Describing Disneyland rides to make them sound as shitty as possible
Splash Mountain: You're strapped to a log and thrown over a waterfall
Star Tours: Canonically incorrect Star Wars.
Jungle Cruise: The ride you go on when Indiana Jones breaks down.
Pirates of Caribbean: Hey look we added Johnny Depp!
Haunted Mansion: We wanted to remind you of your inevitable death.
Big Thunder Mountain Railroad: Yep still closed.
Peter Pan: Why the fuck is this a 40 minute wait.
Snow White: Give your kids nightmares!
Pinocchio: Fun is bad mm'kay?
Mr. Toad's Wild Ride: You go to hell
Dumbo: You get kinda sorta dizzy
Casey Jr. Train: All aboard the train to shameville
it's a small world: 'nuff said
Rodger Rabbit: Why does this have a fast pass again?
Everything Else in Toontown: Screaming children.
Space Mountain: Wait an hour in line only to have it break down when you get to the front.
Winny the Pooh: All the benefits of an LSD trip.
Disneyland Railroad: I'm in Toontown and I really don't want to walk to Main Street.
Mad Tea Party: I really need help throwing up.
Tower of Terror: I hope you like shitting your pants.
Soarin' Over California: I guess you can kinda smell things?
Radiator Springs Racers: Waiting In Line The Ride
Luigi's Flying Tires: The illusion of control.
Mater's Junkyard Jamboree: I need help throwing up.
Silly Symphony Swings: I want to throw up and also shit my pants.
California Screamin': Here's the roller coaster now shut up.
Mickey's Fun Wheel: Hey I have an idea on how to make a ferris wheel terrifying.
Goofy's Sky School: Stuck inside a sardine can with a side of whiplash
Ariel's Undersea Adventure: Hey it's inside and I can sit down
All of Bug's Land: I hope you brought a three year old.
Monster's Inc: Bring back the Whoopie Goldberg ride
tangentwithtanner
origamiaround
romaincrisis
kianamaiart
izzy806
titsay
jimmyeatworldofficial
prguitarman
