Shh, it's story time!

Ok so this is going to sound stupid as shit to most people but holy shit, when I see children/baby clothes I get so confused.  Beyond reasoning.   I even ask things like “why is doll clothes so expensive holy shit’ or “do children actually exist or is this clothing for gnomes?”  I don’t understand.  The tiny clothes, just… THE TINY CLOTHES.  LOOK.  IT’S A WAISTCOAT FOR A 1 YEAR OLD.  WHY IS THIS SO FUNNY TO ME.  It’S A TINy SuiT FOR BABIES.  WHY.

"susan, rechedule my 9 o’clock meeting. I just shit my pants."

"Johnny, find out what this peek-a-boo asshole wants. He keeps kidnapping my family and giving them back"

"JERRY. I JUST TOOK A NAP. AND I’M STILL TIRED OF YOUR SHIT."

"LOOK. JOHNSON. PULL THIS OFF, AND YOU’LL BE DRIVING A NEW POWER WHEELS BY NEXT WEEK."

"Don’t try to bullshit me Johnson, I wasn’t born yesterday. I was born four months ago."

"Man, you should see me secretary’s rack. Lunch for DAYS."

"Alright mark, let’s talk numbers. But keep in mine that I can only count to five."

"TELL IAN I’M NOT SIGNING THE AGREEMENT UNTIL HE GIVES ME MY NOSE BACK"

"SUSAN. I’M MEETING THE CEO AT THE AIRPORT. CALL FOR MY TRICYCLE"

"JOHNSON GET IN HERE. I CAN’T EAT THIS WITHOUT THE PLANE SOUND."

"WE NEED TO MEET OUR PUKE QUOTA"

"MOMMY ISN’T STRESSED ENOUGH AND WE’RE HITTING OUR DEADLINE"

"AIDEN. AIDEN. LISTEN TO ME. GIVE ME THE JUICE"

"CLARISEE YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND. I NEED THIS PACIFIER"

legit in fucking

tears