Beary-Imperfect

~ rules i've set for myself to stay in the present

1. No phone for two hours after I wake up

this is a common one and it makes a big difference to my well-being. if the first thing you're seeing is news, emails from work, and notifications from socials you're throwing yourself into a bunch of unneeded tiny stressors before you're even out of bed. I like to stay unfazed and in that dreamy state for as long as I can.

2. Set it and forget it

If I'm doing a chore or task my phone goes in my room until everything is done. If I want music or a podcast on while I do it, I have wireless headphones and speakers around my house so I can set up the music then forget about my phone and get to work.

3. Maximum one hour of screentime per day

I love utilizing the digital wellness setting and making sure I keep up with my goals. I set locks on socials so after a set amount of time I can't access the app again that day and my phone automatically goes into Do Not Disturb in the evening.

4. No phone while with company

This is an obvious one that's seriously overlooked. The last thing I want while visiting with someone is having to take their attention away from their phones so I set the tone by putting my phone away whenever I'm chatting with someone. I want them to know I'm present with them and care about what they're saying.

5. Weekly digital detox

Once a week, usually on the weekend when I don't need my phone for work, I turn off all my tech and spend the day indulging myself in hobbies and activities that don't involve screens. Puzzles, crosswords, books, training my dog, food prep, cleaning, drawing, journalling, you name it. A day to disconnect and turn inwards. Mmm.

Lingala proverb

Bino batu ya mikanda milai, mindodo mingi. = You educated people have too many problems

Swahili proverb

Kheri kufa macho kuliko kufa moyo. = better the death of the eyes, than death of the heart/its better to lose your eyes than to lose your heart

Tshiluba proverb

Balela naabù kîmbèètù. Bàdì bèètù nebàngaakwìlè.= Those with whom we share blood are not our people. Our people are the ones who will defend us

I’ll add a Kiluba proverb even though I don’t speak it or know anything apart from basic greetings. My grandad from my mum’s side is part Luba-Katanga so it’s my language 

Bene biyombo b'onabyo. Buki bwakupa mukwabo kafita = Those who own the country spoil it. It grieves them even to give honey to others. You who have plenty, don’t grieve to help those who have not.