It should be worth it

(2014) So, where do I begin. I met her about eight years ago, (Give or take) we were only young kids, still in prep school, there isn't much I remember about that time sadly, other then we were good friends, some events really stuck with me for better or worse. I guess we hung out, I'm not sure what really happened, Krystel remembers that well so thats a better question for her.  I remember one day we were playing with pots on our heads and wooden spoons, she'd hit the pot on top of my head and say "got you" and run off, from what I remember it was lovely and fun. I remember one other, she had was staying over one night and I'm not sure what really happened but we ended up kissing, altho my older aunt Rachel would always open the door and pester us, I think that night was sweet and its always something nice to think of what I feel down.  I ended up moving, I had to leave my once home Mallacoota, and we were split, why I had to leave is something I'd rather not speak of.  Years past, sadly but not intentionally I forgot Krystel and suppressed my entire Mallacoota life, what happened to her I wish I knew.  Eight years filled the void between us.. Then out of no where I get a message, not sure if it was in December 2011 or just January or February 2012, And apparently she was looking for exactly me, she had looked and I was someone she messaged, I tried my best to remember her, I couldn't bring the memory to the surface of my mind and register faces. We started talking basic chat like any strangers would, we got to know each other a little bit that day, I ended up looking through old suitcases trying to find an old prep school photo of her and I, I found one and even my own mother remembered her, which I guess is fine. So we talked every now and then, maybe every second day, as she is now she was amazingly beautiful, but that didn't change my motivation to talk to this wonderful person. I really wanted to know someone from my childhood, I'd lost everyone else I ever knew, And deep down wanted to see if she was as twisted and lost as me so I could have someone to relate to, but over all the curiosity of what my childhood was really like was determined to say the least.  The more I got to know her I couldn't stop, she was amazing, we shared the same interests and dislikes of which we knew of each other at the time, you could spend hours talking to her and we'd have the most interesting conversations, this went on for some months, two or three. She began to tell me she cared about me and I the same, once we knew what we were both going through and what we were trying to handle, I would worry about her a lot, I'm not so sure if she did the same time but a part of me hoped she did. It didn't take long for me to get attached to her, but this sort of attachment was different, she was literally something I could never live without, being on the brink of suicide the first care that put its arm out for me I couldn't help but grab on and never let go hoping I'd be safe from myself.  The more we talked the more I'd let her in and hope she would do the same, even tho she didn't I still grew more attached to her, every moment I just felt my soul being torn into a force of pure perfection, something you couldn't stop if you tried but you wouldn't ever think of doing such a thing.  As the days past I became an incomplete human, We talked every hour of everyday  Update 2018 Christmas Day: I will never finish this piece, I must let go. It’s never going to be the same without you. You were my hearts home.