$lick

I can’t breathe

This is the year. I’ll be dead by the end of this one.

I’m back to the place where I don’t care if I live or die. I know people are here for me and I know they wouldn’t be the same if I wasn’t here but I keep fucking up. I keep making myself unhappy after so much effort and I can’t take it anymore. I don’t want to kill myself but fuck I wish it would just happen most of the time. Anything good for me leaves, any good opportunity turns into nothing or heartbreak. I can’t fix myself. Therapy can’t fix me. I want to be gone. I’m just yelling into the void at this point. No one listens. I hate this. I hate me.

I’ll be dead by dawn

I had a bullet in the chamber and you took my finger off the trigger.

I have everything I want now and you’re not here.

I’m definitely going to kill myself. I just don’t know when, ya know?