A Leap of Faith | Rated G | Jackie / Shauna, Nat / Shauna | Part 4 of Odds and Ends series | Word count: 2,006 Tags: One Shot, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, POV Shauna Shipman, Pre-Plane Crash (Yellowjackets), Soccer, Teen Timeline (Yellowjackets) --- Shauna Shipman knew two things with ironclad certainty: soccer made sense and love did not. In the euphoric aftermath of their victory, the Yellowjackets come together for a celebratory group photo. ---

Shauna Shipman knew two things with ironclad certainty: soccer made sense and love did not.

On the field, she understood her role with crystalline clarity. Center midfielder, the beating heart of the team’s 4-4-2 formation. Always in motion, Shauna lived to control the middle of the field, to stifle the opposition’s attacks and spring her own forwards free. It was a 90-minute high-wire act of balance and precision, but one she’d performed since forever.

The grass stains on her knees and the burning in her lungs after a hard sprint felt more real than any of the insipid love songs crooning from mall speakers or her car radio. Those sugary melodies sang of love as some aspirational prize, all dramatic professions and happily ever afters wrapped in a tidy bow.

But Shauna had seen what lay beneath the shiny plastic veneer of suburbia. The hairline fractures and rotting foundations behind every picket fence smile, the furious silences stretching between her parents louder than any shouted argument. Love was a con, she’d decided long ago. An unstable isotope, decaying from the moment it was formed.

On the soccer field, at least, the rules stayed blessedly constant. The comforting geometry of the penalty box, the reliable rhythm of a well-executed give-and-go. Shauna could chart her course on muscle memory alone, Jackie always exactly where she needed to be to receive the pass, Lottie reliably hugging the touchline, Van an unyielding sentinel in goal. There were no hidden traps waiting to trip her up, just the black and white certainty of the scoreboard when the final whistle blew.

Maybe that was why she kept coming back year after year, despite the burning in her thighs and the way her heart felt like it might pound out of her chest. Because for 90 minutes (and maybe a handful more if Tai got her way), Shauna’s world made sense. On the field she was pure kinetic energy, the simple Newtonian physics of a body in motion. Soccer stripped her life down to the bare essentials: get ball, keep ball, put ball in net. Lather, rinse, repeat.

No hidden agendas, no false promises. Just 21 other girls and 2 goals and 1 ball, the elegant simplicity of action and reaction. The scoreboard never lied.

But love? Love was a four-letter word Shauna had long ago excised from her vocabulary. Just like all those other rose-tinted myths crammed down her throat since before she could walk. Prince Charming and happily ever afters and forevers that lasted until someone better came along or the going got tough or dad’s secretary bent over in a short enough skirt.

No, Shauna didn’t put much stock in forevers those days. She’d stick to 90 minutes instead, to the bruises and turf burns and shouts of her own name, the blessedly finite sprint from kickoff to final whistle.

That was enough for her. It had to be.

Except . . . somewhere in the sweat and the struggle and the desperate gasps for air, there was another four-letter word Shauna couldn’t quite dislodge. One that pulsed in time with her racing heart as she tracked Jackie’s darting runs, that rose in her throat like a cheer when Nat nutmegged a hapless defender. It was tangled and treacherous as a vine climbing towards the sun, but just as determined to take root.

And maybe, Shauna thought as Lottie sent a cross arcing her way and Jackie screamed for the ball, it wasn’t that different from soccer after all. Maybe love didn’t make sense and it didn’t follow rules and it sure as hell didn’t come with any guarantees.

But still she found herself leaning into it all the same, caught in its inexorable pull as surely as a satellite orbiting a star. All she could do was hold on tight, surrender to gravity, and pray the ride wouldn’t burn her up on re-entry.

So she did the only thing that had ever made sense. Shauna trapped the ball on her chest, looked up, and launched it into space.

And then?

She ran.

The referee’s whistle pierced through the clamor of the crowd, its shrill note heralding the end of the match. Shauna glanced up at the scoreboard, the numbers emblazoned there taking a moment to register through the haze of exhaustion: Wiskayok 3, Red Bank 1. They’d done it. They’d won the county championship.

Before the reality could fully sink in, Jackie’s arms were around her, the force of the hug nearly lifting Shauna off her feet. “We did it, Shauna! We fucking did it!” Jackie’s voice was hoarse from shouting, her breath hot against Shauna’s ear.

Shauna laughed, a giddy, breathless sound, and returned the embrace just as fiercely. Around them, the rest of the team converged in a tangle of sweaty limbs and elated shouts, the exhaustion of the hard-fought game momentarily forgotten in the rush of triumph. They jumped up and down, a pulsing mass of blue and yellow, until the need for air forced them apart.

As the initial euphoria began to ebb, Jackie disentangled herself from the group, her eyes sparkling with an idea. “Someone grab a camera!”

The suggestion was met with enthusiastic agreement, and the team began to assemble in front of the net, jostling each other good-naturedly as they jockeyed for position. Tai playfully shoved Van, who, in a burst of her usual theatrics, flopped onto the grass in front of everyone, striking a pose on her side with the ball resting against her stomach. Shauna found herself front and center, Jackie’s arm slung comfortably around her shoulders, the weight of it both familiar and thrilling.

“Misty! Get in here!” Nat called out, pale hands waving enthusiastically at their equipment manager from her spot between Shauna and Akilah. Misty, her face flushed with a mixture of shyness and exertion, ducked her head but scurried over to join the lineup beside Akilah.

Coach Scott surveyed the group, a rare smile softening his usually stern features. “Alright, everyone squeeze in!” He waved them closer, his eyes assessing the composition. “Misty, turn a bit to your left, please.”

As the team shuffled and compressed, Shauna became acutely aware of Nat’s presence to her right, the small space between them crackling with the residual energy of the game. Lottie, sitting on one knee in the front row, muttered something about Nat’s Italian heritage that Shauna didn’t quite catch, but it made Nat grin and raise her hand in a pinch gesture. Nat’s eyes caught Shauna’s, a fleeting moment of shared amusement, and Shauna felt an answering smile tug at her lips, charmed by the shy dimple that appeared on Nat’s cheek.

Then Jackie was adjusting her pose, her fingers brushing lightly against the 6 emblazoned on Shauna’s jersey, and suddenly Shauna’s focus narrowed to that single point of contact. The casual intimacy of the touch, the way Jackie’s hand lingered just a beat longer than necessary, made Shauna’s heart stutter in her chest, a familiar yet always surprising reaction.

It was always like this with Jackie - a constant push and pull, an undercurrent of something Shauna couldn’t quite name. Or maybe she could, but putting a label on it meant acknowledging the enormity of what she felt, the depth of her longing.

It was easier to focus on soccer, on the simplicity of the game. Pass, shoot, score. Cause and effect. Neat lines and clear objectives.

Not like the messy tangle of emotions that surfaced every time Jackie hugged her just a little too tight or fixed her with that soft, secret smile that seemed reserved only for Shauna.

“Okay, on three! One, two . . . ”

Shauna turned back to the camera, trying to school her features into something resembling a normal smile. Jackie’s arm tightened around her, pulling her close. The heat of her body, the citrusy scent of her shampoo beneath the sweat and grass, was dizzying.

“Three!” The shutter clicked, capturing the moment for posterity. The team erupted into cheers again, a jubilant mass of blue and yellow, when Laura Lee’s voice cut through the noise, “Let’s take a moment to give thanks.”

A few good-natured groans met her suggestion, but the team obediently formed a loose circle, arms slung around each other’s shoulders. Shauna found herself between Jackie and Nat, the warmth of their bodies bracketing her own.

Laura Lee began to speak, her voice steady and clear. “Dear Lord, we thank you for the strength and unity you’ve given us today. May we always remember the bonds we share, both on and off the field. Amen.”

A chorus of “Amen” echoed around the circle, some more enthusiastic than others. As Shauna murmured the word, she felt Jackie’s hand find hers, their fingers intertwining with practiced ease. On her other side, another hand brushed against hers, tentative but unmistakable.

“Alright, ladies, line up! Time for the handshake.”

Soccer was simple. Straightforward. You gave everything you had for ninety minutes, left it all on the field. There was a strange sort of peace in that single-minded focus, in surrendering to the flow of the game. The field was a world unto itself, a place where the only things that mattered were the ball at your feet and the teammates by your side.

But as the last hand was shaken and the teams began to drift apart, reality started to creep back in. And in the stillness that followed, in the quiet of the locker room or the hush of the bus ride home, Shauna’s thoughts always circled back to Jackie.

Sweet, stubborn, magnetic Jackie. Her best friend, her captain, the axis around which Shauna’s world turned. The one constant in a life that often felt like shifting sands beneath her feet.

It terrified Shauna sometimes, the depth of her feelings. The way her heart seized at the mere brush of Jackie’s hand, the way her skin tingled at the sound of her laugh. It was too much, too big, too all-consuming. A force as powerful and unpredictable as a free kick bending around a wall of defenders.

But maybe that was okay.

Maybe love wasn’t meant to make sense. Maybe it was supposed to be messy and confusing and utterly terrifying. Maybe that’s what made it so exhilarating, so worth chasing despite the risk of fumbling.

After all, wasn’t that the beauty of soccer? The unpredictability of it, the way the game could pivot on a dime? One moment you’re on the defensive, scrambling to protect your goal. The next, you’re surging forward, the ball dancing at your feet, the world blurring around you as you race towards the opposite end of the field.

It hadn’t always been this way for Shauna. There was a time when soccer was just another obligation, another box to check off on the endless list of expectations. But somewhere along the way, something had shifted.

And now, as she stood on the precipice of something new and terrifying and exciting, she couldn’t help but draw parallels between the two.

Love, Shauna was starting to realize, was not so different from soccer. It was a series of unexpected twists and turns, of setbacks and breakthroughs. It was the thrill of the unknown, the exhilaration of taking a leap of faith, of putting your heart on the line for something - for someone - that could change everything.

It was worth the risk of getting hurt, worth the uncertainty that came with stepping into uncharted territory. Because the alternative - a life without Jackie, without this wild, heart-pounding, breath-stealing feeling - was unimaginable.

Love and soccer. One intangible and elusive, the other solid and grounded. But at their core, they were two sides of the same coin, each a reflection of the other. Both demanding everything you had, both offering the chance at something extraordinary. The twin forces that kept her running, kept her chasing after dreams both on and off the field.

Ahoy! Captain Natalie's sixth birthday brings an unexpected treasure - her first crew member with a pirate-perfect name, Shauna Shipman. ---

It was many and many a year ago,

   In a kingdom by the sea,

That a maiden there lived whom you may know

   By the name of Annabel Lee;

And this maiden she lived with no other thought

   Than to love and be loved by me.

I was a child and she was a child,

   In this kingdom by the sea,

But we loved with a love that was more than love—

   I and my Annabel Lee—

With a love that the wingèd seraphs of Heaven

   Coveted her and me.

Annabel Lee

BY EDGAR ALLAN POE

The sunshine, like a playful puppy, bounced through the curtains, waking Natalie much earlier than usual. Six! Today was her sixth birthday, and the excitement wiggled through her faster than a puppy’s tail.

Out of bed she sprung, unable to hold back a giant grin. Today was for adventures, birthday cake, and maybe even a bit of pirate treasure! As soon as Daddy left for work, Mom helped Natalie into her favorite dress. It was pink, fluffy, and proclaimed to be the official “birthday dress” despite getting a little snug around the middle. Birthday magic, after all, could make anything fit just right.

With Mom braiding her hair into two neat pigtails, Natalie hatched a secret plan. Under her bed, hidden like buried pirate gold, lay a special marker. Just in case any scallywags or grumpy sea monsters crossed her path, she’d be ready. With Mom’s back turned, Natalie slipped it into her trusty boots. (Thankfully, Mom let her wear these instead of the fancy shoes Nonna gave her last year, which surely wouldn’t fit anymore by now anyway.)

Out the door they went, Natalie bouncing with questions about their surprise destination. But Mom kept her lips sealed, just a smile and secret in her eyes. Soon, a giant yellow bus lumbered up, its brakes squeaking like a friendly monster. Holding Mom’s hand tight, Natalie climbed aboard and raced for the best window seat.  She watched with wonder as the trees, then the houses rolled on by, trying to guess where they could be headed.

Then, a splash of red appeared in the distance - “Friendly,” it announced in big, curvy letters. Natalie knew instantly this was it! The perfect place, with the perfect name, to make new friends on her special day. As the bus stopped, she pressed her nose against the window, taking it all in with big round eyes. The building was so bright and welcoming, with sundaes and popsicles on display in the windows. Grabbing Mom’s hand, Natalie tugged with all her might. “Come on, come on!” she squealed, barely able to contain her excitement.

Mom led Natalie to a cozy corner booth by the window. The birthday girl bounced on the plush red seat, her bright eyes flitting around like butterflies, taking in everything at once. Then, a flash of pink in a tall, frosty glass caught her attention - it matched her dress perfectly!

“Oh please, Mom, please!” Natalie pleaded. With one word of permission, she practically vibrated with joy. The nice lady in a red uniform called it a strawberry free ball with a wink, and Natalie giggled at the silly name.

When the cold, sweet drink arrived, Natalie initially wrinkled her nose after the first sip. But soon, a wide grin spread across her face as the delicious taste took over. A basket of fries appeared too, but since Mom hadn’t eaten breakfast, she knew those were off-limits.

As Natalie happily slurped on her shake, a friendly-looking man stopped by their table. He laughed, saying, “My, how you’ve grown, Natalie!” His crinkly eyes reminded her of her Nonno, but soon, the grown-up conversation started to sound like a mumble jumble in her ears.

Letting her gaze wander across the busy diner, Natalie spied a group of girls who looked to be her age, playing with dolls and tiny figures. All except one. A girl with brown hair sat slightly apart, gently rolling a bright red toy truck back and forth on the table, seemingly lost in her own world.

Before Natalie could look away, the truck girl suddenly glanced up and caught her peeking! Their eyes locked, but instead of hiding, the girl gave a big, toothy grin and yelled out a playful “Vroom vroom!” in a funny voice. Delighted, Natalie couldn’t help but grin back just as wide. Her heart thumped excitedly, and a fun idea popped into her head.

With a gentle but insistent tug on her mother’s sleeve, Natalie interrupted the boring grown-up talk. “Can I pleeease go play with the girls, Mom?” she begged, hopeful as can be. Mom, slightly distracted, gave a quick, absentminded nod without fully looking at Natalie. That was all the permission she needed!

She scooted out of the booth like a rocket and skipped towards the other table, light as a fairy. Butterflies fluttered in her tummy at the thought of making new friends. But before she reached them, Natalie remembered something special hidden in her boot - her trusty marker!

Sneaking out of sight, she discreetly pulled the marker out and carefully drew a twirly mustache above her lip. Then with her tongue peeking out in concentration, she added a connecting line between her eyebrows for good measure.

Giggling naughtily to herself, Natalie tucked the marker back into her boot for safekeeping. Then, with her secret identity in place, she skipped the rest of the way over to the table.

“Hello!” said little Natalie.

“Hello,” the doll girls greeted back, eyeing her up and down. “What’s that on your face?” asked the tall girl, stifling a giggle behind her hand.

“It’s my secret pirate disguise for my birthday,” Natalie declared, puffing out her chest a little.

“Pirates are for boys,” sneered another girl, her doll’s fancy gown flowing to the table. The other girls tittered and Natalie felt a heat rise to her cheeks.

Just then, the truck girl caught her eye, flashing Natalie a warm smile. Oblivious to the teasing, she happily scooted her toy truck closer to Natalie in a friendly invitation.

Natalie felt suddenly self-conscious under the mix of stares all around. “Um . . . wanna play over there?” she asked the friendly girl softly. The girl nodded eagerly, eyes big and brown as she took Natalie’s hand. Laughing, the two girls hurried off together to a vacant table just emptied out for them.

“I’m Natalie!” she introduced herself, settling down opposite the friendly girl in the comfy booth.

“I’m Shauna Shipman! See? My first and last name both start with S!” Shauna exclaimed, bouncing excitedly in her seat.

Natalie’s eyes lit up at this interesting fact. “Oh wow, that sounds like a pirate’s name!” She pictured Shauna with a majestic pirate hat and an eyepatch, captain of the biggest ship she’d ever seen.

Shauna giggled, her nose crinkling. “Silly! Do you have a pirate name, Captain Natalie?” she asked, rolling the red fire truck towards Natalie across the table.

Natalie, heart swelling at the unexpected title, felt a blush creep up her cheeks, spreading a warmth across her face that mirrored the joy in her eyes. But the smile faltered the moment she glanced back at the girls with dolls, their giggles suddenly sounding harsh. “I, um, well . . . ” she mumbled, fiddling with her dress strap, “they said girls can’t be pirates.”

But her new friend Shauna made a loud, dismissive ‘pfft’ sound, waving her small hand through the air. She leaned forward with an eager twinkle in her eye. “My mommy and daddy told me girls can be firefighters or pirates or anything they wanna be when they grow up!”

Natalie’s eyes had gone big at this wonderful news and she bounced a little in her seat. “Anything?” Maybe she could be a pirate after all!

Shauna bounced too and nodded firmly, beaming with joy. “Mhm! So you gotta pick the coolest pirate name ever, just like mine!”

A big smile lit up Natalie’s face. She tapped her chin like the pirates do in thought. “Okay!” she said, her voice extra loud and important. “My pirate name is . . . Captain Blackboots! Because, well, look!” she exclaimed, lifting one leg high to show off her black boot.

Shauna giggled, her cheeks turning pink.  “I like your name better! Can I call you Captain Nat-Nat?”

Natalie laughed at the silly nickname. It wasn’t quite as cool as Captain Blackboots, but it did sound friendly. “Okay,” she agreed, nodding with a grin.

“Nice to meet you, Captain Nat-Nat!” Shauna said with a smile, holding out her hand. “I’m Fire Chief Shauna!”

“Fire Chief Shauna?” Natalie repeated, her eyes wide. “That’s awesome!” She shook Shauna’s outstretched hand and the grin on their faces grew even wider. “Hey, do you wanna be on my pirate ship?”

“Hmm, can I drive the ship?”

“Sure, you can be captain too! We can take turns! Yo ho ho!” Natalie laughed, trying to sound like a pirate, just like her Nonno used to. “Do you know how to talk like a pirate, Fire Chief Shauna?”

Shauna shook her head.

“I’ll teach you! When the captain says something, you say ‘Aye, aye, Captain!’”

“Aye aye, Captain!” Shauna exclaimed, mimicking Natalie with a wide grin.

Suddenly, Natalie stood up on the booth, her arms stretched out for balance. “Look, Chief Shauna, I’m walking the plank!” she yelled, pretending to stumble across the wobbly seat. “Watch out for the scary sharks!”

Seeing Natalie pretend to fall into the water, Shauna burst into giggles. Soon, both girls were laughing so hard their bellies hurt and Natalie’s cheeks felt like they might burst from smiling so much. Who cared what those silly girls thought anyway? Today was her birthday, and on her birthday, she could be anything her heart desired, anything at all!

The more they played, the more Natalie realized Shauna wasn’t like other kids. Normally, kids poked fun at her mismatched clothes or teased her cardboard-sword battles against sea monsters. But Shauna, even when faced with the silly, mustached Natalie, greeted her with a warm smile.

Shauna was funny, too, in her own special way. Instead of telling mean jokes like other kids do, Shauna brought her toys to life with silly voices and crazy stories. The leftover fries on their table weren’t just fries anymore - they were a bunch of scared sailors clinging to a tiny raft. Suddenly, Shauna’s red fire truck would come zooming in, siren wailing with her best fire truck noises, to save the day. “Rescue mission!” she’d shout, scooping up the survivor fries into the truck bed with a grin.

But the fun didn’t stop there. Shauna would grab a straw and turn it into a helicopter, making a funny whirring sound with her mouth. The straw-copter would swoop down to whisk the remaining fries away to safety, and Natalie would laugh and laugh. Shauna’s imagination turned ordinary things into amazing adventures, and Natalie loved every minute of it.

Sharing also came easy to Shauna. The minute Natalie looked at the fire truck, Shauna pushed it over to her quickly, like she’d been waiting for her all along. Natalie grabbed it, giggling, and zoomed it around the table.

“Okay, Fire Chief Shauna,” she said in her big captain voice, “are you ready to save the fries people?” 

“Aye aye, Captain Nat-Nat!”

Natalie zoomed the fire truck all over the table. “Wee-ooh, wee-ooh!” she yelled, just like Shauna showed her. She pretended the fries were people stuck on a tiny island, and the truck was their brave rescuer. With a big scoop, she grabbed them all up, earning a clap and a cheer from her favorite shipmate.

And that’s when she realized – the thing Natalie loved most about Shauna: her laugh! It burst out often, bubbly and bright like a happy pirate song. It made her whole face scrunch up in the silliest way that had Natalie joining in too.

Other kids’ laughs sometimes felt mean, even when she didn’t understand the joke. Their giggles often made her feel small, weird or left out for liking different things. But never Shauna’s. It made Natalie feel all warm and happy inside, like she belonged right where she was.

Shauna was unlike any other kid Natalie had met and she hoped with all her heart they’d be best friends forever.

“Natalie, time to go sweetie! We gotta get home before Daddy gets back.”

That was Mom ending their playtime, scolding Natalie after for the silly drawings on her face. She even gave a frowny look to Shauna that made Natalie feel a little nervous. With her shoulders drooping, Natalie said goodbye to her friend before letting her mom pull her away towards the door.

Just then, Natalie heard, “Wait!” She turned around to see her new friend racing over with her special fire truck toy. Shauna pressed it into Natalie’s hands with a big smile, making Natalie smile back just a little bit. She clutched the little truck like a pirate holding her treasure.

The bus ride home felt different, all quiet and strange. Mom whispered that their “little secret adventure” should stay between just the two of them. Natalie didn’t really understand, but she nodded anyway - she didn’t want to make Mom more upset.

Back home, Daddy was already in his big, comfy chair drinking his yucky grown-up juice like always. Seeing his curious eyes gave Natalie a worried feeling so she looked at Mom, hoping for help, but got a warning look instead, reminding her to go clean up.

Natalie, perched on the big bathroom chair like a wobbly pirate captain, giggled at her reflection in the mirror. Her face was a funny mess of black lines and green smudges, reminding her of her best friend and how much fun they had saving a whole bunch of lost fries. But then loud, grumpy voices made her smile disappear faster than a scoop of melting ice cream.

For days and days, Natalie begged to go back to the fun milkshake place. But Mom would either act like she couldn’t hear, or say “No!” in a voice that boomed like thunder. Sometimes, she’d even get a shushing sound and a frowny face. And even though Natalie asked and asked, they never went back to the place where she made her very first - and for a long time, her only - real friend.