I’m back on this shitty website again 🙄

Dad’s making a new expression. Dean’s cataloged and labeled all the tilts and frowns of him, knows intrinsically what to expect if his eyebrow quirks two quarters up versus one quarter. Knows to square his jaw if Dad’s eyes flicker away for three seconds instead of two. And knows exactly what words to string together in order to soften the blow.  Dean knows these things better than he knows about monsters, but the way Dad’s looking at him now is uncharted territory. Dad’s eyes are wide open, the way they get when he has to yell particularly bad, but there’s a slight shake to them like he might be fighting something big inside him. Dean’s never seen it before and he doesn't know how to navigate against it. Dean looks down, looks at the gravel between them, a pile of rocks so fragmented it looks like black sand. His mind’s doing that thing again. The thing where he feels half cemented and half outside himself, says, “Got four months left.” “What?” Dad's voice comes out untethered, like it was ripped out of him.  Dean’s fingertips have gone numb now and he can feel the weight of Dad’s gun in his hand as if Dean was carrying it himself. He knows he’s a dead man twice over when he looks into Dad’s eyes one more time. Jesus. Dean counts his days, his hours, the minutes in his future, and decides that if he’s going to hell anyway, he might as well take everything he's got with him. He shrugs, with his mouth dry and his heart beating hard enough to kill him early, croaks, “Couldn’t live without ‘im.” Won't have to now, is what runs through his head. The only tether keeping him from crumbling into gasping, heavy sobs only a disappoitment of a son is capable of producing.

Hey!! I HAVE been super quiet and im so so sorry about that, I’ve been dealing with a few WACKY things lately but we are back on track! I’ve started writing again with new inspiration ! Hopefully i van get a new chapter out soon, WE’LL SEE

I have the plot planned out and im finally free from the shackles of recent curses LMAO BUT I WILL UPDATE I PINKY PROMISE