This Single Mama's Life

Writing a blog isn’t as easy as it might seem.  Am I too wordy, too vague, too confusing, too annoying. Then I hit a crossroads of not having anything to say of value and deleting this or spinning off and hosting myself. I’m at that point recently ….

A piss poor decision 2 years ago has led to an onslaught of mental, emotional dips for me.  A year out from it ending and I’m realizing more daily. Sitting in a cess pool situation because leaving it would somehow, some way indicate to the other person that you are weak is not smart.  It’s actually just plain dumb.   Living a bad scenario of groundhog’s day is just a one way ticket to mental…

TimeHop kindly reminded me on waking that today marks one year.  365 days since the day I got the news I dreaded most – Will does, in fact, have epilepsy. In typical fashion, I pushed my emotions to the side and went into research mode.  What I found was so confusing and overwhelming I had to do it in small doses.  Yet it was so minor compared to what living with this diagnosis would look like.…

LOVE this I’m obsessed with words, but these words, strung together?  YES! What did I learn?  What I am worth, what I deserve, what bullshit looks like, that people so convincingly lie to get what they want, that promises mean nothing to the majority, who I am, my strength, my tenacity, my ability to pick myself up, for myself by myself, how to write the longest run-on sentence ever. Most of…

So I find myself, once again, at a fork in the road.  Trying to come to a solid decision about which way to travel.  Been here a few times in the last couple years and think it may be time to veer left instead of staying right.

I Love Bruno …

Talking to the Moon Lyrics I know you’re somewhere out there Somewhere far away I want you back I want you back My neighbors think I’m crazy But they don’t understand You’re all I had You’re all I had [Chorus:] At night when the stars light up my room I sit by myself talking to the moon. Trying to get to you In hopes you’re on the other side talking to me too. Or am I a fool who sits alone…

Still waiting for this moment to happen. Still romantic enough beneath the jaded broken cynical me to believe it is out there somewhere. An Officer and a Gentleman

From time to time I get these weird hunches.  Gut instinct, I guess, or a feeling like something isn’t right or something is gonna happen. I have one lately and it is getting stronger. I am at this weird place where I feel like this isn’t it, if that makes any sense.  I’m not where I’m supposed to be, where I would be happy.  In pretty much every aspect of my life. I’ve always been pretty much an…

Waking up from a dream so real, it takes awhile to get your head clear and you are actually angry, like it happened. Twas a doozy, glad it’s starting to fade. Then scrolling through IG and this pops up, love this ….

Where you don’t pop in my mind or my dreams.

It’s been almost 2 years since this started, to think 2 years ago you were someone I’d see in passing.  2 years later I pretend not to know you to hide the hurt that’s still just beneath the surface.

And I’d kill to not have you cross my subconscious in some way.  It’s beyond clear I’m not at all in yours.

Where you don’t pop in my mind or my dreams.

It’s been almost two years since this started, to think 2 years ago you were someone I’d see in passing.  2 years later I pretend not to know you to hide the hurt that’s still just beneath the surface.

And I’d kill to not have you cross my subconscious in some way.  It’s beyond clear I’m not at all in yours.