Dream it. Wish it. Do it.

Running isn't a sport for pretty boys. It's about the sweat in your hair and the blisters on your feet. It's the spit on your chin and the nausea in your gut. It's about throbbing calves and cramps at midnight that are strong enough to wake the dead. It's about getting out the door and running when the rest of the world is only dreaming about having the passion that you need to live each and every day with. It's about being on a lonely road and running like a champion even when there's not a single soul in sight to cheer you on. Running is all about having the desire to train and persevere until every fiber in your legs, mind and heart is turned to steel. And when you've finally forged hard enough, you will become the best runner you can be. And that's all you can ask for!

For those of you who know me well, you'll know I've been a runner for over two years now. Faithfully posting my progress after every run really helped me stay motivated.

You might wonder how I do it. Waking up every other day and pushing my body instead of staying in and lazing around. Well, I did that. If there was an award for sitting on your ass, I'd win hands down. I was lazy, and not motivated to change that. That's where the problem lay. I liked trying all the new workouts in town. Zumba, yoga, weights, treadmill, aerobics, and insanity workouts. Each time, my goal was to lose "x" number of kilos, and to look a certain way. The minute I reached that goal, I thought I could stop, and go back to sitting on my lazy ass. It only took a couple weeks from there to realize I had put back all that weight. It didn't take any effort to relapse. And relapsing undid all the effort that I did make.

Come new year's 2016, I had travelled to Bangkok and bravely wore a bikini to the beach. Unfortunately (or fortunately), there was a video which was shot. Come playback time, I wanted to bury my face in the ground. There I was, at my fattest, jiggling around on the beach in my bikini. What hurt the most wasn't the way my body looked, it was the feeling that came with looking and being unhealthy/unfit.

This brought about my new goal:

-set goals, demolish goals.

-start and never give up.

-lifestyle change.

-finish what you started.

I joined a weight loss group and i did a no carbs diet for EIGHT weeks! Without cheating myself. Wow, I thought. If I wanted, I could really do this.

I joined a gym and learnt how to push through all that laziness, simply because I enjoyed waking up early and being able to lift heavier and heavier weights. This is where I started running. Treadmill running. Also, I had the sweetest trainer, who motivated me so much. Then came the day when I found out that I was the inspiration for other people in the gym. What? Me? Fitness motivator???? I am really surprising myself by this point.

April 2016, we sign up for a 30km walkathon, and BAM, in the middle of that summer's scorching sun, immense dust and pollution, and fatigue, I pushed on. BAM. Goals were being demolished!!

By May 2016, I got so into the gym culture and treadmill running, that I decide to make a commitment like never before. An annual gym membership! Of course, I had months when I slipped, days when I just refused to push myself, and weeks of lazing around, but I learnt to NEVER give up. No matter how bad you think your workout is going, you're still miles ahead of the version of you lazing at home.

Fast forward to 2017, I've successfully completed my year at the gym. I've done bi weekly 10Ks and what not. Oh, and I lost weight!! Never felt better about myself.

This time I decided to step it up, and start doing actual runs, cause I realized the treadmill is causing too much impact on my knees. So I start waking up to do runs at Coles park, cause evenings are too noisy, crowded, and polluted.

July 2017, I sign up with some colleagues for a 12 hour relay, where a 6 member team runs for 2 hours each. A 2 hour run... Could I do it?

Without much practice on long runs, I pushed my body and mind like never before, and completed a whopping 17.5km in 2 hours!! BAM baby! Demolishing them goals and never giving up!

Then came the scary moment of giving up my runs for three whole weeks, cause we decided to travel to Europe. It was so scary to think that I might not be able to get back to this beautiful routine that I had so painstakingly put together.

While I was there, we were walking an average of 7.5km every single day, so I guess that kept me going. Upon getting back, I found myself more excited to pick up where I left off. Before I knew it, I was back in the routine. What a surprise! I didn't give it up.

Fast forward to today, I'm doing runs 4 times a week, and averaging at 4 evening workouts every week.

I am fitter than I've ever been in my life. I've injected this lifestyle of fitness into my everyday. And I recently found out from a girl I haven't spoken to since school, that I inspired her to start working out. She's been looking at all my fitness posts and started up for herself! Sometimes I cannot believe how far I've come.

Being called the meanest names like fat so, ugly, an fat cow, and what not.. from the time I was so young really has had a negative impact on my self image. Shattered it even. I was never a sports person in school. I stood in the sidelines, embarrassed by the way I looked, watching these girls playing basketball and running relays. Winning. When would my time come, I thought. Eating was my best friend and biggest source of comfort. Chocolates, biscuits, and anything unhealthy. There was no hope I thought.

Exactly.. "I thought". My mind took over. Controlled so much of how I felt and acted.

Then came the time when "I thought" I could run. Here I am, runner, artist, dancer, and fitter than I've ever been before. Fittest? Nah. Long way to go.

I eat everything. I learnt the hard way to be gentle with my body. There's no need to deprive her of things she loves. But there's no need to indulge too much. She'll always have access to the food she loves if she eats it in moderation.

I'm not a size zero. But I can do splits, backbends, run marathons, and look good. I can look at a mirror and really truly appreciate who I've become. (Huge huge giant leap for me considering I could never stand to look at myself). I'm a fitness motivator, foodie, and runner. All at once. Enjoying the best of everything.

I worked harder than ever, and I enjoy the fruit of it. Today, my legs were weak after yoga yesterday, and I had an ache and stitch in my side, but I decided 6 rounds around Coles park, and didn't stop till I got there. Determination. Perseverance. Motivation. Never give up. Keep pushing.

Time. Thighs. Tone.

Goodnight, we said

Then lay, eyes wide open

Monday has ended

Weekend thrill has fallen

For hours together,we went on

Rambling about nothing

Eyes sparkling and heart gushing

Such happiness did it bring

Friday drink in hand, hand on waist

We danced the night away

Wrapped up in each other

All the way till break of Saturday

Blue,the colour of this night

Heart is heavy, eyes are teary

Weekdays are rough and

The words feel distant; head feels empty

Light-headed, they call it

The nights fading into tomorrows

Ever so similar to today

Gloomy, distant, and that feeling grows

When will it come back?

Blankets and kisses, we were carefree

In that moment, in that night

I don’t know where I’m going, there’s no road up ahead

Yesterday’s path forgotten, the old me seemingly dead

Yet here I lie, awake at night

My mind wandering into brighter light

A gleam of gold trickling through the crack in the wall

I see it shining through, but in the distance is all

Engulfed in a darkness under a clear blue sky

Stand up again, is but all I could try

Heart pounding, nothing new…