Im back...God help us.

somewhere inside every decision is the graveyard of every life you did not choose

You just know the ye olde peasants went NUTS at that last part

We don’t say sblood enough we should bring it back

auto immune disorders happen when the immune system ignores regulatory factors and begins attacking healthy bodily tissues, due to what scientists refer to as "sheer love of the game"

why even wear panties if you’re just chillin in the crib ?? what’s the point?

pussy 2 wet don’t wanna slide off the couch

my summer plans consist of unclenching my jaw + forgiving myself

I love the word "beeline." youre in such a hurry youre doing bug movement

work tomorrow is one of the worst things that can happen to you

I want to see the vampire who lives in this. I bet his name is Chad or Hunter.

And he's ready to crack open a boy with the cold ones.

in my work of fanfiction i am going to hold the villain responsible for their actions by making them have sex with the person they tried to kill, which will effectively address all the relevant moral issues by being hot.

the prince has begun practicing curtseying in the mirror. which could mean nothing.

we have good news and bad news, my liege. the good news is that we now know what that curtsying was about: you will be pleased to know that, after several heartfelt conversations between your child, the court jesters and a myriad of singing woodland creatures, you are now the parent of a proud and joyful new princess. the bad news is that, due to a series of events related to the dragon-sized hole in her bedchamber wall,

pretty sure you’re literally the only person who understood my vision on this accursed post

Shout out to the clover, the dandelion and the daisy. The triumvirate of springtime childish whimsy. WHO is doing it like them

my best friend linen my brother in arms cotton my partner wool my beautiful sister silk

our sick deranged enemy polyester....

the demon lord, prince of lies, "Vegan Leather"...

having a job is very weird bcos by and large your coworkers will be a variety of ages and you will not all be at the same stage of life. your coworker will be like, well I’m off home to spend time with my husband & child, what are you going to do with your evening? and you’re like, well, I plan on playing Rollercoaster Tycoon for as much as it as possible

And you are older than them

"Whimsy" is truly a wretched term. What maketh thee so carefree?

thy mother

Art thou for fucking real