Yeah, it's time to get this post out again

"I am the Sword of God" is like easily top 10 things to declare immediately before doing something really stupid that will probably injure you

when jimmy fallon dies theyre incorporating his ashes into a ben and jerrys limited time flavor

who is ben

friend of jerry

that's tom

im sorry for spreading misinformation

Dahling you simply must read this book! It’s all about this devious little caterpillar who simply gorges himself on all manner of divine things

when the author describes someone dying and you can just tell they’ve never actually died by the way it’s written

fuuuuck i just realized that the future idealized version of myself cant exist without current me being the catalyst for change and doing hard things. has anybody heard about this

had a meeting at work yesterday with a guy i didn’t know and he said the phrase, “feed two birds with one scone”, which i thought indicated a conscientious and generous spirit

Outdoor cat owners have no concept of basic ecology and it shows. "You're saying my kitty is EVIL for following its instincts???????" obviously not, you idiot, its an animal. I don't blame it because it is designed to hunt and doesn't understand human morality. The cat's human owner, though, should stop pretending that millions of people letting their pets hunt native species for fun WON'T make their ecossystem collapse. If you stop hearing birdsong in your neighborhood its your fault 👍.

Also cats are domestic animals????? Its your pet. Its your responsability to take care of it and it certainly doesn't look like you are doing this if your pet spends 90% of the day on the streets. Outside cats are in great risk for being ran over, stolen, beaten, poisoned, mauled or eaten by wild animals. A mildly bored cat is way better than a dead one and besides? Just offer your pet enrichment. You don't need to risk its life to keep it happy. You can even let it outside with supervision!! Look how many options we have. Insisting the only way to keep your cat happy is allowing it to wreck the environment and possibly die is not only fucking irresponsible, but also lazy and shows that you don't really care for the wildlife around you.

Like two years ago I ran into a salamander biologist in the woods who complimented my ability to 'walk quietly in the forest while causing minimal disturbance to the leaf litter.' Still goes to my head.

Stop doing it scared and start doing it scary. Invoke sheer eye-clawing terror into all those who have ever wronged you

A woman's place is on the battlefield

so you think women should die

funny how you immediately assumed the women would lose the battle….misogynist much?

you're right i will reflect on my behavior. sorry women

it's hard being a polyamorous action hero because whenever i have flashbacks to all my dead wives it takes like 20 minutes to get through all of it

it kind of sounds like youre just feeding local women to the deadwife montage

Getting too addicted to using my chain lightning orb. I’m not even using it on goblins anymore i’m like out with friends and i start zapping people with chain lightning in olive garden. Sometimes there isn’t even a big crowd it’s just like one or two enemies. It just feels so good to use. I need to pace myself. Go back to the classics. Just magic missiles and fireballs for a bit. I don’t like who i’m becoming

what is it that they say? a young man asks the sage why there are no longer dragons. the old man says "dragons are the same. something happened to your eyes"

a young man asks the sage why there are no longer dragons. the old man says "they're long enough."