed inside your mind. 

if the person, now reincarnated but reported to be dead, comes back to you drama cliches: 

First, either doesn’t remember you, or anything at all.

That’s crossed out from the list since he really remembers me, and... anything else.

Second, came back a complete psychopath or simply wasn’t dead the whole time.

I’ll cross this one out since he died right in front of me and they displayed his actual body in front of us at his funeral. Lastly,

Third, has an unusual vibe and doesn’t act like the person you once knew. 

What scares me is that, i can’t cross this one out.

“Honey?” your mom’s voice cut you off your thoughts.

You looked back, and let out a simple ‘hmm?’ 

“What are you doing with your book?” she called out, i checked my book out and noticed ink spread throughout the page as my hand turned pale gripping onto the pen. 

I looked back to my mom, and gave a small smile as i turned the page, “studying” 

Chuckling, she walked forward, going to me and lay on my bed behind me. It was silent for a few minutes while I focused on my homework. Obviously not being able to, I mentally groaned and slammed my book shut and looked at my mom. “Yes?-”

“Should i call He-san to study with you-”

“-NO” I snapped. My hand immediately separated from my body and my fingers spread showing a ‘stop’ sign. Wearing a fake smile, my mom reached her hand forward and intertwined both our fingers. 

“I will” then she shook her hand along with mine. She let go of my hand and walked to the door, at the same time I twisted back facing my desk again, flustered. I waited for the door to click, but it never came. Glancing back, I see my mom staring at me again.

“What is it this time-”

“Have this” then she threw a square shaped object, and me being the clumsy, sleepy as hell demon I am, I didn’t get to catch it as it fell in front of me. I gawked at my mom and she smiled again and waved her fingers, closing the door shut.

“What’s this” whispering to myself as I lowered my body to reach the object. As I did, I flipped it over and it showed a picture of 2 guys and a girl. The two boys made a heart as the girl stood in the middle cupping her face. Twins were what the boys were, identical twins. Scanning the picture one last time, I spot a name on the bottom left. 

Lee Heeseung.

Lee Heeseung?

Lee Heeseung.

Lee Heeseung.

Lee Heeseung.

Lee Heeseung.

He-san’s twin brother. The simple picture cured all your suspicions. He had a tattoo on his right hand, but He-san had a tattoo on his left. He-san’s allergic to shrimp, but the He-san who showed up happily hogged all the tempura when he visited your home.

Third, has an unusual vibe and doesn’t act like the person you once knew.

the weirdest one was when he told me...he loved me. 

The He-san who showed up isn’t He-san. 

It’s Lee Heeseung, his twin brother.

the door suddenly opened, with Heeseung entering the room. With him, my mother's head peeked from the door and an apologetic look spread across her face. you had to know she said as we made eye contact. I gave a nod of my head and a weak smile, she smiled back and closed the door. Click.

“So what do you want to do?-”

“heeseung”

Silence conquered the entire room, shifting my sight to the frozen boy infront of me my eyes heated up. “Heeseung, right?” I said.

No reply came from the boy. 

“So, you are heeseung.” nothing seemed to process in my mind as the boy simply avoided my eye contact. Nothing filled my mind except.

“Why?, why would you do that?” I weakly asked. “W-why would you act like he-san and give me such high hopes?!” standing up, rage coursed through my veins. 

“Have you ever even thought, what would i feel if i found out? Did you ever wonder on how soon we’ll be able to find out? Heeseung I’m your friend, i’m basically your family-”

“I know, and that’s what hurts the most.” “that you’re only just a friend with me, but when you’re with He-San… You treat him as he’s in love with you. And you with him.” he whole-heartedly admitted. His head was hung-low and regret laced through his voice.

“How bout you? Did you ever consider how i felt?” he snapped.

“What do you mean?-”

“I disappeared, right? You knew I suddenly disappeared out of nowhere, but what did you do? You went to He-san and confessed your feelings right after the news came out

And that one time He-san literally got lost IN A CLUB, and what did you do? You literally dragged me out of MY REUNION with my friends just to find him” 

His head shot up and his eyes swelled with tears “and you know that wasn’t all, so tell me. Did YOU ever think on how I felt with all that favoritism?” 

“I-i just wanted to feel important to you, and I didn’t know what to do. YOU are important to me, same with He-san. But I just didn’t feel the same with you, I didn’t feel any importance on myself whenever I see you treating He-San that way. So, As the mentally broken person I am, I became He-san knowing the consequences” 

No words came out of my mouth as I had yet to process everything he said. I didn’t know what to feel, shame? Guilt? Anger? Or sadness? If only I could just die right then and there I would, my mind was a mess and this whole conversation was a mess. Nothing seemed to sit right anymore. You would think on who really was at fault..is it me? Or is it him?

“But then again, here we are having this conversation. Everything seems to be moving so fast right? It’s been MONTHS. And throughout those months, I felt...important.

To you,” 

Complete silence, none of us spoke a word. Shivering silence I would say. None of us made eye contact, and we made not a single sound but it wasn’t awkward, it was scary. You could feel the rage and anger radiating through the silence. So I did the most logical thing to do,

 Run. just simply get out of the room, house actually. And run. To where?

He-san’s grave. 

I dropped on my knees and my lips tremble tremendously. Taking quick breaths I looked up trying to contain my tears. Looking back down,  it met me with his name engraved on his headstone.

Lee He-san 2001-2021

A salty taste travelled to my lips and i wiped it immediately. My eyes got puffy and my eyesight blurred. My head throbbed loudly and all I could do was drop as my arms supported my entire body. 

“Y/N!” a voice called behind me.

“Y/N!” Heeseung’s voice called me. It was unclear since the noise of the cars honking and my crying blocked my hearing. He also seemed to be far away.

And I didn’t even dare to look back.

“Y/N!” the voice grew louder and i wiped my tears. Looking back, I see Heeseung on the other side of the road. He had a small smile, and he was waving his hand. Guilt corrupted my mind as I stood up and walked to the sidewalk and screamed 

“Go away, I-I don’t deserve to be your friend.” 

He didn’t reply. The pedestrian light turned green, and he walked towards me. The pedestrian was long, and I simply took the chance and ran away again. “Y/N!” His footsteps were loud as he ran going towards me. 

As I reached the middle of the road, a hand grabbed my shoulder and pulled me to turn to the other side. “y/n, listen to me” 

“I-im sorry,” i cut him off “i didn’t know that’s what you felt, I’m such a bad friend, and I was so clueless. I was probably so blinded by-”

“y/n, listen to me. I-it’s fine. I don’t care. As long as we’re together like this and the misunderstanding is clear, everything’s going to be fine. He-san wouldn’t want us to be living like this. I’m sure he would want us to be happy, I-i’m sorry too. I know that was very selfish of me to do that…”

Tears seemed to gather on the bottom of my eyes again, and Heeseung pulled me into his chest and his arms wrapped around my upper body. I hugged him back, breaking the hug right after. “L-let’s just go back to He-san ok?” 

I took a couple of breaths and nodded my head. We were going to walk to the side-walk until a stranger’s voice screamed “KIDS WATCH OUT” 

We both looked forward, and they met us with a truck's front as its honks ringed in my mind. We stood there frozen, and I felt a push from my side and I moved away and my body thumped to the other side of the road. My eyesight was blurry and a huge CRASH was what I heard, and before i knew it my eyesight went blank. 

"y-y/n??" "y/n? y/-"

my eyes shot open and I shot up from the bed. Looking around all i saw was white. rubbing my eyes, doctors, wheelchairs and nurses surrounded me. I looked to where the voice came from and was greeted by my mother. My lips felt dry and I was still wearing my outfit from earlier...earlier...

the truck..heeseung-

genre:: angst??

characters: yang jungwon & gender-neutral!oc

wc: 1.1k

synopsis: yang jungwon, a celebrity because of his band. Known as the leader and the one with the strongest mindset. After their band takes a break out of nowhere, Jungwon, hides a sickness no one else knows. Except for his best friend. Thus, the sickness keeps on getting worse, but is it because it’s a side effect? Or is it because of his best friend?

others: all characters are 18+, drinking, censored cursing, inspired by “the mermaid prince: the beginning” starring moonbin(from astro my bae), chae wonbin and hwi young (yes promoting wbk) 

"WHAT THE FVCK? YOUR SAYING IT'S MY GODDAMN FAULT YOU'RE LIKE THIS?" I complained as I looked directly into the eyes of my friend. He came home right after drinking with his friends. 

“Y-YES! *hiccup* Y-YOU N-NEVER EVEN T-TAKE C-CARE OF ME A-ANYMORE” he replied as he pointed at me and to the pile of homework i had on my desk. 

“MY FAULT? YOU’RE SAYING IT’S MY FAULT?” I asked in disbelief. His head stayed down and his hiccups continuously went. 

“WHY WOULD I TAKE CARE OF YOU? YOU HAVE A WHOLE BAND” i snapped. 

“y-yes but I've known you longer” then tears poured out of his eyes, his hands travelled to his face and he aggressively rubbed it showing great despair. 

taken aback, i sighed and rubbed my forehead, Slowly walking to the broken boy in front of me.

“Jungwon, none of this drinking is doing you right. Your grandma, she called me. She told me she’s worried about you” i softly said while rubbing his back. it was 12am and jungwon’s been very distant to everyone. no one knows about what’s happening to him, not even me. 

“just tell me, what the hell-”

“i have a heart problem” 

my mind went blank and my entire body froze. was that the reason his band took a break? and he’s drinking? how about his expenses? why hasn’t he told anyone yet-

“i know, i’m not supposed to be doing anything im doing now.” he followed saying as if he read my mind. 

“i know im not supposed to be drinking-”

“then why are you doing it” anger- oozing out of my tone, i couldn’t handle seeing jungwon so miserable and helpless. he KNEW what he was doing was wrong so why would he keep doing it - all he was doing was making it worse and making other people feel worse. 

“did you even know that your grandma was worrying about you? did you even know I and your band is worried about you!?” 

“its been getting worse ok” he whispered.

“what-”

“-ITS BEEN GETTING WORSE” he screamed and his eyes met mine. his eyes were red and he held each of my shoulders with both of his hands and pulled me in a hug.

On instinct, my hands lifted and hugged him back. His soft voice spoke “i-i don’t wan’t t-to die” 

my heart broke hearing jungwon this weak. As his team’s leader, he’s always been the strong one but of course, he hid all his flaws well. Enduring everything, all the hate and criticism, with a smile. One of the biggest, sweetest smiles in this world, yet it was all fake. It broke him. But no one saw through it, except me and his family. Now, he has a heart problem. 

“J-jungwon, y-you won’t die..” 

“My heart beats too fast, it’s so hard for me to handle already” he choked on his own tears, cutting him off. “my doctor says it’s a side effect, but it’s just too much” he let go of me ending the hug and his face ended up inches away from mine. 

His features were still beautiful even up close, the stains on his face were visible and my hand wiped it all away. But to my surprise, his hand travelled to mine and he caressed it. I looked up and our eyes met.

“ do you hear that? It’s happening right now” then he got my hand from his face and put it on top of his chest. His heart was palpitating and his sweat fell down from his face. 

“I’m not stupid but, it only happens when I’m with you” he softly said and his legs gave up on him and he kneeled down the floor. 

“Jungwon-”

“So please stop being like this, i-i hate it, so much.” he said out loud.

“It hurts so much, and i don’t even know why-”

The bold remark he made genuinely surprised me. From what i know jungwon’s inexperienced for love and now he has a heart problem. I kneeled down with him and lifted his face with my fingers, “is this how you’re going to ask me out? Through your sickness?” 

“What? N-no, i-im not asking you out…” 

I let go of my hand from his face and crossed my arms. “Really? Well, you said your heart beats too fast when it’s with me and with me only?” 

“I-it’s the side effect” he stuttered. 

I scoffed to myself, and smiled. This is awkward.

To be honest, i liked him too. Alot. I wouldn’t say it’s ever since we were kids since that’s too cliché, i would say after i saw his first ever performance with his band. I thought to myself on how he deserves the universe. Though the world didn’t decide to do that.

“Well, let’s test that out.”

“Wha-” 

My hands cupped his face and I leaned in for a kiss. It was short but meaningful, I opened my eyes for a second and his eyes were what i met - closed. I mentally celebrated and closed my eyes again. Out of nowhere, his hands slowly cupped mine at the same time. 

I slowly let go and I looked down, sh!t. I was too ashamed and scared to meet his eyes and my face heated. I stood up from my previous position, fixed my things and fast-walked going outside.

“WAIT-” 

Why the hell would I do that? I just confessed, indirectly and i’m doomed for life. If this simple kiss ruins everything then, it’s gone. Everything. It’ll be awkward between us and we’ll probably ignore each other for the rest of our lives. 

NO.

I should go back and talk to him right? Knowing him, he would probably chase me, but it’s so cold outside. He’ll get sick- 

“y/n!” Jungwon’s voice echoed in my head. 

Gosh, now I’m even dreaming of him? What kind of thoughts-

“Y/N” a breathy voice called me from behind, jungwon. I was right- 

I didn’t know how to face him now, everything was too embarrassing. I just kissed him and i walk out of his house. What kind of friend am i? 

“L-let me walk you home” white smoke escaped from his blood-red lips that i just kiss-

“YEA SURE-” i cut myself off. Facing forward, i walked going to the sidewalk. Now is definitely the wrong time to think that way Y/N, you unholy rascal. 

As expected, it was one of the most awkward moments i ever had with him. We both walked forward in silence. There’s only one thing in my mind right now, to reach the pedestrian and run. The weather’s too cold and he definitely won’t chase after me. I mean, he doesn’t like me and it’s just the-

“It’s just the side effect” he said out loud, stopping me in my tracks. My mind went blank and my heart dropped. Then that means he doesn’t like me. Then why did he kiss me back? Did he just use that for his own leisure?

genre :: angst??

characters :: park jay x gender-neutral 

                       park sunghoon (minor part)

wc :: 1564

summary :: a typical hero villain story. 

warnings :: mention of blood(anything related to that), fighting, wounds, guns,

others :: inspired by those tiktok povs where the hero gives in bla bla :)

“just kill me already” i said out loud as i lay on the wet hard street weak and giving up,  as multiple raindrops hit my skin leaving my eyesight blurry. my head was banging, too much. the multiple hits he made on my stomach, the times he shot me on my torso leading blood to flow from the wound, made it even harder for me to conceal the pain. 

so i just simply gave up.

“what?” he stopped as his bat hung mid-air ready to strike me. 

“I SAID KILL ME ALREADY” i screamed with all my might, exhausted. all of the pressure made too much impact on my mindset and nothing seemed to make me stand tall anymore. not even the thought of saving all the people in seoul seemed to keep me going. 

nothing was heard of him as the silent raindrops made everything else calming, making it easier for me to just die peacefully. a thud was heard on my side, i was met with a crawling, drenched in rain jay. 

the villain of this story.

“n-no, you can’t just g-give up like this...” he managed a whisper. 

“yes, yes i fvcking could.” i deadpanned. choking on my own tears, i continued 

“i mean, don’t you want that? i’m finally dead and you can destroy this whole city- probably even the whole country if you want. your whole family would be proud of you and YOU could get all the money you want in the world-”

“NO. SHUT THE HELL UP.” 

jay. 

jay and i went through a lot of battles together. we’ve been through all sorts of circumstances where it was always, always, me winning. as funny as it may sound, we even had one time where we fought in the sewers - it was an incredible memory since i found out jay’s weaknesses were scary ghost sounds and i had to escort him out since he was shaking too much, too frightened to even move. 

does it sound weird if i say i probably spent more time with jay than with my own family my whole life? his great-grandpa started their tradition of wanting to destroy Seoul and my great-grandma was always the hero. for all the past years, it was always my family that ended up winning.

but jay’s family didn’t even lose a hint of hope.

which lead to me and jay becoming the enemies.

but it was different this time. every time jay suddenly showed up in the most unexpected circumstances - adrenaline seemed to pump in my veins whenever a fight was going to happen between me and him. it was always the same thing, i escort everyone out as fast as i can and he tries to just simply destroy the exits.

probably hold hostages but,

he was too kind for that. 

jay was different from his ‘ancestors’. he had a lot more mercy and he didn’t actually hurt people. the only person he aims to hurt is..well, me. it was always a fun competition between us. 

we fought in a restaurant? we end up having a food fight. we fight in a playground? we even play tag sometimes, but..more dangerous. in a school? we do the students a favor and destroy their test papers. 

it wasn’t even a decent hero-villain cliché anymore, it was more like..a fun game between a “so-called-hero” and a “so-called-villain”.

that is until, my grandma decided to change everything about that history me and jay went through. using the ‘family tradition’ as an excuse for me to do my job seriously. “if people find out you’ve been acting this way, would you think the people of Seoul would be PROUD of you?”

and that simple sentence ruined every memory i had with him. 

i started to actually take the job seriously and jay seemed to notice that too. the fights actually end up to one of us bleeding and there was no such thing as ‘fun’ in our ‘fights’ anymore. 

until today, the day i finally couldn’t take anything anymore. the absolute pressure of the expectations not only my grandma but the whole Seoul had of me, the wounds and sleepless nights i had to go through to keep ‘my people’ safe - safe from..my best friend. 

“YOU CAN’T GIVE UP ON ME LIKE THIS Y/N...” he screamed back as his bloody hands combed his damp hair back, revealing his red eyes. 

“I-I’M INCOMPLETE...w-without...you..” he finished as ‘diamonds’ seemed to gather on his eyes. realizing, i softly scoffed and said something - merely above a whisper.

“you’re crying? what kind of villain cries so easily for their enemy-”

“i do. i’m that kind of villain..WHY? you have a problem with that?-”

i cut him off, “woah,woah there little guy, getting so worked up?” i questioned, quite taken aback by the sudden emotion. 

“of course! you just decide to give up - not only on the whole seoul but your own life? you THINK i would allow that?” he snapped. 

“i mean yeah, after all these years of fighting and trying, you’re family finally won. YOU finally won.” i smiled to myself imagining the happy smiles jay’s family would paint onto their faces knowing one person in my family was defeated. 

but jay didn’t budge a single muscle. 

as the rain poured, we were both left alone there frozen. my eyes started to close by itself as my body gave in to the blinding light i saw in the sky. i was finally in peace. my hand travelled to jay’s trembling ones as i softly caressed them. whispering a ‘congratulations’ loud enough for him to hear.

“no, i’m not letting you go like this.” swatting my hand of his, he stood up and walked going somewhere. as he came back i heard a click, a gun. he grabbed my hand and my hand molded as he purposely made my fingers go through the trigger. bringing my hand along with the gun he pointed it somewhere. opening my eyes, i fought back jay’s tight grip as i was completely surprised to where he pointed it at.

“now’s your chance y/n, i’m giving in.” he softly said, as he tightly gripped the gun, now pointing to his blood-stained forehead. 

“jay- no, let me die please. JUST LET ME DIE” shouting with all my might, fighting back trying to pull my fragile arm away from the gun. 

but he was just too strong. 

“jay, please. you deserve to live...you have such a h-happy family while mine...mine’s just full of people with high expectations, i-i can’t live like this anymore..” i weakly said, looking dead straight into his eyes. “y-you’re a nice guy ok? you’re stronger than me, and i-im not worthy to be your opponent.” i cried out as i completely let go of my body now, as i stayed there kneeling in front of jay - a broken mess.

if you thought nothing worse could happen, 

then you’re wrong. 

police sirens started to come louder and louder as we saw a group of cars on the other end of the road. 

“y/n NOW.” he desperately said. “let me have my last moments with you...” he continued. using his other hand, a soft object seemed to land on my wet face. i looked forward and saw jay’s hands caressing my face. he opened his mouth saying

“i don’t know if it’s that noticeable but...i like you y/n..i love you actually” he managed a laugh as he wiped the tears on my face at the same time. “i love you too much i would die for you..

you’re the only reason i’m jay right now.” 

the cars were half-way to us, as i heard my brother park sunghoon’s voice on the mega-phone. 

“i don’t even know how to explain it, you made me feel like i’m worth something. and i’m so satisfied with it. but you? i don’t know if i made you feel loved..because all we do is fight. and...i hated that.” tears started to fall from his face and my eyes widened. 

“i don’t know what happened to you but, i hope...you like me too.” he managed to say.

‘WE NEED BACK-UP! BACK-UP” sunghoon’s voice boomed through the mega-phones signaling that they were almost near. 

“i-i do...i love..you”

“great.” he replied and out of nowhere the hand that was caressing my face travelled to the nape of my neck and pulled me in for a kiss. my first kiss with the villain of this story under the rain..who would’ve known? i closed my eyes, feeling every single second. i kissed him back.

we both stayed like that for a few seconds until, jay pulled away from the short kiss.

the police cars came, and all the officers ran out of their cars. 

“goodbye jay” i whispered into his ear and i twisted the gun onto my forehead pulling the trigger.

“Y/N!” were the last things i heard as my eyesight when black.

as your body thumped on the road, Jay threw the gun away and crawled to your figure. “NO, NO, NO. Y/N- Y/N” his hands travelled to your frozen body as he desperately shook you. blood was everywhere and from then on we all already knew..

you were dead

“Y/N” he screamed on last time and cried on you dead body. “sh!t...” he cursed. a hand travelled to his back, park sunghoon. “Y-Y/N?” he weakly said. tears came out from your brother’s eyes as the two men, 

no..

genre :: angst?? fluff??

characters :: park sunghoon / gender-neutral

wc :: 1,225

summary :: entering a small cafe, you and your study buddy park sunghoon, made very unique and incredible memories. every smile and laugh and the way you both cringed at the different pick up lines you read for each other. who knew it would end this way?  

“hey !! I’m over here !!” a voice called while I was busy standing doing nothing with a cup of coffee in my hand. 

“sunghoon !!” I called out, running to the person I'm always with every after school. park sunghoon. I mean, by his name you would already know he’s some popular guy that everyone likes. Well, if that is what you thought then, yes. 

He is a popular guy, He’s a talented guy. He’s the smart guy. He’s the family guy. he’s the handsome guy. he’s everything. 

somehow luck decided to side with me since he’s somehow my brother’s best friend who became my best friend too. fate? yea, no. 

I don’t like him that way.

I scurried going to him as he stayed in his previous position keeping his gaze on me. as I arrived at where he was he gave me a simple smile and pointed to the door of the coffee shop gesturing for both of us to go inside. I nodded in response and we both entered.

as we entered, an ahjumma came in front of us and smiled. 

“Are you two going to study?” she asked us. we both looked at each other, back to the ahjumma, and nodded our heads.  

she smiled mischievously and lead the both of us to the end of the cafè, as we followed her, we both ended up in a small room with a table for two.  

"here you go, you can study here so there could be no distractions" she grinned at us and left the room. 

we both stood there observing the room, it was quite minimalist and it fit the dream room of a student for studying purposes. if only the library was like this. 

"let's start?" he said as he pointed to the table. nodding, I walked going to the middle of the room and dropped my bag by the seat I was going to sit on. 

a few minutes later...

checking my notes one last time, satisfied, I dropped it on the table and enthusiastically said "OK!! NOW LET'S TAKE A BREAK!" 

I heard sunghoon chuckle. looking at him, I gave him a sincere smile and continued to stretch. getting the cup of coffee, I happily took a sip.

"you seem to be my conjugate base since we have a lot in common.." 

I choked on my coffee. 

"OH MY GOD, Y/N ARE YOU ALRIGHT?-" 

"Y-YEAH, I'M ALRIGHT. i-i was just surprised with the sudden pick-up line.." 

wiping the stained shirt with a tissue, I looked up seeing sunghoon holding a piece of paper.

"oh, this?" he asked. he bent down and got another strip of paper that was scattered on the floor. clearing his throat, he read out loud.

"there's a side view, a rearview, and what else? I loview."

we both burst out laughing at the corny pick-up line. excited, I dropped down at got another random piece of paper,

"I'm good at algebra, i can replace your X and you wouldn't need to figure out Y." i said as i winked at him at the same time. 

sunghoon chuckled to himself, "i don't even have an ex" 

and the rest of the night went with both of us laughing at the cringy pick-up lines.

11:00PM

"kids, we're about to close now," the owner of the store reminded us as me and sunghoon were having fun with the pick-up lines. we snapped our heads to the voice and nodded our heads.

as the owner left, we both packed our things and went out of the cafe. 

"that was honestly so fun," sunghoon admitted as we both waited in front of the bus stop. 

"i know.." i whispered to myself, smiling as i recalled that time. 

but then the rain started to pour.

"oh shoot, i don't have a-" 

then a heavy object was suddenly wrapped around my shoulders, i looked at the guy beside me and his coat was gone. "you can use my jacket instead, my bus is next anyway" he smiled.

blushing, i nodded my head in a small manner and looked away from his dazzling face. "t-thanks" i managed to say despite my heart beating out of my chest.

"no. i don't like him. i dont." my own voice rang in my head.

we sat on the bench listening to the rain dripping and the sound of the cars honking and people laughing and talking. 

until sunghoon's bus came. 

as the bus went on a full stop, sunghoon stood up and slung his bag over his shoulder and waved at me. i waved back with a huge smile on my face and he entered the bus. i watched him walk inside the empty bus and sat on one of the seats by the entrance of the bus. the door closed and he looked forward meeting my eyes just staring at him. shoot-  

"bye y/n" he mouthed and the bus started to leave, while i was there not letting the bus out of my sight just yet.

the bus started to get smaller and smaller and i looked forward smiling to myself like a complete pyscho reminiscing the "study session" i had with sunghoon. 

present

it was his death anniversary. 

everyone around was sobbing and crying to themselves as i simply stared at his picture placed on top of his coffin, fighting back the tears that were going to pour out of my eyes any second. 

he got into a car crash that day. 

the more i stared into his picture that was smiling back, the more i couldn't hold the hot tears. without myself knowing, it just poured. my legs gave up on me as i kneeled on the wooden floor, my brother immediately coming up to me and hugged me. i mourned, burying my head into his chest making his black polo shirt wet with tears. 

"he's always here with us y'n..always" my brother said, also trying to fight back his tears as his voice went weak. 

"i hope so too, jay." i managed to say. but then nothing helped, nothing. we both continued to cry and mourn. a few minutes passed and we were both lead to our table filled with soju and some snacks. i couldn't even manage to lift my head up or reach my hands to get the food displayed in front of me. 

a finger tapped my shoulder and i slowly looked behind me, a hand appeared with a notebook. i looked up and saw sunghoon's younger sister wearing a weak smile.

"my brother told me to give this to you"  

"thanks.."

i gently got the notebook from her hand and she bowed, running back to her parents.

i turned back feeling nervousness run through my veins as i stared at the notebook. gulping, ready to fight back the tears i opened it. in each page, had a strip of paper glued to it. the pick-up lines. 

"he kept them?" i whispered to myself as i continuously flipped through the pages letting nostalgia? euphoria? complete sadness flow through me. i reached the last page, showing the study sessions i had with sunghoon. a picture for each month. 

as expected, i couldn't help it as water fell on the paper and i slammed the notebook shut, not wanting the pages to get wet. looking up, i wiped my tears off my face and opened it again. examining the pages and the little notes pasted i smiled to myself thinking: