Working

I’ve lived a lot of places. I’ve lived in a lot of houses. But when I was with you I finally found home. I saw it. It scared me. I saw forever. I saw waking up in your arms every morning. I saw making dinner together every night. I saw loving you forever. I saw forever and I lost it. I lost you and I lost my first real home. Losing you hurt more than anything I’ve ever felt. You’re still in my life but not in the same way. It’s not love anymore. I just can’t let go. Because I can still see forever. You may not see it but I still do. If I’ve learned one thing being with you it’s that sometimes love isn’t enough. And that makes me so sad.

I don't smile when I hear your name. Not anymore.

sometimes silence says so much more than words ever could

I may have put all of my pieces back in the right places but you can still see where I have been broken. You can still see the crakes in my heart and the cuts on my hands. You will always be able to see the marks that you left on me.

When I was with you I'd close my eyes. I'd try to memorize the feeling- of safety, of love, of something greater than I could explain. Looking back now I try to remember but I can't. I can't remember. It's all been stained by the pain you caused me. By the naïveté of it all. That we thought we could really happen. - excepts from the book I'll never write #1

All I asked was for you to be there. You weren't so I had to choose and I chose myself.