Clox

CW/TW: major spoilers, mentions of abuse, trauma, PTSD, and some sexual references.

1. First things first…

The plot. The plot itself is a 6/10, it has good story building, logical timestamps, and the author is very good at tugging at your heartstrings. Those are my main uptakes on it.

However, I have a problem with almost everything else. Firstly, Hook. Hook himself is portrayed as very watered-down compared to actual Hook (in this case we’re referring to Peter Pan (2003) Hook), in the beginning phases of the fanfic, Wendy seemingly has nightmares of Hook (reasonably) that morph into (implied) sexual/romantic premises. And the cause of those nightmares are cast aside once Hook reunites with her again, Hook barely elaborating on it his cruelty to her besides it being for the purpose of being against Pan.

I also just don’t understand the plot between Hook and Wendy’s romance. Hook basically randomly appeared at Wendy’s window whilst she was wishing for him to come back. The writer’s reasoning for this was because she assumed Pan would forget, which is realistic for anyone else to assume, but unrealistic for Wendy to assume, considering how close of a connection Wendy had with Peter in the movie, and it becomes questionable as to when Hook started to become infatuated by Wendy. Did Hook like Wendy when she was a young girl? Did he randomly become attracted to her when he saw her again at that moment?

Hook’s wording choice I can appreciate within the first few chapters however, I see this as very in-character despite the circumstances. (“And I wonder, child - when you wished for the Neverland to show itself again, was this what you imagined?” Hook breathed darkly. “No one left to remember you but the pirate captain of your nightmares, and now he’s come back to haunt you again -”) As much as I appreciate depth of his emotions that are layered behind his words, I also am slightly confused. Maybe this is a lacking on my part, however I’ll elaborate.

He is aggressive to her in a odd way, coming over to see her despite not really “liking” her? The alternative ties back into my previous comment, of when exactly did Hook start to like Wendy? When she was a little girl? When they reunited again?

Furthermore as Hook begins to see Wendy at the window, their “relationship” develops. This is where it becomes more coherent, and therefore where I start to have more critiques.

Hook eventually begins to love Wendy and after basically beating up her abusive husband, they run away to Neverland together. I wish the author elaborated more on Wendy’s possible trauma after this besides just getting panicked at certain motions. I would’ve loved to see maybe her feelings for her husband becoming twisted, perhaps her missing him, as this is common in abusive relationships that end, for a victim to try and rationalize. I would also liked to see more about her husband other than the bad. I of course understand her husband is meant to be a terrible person, however, it’s not exactly elaborated onto that much as to WHY she loved/loves him. It would also created more depth to Hook and Wendy’s relationship, and Wendy and her husband’s relationship. Although it is not directly mentioned, Wendy does seem to develop heightened PTSD from her husband, which is really only shown via flashbacks and hyper-vigilance.

Hook’s fight against the crocodile is broken down by the author, yes, but it is framed more for a selfless reason. I’m not saying Hook is incapable of selflessness, however… Do you seriously think he’d care about children? It made sense to me when he cared when he was a child himself, however it starts to make less sense when he’s older. I suppose the author did write a whole entire different plot about his childhood, so I can understand. But still, it falls into my critique of him being soft compared to her canon counterpart.

Hook is a gentleman, yes, he however, is not romantic. At least not romantic to Wendy. The gentle things that he does with her throughout this fanfic is intriguing to me, because it seems written almost purely to paint him as attractive and the “perfect” man. His flaws are watered down to a “questionable” but acceptable level, whereas compared to the Hook in the movie this fic is based off of, he is very aggressive and manipulative. I understand that this is an AU, however this is a common problem amongst many fanfics.

2. Onto Hook.

Hook is believe it or not, my second biggest characteristic problem here. His flaws are watered down, and as I mentioned, he is written in such a way where he seems more “perfect” than “Hook”. Of course there are some scenes where his flaws are prevalent, however they are nowhere near how he actually is. It is confusing.

Hook willingly making her a pirate is something that sort of proves to me that the author doesn’t know much about Hook. He doesn’t like women on his ship, I’m sure he wouldn’t like one as a crewmember. This is a fun idea though, so I won’t rain on her parade for this. I simply wish there were more depictions of princess pirates. :3 It is cute that his gentleman factor is turnt up so high, I just wish there were moments where he was a sarcastic little prick!

3. Onto Wendy.

Wendy is the biggest character critique I have here, especially considering she’s the main character here. In the beginning, her story is tragic, and her character is still intact. However when she moves to the ship with Hook, she sort of develops an odd complex about herself (which is actually very interesting as a concept), later on there’s this odd femdom scene where she sort of pegs Hook and it’s supposed to be interpreted as her “gaining power”?

What I don’t understand is how her personality before was not powerful. Her feminine, soft-spoken nature was nothing that wasn’t strong. She is mature, responsible, and nurturing—all traits that are strong and valuable within a person. There’s this scene as well where she curses and it’s treated as a big deal, which is just cliche. There are better ways she could regain power after an abusive relationship other than becoming more traditionally masculine, which a lot of writers fail to depict.

4. Onto Pan.

Pan is the most interesting character depicted here, he is not necessarily off-character, but this story falls into a cliche that I hate.

Directly turning Peter Pan into a black-and-white “antagonist “protagonist” rather than showing complexity. In this case, Peter being the villain. As much as I understand this is a fanfic made to depict older Wendy and Hook being romantically together, there still is a huge plot the author wrote besides, to explain Hook’s motive in this AU. I have a personal distate for this version of depicting Peter Pan, so I suppose this is a me problem. But I do feel that complexity and themes of time and fear of change is a HUGE element to the story, so changing it and making it much more “story-telling” is defeating the plot in a way. Pan’s flaws in this AU is turnt up to 10, his forgetfulness, his cruelty, and his carelessness. The author does not really show his whimsical, playful, and childish side unless it’s under the guise of pretending or luring. Hook and Pan’s complexities and difficulty to truly label is what compels many to the story. But I will say he is one of the most consistent characters plotwise here.

5. Onto Tick-Tock.

Tick-Tock is turnt into something much more monstrous here, in this plot, he is basically a demonic beast of Pan’s will. I wish more time elements were incorporated here, as Tick-Tock’s metaphorical message is literally time. Hook is literally running away from time. The crocodiles purpose here is basically a demon that Pan made a deal with to stay eternally youthful, for which he sacrifices children to, which is interesting plot wise, but it is a bit too cruel for Pan. What I gain from the author so far is that she has a very definitive direction for how she wants to portray the plot, which is respectable, but can give J.K Rowling sometimes.

I feel the author could’ve definitely incorporated her plot that she built for Tick-Tock and the fear of time, which I feel would’ve made this story much more interesting.

Overall, the story is a 5/10. It is very nice plot-wise, however it is questionable and sometimes inaccurate characters-wise.