lucid dream reality

You were assigned to her because your frame couldn’t handle the weight of a blade, or a hammer, or even the gravity of silence in the space station without cracking. It was Asta’s idea: “Let them help you catalog your research. At least give them a corner of your lab. Something safe.”

You thought it would be boring. It was. At first.

You sat cross-legged beside her as she dissected strange bioforms from simulated ruins. She explained them in careful cadence, pausing only to glance at your arms as you etched notes into your tablet with shaking hands.

You grumbled once, “If only I had better arms.”

Ruan Mei had looked up from her microscope, quiet for a moment too long. “If only we could do something about those arms,” she agreed absently, not out of cruelty—but curiosity. Wondering how you hadn’t shattered completely under your own hope.

You remember laughing, but you don’t remember her smile.

Much later—after the tidal event, after the watery moon swallowed your legs and gifted you obsidian replacements—she finds you again. In the space station's botanical lab. You’re standing now, stronger, sharper, leaning against a table like someone who’s forgotten the ache of glass bones.

She watches you trace a petal between new gloved fingers. She doesn’t say anything until you speak first.

“You’re the biology one, right?”

It doesn’t hurt her—she’s too practiced for that—but she hesitates.

“Yes,” she says finally. “You used to call me Mei-Mei.”

You blink. Something flickers in your eyes. It isn’t recognition. But it’s close.

“...Did I like you?”

She doesn't answer. Instead, she gently takes your hand. “You were curious once,” she says. “That was all I ever needed.”

And for a second, even with all the parts you’ve lost, even without memory, you feel like something worth studying again.

“3.5 on the Mohs scale?” Herta had said the first time she saw you. “That’s adorable.”

You hated her at first. Her sarcasm made you feel like an exhibit. She even had a puppet designed to look like you—“For field testing fragility thresholds!” she insisted. You didn’t understand whether she was mocking or admiring you.

She called you “Shardlet.”

You called her “Annoying.”

But then… you broke. Again. And again. And again.

And each time you came back to the station, Herta had logged your break points. She replaced your legs with floating gravite limbs—untethered, lighter than air. She replaced your arms with bio-silica mesh that moved with a strange grace. You never asked where she got them. You didn’t want to know.

One day, your head was gone. Snapped off in a warzone. Replaced with one that once belonged to another.

The next time Herta saw you, she froze mid-sentence. You stood in her lab, gloves on, limbs glowing softly from bio-silicon, and a mismatched head tilting toward her curiously.

“Hey. You’re that puppet lady, right?”

She didn’t laugh. She didn't even tease you.

She stared at you like she had finally understood her own experiments were never about puppets—but about people.

“Yeah,” she said slowly. “I used to be your favorite.”

You paused. Something about the silence didn’t sit right. Your gem eye flickered. “Oh.” A beat. “...Sorry.”

Herta didn’t say it, but her smile was strained.

That night, one of her puppets sat beside your bed, reading aloud from a book called The Conservation of Consciousness. You didn't understand half the words, but for the first time in months… you slept peacefully.

Ratio didn’t underestimate you. That was the first strange thing.

He saw you fumble with books too heavy for your delicate wrists and still said, “You’re trying. Most don’t bother.”

When you were paired together—“for stabilization,” they said—you expected ridicule. But Ratio just talked. Long, winding lectures about logical fallacies and the arrogance of the Genius Society.

You didn’t understand most of it. But you liked how his voice made your thoughts slow down.

“Why not just make yourself stronger?” he asked once. “You want to be useful, yes?”

You nodded so hard your shoulder cracked.

He blinked. “...Perhaps we’ll start with theory.”

And so you learned. You broke. You learned more.

Then one day, you were nearly gone. Half of you was replaced, including the mind that Ratio once admired for its sincerity. When you returned to the Guild, he was there, staring at the shell you had become.

Your new head tilted as you regarded him.

“Sorry, do I know you?”

Ratio rarely faltered. But this time… he did.

He stepped close, brushing a strand of hair from your mismatched face.

“No,” he said softly. “But I knew who you could’ve been.”

Anaxa once told you that breaking was the first step toward becoming.

You didn’t understand it then. You were still whole. Still clumsy, and eager, and soft-eyed.

“Why do you let them call you names?” you asked once.

He laughed bitterly. “Because names are shallow. But truth cuts deep.”

You admired him. Followed him. He never tried to shield you from the horrors—only warned you they were coming.

The day you lost your arms, and half your resolve, he found you collapsed on a planet of shell-dust and bone.

He didn’t ask what happened. He knew. He had seen it before.

He knelt beside you and said, “If you want to curse the universe, you can. But don’t you dare call yourself useless.”

You wept with no tears.

Eventually, he vanished too—seeking something he called the mirror of self-annihilation. You were left behind with his last letter, scorched at the edges, which read:

“When you’ve lost your arms, your name, your face—look into any still water. If you find your reflection staring back… burn it. That was never you. Keep going.”

Years later, you find his mirror, cracked and buried under time.

You stare into it.

And for the first time, you don’t ask who you are.

You ask what you still have left to lose.

ruan mei was one of the picks i had for both this and albie's og ask because. hey, biology lady that - iirc - replicated a whole ass emanator, she would LOVE this, but ALSO?? i've always found her detachment interesting.. is detachment the right word? something like that, so in my mind, it was like "what would happen if something with a bright luster, dimmed and forgot about her?"

Ruan Mei had looked up from her microscope, quiet for a moment too long. “If only we could do something about those arms,” she agreed absently, not out of cruelty—but curiosity. Wondering how you hadn’t shattered completely under your own hope.

her curiosity abt phos!reader lead to sth less than satisfaction after the actual incident. neither of them knew abt what was gonna happen. oh my heart. they don't even know her name anymore by the time of their return, bro just knows her as 'biology lady' now bc of what they can see and what theyve learned. THEY USED TO CALL HER MEI-MEI, WHAT THE HELL.

And for a second, even with all the parts you’ve lost, even without memory, you feel like something worth studying again.

IM SOOOOOOO. IM SOOOOOOOOOOO DISTRAUGHT HFGEGEFRGRGFR. MOVING ON BEFORE I WEEP

the herta is. the herta, of course she'd take some form of interest in this silly little shardlet.. ok but the fact that phos!reader felt like she was either mocking or making fun of them 😭😭 they tghiught that she was annoying.......

And each time you came back to the station, Herta had logged your break points. She replaced your legs with floating gravite limbs—untethered, lighter than air. She replaced your arms with bio-silica mesh that moved with a strange grace. You never asked where she got them. You didn’t want to know.

OK BUT LIKE. I SAW THAT PART AND I FOUND IT SO !! FUN !! the actual mentions of real materials made me jump around in joy bc wait "what the hell is [x]? THAT SOUNDS INTERESTING?"

but also! in the actual manga, i was never sure if hardness/toughness would affect things like weight, bc canon phos' legs made them reaaally really fast.

imagining reader's initial reactions to each mineral tho, and lining them up with the source material's. phos initially hated their new legs, bc thety couldnt STOP zooming around whenever they moved (and imagining herta trying to keep reader still when every step they take is just. zoom!). the other lustrous were scared of their new arms because they could shift forms and grab stuff, phos just utilized it for battle and battling the lunarians (herta watching while they use the alloy as a shield or just to reach for sth across the room)

WAIT. I JUST REMEMBERED. THAT BIT ABOUT THE ALLOY ARMS ACTUALLY DID STH RLLY FUCKED UP TO THEM. (CW IMAGERY OF GEM BODY HORROR)

THIS. THIS HAPPENED. CAIRNGORM, PHOS' NEW PARTNER, LOOKS REALLY SIMILAR TO THEIR OLD PARTNER !! AND DUE TO CONFUSION AND PREVIOUS TRAUMA, THEY TRAP CAIRN IN A BOX BECAUSE "IT'S DANGEROUS. YOU MIGHT GET TAKEN AWAY, ANTARC." shakes fist. sorry im not normal abt this

“Hey. You’re that puppet lady, right?” She didn’t laugh. She didn't even tease you. She stared at you like she had finally understood her own experiments were never about puppets—but about people. “Yeah,” she said slowly. “I used to be your favorite.”

DO NOOOOOOOT. "i used to be your favorite." IM GOINGF TO DIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!! HER SHARDLET IS GONE. SO GONE. IM SO UPSET IMRG RRHRGRGRGRGRHRGR... even if she annoyed them a lot, she was still a rlly important person in their life. to think that they didnt lose her, but the MEMORIES of her, is worse than any other loss fathomable. AND THE READER DOESNT EVEN???>@>@?@> IM DYING HERE

That night, one of her puppets sat beside your bed, reading aloud from a book called The Conservation of Consciousness. You didn't understand half the words, but for the first time in months… you slept peacefully.

did you at least kiss the brick before throwing it

ratio...... ohhh ratio </3 i love how he never looked down on them or called them weak. just acknowledged that they were willing to try. willing to be strong, even if the cost was sth neither could rlly predict. i mean, to some extent, depending on the amount of knowledge known abt reader's species and properties, but STILL. YOU GET WEHAT I MEAN.

Then one day, you were nearly gone. Half of you was replaced, including the mind that Ratio once admired for its sincerity. When you returned to the Guild, he was there, staring at the shell you had become.

OOOOOOH. OOOOOOHHHH WHAT IF I PERISHED AWAY INTO A PILE OF DUUUUUUUUUUST. "the mind that ratio once admired for its sincerity." IM GOING TO DIE. ITS ALSO WAY WORSE, KNOWING THAT PHOS JUST GOT WORSE AMD WORSE OVER THE COURSE OF THE MANGA

like. they used to be "ughhhh >:(( i wanna do something COOL. wdym i have to write an ENCYCLOPEDIA? let me fight with the rest of my gem kin!" before becoming. smarter, more mature, and stronger... just how they wanted, but what is the POINT if they dont even remember why anymore, by the time they have a new head??? (its diff in the canon story ofc but in these fics... these fics.)

"Sorry, do I know you?" / "No," [...] "But I knew who you could have been."

youre killing me. YOURE KILLING ME HERE

anaxagorgeous /nsrs /cj. im gonna be honest! im so distraught! you mean to tell me that the reader lost him, too. you. you what ! you what ! youy WHT

You admired him. Followed him. He never tried to shield you from the horrors—only warned you they were coming.

HONESTLY I DO LOVE THIS KIND OF THING, because realistically, its a better way of learning of how to go around things ... or to adapt. and to apply what was taught to them. can he be my teacher instead, icl?????? ilysm anaxa

He knelt beside you and said, “If you want to curse the universe, you can. But don’t you dare call yourself useless.”

OIUUUYGHHHH YOU DONT UNDERSTAND HOW MNUCH THIS WLD MEAN. LIKE IMAGINE BEING GIVEN THE SIMPLE AND SAFE JOBS, OR BEING UNDERESTIMNATED BC OF THE WEAK CONSTITUTION OF YOUR BODY. you are immediately either going to be coddled or seen as useless. BUT HE DOESNT THINK EEEEIIITHER OF THOSE THINGS FOR THE READER. IM GOINGF TO DIE

“When you’ve lost your arms, your name, your face—look into any still water. If you find your reflection staring back… burn it. That was never you. Keep going.”

BITING MY FIST AND ROLLING AROUND I THE GRASS. I HATE. OMG. IM. GONNA HGDGGEGEGEGGER. ykw? maybe im glad that he never got to see what the reader became by the end of their misery. but worst case scenario, he'd be the one to tell them that "despite everything, it's still you." DO YOU SEE THEJ FUCKING VISION. DO YOU SEE IT. BECAUSE I DO AND IM NOT NORMAL IM NOTYREGRFEGRGR

im so upset. i feel like just from this, they want to keep their core mineral intact (which is LITERALLY just whatever non-limbs they have) to remember him, even if hes just a vague face and voice that ppl talk abt.

GENERALLY, THIS WAS A LOVELY SURPRISE. literally i woke up 2-3hrs ago and saw this in my notifs, so i was like "?!>?@?!>@?@? FOR ME? FOR MEEEEEEEEE???" /j LMFAO. NO BUT AS ALWAYS, YOUR WRITING HITS AND IT HITS HARD. YOUR LAST LINES FOR EVERY SINGLE PART WERE WONDERFUL TOO