the stage becomes a ship in flames

Yesterday, I made this post on my personal site's blog about something about my system. It's a disclosure of some personal information that I want to be more open about and is pretty much the last thing I was at all secretive about on my personal site. It's not anything bad about me, but it has to do with my trauma (not graphic or detailed).

Last time in therapy, our therapist said "it sounds like your system is going through kind of a reset" in reference to some of the structure changes hastened by the breakup. My therapist doesn't know the term "system reset", but I think we're going through one right now. Not one of the ones where all the alters go away and they're replaced by new ones, but one of the ones where major things about the structure and fronting patterns change.

That thing I just reblogged that says "you don't have to belong everywhere" and that's supposed to be comforting. I honestly don't feel like I belong anywhere. Not even in the spaces I've created myself. And I'm okay with that. Because you don't have to BELONG somewhere to have the right to be there. I don't belong in the town I'm in, or the queer communities I'm in, or the Discord servers I run, but that's okay because I can still be part of them.

I hope people block me for saying this but I genuinely see "trans" and "cis" as an oppressive artificial binary like how "man" and "woman" are. If you individually genuinely fit into it, good for you, but stop acting like everyone does or that you can tell when someone is one or the other or that you write the rules for deciding which someone is or that you can't be both at once.

Be aware that I block intersexists and people who reblog intersexist posts and people who believe intersexist things. I do not care enough about any of you to educate you on why the things you're saying are intersexist, especially because all my energy right now is dedicated to just surviving. I just don't want you fucks in my life so I hit block. If you're in one of my servers currently you might get a conversation about why what you said was bad, but unless you're actively part of a community that I built, I don't put up with people who are even remotely shitty to intersex people even a little bit.

Hey, so, the alter using the name "Vyvian" currently isn't the same Vyvian that you're used to. That Vyvian split into a subsystem over no longer being able to handle the circumstances of our life and he's not in the system anymore.

My system has finally split the obligatory Jerma alter! My name is Cap which is short for Cappuccino because I am based more on Jermacore, the music project by music producer JapaneseCoffee. It's musical remixes of clips from Jerma's streams. However I'm not NOT a Jerma factive too (we have barely watched his streams and mostly only watched them with our ex with whom we recently broke up LOL)