RIGVMORTIS

🌻

I know I’m really in love with you because the very first time we started talking you didn’t want to just have sex yet. You wanted to really get to know me. Top it off you actually admit your wrong and take responsibility for them. I never had that ever in a relationship. I have so much respect for that. But the biggest part was covid. When we got stuck in the god awful hotel for a month and half. We both know how bad things were. Especially because I was an asthmatic with covid. We were in the middle of it. I almost died, again. You took care of me. You showered me. You helped me cook even when I tried to stand but I couldn’t and was literally crying because I couldn’t stand on my own. Those nights were the hardest i had to sleep on the chair sitting up because my lungs couldn’t breathe laying down. I had to watch you laying on the bed in front of me. I’ve never been so scared in my life but there you were facing me in such a weird angle on the bed to make sure I wasn’t going to die. I would be up hours after you fell asleep just watching you. That feeling of how I could get so lucky to be with a woman like you. That even if anything would happened to us. I would devote myself to always try to make things work with you. To never give up on you. I didn’t want to miss another heartbeat without you. I always wanted to be close with you because that moment being just a couple feet watching you was the hardest thing I ever had to do. Just yearning to hold you when I couldn’t was so life changing. I always wanted you close from then on. I always wanted to protect you. I always wanted you and only you.

The moment I knew I loved you. It was around my birthday. Was when we had the huge ass fight about me being polyamorous and that I was talking to other people. I didn’t want to be in a relationship. I wanted to be single. You couldn’t be with me anymore. I hate myself for telling you because you were the first person I really wanted to just be honest with. I thought it was the right thing to do. You let me have it though. You let me know you cared about me and you gave me that ultimatum you always do. It fucking killed me. I couldn’t choose between people and I defiantly was not the type of person to be backed in the corner and forced. I knew I couldn’t lose you. You literally gave me the most thoughtful gifts I’ve ever got for my bday. For some reason I just really liked them. They were even super freaking cheap. I’m not even the type of guy to like cheap shit. But for some reason the stuff you gave me were just the things I liked. You did tell me you were great at giving presents. From that moment you already had me on the line. But you told me that you had a song for me… I was like wtf that’s weird. You actually wanted to sit in the car and show me a song for me. Never had that happen in my life.. LOL. I was like okay awkward… so I listened. I herd the song many times on the radio… it kinda went over my head.. but partly in the song you grabbed my hand… for some reason all the lyrics in the song had real meaning. I started crying… i was like wtf is going on with me…. I didn’t know how this was happening. But there we were listening to your song to me. Me discovering how much physical touch mattered because literally the week before we did the test on what kind of love language we were. (We almost had identical results) You remembered though and actually used physical touch to make me feel something. For the first time in my life someone helped me discover something new about myself I never knew. That is how I know I love you.

I love you because there was a time I was living at the golden hill pad. I was super depressed. I wasn’t able to see you and you were going home..I was just so tired of myself… needing someone always so bad. I hated my disorder. I hated myself… I was just sitting up on the couch staring at my 75” screen TV listening to music just some emo ass music. I decided I was sick of it all.. I wanted everything to end. Or just take enough of my bottle of medication and just sleep forever… so I poured a full sized handful of pills in my hand. Swallowed them down and chased it with alcohol..I even started to cut lines and rail them. I started to doze off I felt so numb. Face feeling super warm. I started to fall to my side on the couch and couldn’t keep my head up… all of a sudden I here this door bell. I thought I was dreaming but couldn’t get up. Then a knock happened… then another door bell. I still couldn’t managed to get up.. my head felt like 100lbs I was so fucked up. It was about like 5 min it took for me to pull myself up to check who it was. It was you. With a pizza. My heart sunk so deep. I’ve never actually had someone surprise show up for me. I couldn’t keep myself up anymore. I think you figured out something was wrong because I was drooling and literally slumped on the couch. I had medication all over the coffee table. Lines of powder and alcohol everywhere. I was just a mess literally falling asleep on you. But I remember I couldn’t be happier. Nobody ever showed up for me before. That’s when I knew something deep came over me, I loved you.

Yoselin for the first time orgasmed through her g spot and clit at the same time. The following day I also was able to make her orgasm with just her nipple! Two days in a row! Sex life is still very good. Able to orgasm at the same exact time is something really other worldly. Something on a whole other level.

My aunt passed away recently and my uncle has been in a pretty dark place. He has always been and felt like the black sheep in the family. He also has a drinking and narcotic problem. For some reason after the funeral I felt like it was more of a time to reach out. I never really talked to him besides the time he use to take me and my cousin out to go surfing. I’ve always herd his stories in our family of all of his mistakes. I’ve never told anyone but I felt like a related to a lot of his problems. He also has some mommy issues just like I do with his mother (my gma)… he always seemed to be searching for a good motherly figure all his life. I think me deciding to take time and help him with rehabbing his whole place was meant to be. Yoselin was with me through this whole experience and she moved back into the van. After talking to her mother. I think this all was going to help show us how to work together in our relationship. I think having all 3 of us working together has helped immensely. So funny to see 3 people with abandonment issues working together. During this process it was hard dealing with my uncle drinking and inhaling drugs by me… it was really a challenge. It just showed me how far I’ve come not needing those things. It felt so good finally being able to paint dry wall, pull the carpet and install flooring again. Doing it all with yoselin.. It felt like being in my element. It felt right.

-1 stinky butthole