thick skinned.

“No! No. I-I mean…You don’t need to do that. It’s kind of a seedy bar and I don’t want you going there alone. Or with me…or like…ever. Yeah. Ever.” He nods emphatically against the grass, slapping his hand on the ground to emphasize his point. That’s the last place he wants Olivia to be. For numerous reasons. Mostly because he knows about her history…and knows that that bar is probably the last place Olivia would feel comfortable in. And all Emmett wants for Olivia is for her to be comfortable. Besides. He’ll either go back when he’s sober or pick it up when he goes back the next night. It’s not the first time he’s left his phone behind. There’s nothing interesting on it anyways. “Don’t worry about it. I’ll get it later. It’s not like anyone will be desperate to contact me.” He shrugs.

“I’m pretty sure campus is one of the safest places in this town. Hence why I’m laying here instead of…the park.” He pauses. “Does Palmetto have a park? I don’t…I don’t spend a lot of time in Palmetto. Thinking about it…If I don’t know about a park…where would…” He shakes his head. There’s a better rabbit hole to spiral down and honestly…park or no park he’d have ended up on campus eventually, right? He sighs. “I don’t think I”ll be moving for a while. And you don’t have to stay out here freezing with me.” He pauses, sighing again. “But…I think I’d like it if you stuck around. Being alone…means being in my head. And being in my head is…like…well, being in my head.”

Rumors of her Penn State issues were bound to get out, if the media didn’t imply it, gossip surely did. And a majority of it was true, even if it never came out of her mouth, why else would she transfer from such a high end Exy team and end up on the Foxes. She’d had it all, and she gave it up, and the reason was pretty obvious given the implications Zia had put out. So when he was quick to shut down the idea of her going to a seedy bar, as if it was do or die for her, she felt her cheeks heat up with an almost embarrassed blush. She could handle herself, if need be, but a part of her knew that her whole mental state going into somewhere with grimy, handsy guys might as well go out the window. “If it’s a bad place, I wouldn’t want you there either...” Olivia informed him, glancing over to Evan now, pursing her lips together as she sighed. “I’m gonna get you back to campus in one piece tonight, you can figure it all out tomorrow. Most people are sleeping by now anyways.”

He had a valid point, even if he was intoxicated, so she relaxed a bit as she glanced back up at the sky. “I don’t think so...I’m a big fan of parks too, but typically during the day time.” Olivia teased a bit, shooting him a little smile before stretching her legs out straight, head falling to the side as she moved her gaze back to him now. Her expression softened a bit when he informed her he would like it if she stuck around, and she gave him a little nod of her head, “I’ll stay, don’t worry, my schedules wide open and I’ll just sleep all day tomorrow. My usual routine anyways.” Pausing, she certainly knew what it was like to be in her head and how scary of a place it could be, so she sighed and leaned back to be flat on her back beside him. It was a clear view to the sky at least, and that was nice. “I get it, don’t worry.”

A pang of regret hits sharply as she heard Olivia’s voice. There wasn’t any logical reason to act so cowardly in front of someone she shared a living space with. Olivia wasn’t one to pry, and an interest in what she was doing — because this was something uncommon — shouldn’t have prompted hesitance on Alis’ part. 

She peered to Olivia, lips pressing together as she noticed the flush flooding the other woman’s cheeks. “I didn’t know how to do this a few weeks ago, so you’re fine. I don’t know how common this really is.” She leaned forward, the canvas in one hand and the latch hook in the other. “Essentially I’m just looping yarn around this hook, popping it through the squares here on the canvas, and it’ll knot into place. And it’s just matching the colors on the canvas with the yarn you have. These are usually rugs, but I found these nice fox designs, and I just —- thought it was nice.”

Swallowing, she leaned back against her chair, trying for a smile. It was — weird talking about these things. It’s not anything about Exy, and at this point, only Grant knew of her interest. And that happened on a whim. Now, she basically —- invited people to inquire about what she was doing. And maybe she wanted them to know, maybe she just —- wanted to be known for something outside of Exy.

           ( if she was truly honest with herself, she wants to be known as alis tan of the foxes, lover of crafts and not alis the former twin, the girl trying too hard to be her dead sister. but unwrapping that would have to be for another day )

Licking her lips, she tried for a smile. “It gives me something to do while we wait. Otherwise, I’d probably be freaking out a little more.”

The athlete tended to keep her head down on most days, she didn’t like causing trouble and she certainly didn’t enjoy being the center of attention, so her speaking up was probably out of the ordinary. Most of her life she was fine with just being alone, but as of late, she had kept herself up with the thought that she didn’t want to be entirely alone and unknown her whole life. She didn’t want to just disappear the die she finally bit the big one, she wanted to make history sure, but she wanted people in her life to remember. Not that she expecting that from Alis, it would be silly to think so given the few interactions they had, but making an effort to talk to people would be a step in the right direction right? 

Nibbling at the inside of her lip, she listened as her roommate spoke, nodding slowly at the explanation. It seemed complicated, but like most thing, probably easy when you got the hand of it. “How did you pick it up to begin with? It’s a unique hobby, at least, I haven’t seen too many people do it, if any our age. Not that it’s a bad thing-” She was rambling, and she pursed her lips together as she creased her brows together, glancing at the thing in her hands instead of the girl’s face.

“It looks cool...i don’t blame you for trying to busy yourself. Airports aren’t exactly the most comfortable places to be stuck. I never traveled much before college Exy.” She admitted with a tiny shrug, tucking her knees to her chest, resting her chin on top of them as she let out a slow sigh, “What pattern are you working on? I like the colors...also if you get bored and want to grab a snack, stretch your legs or something, let me know. What are roommates for, right?”

location: airport ( after first delay ) date: march 29th open

Alis opts to sit while others begin milling around. The news of the delay leaves her heart racing; they’ll have enough time before the game despite it, but the what ifs linger, a precursor to familiar spiraling. And she’s not keen to becoming paralyzed by her own nerves, not in the middle of the airport. 

There’s nothing any of them can do about the delay. She can’t change the circumstances as much as she wishes she had the power to do so. All she can do is wait, and try to pass each agonizing second by remaining busy.

And where this would cue mounds of homework, she, for once, completed her work earlier in the week. Instead, she reaches into her carry-on, drawing out materials for the sudden curiosity that gripped her attention over the last few weeks. Latch hook rugs appear —- a little messy, but there’s a certain charm to the method. She didn’t quite expect to be so hooked, but she’s been watching different videos for so long, she finally convinced herself to purchase a few mini canvases. And the fox designs on each are not only adorable, but absolutely fitting.

She didn’t pack the boatload of yarn that arrived with the kits, but she brought along two colors to use along the way. And lucky her, security didn’t confiscate the hooks, so she doesn’t have to painstakingly use her fingers to loop the short pieces of yarn through the squares. She figures she’s got about an hour or two’s worth of something, be it fun or something distracting.

But right as she starts, that nagging sense of being watched causes her pause. “You can join in if you want,” she says without looking up. There’s hesitance and a hint of strain wrapped in her words; she doesn’t wish to see the gaze of someone judging her for this craft, even if that may not be the case. She can handle a few jabs — nobody stayed on the team for long if they couldn’t —- but she’d rather avoid immediately seeing who’s teasing her for this. “I have enough materials for two if you want something to do.”

She didn’t pry much into her roommates lives, half because by the time she got to her room she just crashed after practices or just exhaustion from stress about the championships being so close but so far away, but another half is that lingering memory of what happened last time she got close to someone from Penn State. Zia was ripped away from her, for defending her, and the guilt always brewed beneath the service. But at least she found the Foxes from it, Olivia didn’t regret her decision to come and play for them, even when people called her crazy for it. Said it would ruin her chances of going pro, of getting signed. She didn’t care, she’d always defied the odds, and this would be no difference.

But this wasn’t about her, it was about Alis, as she sat across from her at the airport. Right now, they all should’ve been in the air, and there was with feeling of anxiety lingering around the large room as they awaited to be cleared and done with this delay. Olivia hadn’t flown too much in her life time, typically her father said driving saved more money, but he wasn’t the brightest crayon in the box. Airports were like little cities, each had their own charms, but she didn’t want to be stranded in one with a big game on the line. She was bounced her knees as she picked at her cuticles, trying to focus on something, anything, to ease the tension in her body.

That was when she watched Alis dig into her bag and pull something out, brows creasing as she tried to piece together would it was, peering behind her glasses as she realized what it was. It reminded her of something her grandma probably would’ve loved, but that wasn’t anything bad, it looked...relaxing. A blush hit her cheeks almost instantly though whenever she was called out for staring, clearing her throat as she reached for her water bottle for a large swig. “Oh...uh, I don’t, know how to do that.” She motioned to the work she was busying her hands with, shrugging her shoulders, “It looks really cool though...what are you working on?”

Her questions come too fast. He doesn’t really take them all in, doesn’t really care to. He’s glad that the person that found him was Olivia. She’s nice. He likes her. She doesn’t say mean things to be mean. She gets things. Mostly though…he just likes her. Soft and kind. Olivia Finch. “I don’t own a phone that tells the time unless I turn it on.” Emmett admits, half shrugging his shoulders against the grass. He absently pats his pockets. Flatter than usual. His wallet, his dorm key, but no phone. Not a surprise. He loses it more often than he uses it really. “Fuck. I don’t even have my phone. Best case I left it in my room. Worst case I left it at the bar. I might be there when I go back. Probably tomorrow.” He lapses into silence, thinking. “Definitely tomorrow.” He shouldn’t. He knows this. But he just…doesn’t care right now. He’s far too warm to care about much right now anyways.

He scoots over so he’s right next to Olivia now. His knees at her hip. She’s warm. It’s nice. It’s a struggle to focus in on her right now, drunk as he is, but he notices that she’s breathing pretty hard. Harder than anyone should be this time of night. “Were you running?” He can’t help but sound just a little bit skeptical. Running. After a game? She’s crazy. He laughs suddenly, the world tilting a little on it’s axis, the stars spinning wildly. “Running is for…for people less drunk than me.” He sighs heavily, full body sagging into the ground. “And I am…very, very, drunk right now.”

For a moment she focused on her breathing, deep inhales, slow exhales as she began finding the constellations like it was second nature at this point. It helped her ground herself even more before she raised a brow and glanced over as he began to pat himself down, in obvious search of the phone he was talking about. As Emmett continued to speak, she leaned back on her palms, rolling her shoulders back before nodding slowly, “Well, if you want, I can go look for it too tomorrow...ya know, if you don’t feel up to it.” it’s clear to her that he is highly intoxicated, a part of her even wondered if he would remember this conversation come tomorrow. When her father got inebriated, which was more often than not, he forgot a large chunk of their conversations. Or maybe he just said he didn’t so he wouldn’t have to own up to the damage he was doing to his only daughter, but she didn’t know if she wanted a true answer. For now, she’d keep Emmett company. He’s nice, and always kind, probably one of the only people in her life who even paid her any attention beyond Exy talent. 

As he scoots closer, she freezes for a moment out of reflex, out of fear almost until she takes a deep breath and exhaled it into the night sky. It was Emmett. Not a Penn State Lion, not her father. And it gave her peace of mind, even if he had the smell of alcohol lingering into the wind that blew past her. His question snaps her back into reality, and she nodded slowly, “Yeah...I was.” She admitted, shrugging her shoulders as she rolled her head to the side to glance over to him in the moonlight, noticing the way he carried himself, the way his words were almost distant and she sighed as she nodded, “I know you are...but I’m not going anywhere until you’re back in your room where it’s safe. So, until you are able to get back on your feet...it’s just you and me and the stars.” She offers with a tiny smile, closing her eyes for a moment as she took in the night air. 

Location: Room 324 Date: March 18th Time: 5:34 PM

“It’s called Brunswick stew.” Her voice was softer than the sound of the cut of knife, blade meeting the cutting board with each dice of the potato in her grip. She remembered a time when the knife in her hand had seemed more daunting, child sized palm barely wrapped around the handle, intimidated by the sharpness and size of the weapon. No, not weapon. Tool. But before being expected to take the helm of her father’s kitchen, Marley had seen it used more for the former than the latter. Waved carelessly around as the means of a threat, or more carefully aimed with precision, though it was always the carelessness that was scarier. The unpredictability of it, dependent on his anger, and the strike that had been made against him. 

She’d mistakingly told him of her sister’s running away, in the kitchen. She should have known better. Should have waited until after dinner, but before the drinking, for that sweet spot in the middle where his belly was full and his mind was sedated by it. The food had almost been ready when he’d began calling for her sister. Once should have been enough for her to come running (had she have been there, there wouldn’t have had to have been a first call), but when the sound of her footsteps did not appear, he called again. The second call alone was enough to trigger his temper, her name called louder, more demanding, and still met with silence. His face had turned redder than the stew, hand hitting the counter and making Marley jump with the force, spit flying from his lips with the third, booming call of Emma’s name. It had been three calls too many, his body thrusting forward to go find her for herself, hand instinctively grabbing at the knife on the counter, and though not being there, being in no real harm, Marley found herself speaking up out of pure and utter instinct, to spare her sister. She’s not here, her voice tore through the tense space. Initially, she feared not reaching him, him finding Emma’s empty side of their room for himself. But his body stilled in the entryway of the kitchen, almost eerily so, the only movement being the rising and falling of his shoulders. What do you mean, she’s not here? She did not see his lips move, but could hear the clench of his jaw. She, she’d tried to swallow down her fear, but it sat there in her throat, mouth suddenly dry as she tried again. She’s gone, papa–Marley had barely blinked by the time that he’d turned on her, crowded her against the counter with such force her hand instinctively fell to the stove for balance. Searing heat met her palm, but her focus was on the blade of the knife poised at her throat. What do you mean she’s gone? Where is she? Where the fuck is she, Marley? 

She’d been making Brunswick stew that night, too. Had to clean it up off of the kitchen floor, the cabinets, the ceiling…

A sudden sting brought her back, glancing down to find that she’d since found the end of the potato, but the tip of her finger. “Shit.” As to not contaminate her work, she was quick to pop it between her lips, already moving towards the kitchen sink and turning on the faucet. “Fingers aren’t part of the recipe, I promise.” She gave her guest a half-hearted smile, sticking her hand underneath the running water. “It’s been pretty chilly, lately. Best time to make it.”

Home made meals weren’t a common thing in her house hold after her mother passed away, she was too young to remember what her mom would make them, the way it tasted, the way it smelled. Her father wasn’t much of a cook, no, that would require patience and understanding along with maybe some sobriety. Her aunt, however, would cook wonderful meals. In that short span of her life where she got to spend time with her aunt, she remembered helping in the kitchen as much as she could, the way the spices blended in the pan that sizzled with a comforting aroma that Olivia could only faintly remember before it was ripped with the tips of her fingers when her father said she could no longer visit. That it was too distracting. That she needed to spend her summers training if she wanted to get anywhere with her Exy career, cutting off all ties with her aunt, cutting off the only thing that made her feel safe. 

 After that, it was up to Olivia to figure out the meal situation. Her father didn’t cook, but he also didn’t want her eating poorly. They had to figure out a plan, and that was that Olivia needed to learn the basics on how to cook. Chicken, vegetables, pasta. Everything she made was trail and error, and she still wouldn’t consider herself the best cook. But it was enough to get by, enough to please her father after all the shouting, grilled chicken breasts, lightly seasoned broccoli, it got the job done. Lord forbid they eat out, it always ended up with her father throwing a fit, fast food was like a taboo topic but she did manage to sneak a burger here and there when he was too far gone to catch her.   

It was the smell of something delicious that drew her to the kitchen, a rumble in her stomach to remind her that she needed something of substance and not just a bag of almonds. As she opened the door, she found Marley slicing up potatoes, and she leaned against the door frame, “It smells amazing-” She began before seeing the girl hit the blade to her skin, eyes widening in a sudden panic mode before rushing over. It was reflexive, she didn’t know Marley all too well, but the urge to take care of her fellow Foxes seemed to just run in her veins lately. Standing beside her as she ran her finger under the water, she laughed a little under her breath, “I mean, I don’t judge, maybe it’ll give it that extra kick it needs?” She offered, looking around for a first aid kit and opening it whenever it was located, taking out a bandage and some alcohol wipes. Walking back over, she held them out, “Hopefully it’s not too bad of a cut.”

Location: Fox Tower Roof Date: Thursday, March 21 Time: Night Status:(open)

The room is empty. Half of it is stripped bare. All of it is wrong. There should be a yellow comforter on the bed, a mess of video games and paper and pens on the desk, clothes in the dresser. It should not be empty. Lucas Ervine should be here. He isn’t.

Raph sits on the bed. The air here stills smells a bit like Lucas Ervine but that will fade in time Perhaps the ache will too. 

This shouldn’t come as a surprise. Raph should just be grateful he had the chance to be near him at all. He certainly didn’t deserve to be. People have always been impermanent fixtures in his life. Everyone leaves and they do not come back. Everyone except for Frank. This isn’t the first time he’s had this thought. He’s always known this at his core. But it is the first time this has hurt so much, cracking something inside of him and sliding it out of place, the broken edges of it grinding against his ribs whenever he tries to breathe. 

He leaves that place where nothing is right and the last trace of Lucas Ervine’s presence in his life is fading. The Fox Tower’s roof isn’t much of a hiding place but it’s close by and far off the ground and he can curl in the darkest corner furthest from the door and he can breathe through the awful, choking pain that’s filled his chest and he can try not to feel anything at all. 

He doesn’t notice when the Fox Tower door slides open.

The roof was one of her favorite places to be, open space, endless stretches of sky, it was a safe haven for her of sorts. Olivia had been quiet, per usual, after the loss they had last week. She didn’t do well when her hopes were high only to get shot down, but they weren’t out for the count yet, that was all she had to cling onto, knuckles white as she willed herself not to jump off the deep end of doubt. So she took the telescope she’d gotten for Christmas from her Secret Santana, which still blew her mind someone got her something so nice and personal, and made her way to the roof.

There was always a 50/50 chance of there being someone up her already, or of someone joining her if it wasn’t occupied, and when she opened the door she thought she was alone as she set up her little telescope. But that wasn’t the case as she glanced to her right to see a large figure curled up in a ball of sorts. Squinting to see in the moonlit night, she noticed it was Raph, which made her brows raise in surprise. That wasn’t a position she’d ever thought she’d see him in, vulnerable, almost....small. Of course not literally though, the guy was a tank, solid, but small in a sense of presence. 

Location: Sweetie’s Date: March 16 Time: 8:09pm Open

Sweetie’s was always a welcome comfort for Caleb. The promise of cracker dust to take the edge off was never something he would take for granted and he went there seeking the same, familiar warmth he found in the bright decor and ice cream. The loss of the game had him reeling, though not as bad as some of the others on the team. He felt numb to this one, probably to do with his sitting on the roof last night, reminding himself that he was meant to play exy. Whether they won against the Bruins, or lost, or even if they get to the championships only to lose, that he was still playing exy. It was what he was supposed to do with his life. Losing didn’t matter. 

Realistically, he had shoved down his true feelings on the loss, and the reminder that any loss would sting. He could still be playing exy and be grateful for it while being horrifically bitter that they didn’t win. That same numbness was why he had grabbed packets of crackers from the salad bar, leaving them on the table. When he’d ordered and gotten a pile of napkins, the cracker dust that was hidden underneath felt like a light at the end of the tunnel. It was the only fun drug that the rest of the team would be reasonably cool with, considering most had tried it themselves. His other vices … not so much. Caleb relished the little things. 

Coming here hadn’t been planned, more like he wandered and eventually found himself here, so it wasn’t a surprise that only one or two other people that he recognized lingered in the place. He wasn’t necessarily looking for company, but figured he’d offer. “Do you want a napkin?” he asked, or more specifically, do you want what’s underneath? Are you gonna join me? 

That lingering sting of that loss was still heavy on her shoulders, she didn’t want to get down on herself too much, but it sort of was like a wake up call. Olivia had been happily drifting along with the wins that kept getting, the talk of them as a serious team to compete, the idea of making some history again. Then the loss she shook back to earth, a heavy reminder that not everything went the way you wanted, but Jesus she wanted that championship more than anything. They might be down, but they weren’t out, and that was what was keeping her going. That was what pushed her to keep trying and not give up hope that this wasn’t over yet, that they still had a fighting chance. 

She found herself at Sweeties because she needed that greasy food pick me up, especially after killing herself with work outs. Treating herself wasn’t too common for the athlete, but every now and then didn’t hurt. So, in an oversized hoodie with the hood lingering on the top of her messy, chocolate locks, she walked to the diner and pushed the door open. Greeted instantly with the smell of fried foods, she breathed out a sigh of relief and licked her lips, glancing around for an open booth. 

That was when she saw Caleb, and opted to walk his direction, they always had pretty nice conversations and she was beginning to enjoy hanging around him so she stepped towards his booth before raising her brow when he looked up at her with that question. “A napkin??” She asked back, head falling to the side in a bit of confusion before her eyes widened in a bit of panic, “Oh my god...is there something on my face?” As far as her knowledge on what the question actually meant, she didn’t keep up with rumors around campus enough or know a damn thing about the secret exchange, so she just began to let her eyes dart around the room in hopes of a mirror.

Location: Palmetto Campus Date: March 8 Time: 2:39 a.m. (OPEN)

Emmett’s first stop once he’s free of the court is a local dive bar he found years ago. It’s not a Fox hang out and that’s exactly what he’s going for. It’s hard to be positive in the light of this loss. Hard to pretend like it doesn’t feel like a big blow. The Foxes were on a roll and losing tonight feels like it’s over. He knows it isn’t. Knows that they’re still ahead on points, but knowing that doesn’t soften the sting of the loss any. He’s two sheets to the wind before long. Blissfully numb to the sting of the loss. Blissfully numb to pretty much everything at this point. He’s not sure why he chooses to leave when he does. The bar patrons have been perfectly friendly, some even buying him pity drinks. But when the itch to go home had settled in his bones he’d simply followed it.

He doesn’t go to the tower though, that’s too stuffy, too….end of the night. He’s more content to wander the dark campus. Going everywhere and anywhere that strikes his fancy. He ends up somewhere near the tower anyways, flopping out on a familiar patch of grass. It’s cold, sure, but not cold enough to make Emmett change his mind about laying out under the stars. He could go for another drink he thinks as he pulls his hands behind his head, cushioning it against the spiky grass.

He’s half way to dozing off when he hears the footsteps. It takes more effort than he’d like to admit to roll over and open his eyes, flashing whoever it was a toothy grin that doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “What you doing out here so late? I kind of thought I had campus all to myself tonight.”

If people thought her getting upset over how poorly she played when they won was bad, it’s twice as hard whenever they lose this game. Especially with scouts in the stand, watching her and her teammates, expectations to the roof only to come crumbling down in a loss. The locker room was quiet that night as they all just wallowed in the sting, Olivia just yanked off her uniform, threw on her sweats and beelined out of the room without a word. She never talked much to begin with, but that night, no words were able to form to get past the lump in her throat. 

Unlike other Foxes, Olivia didn’t drown herself in vices to numb the pain of the loss, instead...she only put more pain on herself. Maybe she was becoming a little bit of a masochist, but there was something about pushing and pushing until you broke that she found comfort in. Reminded her she was human and not some Exy robot, that Exy didn’t control her whole existence, even though she knew it did. No one around here really knew her, they saw a great female Exy player that was reserved and kept to herself, that was it. But that’s because that’s all she allowed them to see. 

She wasn’t sure how long she’d been running, the stitch in her side dull now as she kept going and going, trying to run away from the demon on her back taunting the loss. It wasn’t until she noticed a seemingly lifeless body that she slowed down, eyes widening as she jogged over, only to see it was Emmett. Liv was about two seconds away from panicking, already out of breath, before he opened his eyes. “Thank God...” She managed to breathe out to herself before placing her hands on her hips, feeling a little light headed now that she’d stopped moving and she plopped down on the grass now to steady herself, “...is it bad I don’t even know what time it is? Where are we right now, exactly?” She panted out, wiping her hair back from her sweat slicked forehead as she took a moment to glance to the sky, unable to hide a little smile to the stars.

Emmett doesn’t even waste his breath to tell Olivia he’s okay with her hugging him. He’s an affectionate person when it’s on his terms…and he’d be lying if he said he hadn’t wanted to hug her. She looked so small and sad and out of place right now and Emmett hated that. He wraps her up and squeezes, speaking softly. “I don’t get a lot of things on my birthday either. Growing up it was just another day of the year. I didn’t even know the date for real until a few years ago.” One final squeeze and Emmett pulls away. He doesn’t want to overwhelm her and he doesn’t want to overwhelm himself. “But I wanted to make you something. So I did.” His smile is at full wattage again. “I’m glad you liked it so much. The art students thought it looked goofy.” Or maybe they thought he looked goofy, covered in paint from working on such a tiny surface. He picked up his messy creativity from his mother, he couldn’t help it.

“It’s a shame you’ll have to wait until I think of something new to paint. Or until I can convince the art professors to let me back in the art building.” He laughs. “Apparently I’m a messy individual who doesn’t even have the decency to pick art as his major so I need to leave.” He laughs again. “She’s a soft one though. I’ll worm my way back in within the month. If our exy schedule allows it.” And with championships looming so close his exy schedule barely left him with time for studying these days.

“But seriously, Liv. I’m glad you liked him. I’ll have to start brainstorming some ideas for the next one. I’ve used all the easy ones.” He winks at her. He’s already got a handful of ideas. But he doesn’t plan on doing much with them until summer time. Maybe a welcome back to campus gift or something. He’s got time to think of something.

He didn’t even answer her before he had pulled her into the embrace. It was warm, she felt protected, and like she was safe for the first time in a long time. There was this feeling that spread throughout her body, she couldn’t process it, couldn’t put her finger on it, and it ran all the way up to tighten at her throat as she listened to him speak. She was going to cry, she could feel it, because this wasn’t something she was used to. It wasn’t tears from being uncomfortable or afraid, more like tears that had been pent up and waiting to release the minute someone wrapped their arms around her. Feeling the tears roll down her cheeks, she wrapped her arms around his waist and buried her face into his shoulder to try and hide the fact she was probably making this awkward. Nodding slowly, she felt another squeeze and pulled back as she tilted her face down, wiping away under her eyes as she sighed, “I’m sorry, I don’t....you’re like the second person who I’ve ever hugged and I’m probably making this weird but, I really appreciate you Emmett.” She finally said, reaching out to lightly squeeze his arm, “And whenever your birthday comes around, expect something from me.” 

A smile spreads back onto her face as he speaks, pulling her arms to her sides as she glances up at him, “Those art students don’t know talent when they see it, it’s lovely.” Olivia assured him, shaking her head as she laughed a little under her breath at the news he wasn’t allowed back into the art building, “It’s okay, masterpieces take time, right? Plus they say there is always a little bit of chaos in art, that’s what makes it real.” She’d heard that on some show, she didn’t remember it, but it seemed legit. “We just have to become champions first, no big deal.” Olivia joked with a proud little smile dancing on the corner of her lips now as she scrunched her nose up at him.

“You really don’t have to do all that, Emmett. Seriously, you’re way too nice to me for my own good. I might have to keep you around a little longer.” It was a joke,but it held a slightly serious undertone. She enjoyed his company, he was always just this positive energy that always just brightened her day, she needed that when her mind went to a dark place. “Better yet, how about we work on something together?”

“Y’know, that’s fair.” Caleb was not the paragon of knowing your limits in any one aspect of life. Even the hours he spent at the gym slipped away faster than he would have liked, unable to keep hold onto them and actually keep track of time. Except when he didn’t want to be working out. Then it felt like eighty years had passed in the span of half an hour. “Honestly, I couldn’t sleep in if I tried.” And tried he had, especially lately. But his body still woke up minutes before the sun peaked above the horizon and he ended up on the roof with a cigarette, listening to music anyway. “No, I get it. Morning especially. It’s way more peaceful, no one else is up. Kind of feels like you have the world to yourself.” With his mom, simply existing wasn’t allowed and he certainly couldn’t get in her way. In the foster homes, he was encouraged to do what he wanted, within reason, and he found that he liked being able to just be. He was up with the sunrise every morning, watching it in silence before he got called down for breakfast. That followed him into college, except now, breakfast was a cigarette and maybe a cup of coffee. 

The rattle of the advil in the bottle made Caleb’s head hurt but he caught it with ease, turning it over in his hands. “It’s not fun,” he said, shaking his head. “And thanks, but I already took some up in my room and I’m pretty sure that if I take one more, my body is gonna have some shit to say about it.” He tossed the bottle back. “But take some while it’s out, cause you probably need it more than I do, losing track of time working out.” Once his own advil kicked in, he would be fine. “So, not a drinker? Do you have any vices or are you just the type of person that makes those of us Foxes who have our vices look bad?” he teased. 

It was like when she was pushing herself to her limits, everything else melting away. All she could focus on with the way her body shook with every push forward, the way sweat beaded down her temple, the way her heart would pound in her ears until her vision got blurry and she knew she had to sit down, only to see the time had flown by. “Glad to know I’m not alone in that aspect, early bird gets the worm right?” It was an old saying, but it rang true to her. Also she couldn’t sleep long before being startled awake by her own nightmares, so she’d rather truck through exhaustion than deal with her demons. Nodding slowly, her smile slowly spread along her lips, “Exactly, it’s just quiet, and peaceful. Plus if you wake up before the sun, you see some pretty great stars.” She admitted with a gentle shrug of her shoulders, pushing back the soreness in them as she rolled them back following the motion. “If I didn’t do Exy, I’d probably pursue a career in Astronomy.” It was the first time she ever said that out loud, and she glanced down at her hands with a smile to herself. 

“Who told you that?” Grant says. “Overuse injuries are the reason people slip up. They get hurt.” It’s uncomfortable, vulnerable, standing here with a bandaged knee to lecture Olivia about injuries. Grant’s sure he’s done everything right—he pushes himself hard when he needs to, but he rests when he can’t. He’s careful; he’s dedicated. And now he’s the one on crutches anyway.   This injury is random, a stroke of bad luck when the Foxes are doing so damn well, and he hates that. Maybe it isn’t for good, but maybe it is.

Like hell if he’ll let Olivia’s backwards rhetoric put her in this position too. Grant’s won’t pretend he never falls into the trap of playing and replaying a game, obsessing over every minute detail—but he saves it for the nights they lose, at least. Not when they’ve won. Not when they’ve won in a death match, and knocked out the team everyone else was rooting for, moving them further in the Championships than ever before.

“Sometimes it’s good to look back at your game and see where you can do better. Sometimes it’s just masochistic,” Grant says. “We won, and you set Sasha up for the goal that did it. You should be celebrating.” Grant shifts, adjusting the weight to his good leg. He won’t be able to stand here for much longer, but he also doesn’t want to collapse on the bench besides Olivia. If it’s masochistic for her to be here this morning, then it’s the same for Grant. It’d be a joke really: the captain in the gym when he can’t even stand on his own. What the hell is he going to achieve here? “Come to the continental breakfast instead. They’re serving it for a little while longer, and with this time change, I need twice as much coffee as normal.”

Her mouth snaps shut out of embarrassment, how stupid of her to complain to Grant when he is actually injured, when he’s missing out on wins and games and here she is being completely and utterly selfish as he pointed out overdoing it can get yourself seriously hurt. Just like he was. Nodding slowly, she keeps her gaze on her hands, why does she feel like she’s about to cry? So she swallowed down the lump in her throat, shrugging her strong shoulders before speaking, “Uh....m-my dad did.” If there’s one person Olivia could be honest with, it’s Grant. She never vocally spoke to him about what happened to her, but he knew all too well of her nightmares, 

Olivia had always been tough on her self, a girl who always said what if too often in her own head, but it was only because that’s how she was raised. She could play an amazing game but her father on the car ride home would hound her about one little slip up, how she could’ve done this better, how she could’ve made this move different. It was like he was living through her, trying to make up for the many mistakes in his career. So here she was, obsessing over the fact she let two balls get away from her. That it wasn’t a landslide win when it very well could’ve been, and she put the blame on her shoulders as usual.

Her eyes finally drifted from where she was messing with her hands to Grant, her eyes almost shimmering as he spoke. He certainly was an amazing captain, trying to remind her that she didn’t suck, trying to raise her spirits. She could tell he cared, and she gave him another nod, “Yeah, I guess your right...” Liv murmured, pursing her lips together as she tucked her bandages into her bag, scooting over because she noticed the strain in his brows from standing there on a hurt leg. “I just...I want every time I’m on the court to play the best that I can and last night just, I didn’t. And I feel like everyone from my old school is watching, my dad is always watching-” Her words get stuck in her throat and she pushes up to her feet at the mention of something to eat, hell, she didn’t remember the last time she ate something. “Okay.” She agreed softly, hitching her gym bag over her shoulder with a little knit of her brows at the soreness in her body. “And Grant, thank you....for everything. You’re like, the only person who, gets me on a little more personal level. I appreciate you, a lot.”

The only reason Emmett even knows his birthday is because his grandmother had insisted on celebrating it in the years he’d lived with her. Bought him a cake, gotten him presents, the whole she-bang. His parents might’ve given him a hug. If they’d remembered at all. He’d never understood why people got so bent up about birthdays, at least until he’d gotten his first non-grandmother present. It had come as a surprise. A poorly wrapped little square presented to him after a practice one day. It was just some new pads and a goofy card…but Emmett had been so overwhelmed that he’d ended up crying the whole walk home. He wore those pads until they fell apart and he still had that card. It was old and worn, held together with more tape than actual card, but it meant the world to him. He still wasn’t big on birthdays, he doubted he ever would be…but he knew how it felt to get something, even if it was a goofy painting of a fox in a party hat.

After Olivia’s reaction to her Christmas gift Emmett knew exactly what he’d get her for her birthday. It was just a matter of figuring out when that was. He didn’t have a Facebook to tell him and he knew if he asked around word might get back to Olivia and he didn’t want that. It was purely luck when he’d learned it…and purely luck that he hadn’t missed it. The little fox wasn’t his best work but he didn’t have a lot of time to trouble shoot it. He was a little crooked, if you knew what to look for, but Emmett liked him. He hoped Olivia would too. 

He wrapped it in pain paper, scribbling ridiculous little birthday doodles all over it. He left it just outside her door, pretty convinced she’d prefer him not be there. He hadn’t quite expected her to show up when she did. He shot her a mega-watt grin as she walked up next to him. “It was your birthday. You’re supposed to get a gift or two on your birthday right?” He shrugs and winks at her. “That’s my little secret, Liv. And I never tell my secrets.”

It’d certainly caught her by surprise, hell, some years she woke up and completely forgot it was her birthday all together until someone had somehow found out or the influx of messages from her father. It was the latter this year, waking up to about 15 missed calls and 20 something texts saying how much he loved her, how sorry he was, how he missed his little girl and wanted to spend her special day with her. It was a load of crap. He never tried or cared this much until the Foxes picked up steam, proving that they were in fact a force to be reckoned with. Before then he’d treated her like he always had, with an iron fist, telling her to push harder, that pain was all in your head and was temporary. When she left Penn State for Palmetto, he got even worse, telling her that she was fabricating a story and ruining her shot. Well, she was proving him wrong, the Foxes were kicking ass and she couldn’t have been prouder or happier to shove his face into it with a cold shoulder.

Zia had gotten her a present once, it was tickets to a show in the city, she remembered the way the theater smelled, the way the dancers on stage came to life, the way the singers poured their soul into the performance. It was how she felt when she was on the court, like she was untouchable. Other than that, the last time she had someone give her a present let alone celebrate the day she was born was when she was eleven. That was it. She tried that party in High School and was beyond embarrassed for even giving it a shot, she still remembered her father’s ‘I told you so’s’. But even then, no one had hand made her anything, not like Emmett had. It made her feel a warm in her chest, and she swallowed it down with a small smile, unable to know anything about what it meant. 

Then he’s smiling at her with an expression that only made her mirror a wide toothed grin back to him, an expression she certainly didn’t dawn too often. “Oh, uh, yeah.....I guess, right?” It was clear she was out of her element, and she took a deep breath before nodding slowly, hearing the nickname that reminded her of Zia. Maybe Emmett could become a close friend, so far he’d given her no reason to steer the other direction. “I just, I don’t really have people....er, give me things on my birthday. Like, it’s just, new to me. Sorry, I’m being weird.” And now she’s blushing as she rubbed the back of her neck and breathed out,”What I’m trying to say is...thank you. Seriously.” She paused, unsure of what to do next but her body is telling her to hug him, which is odd considering physical touch isn’t her favorite thing. “Can I, uh, hug you?” Her tone was gentle, soft as she avoided eye contact and questioned more of the floor than the boy in front of her.

She offered a soft smile and a chuckle, trying to ease Olivia’s embarrassment. “I was definitely a wreck back in high school when I forgot to buy enough ice packs for the week.” Always half-truths. Little pieces of who she was slipping to sound, though they wouldn’t complete the whole picture. No one needed to know that she debated staying in the ice forever some nights, staring at the ceiling and trying to succumb to that numbness.

Swallowing, she stretched herself, legs sprawling forward and her fingertips reaching, reaching, reaching. “Thanks, though, for the compliment. Hopefully Wymack agrees.” Licking her lips, she added, “You were a firestorm as always. You’ll be as strong of a blaze on the field too when the game arrives.”

Alis was her roommate, but still, there was always a bundle of nerves deep in the girl’s chest whenever she spoke to people. Even if said people were one that she saw almost on a daily basis. Still, the smile somewhat put her at ease as she nodded, “Yeah, tell me about it. I had those refreezable ones, totally saved my life after a tough day on the court.” Or whenever her dad pushed her way too hard, figuratively and literally, but she kept that to herself. Leaning back against the lockers, she watched the dark haired girl with a raise of her brows, noting the way she stretched out. From experience, nothing felt better after pushing yourself then a nice stretch, and she absentmindedly found herself pushing her shoulders back.

A small smile creeped onto her lips as she nodded, “I’m sure he will, it’s not hard to see you have talent. But, I might be biased because we room together.” It was her attempt at a joke, and she kept the smile on her lips to prove it. “I hope so, we’re so close I can practically taste everyone eating their own words of doubt against us.” The Foxes had something to prove, and they were doing it, Olivia couldn’t have been prouder in her decision to switch teams, especially when everyone was calling her crazy to leave Penn State to come to Palmetto. It was better for her, and obviously, better for the Foxes as well. “Imagine if we like...actually win it all?” It was dreamy almost, the tone for voice took for a second before clearing her throat and shifting her weight between her feet.

Lucas is very tired. He’d had a little too much fun the previous night, celebrating to the point where he woke up with very little memory of the night. He wasn’t even sure if he’d spent time with anyone–although he wouldn’t be surprised if he just spent the night partying by himself. Lucas Ervine, party of one!

A quick shower in the morning didn’t make him feel good. The advil wasn’t kicking in. And to top it off, Lucas had other things to worry about. Even though he’d taken a shower, Lucas needed something to help make himself feel better so he opted for going for a run. It was a bit chilly in the brisk morning and Lucas had to be careful not to lose his way in the streets. By the time he did make it back to the hotel, he was finally starting to feel better.

Not quite ready yet to call it quits just yet, Lucas went to find the gym. He wasn’t sure how big it was but he hoped that it had enough equipment to at least give him a decent workout before everyone else started to wake up and they would have to head out.

“Oh, hey!” Lucas greeted Olivia when he’d walked in and spotted her. “Don’t worry about it, I just came in for a few more minutes of a workout. I went running but I still have all this pent up energy and I need this hangover to go away.” Lucas moved over toward the punching bag. “Getting some good punches in?”

There was always a part of her that longed to let go the way the other Foxes were able to do, to numb down that fear inside of her and just be free, but it had it’s claws sunk deep into her chest every time she tried. Halloween night was the only time she’d done so, and she woke up the next morning with her stomach in ruins and a pounding in her head that didn’t cease to stop until the late afternoon. She didn’t know how people did that regularly, how her father did it every day, but maybe he just kept drinking to avoid the uncomfortable feeling, never sober enough to feel the real world creep back in and push down on his shoulders.

Her anxiety never let up, constantly choking her even when nothing was wrong. This morning was shining proof of that, even after a win, she wasn’t satisfied with her performance. Too many slip ups, and this close to the championship, it was unacceptable in her eyes. No one else probably even noticed, too euphoric from the win to note anything but just that; they won. Still, here she was in the gym, punishing her already achy body. At least the company who joined her was one that she was semi-comfortable around, Lucas Ervine. He’d always been nice to her, encouraging, supportive, and his energy was infectious to be around. So she offered a small smile in his direction as she tucked some wild, stray hairs behind her ear with a slow exhale while she caught her breath. 

“Always good to start the day off on the right foot, get those endorphins flowing and what not...” Olivia offered with a gentle shrug, plopping down on the bench and slowly unwrapping her knuckles, feeling the release of tension already as she raised a brow, glancing between him and the bag now. “Oh, uh, yeah....I did. I don’t even know how long I was in here going at it, to be honest.” She admitted sheepishly, nibbling on the inside of her cheek as she clenched and unclenched her hand a few times. “But I should probably call it quits now, get some sort of cat nap in or whatever. I think I might’ve slept a total of three hours last night.”

         Unlike a lot of her teammates, after a while, the party at Leo’s was too much and she had no real interest in going around Vegas alone—and didn’t feel like disturbing the others who were having a good time at Leo’s. So she ended up calling it an early night, happy to get rest before the teams headed back to Palmetto. She didn’t have any homework to do after she had gotten back, but she put on a movie to spend the rest of the night resting because that sounded more enjoyable than anything else. Even if it was boring compared to other people’s nights. McKenna hadn’t meant to interrupt Olivia’s workout. Honestly, she would leave if Olivia asked her to. She was trying to get something done this morning that was productive even if she was pretty sure that running on a treadmill wasn’t that productive. McKenna wondered how long the Fox had been up—it seemed as if she had been there for a long time already. And the response confirmed it. McKenna smiled, kind of forcefully at Olivia. “Oh, okay. And maybe you should rest,” she said to the other. McKenna knew that some people didn’t know their limits, especially when they were upset with themselves, which it seemed as if Olivia was.

         “I mean yeah, but if you wanted to be alone, I wouldn’t stop you. Sometimes it’s easier to not feel watched by other people.” Not that the Foxes and Vixens had that luxury when it seemed as if everything they did, even something in the private of their own living quarters was known by someone—specifically Fox Watch, but that was a different point. “You don’t want to over do it,” she blonde agreed, hopping up on the treadmill and looking at the buttons. “I mean, we cheer the whole time and have our halftime routine, but it isn’t anything compared to the stuff you all do on court. I can’t imagine having the energy to even box the next day.” Although Olivia’s comment about playing like shit the night before confirmed McKenna’s suspicions that Olivia was one of those people that were way too tough on themselves. “I don’t think you played crappy,” she responded, pressing a button and beginning to jog in place as a warm up. Then again, what did she know about Exy other than what she picked up over the last semester and a half by watching? She wasn’t an expert what-so-ever, and she never tried to claim that she was. “You did win,” the Vixen pointed out.

Those fifteen minutes at the party were more than enough for her, the smell of alcohol albeit a little too familiar for her liking, making her stomach churn at just the mere scent of it. It was easy to slip out unnoticed when you were Olivia Finch, a girl who stayed in the shadows, only to step out into the sun the minute her feet touched the court. It was like when she played, she was an entirely different being. Aggressive, intense, powerful. But then the gear came off, her over szed hoodie slipped on, and she was reserved and quiet as she picked apart every single move she made during a game. Critical in her playing, she always had been, regretting certain things, wishing that she could’ve done this differently or that with more power. It was hard to be pleased with yourself when the looming voice of her father was constantly in her head, taunting her that she could do better, pushing her even when he wasn’t around. “Yeah, I probably should...” She breathed out through a hollow laugh, readjusting the ponytail that was now messy and loose atop of her head, plopping down on the bench with a small sigh as she glanced over at the blonde. Mckenna had always been someone that Olivia thought was naturally beautiful, golden hair like Rapunzel which was her favorite fairytale, bright blue eyes like the ocean, even this early in the morning she wore a nice smile. It was refreshing in a way, and she offered a small smile back, “I don’t mind, really. It’s big crowds that intimidate me, I did press once and thought I was going to hurl the whole time.” Olivia admitted sheepishly as she shrugged her strong shoulders, unwrapping her other hand now.

“Yeah, Grant would be pissed, right before the big games that are basically do or die. I’ll take your advice and wrap it up.” She offered with a little nod, finishing the unwrapping and tucking the bandages into her bag, glancing over at the blonde again as she toyed with the machine, “I wish we could see the halftime shows, I try and sneak peeks but, usually we are in the locker room getting pep talks or whatever.” Liv admitted with a small smile shot to Mckenna, because it was the truth. She could never be a cheerleader, she would be so out of her elemet being pepping and happy when she was always so emotionally drained. But watching it was nice, filled her with joy to see other energy put into routines practiced to the T. “Your body just sort of gets used to it, I guess. I’ve been doing Exy since I could pick up a racquet it feels like.” Olivia explained easily, nibbling at the inside of her cheek as she picked at her cuticles, a nasty habit that she couldn’t seem to shake. Pursing her lips together at the girl’s compliment, she shrugged, “I could’ve played way better, I need to focus more.” She muttered, letting out a little sigh before craning her neck to the side and nodding, “We did, that’s the important part. I just wish I could’ve done more to help with the win. Make it a landslide and not a death match, ya know?” She had always been to hard on herself, expectations always sky high because that’s how she was built, programmed almost to give it her all and never settle for ‘just winning’.