I hate when people call randomly… like if you’re not the love of my life or my mother, please text to schedule an appointment first.

If you don’t pee after sex you’re gonna get an HDMI like it’s just that simple ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

god, imagine sharing a bed with the person you love. chatting about dumb things! just sleeping! it’s like a sleepover but every night how sweet is that!!!!

Me @ myself: Are you gonna draw today? Or are you gonna be a little bitch?

play this at my funeral

👆🏾👆🏾👆🏾

The only fireworks I’m interested in honestly

bro, i dont even care anymore. fuck it! *continues to try very hard*

This is like a shot of a woman running where the camera focuses on her cleavage. Except it’s a man, not a woman. And a pug, not boobs.

eats when im sad, sad when i eat

You’re fucking kidding me