I Work at a Zoo

As I'm standing there, holding a lion's mane for people to touch (and learn), an adult woman approaches. The woman was at least in her 40s, probably older.  While stroking the lion's mane, she looked at me and asked in a little baby voice, "The kitty wasn't alive when you took this, was it?"

Me:  *trying to recover from the shock of an adult speaking like a child*  "Umm, no --"

But before I could continue on and explain, her husband approached (even older) and asked, also in a baby voice:  "Umm, why did you skin a tiger?"

Tween Boy: "Do lions make good house pets?"

His Mom: "What do you think?"

Me: "Umm,...no."

Him: "Well, you should just use GMO's and inject them so they can be house pets."

Me: "Well, GMO's don't quite work that way, and they're used mostly with plants."

Him: "And foxes!"

Me: "Okay."

Him: *while parents are trying to walk away* "You should just inject, like, dog blood into a lion to make it into a house pet."

Me: "Well, that would probably be harmful to the lion because it's a different species, and we don't want to do things that would hurt them."

Coworker: "Where are you headed?"

Me: "Somali wild ass research."

Him (to another person): "What did she say?"

Camper: "My shirt is too long!"

Me: "I know, and it's the smallest size we have! But after you get home and wash it, you can wear it as a nightshirt and even grow into it."

Today's little camper was fairly unenthusiastic about, well, everything.  In particular, she flat-out refused to touch any of the stingray food (a mix of capelin, mackerel, shrimp, squid, and clam).  At first, she said, "It's too gross!"

Visitor: "So how long does it last?"

Me: *not understanding* "I'm sorry?"

Visitor: "Like how long does it live?"

Me: "The stingrays?"

Visitor: "Yeah."

Child: "Mommy, draw something."

Mom: "No thank you."

Child: "Why?"

Mom: "Because I don't want to."

My co-worker and I have had a running joke for a few weeks involving a coconut.  He has one that he used as a prop for a tour, and he keeps trying to get rid of it by putting it on the table in our office.  And I keep putting it back on his desk (without telling him) because I get tired of it rolling around, and no one wants an old coconut.

Yesterday I got all the way to my car in the parking lot, unlock the door, and toss my backpack inside.  I get in the car, turn on the engine and A/C, and realize I don't have my sunglasses.  So I start digging through my backpack to find them, but what is that, there, under a notebook? 

A COCONUT!!!  A coconut now marked in red Sharpie:  "Property of [my initials]."

A co-worker (who is in his early 70s) was using the restroom in our building, in the handicapped stall.  While in there, his radio (which we're required to carry) went off.

A group of boy campers was also in the restroom.  One said, "What is that??"

Another said, "Who is in there?"

Me: *holding camel hair for people to touch*

Man: "Is that chicken so we can feed the camels?"

Me: "..."

Me: "It's camel hair, and you can touch it if you like."

Man: "I thought it was chicken!"

Little Boy: "How do you know so much about camels?"

Little Girl: "Did you know that sometimes I sneak out of my house and go into this garden that's right there and pull the grass and tie knots into it?"

Dad: "How old is this baby animal?"

Me: "He's one month old."

Little Boy: "My dad is forty."