There is this thing that happens with my photography that sounds (and is) terrible but is also actually great: every so often, there comes a day where I look back on recent photos I've taken and loved and suddenly, I hate them. 😂 Hate is probably the wrong word. Really, I just can't imagine what made me think most of the photos were so good in the first place. Which is, obviously, frustrating and disappointing.
The part that makes this great is that it always precedes a jump in my photography skills.
Ira Glass has this quote – and I highly recommend finding the full quote – about the "gap" between ability and taste. The bit I'll call out specifically: "For the first couple years you make stuff, it’s just not that good. It’s trying to be good, it has potential, but it’s not. But your taste, the thing that got you into the game, is still killer. And your taste is why your work disappoints you."
Glass seems to talk about this as a temporary state that occurs only in those "first couple years." In my experience – not just with photography but with everything I do – it's a cycle. My ability catches up to my ambition, I am comfortable for a while, then my ambition or taste or whatever you'd like to call it jumps and I'm disappointed in my work again until my ability catches back up.
I'm not gonna lie, every single time, it's really tempting to just put my camera down and move on. And I have a few times, for a while at least. But I always come back to it.
I am just now, after a decade of recognizing this cycle for what it is and what it means, getting to the point where my first thought isn't "god I'm the worst why do I even bother" but instead "okay time to dedicate a bit more time and energy to this and push through."
Unfortunately for my roommate, that usually means the time I should be spending doing things like the dishes and meal planning, I instead spend on photography websites, outings, and gear research. 😂
