Drowning Above Water

The memories are what killed me day after day. He was always in the front of my mind, right behind my eyelids. His brown eyes and sweet smile, looking at me like he was the luckiest guy in the world. The comfort of having his arms wrapped around me in the early hours of the morning. Walking into a room seeing his eyes light up with a big smile saying “Hey there beautiful.” My best friend always being there for me, knowing each other like the back of our hands. My mind would always drift back to these moments no matter what I was doing. Finding myself zoning out staring blankly at a wall, finally snapping out of it to have stinging behind my eyes and a lump formed in my throat. Not being able to wrap my head around my new reality that I had been forced into. Killing me every time knowing that he would never be mine again, with the gut wrenching feeling of knowing there wasn’t a damn thing I could do about it.

Give. Even when you know you can get nothing back.