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‘C:Users\aolkhahzaylht\martyn?.exe’
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@itlw-mailbox
LOADING…
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[ eyes appear from thin air, thinly clawed hands snatching him up by the scruff. ]
you– you stupid, snivelling hound! i wasn't done with that yet! i'll– i'll make you rue the day you were born, you and your asinine spouse to boot!
@tales-mailbox
[His body freezes before he even knows what is happening, dropping the blocks he had been holding. For a man preparing to be a powerful wizard, he doesn't seem to be able to put up much of a fight]
[Ren stares up at the eyes, a shiver running down his spine. He wants to run, but there's nowhere he can go when stuck like this]
"H- Hello to you too?"
[He tries to fall back on humour, keeping his tone of voice happy]
"Stupid snivelling hound is pretty mean dude, what did I even do to you?"
[ There’s a pause, for a moment, a deep breath in as if the presence is going to continue to berate him– ]
auuugggghhhhhhhhh!
[ more of the figure reveals itself; bristling tails, shaking fist, a stomping foot under billowing robes. ]
you ruined it! you ruined it!
[He isn’t sure what to do. It’s not every day that eyes appear and throw a tantrum in his house]
I’m sorry? What did I ruin-
[He feels like apologizing is a safe option. Maybe.]
[ Of course he doesn't even know. Stupid player. Roughly, Tale casts him aside, full physical form coming into view. ]
i hate you! i hate all of you! i hate your whole, miserable little server! i hate everything!
/kill Renthedog
/kill Renthedog
/kill Renthedog
[ She stands there, out of breath, clutching at her robes. Watching him. ]
[Ouch]
[Ouch]
[Youch]
[He doesn’t get time to grab his things between respawns, already hit by another death by the time he returns. He sits there in his bed for a minute, waiting to see if she’ll kill him again]
[When another death doesn’t come, he gets up quickly, grabbing his things and pulling out his sword. The pathetic diamond against a creature who can use commands doesn’t seem like a fight he’d win, but it’s better than nothing]
Listen, dude, I’m sorry- I don’t know for what but I’m sorry!
[ The moment he pulls out his sword, she nearly recoils, an arm reaching up to pass in front of her face– and then she steels herself and leans forward, putting her hands to her knees and displaying her tails above her head, bristling. ]
don't you touch me!
don't you fucking touch me.
Dude, I haven’t even done anything yet-
[He grips his sword tighter, keeping it ready to attack if she moves away closer]
[He isn’t sure if he should call someone. Who would even be able to help? Maybe he deserved this. He fucked so many things up recently that at least he’ll get proper consequences for one of them]
How about we just back down, let’s just talk about this-
hah! "just talk"? to a player?
[ She stands up, dusting her hands off almost nonchalantly. as if he was ever a threat to me. A hysterical giggle spills from her lips. ]
you think i would willingly debase myself to pretend i was on equal grounds with the likes of you?
well i'm not! i'm better than you! i am! i am! i am!
[ Is the sound she's making still laughter? ]
[she's sounding insane to him, and unfortunately he's only equipped to handle doc's insanity alone]
[his first idea is to call doc. that ends the moment he opens his contact and sees those past messages. he cant bother him right now.]
[he send a message to martyn instead. he needs to talk to him anyway]
You whisper to InTheLittleWood: hey if you arent busy are you able to come help me You whisper to InTheLittleWood: theres just a mildly insane pair of eyes in my house :D:D:D:D:D:D if you are busy i can handle it
[okay back to the possibly insane lady in his house. he looks up at her again, sword still ready to attack]
yeah, youre better than me dude, uh huh.. we can still talk about it..?
@itlw-mailbox
Martyn didn’t reply, however in a few minutes he was there. He had expected to see the same eyes that’d bothered him but instead there was a very angry and very scary looking lady. He had half a mind to turn back and go home but Ren wouldn’t be very happy with him if he done that, so out of the goodness of his heart he stayed.
[ Tale whirls around, tails flicking faintly and an absolutely foul smell filling the air. ]
and you, you simpering fool– stay out of this!
/tp InTheLittleWood <1000000 ~ 1000000>
What the fuck? Martyn blinked a few times to quell the nausea before groaning overly loud at his new (albeit better) predicament. Well, he best get flying.
[ eyes appear from thin air, thinly clawed hands snatching him up by the scruff. ]
you– you stupid, snivelling hound! i wasn't done with that yet! i'll– i'll make you rue the day you were born, you and your asinine spouse to boot!
@tales-mailbox
[His body freezes before he even knows what is happening, dropping the blocks he had been holding. For a man preparing to be a powerful wizard, he doesn't seem to be able to put up much of a fight]
[Ren stares up at the eyes, a shiver running down his spine. He wants to run, but there's nowhere he can go when stuck like this]
"H- Hello to you too?"
[He tries to fall back on humour, keeping his tone of voice happy]
"Stupid snivelling hound is pretty mean dude, what did I even do to you?"
[ There’s a pause, for a moment, a deep breath in as if the presence is going to continue to berate him– ]
auuugggghhhhhhhhh!
[ more of the figure reveals itself; bristling tails, shaking fist, a stomping foot under billowing robes. ]
you ruined it! you ruined it!
[He isn’t sure what to do. It’s not every day that eyes appear and throw a tantrum in his house]
I’m sorry? What did I ruin-
[He feels like apologizing is a safe option. Maybe.]
[ Of course he doesn't even know. Stupid player. Roughly, Tale casts him aside, full physical form coming into view. ]
i hate you! i hate all of you! i hate your whole, miserable little server! i hate everything!
/kill Renthedog
/kill Renthedog
/kill Renthedog
[ She stands there, out of breath, clutching at her robes. Watching him. ]
[Ouch]
[Ouch]
[Youch]
[He doesn’t get time to grab his things between respawns, already hit by another death by the time he returns. He sits there in his bed for a minute, waiting to see if she’ll kill him again]
[When another death doesn’t come, he gets up quickly, grabbing his things and pulling out his sword. The pathetic diamond against a creature who can use commands doesn’t seem like a fight he’d win, but it’s better than nothing]
Listen, dude, I’m sorry- I don’t know for what but I’m sorry!
[ The moment he pulls out his sword, she nearly recoils, an arm reaching up to pass in front of her face– and then she steels herself and leans forward, putting her hands to her knees and displaying her tails above her head, bristling. ]
don't you touch me!
don't you fucking touch me.
Dude, I haven’t even done anything yet-
[He grips his sword tighter, keeping it ready to attack if she moves away closer]
[He isn’t sure if he should call someone. Who would even be able to help? Maybe he deserved this. He fucked so many things up recently that at least he’ll get proper consequences for one of them]
How about we just back down, let’s just talk about this-
hah! "just talk"? to a player?
[ She stands up, dusting her hands off almost nonchalantly. as if he was ever a threat to me. A hysterical giggle spills from her lips. ]
you think i would willingly debase myself to pretend i was on equal grounds with the likes of you?
well i'm not! i'm better than you! i am! i am! i am!
[ Is the sound she's making still laughter? ]
[she's sounding insane to him, and unfortunately he's only equipped to handle doc's insanity alone]
[his first idea is to call doc. that ends the moment he opens his contact and sees those past messages. he cant bother him right now.]
[he send a message to martyn instead. he needs to talk to him anyway]
You whisper to InTheLittleWood: hey if you arent busy are you able to come help me You whisper to InTheLittleWood: theres just a mildly insane pair of eyes in my house :D:D:D:D:D:D if you are busy i can handle it
[okay back to the possibly insane lady in his house. he looks up at her again, sword still ready to attack]
yeah, youre better than me dude, uh huh.. we can still talk about it..?
@itlw-mailbox
Martyn didn’t reply, however in a few minutes he was there. He had expected to see the same eyes that’d bothered him but instead there was a very angry and very scary looking lady. He had half a mind to turn back and go home but Ren wouldn’t be very happy with him if he done that, so out of the goodness of his heart he stayed.
[ The presence returns. ]
leaving so soon? you're better than that.
are you afraid of a little spat?
chaos and fear are what we desire
so...
so
so get back in there. i'm hungry. do you want that reward or not?
Martyn sighed, the eye was back?
“I flicked a few levers! I done what you asked, go do it yourself if you’re so set on it.” He snarled, tail flicking. Maybe he should take more caution in speaking to a Watcher, but this was just unreasonable!
[ More eyes manifest surrounding Martyn, each and every one staring him down. A clawed hand grabs his ear, and another his shirt, tugging him forward. ]
make it happen, snivelling little whelp–
[ Martyn is dropped roughly to the ground. ]
or i'll write you a curse so miserable you'll suffer for the rest of your misbegotten existence.
That was enough to shut him up. Martyn stayed on the ground for a few moments, stunned, before he hastily nodded and moved to the Hermitcraft server.
Man… his friends were gonna hate him after this! How was he supposed to explain some Watcher put him upto this, because putting a bunch of his friends into a death loop is the type of thing Martyn would do unprompted.
He made his way back into the machine, he’d worry about his relationships later, for now he just needed to flick a few more levers.
Sorry Gem, Zed, and Mumbo, he just hoped that would be enough levers. He momentarily entertained the idea of turning off Doc’s and Pearl’s, but Doc deserved it, and he wasn’t really in the mood for being cursed by a Watcher today, so also sorry to Pearl.
Martyn quickly escaped the scene, hoping he wouldn’t receive another visit from the dreaded eye (until it delivered his reward that is).
[ The presence returns. ]
leaving so soon? you're better than that.
are you afraid of a little spat?
chaos and fear are what we desire
so...
so
so get back in there. i'm hungry. do you want that reward or not?
Martyn sighed, the eye was back?
“I flicked a few levers! I done what you asked, go do it yourself if you’re so set on it.” He snarled, tail flicking. Maybe he should take more caution in speaking to a Watcher, but this was just unreasonable!

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[ A presence appears next to Martyn. ]
ahem...
martyn inthelittlewood. we have a message for you.
upon the server hermitcraft
(with its horde of daft riffraff)
far away and very deep
a fabulous device does sleep
go, and try it on the horde
and we promise dear reward
1128 -42 2773
proceed forward
@tales-mailbox
Martyn was bored, the kind of boredom that ate away at you, leaving you itching and agonising. Not that he was doing much to curb that boredom.
Luckily, the answer to said agony seemed to appear right beside him. He startled a little, turning to see an eye? An eye that appeared to be speaking to him, so he really should be listening—
A device for him to mess with already? It really was his lucky day! Unless that was yesterday… how many lucky days can someone have? Ooh, and some coordinates! Although he does like a good hunt on occasion, the Hermitcraft server is vast, and the hermits are weirdly good at hiding their stuff (not good enough though, ha!). And with a promise of reward, you could count him right in.
“Thank ya eye-“ Likely a Watcher, actually “- Is the reward my boredom being stopped for… maybe a day or so? Or is there a different reward in mind?”
you'll find out.
[ She may not have actually... come up with anything yet. She'll think of something narratively satisfying once her hunger's been sated. ]
have fun.
[ And with that, the eye closes and disappears in a flash of light. ]
Really? That’s boring. Or is it exciting? Oh well, he’s got bigger fish to fry, bigger buttons to mess with, and bigger levers to flick!
He pressed a button on his arm, and from a slit poured a hologram of a control panel. Communicators were simply a waste of time and space when he could just have one built into his arm. Annnd with a click he was whisked away to the Hermitcraft server.
Martyn opened his eyes to find himself in The Nether, for whatever reason. Stupid spawn point in his opinion, but who was he to judge? Luckily there was a portal already set up a few blocks away, so he was able to escape before any harm was done.
As much as he wanted to visit his friends, see how Ren ‘n Mumbo were getting on, he wanted to see the machine slightly more. He kept away from the builds and civilisation, opting to trek through forests and mountains solely to avoid people, yes, he’s aware he’s everyone’s favourite person but unfortunately he’s got places to be!
Talk about obvious much, whoever’s machine it was it was right under their base. Martyn found himself in some cave of ice, deepslate, and snow, at least they went the part of making it look cool.
And where was the machine? As far as he was concerned this was just some fancy cave. That was until he noticed the array of levers, accompanied by player heads, player heads he recognised, creepy much. There was even a lever for him, which had been weirdly painted over with an ‘X’. He quickly broke it, if they wanted to do anything against him with this machine, he’d have them make a new lever as his ‘fuck you’. But then he spotted a clear gap where a lever probably should’ve went, and maybe someone had the same idea as him?
The Eye did tell him to try it out… he placed the lever in the gap and flicked it.
@docs-mailbox
At first, the damage didn’t seem so out of place.
Being in a sparsely lit cave, skeletons and such were bound to pop up here and there. An annoying occurrence, being taken out of the flow state and needing to pause his quest to gather building blocks, sure. But nothing out of the ordinary.
…and that’s when he notices how empty the cave is.
No chinks in his armor. No arrows poking out. The only living creatures in this place are bats, who are haphazardly flying into lava because of course they are.
And it couldn’t have been hunger either. He just had a golden carrot minutes prior, frankly he had no idea what this could—
…
Goddamn it.
You whisper to renthedog: ha ha very funny dude You whisper to renthedog: turn it off
Just to be safe, Doc pours the contents of his inventory into his ender chest. There’s potions in a shulker. If all goes well, he could maybe hold over for a good… five… minutes?
It feels like wading through a bed of roses.
@rendogs-mailbox
[the buzz of his comm wakes the mage up from his nap, and he rolls off his mattress of the floor situation to try and find where he left it. He’s quick with it, even half asleep, just in case it’s a hermit who needs help with getting their stuff back or something]
You whisper to docm77: turn what off
You whisper to docm77: dude im at home what are you talking about
Okay, so just one doesn’t seem to do much, not yet. What if he turned on another? Sorry Pearl, you’re being sacrificed for the sake of science.
He moved over to her lever and flicked it.
And his heart sank.
You whisper to renthedog: oh you gots to be kidding me YOU RENOT AT THE MACHINE?
It couldn’t have been a stray breeze charge. Even if he hadn’t patched that, he’d taken down his own lever, so in any case the machine malfunctioning shouldn’t do anything to him.
The only actual counter would be if—
You whisper to renthedog: oh my god someone must have gotten in.
To put it lightly, the stress doesn’t help the pain.
You whisper to renthedog: important question. did you or did you not drink the milk before taking the invisibility
It dawns on him that it’s probably not a good idea to continue at this conversation in the cave, with the risk of death on the horizon and all. So, he puts all his stuff (save for his armor) in an ender chest, and…
‹Docm77› sorry in advance. there will be my death messages in chat. i am just testing something
[the message properly wakes him up, the realization of what doc is talking about finally hitting him. The machine. The second message that comes up makes it worse - someone was there. He checks the main chat, stomach twisting when he sees pearl’s death messages pop up. Oh this isn’t good]
[as the third message from Doc pings its notification, his heart stops for a second. Fuck, he didn’t even think about that. Did someone follow him? Was he that much of a dumbass that he couldn’t even follow the simple order to keep the machine hidden? This is the kind of dumb mistake only he would have the ability to make, and it’s even worse that this mistake happened because his husband trusted him too much. God, he was never going to get that trust back]
You whisper to Docm77: I cant remember D:
You whisper to Docm77: im so sorry dude this is fully my fault
[guilt has spiralled into a pit in his stomach, and his tail tucks as he hurries to get his armour on, ready to run out and help the moment he’s told to]
You whisper to renthedog: i cant ev;3;n be mad at you it’s you
Which is what makes it so frustrating to be in this predicament in the first place.
You whisper to renthedog: we talk later .if you canremember how to get to it just turn off my lever because i probably will not be much help right now so it is uo to you. got tha?t
The stinging is getting intense. He couldn’t possibly muster up the energy to actually leave the server under all this stress.
You whisper to renthedog: keep FOCUS on the MACHINE i am FINE IGNORE THE DEATH MESSAGES ok? xoxoxo
And the armor goes in the Ender chest, and…
Docm77 was killed while trying to hurt Wrath of the GOAT!
So Doc’s dying too? Thankfully no one’s around to see Martyn grin. He doesn’t hate the guy, not really, but… he’s not all that upset that he’s also dying. He cackled to himself, it’s not his fault Doc was stupid enough to only break his lever, and not the entire machine.
Unless it’s his machine. Doc is the only guy insane enough to make something like this, and it’d make sense that he only broke his own lever…
So, in short, Martyn was absolutely screwed in the near future.
Surely Doc wouldn’t have a lever to hurt Ren, right? What if Ren’s done something else or was a killswitch? Only one way to find out. He flicked Ren’s lever.
[He's made it to the nether, hurrying through the tunnels, trying to get to doc's base. no invisibility potions this time, if people already know where it is, whats the point?]
[he doesn't remember which way it is to doc's portal, and his panic isn't making his already terrible sense of direction any better. finally he gathers up the ability to check his comm - death message after death message makes the guilt in his chest worse, watching doc and pearl die over and over because he hadnt been careful enough going to doc's - scrolling up to try and find the coordinates doc had given him a few days ago. just as he reaches the message, pain hits him, and he looks down at his health bar to see he'd taken damage]
[he glances around quickly, searching for the cause - he cant see any piglins, hoglins, ghasts, there isnt even a skeleton. but there is another tick of damage, and he's regretting not having better armour.]
[it takes too long for it to click what's happening, despite the fact it should be obvious. somewhere in his mind, he knows, but his brain tries to convince him that doc wouldnt have left that lever - surely that isnt what is hurting ren, just some mob. the nether was dangerous after all. it really only clicks just before the last heart goes, and then he's waking up on his mattress, death message in the chat and damage hitting him faster now without his armour]
Renthedog was killed while trying to hurt Wrath of the GOAT!
Oh, oh no. Martyn immediately flicks it off, although he spares a moment to snort to himself. Why would Doc even make that lever? Absolutely idiot.
[he sits on his mattress for a few minutes, waiting for more damage. when nothing comes, he's back on his feet, rushing to the door]
[his comm slips from his pocket as he stands up - surely that wont come with any consequences, right?]
[back to the nether he runs, rushing into the tunnel to doc's portal - or at least, he's pretty sure that its doc's tunnel. he passes portal after portal, none looking like the one he's looking for- wait. where is he?]
[this isnt looking good.]
Martyn hadn’t paid much mind to the lectern beside where his lever had been, however now he found himself flicking through the book and quill. His hands gradually grasped the book tighter, and his teeth ground together.
So Doc had tested it on him, and it hadn’t worked? Tough fuckin’ luck, because it worked just fine on Doc, and Martyn planned to leave it like such until it was turned off by someone besides him. Using the quill, he scribbled a suspicious oval connected to two circles over the first page of notes, and just for good measure added a tiny among us figure. Fuck you, Doc. He pressed a few buttons on his arm, warping away from the server (and forgetting that Pearl was trapped in the loop too).
[ A presence appears next to Martyn. ]
ahem...
martyn inthelittlewood. we have a message for you.
upon the server hermitcraft
(with its horde of daft riffraff)
far away and very deep
a fabulous device does sleep
go, and try it on the horde
and we promise dear reward
1128 -42 2773
proceed forward
@tales-mailbox
Martyn was bored, the kind of boredom that ate away at you, leaving you itching and agonising. Not that he was doing much to curb that boredom.
Luckily, the answer to said agony seemed to appear right beside him. He startled a little, turning to see an eye? An eye that appeared to be speaking to him, so he really should be listening—
A device for him to mess with already? It really was his lucky day! Unless that was yesterday… how many lucky days can someone have? Ooh, and some coordinates! Although he does like a good hunt on occasion, the Hermitcraft server is vast, and the hermits are weirdly good at hiding their stuff (not good enough though, ha!). And with a promise of reward, you could count him right in.
“Thank ya eye-“ Likely a Watcher, actually “- Is the reward my boredom being stopped for… maybe a day or so? Or is there a different reward in mind?”
you'll find out.
[ She may not have actually... come up with anything yet. She'll think of something narratively satisfying once her hunger's been sated. ]
have fun.
[ And with that, the eye closes and disappears in a flash of light. ]
Really? That’s boring. Or is it exciting? Oh well, he’s got bigger fish to fry, bigger buttons to mess with, and bigger levers to flick!
He pressed a button on his arm, and from a slit poured a hologram of a control panel. Communicators were simply a waste of time and space when he could just have one built into his arm. Annnd with a click he was whisked away to the Hermitcraft server.
Martyn opened his eyes to find himself in The Nether, for whatever reason. Stupid spawn point in his opinion, but who was he to judge? Luckily there was a portal already set up a few blocks away, so he was able to escape before any harm was done.
As much as he wanted to visit his friends, see how Ren ‘n Mumbo were getting on, he wanted to see the machine slightly more. He kept away from the builds and civilisation, opting to trek through forests and mountains solely to avoid people, yes, he’s aware he’s everyone’s favourite person but unfortunately he’s got places to be!
Talk about obvious much, whoever’s machine it was it was right under their base. Martyn found himself in some cave of ice, deepslate, and snow, at least they went the part of making it look cool.
And where was the machine? As far as he was concerned this was just some fancy cave. That was until he noticed the array of levers, accompanied by player heads, player heads he recognised, creepy much. There was even a lever for him, which had been weirdly painted over with an ‘X’. He quickly broke it, if they wanted to do anything against him with this machine, he’d have them make a new lever as his ‘fuck you’. But then he spotted a clear gap where a lever probably should’ve went, and maybe someone had the same idea as him?
The Eye did tell him to try it out… he placed the lever in the gap and flicked it.
@docs-mailbox
At first, the damage didn’t seem so out of place.
Being in a sparsely lit cave, skeletons and such were bound to pop up here and there. An annoying occurrence, being taken out of the flow state and needing to pause his quest to gather building blocks, sure. But nothing out of the ordinary.
…and that’s when he notices how empty the cave is.
No chinks in his armor. No arrows poking out. The only living creatures in this place are bats, who are haphazardly flying into lava because of course they are.
And it couldn’t have been hunger either. He just had a golden carrot minutes prior, frankly he had no idea what this could—
…
Goddamn it.
You whisper to renthedog: ha ha very funny dude You whisper to renthedog: turn it off
Just to be safe, Doc pours the contents of his inventory into his ender chest. There’s potions in a shulker. If all goes well, he could maybe hold over for a good… five… minutes?
It feels like wading through a bed of roses.
@rendogs-mailbox
[the buzz of his comm wakes the mage up from his nap, and he rolls off his mattress of the floor situation to try and find where he left it. He’s quick with it, even half asleep, just in case it’s a hermit who needs help with getting their stuff back or something]
You whisper to docm77: turn what off
You whisper to docm77: dude im at home what are you talking about
Okay, so just one doesn’t seem to do much, not yet. What if he turned on another? Sorry Pearl, you’re being sacrificed for the sake of science.
He moved over to her lever and flicked it.
And his heart sank.
You whisper to renthedog: oh you gots to be kidding me YOU RENOT AT THE MACHINE?
It couldn’t have been a stray breeze charge. Even if he hadn’t patched that, he’d taken down his own lever, so in any case the machine malfunctioning shouldn’t do anything to him.
The only actual counter would be if—
You whisper to renthedog: oh my god someone must have gotten in.
To put it lightly, the stress doesn’t help the pain.
You whisper to renthedog: important question. did you or did you not drink the milk before taking the invisibility
It dawns on him that it’s probably not a good idea to continue at this conversation in the cave, with the risk of death on the horizon and all. So, he puts all his stuff (save for his armor) in an ender chest, and…
‹Docm77› sorry in advance. there will be my death messages in chat. i am just testing something
[the message properly wakes him up, the realization of what doc is talking about finally hitting him. The machine. The second message that comes up makes it worse - someone was there. He checks the main chat, stomach twisting when he sees pearl’s death messages pop up. Oh this isn’t good]
[as the third message from Doc pings its notification, his heart stops for a second. Fuck, he didn’t even think about that. Did someone follow him? Was he that much of a dumbass that he couldn’t even follow the simple order to keep the machine hidden? This is the kind of dumb mistake only he would have the ability to make, and it’s even worse that this mistake happened because his husband trusted him too much. God, he was never going to get that trust back]
You whisper to Docm77: I cant remember D:
You whisper to Docm77: im so sorry dude this is fully my fault
[guilt has spiralled into a pit in his stomach, and his tail tucks as he hurries to get his armour on, ready to run out and help the moment he’s told to]
You whisper to renthedog: i cant ev;3;n be mad at you it’s you
Which is what makes it so frustrating to be in this predicament in the first place.
You whisper to renthedog: we talk later .if you canremember how to get to it just turn off my lever because i probably will not be much help right now so it is uo to you. got tha?t
The stinging is getting intense. He couldn’t possibly muster up the energy to actually leave the server under all this stress.
You whisper to renthedog: keep FOCUS on the MACHINE i am FINE IGNORE THE DEATH MESSAGES ok? xoxoxo
And the armor goes in the Ender chest, and…
Docm77 was killed while trying to hurt Wrath of the GOAT!
So Doc’s dying too? Thankfully no one’s around to see Martyn grin. He doesn’t hate the guy, not really, but… he’s not all that upset that he’s also dying. He cackled to himself, it’s not his fault Doc was stupid enough to only break his lever, and not the entire machine.
Unless it’s his machine. Doc is the only guy insane enough to make something like this, and it’d make sense that he only broke his own lever…
So, in short, Martyn was absolutely screwed in the near future.
Surely Doc wouldn’t have a lever to hurt Ren, right? What if Ren’s done something else or was a killswitch? Only one way to find out. He flicked Ren’s lever.
[He's made it to the nether, hurrying through the tunnels, trying to get to doc's base. no invisibility potions this time, if people already know where it is, whats the point?]
[he doesn't remember which way it is to doc's portal, and his panic isn't making his already terrible sense of direction any better. finally he gathers up the ability to check his comm - death message after death message makes the guilt in his chest worse, watching doc and pearl die over and over because he hadnt been careful enough going to doc's - scrolling up to try and find the coordinates doc had given him a few days ago. just as he reaches the message, pain hits him, and he looks down at his health bar to see he'd taken damage]
[he glances around quickly, searching for the cause - he cant see any piglins, hoglins, ghasts, there isnt even a skeleton. but there is another tick of damage, and he's regretting not having better armour.]
[it takes too long for it to click what's happening, despite the fact it should be obvious. somewhere in his mind, he knows, but his brain tries to convince him that doc wouldnt have left that lever - surely that isnt what is hurting ren, just some mob. the nether was dangerous after all. it really only clicks just before the last heart goes, and then he's waking up on his mattress, death message in the chat and damage hitting him faster now without his armour]
Renthedog was killed while trying to hurt Wrath of the GOAT!
Oh, oh no. Martyn immediately flicks it off, although he spares a moment to snort to himself. Why would Doc even make that lever? Absolutely idiot.
[ A presence appears next to Martyn. ]
ahem...
martyn inthelittlewood. we have a message for you.
upon the server hermitcraft
(with its horde of daft riffraff)
far away and very deep
a fabulous device does sleep
go, and try it on the horde
and we promise dear reward
1128 -42 2773
proceed forward
@tales-mailbox
Martyn was bored, the kind of boredom that ate away at you, leaving you itching and agonising. Not that he was doing much to curb that boredom.
Luckily, the answer to said agony seemed to appear right beside him. He startled a little, turning to see an eye? An eye that appeared to be speaking to him, so he really should be listening—
A device for him to mess with already? It really was his lucky day! Unless that was yesterday… how many lucky days can someone have? Ooh, and some coordinates! Although he does like a good hunt on occasion, the Hermitcraft server is vast, and the hermits are weirdly good at hiding their stuff (not good enough though, ha!). And with a promise of reward, you could count him right in.
“Thank ya eye-“ Likely a Watcher, actually “- Is the reward my boredom being stopped for… maybe a day or so? Or is there a different reward in mind?”
you'll find out.
[ She may not have actually... come up with anything yet. She'll think of something narratively satisfying once her hunger's been sated. ]
have fun.
[ And with that, the eye closes and disappears in a flash of light. ]
Really? That’s boring. Or is it exciting? Oh well, he’s got bigger fish to fry, bigger buttons to mess with, and bigger levers to flick!
He pressed a button on his arm, and from a slit poured a hologram of a control panel. Communicators were simply a waste of time and space when he could just have one built into his arm. Annnd with a click he was whisked away to the Hermitcraft server.
Martyn opened his eyes to find himself in The Nether, for whatever reason. Stupid spawn point in his opinion, but who was he to judge? Luckily there was a portal already set up a few blocks away, so he was able to escape before any harm was done.
As much as he wanted to visit his friends, see how Ren ‘n Mumbo were getting on, he wanted to see the machine slightly more. He kept away from the builds and civilisation, opting to trek through forests and mountains solely to avoid people, yes, he’s aware he’s everyone’s favourite person but unfortunately he’s got places to be!
Talk about obvious much, whoever’s machine it was it was right under their base. Martyn found himself in some cave of ice, deepslate, and snow, at least they went the part of making it look cool.
And where was the machine? As far as he was concerned this was just some fancy cave. That was until he noticed the array of levers, accompanied by player heads, player heads he recognised, creepy much. There was even a lever for him, which had been weirdly painted over with an ‘X’. He quickly broke it, if they wanted to do anything against him with this machine, he’d have them make a new lever as his ‘fuck you’. But then he spotted a clear gap where a lever probably should’ve went, and maybe someone had the same idea as him?
The Eye did tell him to try it out… he placed the lever in the gap and flicked it.
@docs-mailbox
At first, the damage didn’t seem so out of place.
Being in a sparsely lit cave, skeletons and such were bound to pop up here and there. An annoying occurrence, being taken out of the flow state and needing to pause his quest to gather building blocks, sure. But nothing out of the ordinary.
…and that’s when he notices how empty the cave is.
No chinks in his armor. No arrows poking out. The only living creatures in this place are bats, who are haphazardly flying into lava because of course they are.
And it couldn’t have been hunger either. He just had a golden carrot minutes prior, frankly he had no idea what this could—
…
Goddamn it.
You whisper to renthedog: ha ha very funny dude You whisper to renthedog: turn it off
Just to be safe, Doc pours the contents of his inventory into his ender chest. There’s potions in a shulker. If all goes well, he could maybe hold over for a good… five… minutes?
It feels like wading through a bed of roses.
@rendogs-mailbox
[the buzz of his comm wakes the mage up from his nap, and he rolls off his mattress of the floor situation to try and find where he left it. He’s quick with it, even half asleep, just in case it’s a hermit who needs help with getting their stuff back or something]
You whisper to docm77: turn what off
You whisper to docm77: dude im at home what are you talking about
Okay, so just one doesn’t seem to do much, not yet. What if he turned on another? Sorry Pearl, you’re being sacrificed for the sake of science.
He moved over to her lever and flicked it.
And his heart sank.
You whisper to renthedog: oh you gots to be kidding me YOU RENOT AT THE MACHINE?
It couldn’t have been a stray breeze charge. Even if he hadn’t patched that, he’d taken down his own lever, so in any case the machine malfunctioning shouldn’t do anything to him.
The only actual counter would be if—
You whisper to renthedog: oh my god someone must have gotten in.
To put it lightly, the stress doesn’t help the pain.
You whisper to renthedog: important question. did you or did you not drink the milk before taking the invisibility
It dawns on him that it’s probably not a good idea to continue at this conversation in the cave, with the risk of death on the horizon and all. So, he puts all his stuff (save for his armor) in an ender chest, and…
‹Docm77› sorry in advance. there will be my death messages in chat. i am just testing something
[the message properly wakes him up, the realization of what doc is talking about finally hitting him. The machine. The second message that comes up makes it worse - someone was there. He checks the main chat, stomach twisting when he sees pearl’s death messages pop up. Oh this isn’t good]
[as the third message from Doc pings its notification, his heart stops for a second. Fuck, he didn’t even think about that. Did someone follow him? Was he that much of a dumbass that he couldn’t even follow the simple order to keep the machine hidden? This is the kind of dumb mistake only he would have the ability to make, and it’s even worse that this mistake happened because his husband trusted him too much. God, he was never going to get that trust back]
You whisper to Docm77: I cant remember D:
You whisper to Docm77: im so sorry dude this is fully my fault
[guilt has spiralled into a pit in his stomach, and his tail tucks as he hurries to get his armour on, ready to run out and help the moment he’s told to]
You whisper to renthedog: i cant ev;3;n be mad at you it’s you
Which is what makes it so frustrating to be in this predicament in the first place.
You whisper to renthedog: we talk later .if you canremember how to get to it just turn off my lever because i probably will not be much help right now so it is uo to you. got tha?t
The stinging is getting intense. He couldn’t possibly muster up the energy to actually leave the server under all this stress.
You whisper to renthedog: keep FOCUS on the MACHINE i am FINE IGNORE THE DEATH MESSAGES ok? xoxoxo
And the armor goes in the Ender chest, and…
Docm77 was killed while trying to hurt Wrath of the GOAT!
So Doc’s dying too? Thankfully no one’s around to see Martyn grin. He doesn’t hate the guy, not really, but… he’s not all that upset that he’s also dying. He cackled to himself, it’s not his fault Doc was stupid enough to only break his lever, and not the entire machine.
Unless it’s his machine. Doc is the only guy insane enough to make something like this, and it’d make sense that he only broke his own lever…
So, in short, Martyn was absolutely screwed in the near future.
Surely Doc wouldn’t have a lever to hurt Ren, right? What if Ren’s done something else or was a killswitch? Only one way to find out. He flicked Ren’s lever.
[ It starts with Pearl minding her own business, gathering materials for the bridge Gem asked her to build. ]
[ It's walking back towards its firetrucks with a brimming inventory when a twinge of pain passes through its whole body. And another, and another. ]
[ She's losing health, fast. ]
[ It can't see or smell the source. It's all alone out here. It can't tell what's wrong, but it hurts– ]
PearlescentMoon was killed while trying to hurt Wrath of the GOAT!
[ She awakes, sprawled out on top of her truck, the throbbing spasm continuing to wrack her body. She gets up, trying to rush back to her dropped items– ]
PearlescentMoon was killed while trying to hurt Wrath of the GOAT!
[ It's back on the truck again. ]
[ She's not even half as concerned by how much it hurts as she is that all that hard work is going to go to waste. ]
[ It gets up– ]
PearlescentMoon was killed while trying to hurt Wrath of the GOAT!
[ Fuck. ]
[ Pearl picks up her communicator and sends out a desperate message. ]
You whispered to GeminiTay: my stuff
You whispered to GeminiTay: help
PearlescentMoon was killed while trying to hurt Wrath of the GOAT!
Oh, so that’s what those levers do.
And of course, it didn’t occur to him that he could turn the lever off.
[ A presence appears next to Martyn. ]
ahem...
martyn inthelittlewood. we have a message for you.
upon the server hermitcraft
(with its horde of daft riffraff)
far away and very deep
a fabulous device does sleep
go, and try it on the horde
and we promise dear reward
1128 -42 2773
proceed forward
@tales-mailbox
Martyn was bored, the kind of boredom that ate away at you, leaving you itching and agonising. Not that he was doing much to curb that boredom.
Luckily, the answer to said agony seemed to appear right beside him. He startled a little, turning to see an eye? An eye that appeared to be speaking to him, so he really should be listening—
A device for him to mess with already? It really was his lucky day! Unless that was yesterday… how many lucky days can someone have? Ooh, and some coordinates! Although he does like a good hunt on occasion, the Hermitcraft server is vast, and the hermits are weirdly good at hiding their stuff (not good enough though, ha!). And with a promise of reward, you could count him right in.
“Thank ya eye-“ Likely a Watcher, actually “- Is the reward my boredom being stopped for… maybe a day or so? Or is there a different reward in mind?”
you'll find out.
[ She may not have actually... come up with anything yet. She'll think of something narratively satisfying once her hunger's been sated. ]
have fun.
[ And with that, the eye closes and disappears in a flash of light. ]
Really? That’s boring. Or is it exciting? Oh well, he’s got bigger fish to fry, bigger buttons to mess with, and bigger levers to flick!
He pressed a button on his arm, and from a slit poured a hologram of a control panel. Communicators were simply a waste of time and space when he could just have one built into his arm. Annnd with a click he was whisked away to the Hermitcraft server.
Martyn opened his eyes to find himself in The Nether, for whatever reason. Stupid spawn point in his opinion, but who was he to judge? Luckily there was a portal already set up a few blocks away, so he was able to escape before any harm was done.
As much as he wanted to visit his friends, see how Ren ‘n Mumbo were getting on, he wanted to see the machine slightly more. He kept away from the builds and civilisation, opting to trek through forests and mountains solely to avoid people, yes, he’s aware he’s everyone’s favourite person but unfortunately he’s got places to be!
Talk about obvious much, whoever’s machine it was it was right under their base. Martyn found himself in some cave of ice, deepslate, and snow, at least they went the part of making it look cool.
And where was the machine? As far as he was concerned this was just some fancy cave. That was until he noticed the array of levers, accompanied by player heads, player heads he recognised, creepy much. There was even a lever for him, which had been weirdly painted over with an ‘X’. He quickly broke it, if they wanted to do anything against him with this machine, he’d have them make a new lever as his ‘fuck you’. But then he spotted a clear gap where a lever probably should’ve went, and maybe someone had the same idea as him?
The Eye did tell him to try it out… he placed the lever in the gap and flicked it.
@docs-mailbox
At first, the damage didn’t seem so out of place.
Being in a sparsely lit cave, skeletons and such were bound to pop up here and there. An annoying occurrence, being taken out of the flow state and needing to pause his quest to gather building blocks, sure. But nothing out of the ordinary.
…and that’s when he notices how empty the cave is.
No chinks in his armor. No arrows poking out. The only living creatures in this place are bats, who are haphazardly flying into lava because of course they are.
And it couldn’t have been hunger either. He just had a golden carrot minutes prior, frankly he had no idea what this could—
…
Goddamn it.
You whisper to renthedog: ha ha very funny dude You whisper to renthedog: turn it off
Just to be safe, Doc pours the contents of his inventory into his ender chest. There’s potions in a shulker. If all goes well, he could maybe hold over for a good… five… minutes?
It feels like wading through a bed of roses.
@rendogs-mailbox
[the buzz of his comm wakes the mage up from his nap, and he rolls off his mattress of the floor situation to try and find where he left it. He’s quick with it, even half asleep, just in case it’s a hermit who needs help with getting their stuff back or something]
You whisper to docm77: turn what off
You whisper to docm77: dude im at home what are you talking about
Okay, so just one doesn’t seem to do much, not yet. What if he turned on another? Sorry Pearl, you’re being sacrificed for the sake of science.
He moved over to her lever and flicked it.

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[ A presence appears next to Martyn. ]
ahem...
martyn inthelittlewood. we have a message for you.
upon the server hermitcraft
(with its horde of daft riffraff)
far away and very deep
a fabulous device does sleep
go, and try it on the horde
and we promise dear reward
1128 -42 2773
proceed forward
@tales-mailbox
Martyn was bored, the kind of boredom that ate away at you, leaving you itching and agonising. Not that he was doing much to curb that boredom.
Luckily, the answer to said agony seemed to appear right beside him. He startled a little, turning to see an eye? An eye that appeared to be speaking to him, so he really should be listening—
A device for him to mess with already? It really was his lucky day! Unless that was yesterday… how many lucky days can someone have? Ooh, and some coordinates! Although he does like a good hunt on occasion, the Hermitcraft server is vast, and the hermits are weirdly good at hiding their stuff (not good enough though, ha!). And with a promise of reward, you could count him right in.
“Thank ya eye-“ Likely a Watcher, actually “- Is the reward my boredom being stopped for… maybe a day or so? Or is there a different reward in mind?”
you'll find out.
[ She may not have actually... come up with anything yet. She'll think of something narratively satisfying once her hunger's been sated. ]
have fun.
[ And with that, the eye closes and disappears in a flash of light. ]
Really? That’s boring. Or is it exciting? Oh well, he’s got bigger fish to fry, bigger buttons to mess with, and bigger levers to flick!
He pressed a button on his arm, and from a slit poured a hologram of a control panel. Communicators were simply a waste of time and space when he could just have one built into his arm. Annnd with a click he was whisked away to the Hermitcraft server.
Martyn opened his eyes to find himself in The Nether, for whatever reason. Stupid spawn point in his opinion, but who was he to judge? Luckily there was a portal already set up a few blocks away, so he was able to escape before any harm was done.
As much as he wanted to visit his friends, see how Ren ‘n Mumbo were getting on, he wanted to see the machine slightly more. He kept away from the builds and civilisation, opting to trek through forests and mountains solely to avoid people, yes, he’s aware he’s everyone’s favourite person but unfortunately he’s got places to be!
Talk about obvious much, whoever’s machine it was it was right under their base. Martyn found himself in some cave of ice, deepslate, and snow, at least they went the part of making it look cool.
And where was the machine? As far as he was concerned this was just some fancy cave. That was until he noticed the array of levers, accompanied by player heads, player heads he recognised, creepy much. There was even a lever for him, which had been weirdly painted over with an ‘X’. He quickly broke it, if they wanted to do anything against him with this machine, he’d have them make a new lever as his ‘fuck you’. But then he spotted a clear gap where a lever probably should’ve went, and maybe someone had the same idea as him?
The Eye did tell him to try it out… he placed the lever in the gap and flicked it.
@docs-mailbox
[ A presence appears next to Martyn. ]
ahem...
martyn inthelittlewood. we have a message for you.
upon the server hermitcraft
(with its horde of daft riffraff)
far away and very deep
a fabulous device does sleep
go, and try it on the horde
and we promise dear reward
1128 -42 2773
proceed forward
@tales-mailbox
Martyn was bored, the kind of boredom that ate away at you, leaving you itching and agonising. Not that he was doing much to curb that boredom.
Luckily, the answer to said agony seemed to appear right beside him. He startled a little, turning to see an eye? An eye that appeared to be speaking to him, so he really should be listening—
A device for him to mess with already? It really was his lucky day! Unless that was yesterday… how many lucky days can someone have? Ooh, and some coordinates! Although he does like a good hunt on occasion, the Hermitcraft server is vast, and the hermits are weirdly good at hiding their stuff (not good enough though, ha!). And with a promise of reward, you could count him right in.
“Thank ya eye-“ Likely a Watcher, actually “- Is the reward my boredom being stopped for… maybe a day or so? Or is there a different reward in mind?”
you'll find out.
[ She may not have actually... come up with anything yet. She'll think of something narratively satisfying once her hunger's been sated. ]
have fun.
[ And with that, the eye closes and disappears in a flash of light. ]
Really? That’s boring. Or is it exciting? Oh well, he’s got bigger fish to fry, bigger buttons to mess with, and bigger levers to flick!
He pressed a button on his arm, and from a slit poured a hologram of a control panel. Communicators were simply a waste of time and space when he could just have one built into his arm. Annnd with a click he was whisked away to the Hermitcraft server.
Martyn opened his eyes to find himself in The Nether, for whatever reason. Stupid spawn point in his opinion, but who was he to judge? Luckily there was a portal already set up a few blocks away, so he was able to escape before any harm was done.
As much as he wanted to visit his friends, see how Ren ‘n Mumbo were getting on, he wanted to see the machine slightly more. He kept away from the builds and civilisation, opting to trek through forests and mountains solely to avoid people, yes, he’s aware he’s everyone’s favourite person but unfortunately he’s got places to be!
[ A presence appears next to Martyn. ]
ahem...
martyn inthelittlewood. we have a message for you.
upon the server hermitcraft
(with its horde of daft riffraff)
far away and very deep
a fabulous device does sleep
go, and try it on the horde
and we promise dear reward
1128 -42 2773
proceed forward
@tales-mailbox
Martyn was bored, the kind of boredom that ate away at you, leaving you itching and agonising. Not that he was doing much to curb that boredom.
Luckily, the answer to said agony seemed to appear right beside him. He startled a little, turning to see an eye? An eye that appeared to be speaking to him, so he really should be listening—
A device for him to mess with already? It really was his lucky day! Unless that was yesterday… how many lucky days can someone have? Ooh, and some coordinates! Although he does like a good hunt on occasion, the Hermitcraft server is vast, and the hermits are weirdly good at hiding their stuff (not good enough though, ha!). And with a promise of reward, you could count him right in.
“Thank ya eye-“ Likely a Watcher, actually “- Is the reward my boredom being stopped for… maybe a day or so? Or is there a different reward in mind?”
Ahasbands for twt oomf