Im Stuck In My Brain

I'm very much starved of affection, I want to remember how it feels to be held, to feel safe and be loved.

What they did to you wasn’t your fault

i seriously regret telling anyone, anything, ever lmao

i hate that i’m so absent as a person. i don’t start conversations. i can barely maintain them. i’m so weary and spaced out all the time to the point where i can’t even keep up small talk and i’m just so disappointed in myself

You don’t have to be positive all the time to prove you’re trying or healing. It’s okay to just say “this fucking sucks right now”. No one is positive all the time, please don’t expect that of yourself. 

we all talk about the intimacy of eye contact but do you ever think about the intimacy of looking at someone’s eyes while they’re looking at something else—either because they’re distracted or they’re deliberately allowing you to have this moment to yourself or they know that it’ll be too much to look back at you directly—and if so does it ever just make you go full crazy

in all seriousness it's very alienating knowing theres Something Wrong With You. like seeing your mental illness come through in your behaviour and thought processes and knowing it's irrational and unhealthy, knowing other people are reading you as weird or stupid, and not being able to do anything about it is such a lonely experience