hell take us, heaven can wait

i’m not like other girls. i don’t die when i’m killed

if you sneeze without covering your mouth on public transit then you deserve *pauses to consider my convictions regarding punitive justice* *nods head resolutely* the death penalty

this is still going around with the old dead links - please help me share this version

goku — or, as the french call him, geauxcoup,

guys. i really like you. it's nice to be on this dashboard together

got a crick in my neck and a frog in my throat and a chip on my shoulder and a stick up my ass and now you're gonna stand there puttin words in my mouth? haven't I been through enough?

we need to bring back the phrase "what business is it of yours" in a big way i'm serious

i know you can just say "none of your business" but phrasing it as a question with a jarringly formal tone is the ideal way to shoot an overfamiliar unwelcome overture dead in its tracks and force the person making it to confront the boundaries they're taking for granted + it would really piss people off which is funny

&also it allows you to experience the joy of talking like an autistic vampire, which i highly recommend

fucking love when the character's body doesn't belong to them. you stole this body. or you were put in it without a choice. either way you can't give it back. maybe they're gone now. maybe you've got something left to do. maybe you don't know how. maybe you don't want to. maybe you're just afraid to die. and sometimes your physicality sickens you. and sometimes this body feels so entirely your own. and sometimes your loved ones look at you and you know they've just remembered that this is someone else's face. that you are a parasite. and you wonder whether you'd really give it back. whether these people would want you to. whether you'd have the strength to face your body's loved ones and justify yourself.