creative practice if you can hear me please let me into thesis. but anyway, first assignment ! tasked with observing my algorithm and sharing it with a room of people I dont know, I all of a sudden felt very tied to the videos. like what were they gonna infer about me if I show them these videos ? I immediately began deciding which videos id share with the class and which ones I wouldnt. trying to make my algorithm less 'me' in order to showcase it. but tbh once I started thinking about how this is an introductory assignment it no longer felt genuine of me to try and steer my feed away from me. BUT! I still couldnt bear the thought of having to share these videos and thus this project was born.

this project ran through like five versions as I was trying to figure out how to use TouchDesigner. eventually, I landed on this version. I first recorded my eye blinking. then I blindly saved a bunch of videos and imported them into touchdesigner. here is when I looked at a bunch of tutorials and glued together this project.

basically, every time my eye blinks the videos brightness changes quickly. using this change in information I then hooked it up to another channel where its just the tiktok videos playing. everytime I blink it switches to a random video. essentially relinquishing my control of what videos play and for how long.

wooo yay for video installation class!! felt like I explored lots of topics and got my brain juices flowing again. "Y Nada Mas," I feel like is gonna be a work that I circle back to and reference often. TouchDesigner was such a pain to work with but it felt extremely rewarding when I got it to work. It feels like im building a car with sticks and glue right now in terms of learning the program but im excited.

For this one in specific it's a still from a video my dad recorded where my brother and grandpa are walking in a farm in Nicaragua and there's something so tender about it; their clothes and the way their bodies are positioned in relation to each other. When I was looking into what 'static' actually is apparently its literally not random at all. We read it as disconnection and poor signal and I wanted to see how I could utilize it in this project. The static reacts to audio of my uncle singing Y Nada Mas By Silvio Rodriguez. Its featured earlier in the tape itself and my uncle was singing this drunkenly after a party. It’s kinda melancholic after reading the lyrics. Such beauty in the everyday, I could cry thinking about it.

NUEVA YOLLLLLL

(new york)

Not being aware of what awaited at the Camille Henrot Exhbition, I was immediately drawn to this collage on the wall titled "Dos and Don’ts - All the Bridesmaids a Present." Initially, I enjoyed the graphical nature of this piece, the layering of distorted papers, all which invited me in to further investigate what they were referecing.

It was reminiscent of their "Grosse Fatigue" video work which also features an overbearing amount of information that gets chopped up and interrupted all throughout. Seeing what is essentially graphic design in a physical manner made it more personable as someone who previously struggled seeing the art form as anything else but a way to communicate a corporate message or a way to sell something.

Seeing the tiny thumbnails on the files which were featured in the work were interesting as it physically called me into the work, allowing for my body to be in close proximity with it. Overall, despite it being flat on a frame the work presented itself in a physical manner.

On the 5th floor sat Catherine Goodmans Silent Music. After reading about the series of paintings featured I can appreciate how she begins with the observational practice of referencing landscapes and then builds off it and obscures the painting. Other than the process, they sort of just felt like another abstract expressionism painting. Reading on the website description they are meant to "invite sustained attention;" however, the mere size of them works against this goal. Or perhaps, it was the massive size of the room and the way in which they were set up that dominated the paintings. All in all, the only photo I took of this floor was this window as I found it the most interesting in the room.

"Furthermore, what is the commodity status of anti-commodities, that is, immaterial, process-oriented, ephemeral, performative events? While site-specific art once defied commodification by insisting on immobility, it now seems to espouse fluid mobility and nomadism for the same purpose. But curiously, the nomadic principle also defines capital and power in our times. Is the unhinging of site specificity, then, a form of resistance to the ideological establishment of art or a capitulation to the logic of capitalist expansion?"

I picked this quote because it highlights an internal conflict that I feel regarding to making work. Site specificity emerged as a response to art in institutions and then developed into as referenced in the text; “has come to mean movable under the right circumstances.” What once was a response to the intense commodification and a critique of institutions fell into the grasps of the very ideas it sought to criticize.

As a result, I am left to conclude that there is a distinction in art made with the goal to sell versus art that does not fall to the limitations of ‘marketable.’ With this road of thought, I am left to look at art through a consumerist lens. Does this make the work that is aesthetically pleasing and easily consumed more agreeable than art that is rich in matter. Or can they coexist and even amalgamate.

Furthermore, the text states, “Artists, no matter how deeply convinced their anti-institutional sentiment or adamant their critique of dominant ideology, are inevitably engaged, self-servingly or with ambivalence, in this process of cultural legitimation.” Interpreting this as, if artists engage in conversations that critique the very institutions that provide them with legitimacy, is art always under the facade of consumerism and profit.

What allows for art to exist in a world not guided by monetary value, institutions, or a need for legitimacy?

Journey of Tasks

In relation to my manifesto, I’m drawn to the roles that emerge through life’s experiences. Recently, while discovering home videos of my family in Nicaragua, I was overwhelmed by emotions I hadn’t realized were there. I found myself reflecting on my family members as young people, and their life journeys. For this project, I reference a task my mother was once given in Nicaragua: to gather plantains, carry them over a hill, and feed the pigs.

Video

Garden hooks, Water pump, Bra, Hospital Bracelet, Glass Bowl

Fluids depicts a moment which I experienced after my mother’s mastectomy procedure. After being released from the hospital I had to adjust to the role of caregiver: helping her shower, cooking meals for her, and feeding her. In this moment, I was helping her shower and she asked me to wash the one recovery bra in which the hospital gave her. The fabric was stained with blood, resulting in me washing it in our backyard with a hose and bucket with an extreme sense of urgency.

Video

Memories of Nicaragua was created in response to the disconnect I have to my cultural background and country. This piece presents a candid conversation between my mother and I. Having fled from the country at the age of 13 due to the revolution, she frequently shares narratives that predominantly depict scenes of violence and resentment towards Nicaragua. Thus, resulting in me not knowing much about the country of my family’s origin.