My world

I haven’t been on here in a VERY long time, and I very much doubt anyone will read my silly waffling but...hey...whatever, read if you want to by all means!  

Now, I am one of those people that wants to help and be useful in anyway possible, maybe even have a job where I can actually contribute to society. 

But...and I know (there’s always a butt...I mean but!) 

I have no direction, I had direction. I thought I was going in the right direction, but the trouble is no one even gives you a compass for life. They never tell you how to navigate through all the crap shitty poo times or how to go about finding happiness. 

Because it isn’t until you’ve been through hell and back that you can say that you’ve actually lived. 

I had some real horrible stuff happen to me, but then when I actually think about it, yeah... some of it was out of my control. But the rest was all me. For a decade I have been punishing myself for thinking that I should have been able to foresee these bad things and stop them from happening..and can you believe I actually blame myself for them happening! 

I must be mental for thinking that!

Because, like I said, life comes with no compass. 

So for those that are perhaps thinking now how I thought until very recently, I’ll give you what I gave myself.

Hope.

Hope that everyday can bring something new and unexpected. And yes, some of these might not be what you want. I sure as hell still get crap dumped at my feet. However, rather than being consumed by the past that has already happened, look forward to things that will happen and accept that life brings good and bad. It is up to you if you choose to accept it or not because it is YOUR LIFE.