Thinking about Bannerfall Nom again.
Thinking about how cc!Nom has mentioned having ADHD. Thinking about how it’s very common in neurodivergent folk to feel all your emotions very strongly and to not always react well to things. Thinking about how bf!4C was scared to tell bf!Nom about letting the oathbreak slip because of how he’d react. Thinking about how Nom KNEW he wasn’t taking it well and still couldn’t keep his temper.
Thinking about how Scott was always gentle with Nom despite disagreeing with a lot of his actions, especially regarding the Creaking King. Thinking about how Scott gave him grace and patience and never once made Nom feel like Scott was afraid of him, or that he’d abandon him.
I am someone who is very intense, feels my emotions strongly, and often reacts to things loudly and dramatically (usually perceived as anger even if that’s not entirely what I feel). I’ve had friends during multiple points of my life who have been afraid to tell me things because of this. Some dealt with it by approaching me tentatively in a controlled environment, some by just avoiding me or cutting me off entirely. I’ve lost lots of friendships and have struggled with feeling abandoned, but a few friends have stuck with me through it all and have never made me feel like they’re scared of me, which I understand takes a certain type of strength, and I appreciate all they’ve had to put up with from me, and I love them so much.
There have been times in my life where I haven’t had those people, which is why Flowersmith means so much to me, as a ship and as a pairing in general. Scott is patient and understanding and assures Nom that he will never leave his side, and there is always a resolution to every one of their fights, which I could see becoming the absolute escapist fantasy for anyone who has been in similar situations to me.
Nom is aware of these flaws and WANTS to change, but doesn’t know how, and GODS does that hit home. I love seeing this portrayed through his eyes in raw, unedited format. That’s a perk of the streamed SMPs- there’s nothing in the way it’s portrayed that frames a character’s actions as “good” or “bad”, especially if you were a VOD watcher and didn’t have the music. These actions just… exist. They’re allowed to just exist. It feels very forgiving. Non-judgemental.
Nom still has to deal with the consequences of the people he’s hurt by his explosiveness. He has to deal with the people closest to him being afraid of him. He has to try to learn to be less impulsive and to think things through, but he still can’t help the way his brain is. It’s no excuse for his actions, but it’s a very real struggle and it doesn’t take a lot of work to see how I’ve been in similar situations (minus the mace and the medieval fantasy).
Anyway bf!Nom is a real one. The neurodivergent character ever.
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