THE DATASTREAM

you– you stupid, snivelling hound! i wasn't done with that yet! i'll– i'll make you rue the day you were born, you and your asinine spouse to boot!

@tales-mailbox

[His body freezes before he even knows what is happening, dropping the blocks he had been holding. For a man preparing to be a powerful wizard, he doesn't seem to be able to put up much of a fight]

[Ren stares up at the eyes, a shiver running down his spine. He wants to run, but there's nowhere he can go when stuck like this]

"H- Hello to you too?"

[He tries to fall back on humour, keeping his tone of voice happy]

auuugggghhhhhhhhh!

[ more of the figure reveals itself; bristling tails, shaking fist, a stomping foot under billowing robes. ]

I’m sorry? What did I ruin-

i hate you! i hate all of you! i hate your whole, miserable little server! i hate everything!

/kill Renthedog

/kill Renthedog

/kill Renthedog

[Ouch]

[Youch]

[He doesn’t get time to grab his things between respawns, already hit by another death by the time he returns. He sits there in his bed for a minute, waiting to see if she’ll kill him again]

[When another death doesn’t come, he gets up quickly, grabbing his things and pulling out his sword. The pathetic diamond against a creature who can use commands doesn’t seem like a fight he’d win, but it’s better than nothing]

don't you touch me!

[He grips his sword tighter, keeping it ready to attack if she moves away closer]

[He isn’t sure if he should call someone. Who would even be able to help? Maybe he deserved this. He fucked so many things up recently that at least he’ll get proper consequences for one of them]

[ She stands up, dusting her hands off almost nonchalantly. as if he was ever a threat to me. A hysterical giggle spills from her lips. ]

you think i would willingly debase myself to pretend i was on equal grounds with the likes of you?

well i'm not! i'm better than you! i am! i am! i am!

[his first idea is to call doc. that ends the moment he opens his contact and sees those past messages. he cant bother him right now.]

[he send a message to martyn instead. he needs to talk to him anyway]

You whisper to InTheLittleWood: hey if you arent busy are you able to come help me You whisper to InTheLittleWood: theres just a mildly insane pair of eyes in my house :D:D:D:D:D:D if you are busy i can handle it

[okay back to the possibly insane lady in his house. he looks up at her again, sword still ready to attack]

yeah, youre better than me dude, uh huh.. we can still talk about it..?

and you, you simpering fool– stay out of this!

you– you stupid, snivelling hound! i wasn't done with that yet! i'll– i'll make you rue the day you were born, you and your asinine spouse to boot!

@tales-mailbox

[His body freezes before he even knows what is happening, dropping the blocks he had been holding. For a man preparing to be a powerful wizard, he doesn't seem to be able to put up much of a fight]

[Ren stares up at the eyes, a shiver running down his spine. He wants to run, but there's nowhere he can go when stuck like this]

"H- Hello to you too?"

[He tries to fall back on humour, keeping his tone of voice happy]

auuugggghhhhhhhhh!

[ more of the figure reveals itself; bristling tails, shaking fist, a stomping foot under billowing robes. ]

I’m sorry? What did I ruin-

i hate you! i hate all of you! i hate your whole, miserable little server! i hate everything!

/kill Renthedog

/kill Renthedog

/kill Renthedog

[Ouch]

[Youch]

[He doesn’t get time to grab his things between respawns, already hit by another death by the time he returns. He sits there in his bed for a minute, waiting to see if she’ll kill him again]

[When another death doesn’t come, he gets up quickly, grabbing his things and pulling out his sword. The pathetic diamond against a creature who can use commands doesn’t seem like a fight he’d win, but it’s better than nothing]

don't you touch me!

[He grips his sword tighter, keeping it ready to attack if she moves away closer]

[He isn’t sure if he should call someone. Who would even be able to help? Maybe he deserved this. He fucked so many things up recently that at least he’ll get proper consequences for one of them]

[ She stands up, dusting her hands off almost nonchalantly. as if he was ever a threat to me. A hysterical giggle spills from her lips. ]

you think i would willingly debase myself to pretend i was on equal grounds with the likes of you?

well i'm not! i'm better than you! i am! i am! i am!

[his first idea is to call doc. that ends the moment he opens his contact and sees those past messages. he cant bother him right now.]

[he send a message to martyn instead. he needs to talk to him anyway]

You whisper to InTheLittleWood: hey if you arent busy are you able to come help me You whisper to InTheLittleWood: theres just a mildly insane pair of eyes in my house :D:D:D:D:D:D if you are busy i can handle it

[okay back to the possibly insane lady in his house. he looks up at her again, sword still ready to attack]

yeah, youre better than me dude, uh huh.. we can still talk about it..?

leaving so soon? you're better than that.

are you afraid of a little spat?

chaos and fear are what we desire

so...

so

so get back in there. i'm hungry. do you want that reward or not?

Martyn sighed, the eye was back?

make it happen, snivelling little whelp–

[ Martyn is dropped roughly to the ground. ]

Man… his friends were gonna hate him after this! How was he supposed to explain some Watcher put him upto this, because putting a bunch of his friends into a death loop is the type of thing Martyn would do unprompted.

He made his way back into the machine, he’d worry about his relationships later, for now he just needed to flick a few more levers.

Sorry Gem, Zed, and Mumbo, he just hoped that would be enough levers. He momentarily entertained the idea of turning off Doc’s and Pearl’s, but Doc deserved it, and he wasn’t really in the mood for being cursed by a Watcher today, so also sorry to Pearl.

ahem...

martyn inthelittlewood. we have a message for you.

upon the server hermitcraft

(with its horde of daft riffraff)

far away and very deep

a fabulous device does sleep

go, and try it on the horde

and we promise dear reward

1128 -42 2773

proceed forward

@tales-mailbox

Martyn was bored, the kind of boredom that ate away at you, leaving you itching and agonising. Not that he was doing much to curb that boredom.

Luckily, the answer to said agony seemed to appear right beside him. He startled a little, turning to see an eye? An eye that appeared to be speaking to him, so he really should be listening—

A device for him to mess with already? It really was his lucky day! Unless that was yesterday… how many lucky days can someone have? Ooh, and some coordinates! Although he does like a good hunt on occasion, the Hermitcraft server is vast, and the hermits are weirdly good at hiding their stuff (not good enough though, ha!). And with a promise of reward, you could count him right in.

[ She may not have actually... come up with anything yet. She'll think of something narratively satisfying once her hunger's been sated. ]

have fun.

He pressed a button on his arm, and from a slit poured a hologram of a control panel. Communicators were simply a waste of time and space when he could just have one built into his arm. Annnd with a click he was whisked away to the Hermitcraft server.

Martyn opened his eyes to find himself in The Nether, for whatever reason. Stupid spawn point in his opinion, but who was he to judge? Luckily there was a portal already set up a few blocks away, so he was able to escape before any harm was done.

And where was the machine? As far as he was concerned this was just some fancy cave. That was until he noticed the array of levers, accompanied by player heads, player heads he recognised, creepy much. There was even a lever for him, which had been weirdly painted over with an ‘X’. He quickly broke it, if they wanted to do anything against him with this machine, he’d have them make a new lever as his ‘fuck you’. But then he spotted a clear gap where a lever probably should’ve went, and maybe someone had the same idea as him?

The Eye did tell him to try it out… he placed the lever in the gap and flicked it.

Being in a sparsely lit cave, skeletons and such were bound to pop up here and there. An annoying occurrence, being taken out of the flow state and needing to pause his quest to gather building blocks, sure. But nothing out of the ordinary.

…and that’s when he notices how empty the cave is.

No chinks in his armor. No arrows poking out. The only living creatures in this place are bats, who are haphazardly flying into lava because of course they are.

And it couldn’t have been hunger either. He just had a golden carrot minutes prior, frankly he had no idea what this could—

…

Goddamn it.

You whisper to renthedog: ha ha very funny dude You whisper to renthedog: turn it off

Just to be safe, Doc pours the contents of his inventory into his ender chest. There’s potions in a shulker. If all goes well, he could maybe hold over for a good… five… minutes?

It feels like wading through a bed of roses.

You whisper to docm77: turn what off

You whisper to renthedog: oh you gots to be kidding me YOU RENOT AT THE MACHINE?

It couldn’t have been a stray breeze charge. Even if he hadn’t patched that, he’d taken down his own lever, so in any case the machine malfunctioning shouldn’t do anything to him.

The only actual counter would be if—

You whisper to renthedog: oh my god someone must have gotten in.

To put it lightly, the stress doesn’t help the pain.

You whisper to renthedog: important question. did you or did you not drink the milk before taking the invisibility

It dawns on him that it’s probably not a good idea to continue at this conversation in the cave, with the risk of death on the horizon and all. So, he puts all his stuff (save for his armor) in an ender chest, and…

[as the third message from Doc pings its notification, his heart stops for a second. Fuck, he didn’t even think about that. Did someone follow him? Was he that much of a dumbass that he couldn’t even follow the simple order to keep the machine hidden? This is the kind of dumb mistake only he would have the ability to make, and it’s even worse that this mistake happened because his husband trusted him too much. God, he was never going to get that trust back]

You whisper to Docm77: I cant remember D:

You whisper to Docm77: im so sorry dude this is fully my fault

Which is what makes it so frustrating to be in this predicament in the first place.

You whisper to renthedog: we talk later .if you canremember how to get to it just turn off my lever because i probably will not be much help right now so it is uo to you. got tha?t

The stinging is getting intense. He couldn’t possibly muster up the energy to actually leave the server under all this stress.

You whisper to renthedog: keep FOCUS on the MACHINE i am FINE IGNORE THE DEATH MESSAGES ok? xoxoxo

And the armor goes in the Ender chest, and…

Unless it’s his machine. Doc is the only guy insane enough to make something like this, and it’d make sense that he only broke his own lever…

So, in short, Martyn was absolutely screwed in the near future.

[he doesn't remember which way it is to doc's portal, and his panic isn't making his already terrible sense of direction any better. finally he gathers up the ability to check his comm - death message after death message makes the guilt in his chest worse, watching doc and pearl die over and over because he hadnt been careful enough going to doc's - scrolling up to try and find the coordinates doc had given him a few days ago. just as he reaches the message, pain hits him, and he looks down at his health bar to see he'd taken damage]

[he glances around quickly, searching for the cause - he cant see any piglins, hoglins, ghasts, there isnt even a skeleton. but there is another tick of damage, and he's regretting not having better armour.]

[it takes too long for it to click what's happening, despite the fact it should be obvious. somewhere in his mind, he knows, but his brain tries to convince him that doc wouldnt have left that lever - surely that isnt what is hurting ren, just some mob. the nether was dangerous after all. it really only clicks just before the last heart goes, and then he's waking up on his mattress, death message in the chat and damage hitting him faster now without his armour]

[his comm slips from his pocket as he stands up - surely that wont come with any consequences, right?]

[back to the nether he runs, rushing into the tunnel to doc's portal - or at least, he's pretty sure that its doc's tunnel. he passes portal after portal, none looking like the one he's looking for- wait. where is he?]

ahem...

martyn inthelittlewood. we have a message for you.

upon the server hermitcraft

(with its horde of daft riffraff)

far away and very deep

a fabulous device does sleep

go, and try it on the horde

and we promise dear reward

1128 -42 2773

proceed forward

@tales-mailbox

Martyn was bored, the kind of boredom that ate away at you, leaving you itching and agonising. Not that he was doing much to curb that boredom.

Luckily, the answer to said agony seemed to appear right beside him. He startled a little, turning to see an eye? An eye that appeared to be speaking to him, so he really should be listening—

A device for him to mess with already? It really was his lucky day! Unless that was yesterday… how many lucky days can someone have? Ooh, and some coordinates! Although he does like a good hunt on occasion, the Hermitcraft server is vast, and the hermits are weirdly good at hiding their stuff (not good enough though, ha!). And with a promise of reward, you could count him right in.

[ She may not have actually... come up with anything yet. She'll think of something narratively satisfying once her hunger's been sated. ]

have fun.

He pressed a button on his arm, and from a slit poured a hologram of a control panel. Communicators were simply a waste of time and space when he could just have one built into his arm. Annnd with a click he was whisked away to the Hermitcraft server.

Martyn opened his eyes to find himself in The Nether, for whatever reason. Stupid spawn point in his opinion, but who was he to judge? Luckily there was a portal already set up a few blocks away, so he was able to escape before any harm was done.

And where was the machine? As far as he was concerned this was just some fancy cave. That was until he noticed the array of levers, accompanied by player heads, player heads he recognised, creepy much. There was even a lever for him, which had been weirdly painted over with an ‘X’. He quickly broke it, if they wanted to do anything against him with this machine, he’d have them make a new lever as his ‘fuck you’. But then he spotted a clear gap where a lever probably should’ve went, and maybe someone had the same idea as him?

The Eye did tell him to try it out… he placed the lever in the gap and flicked it.

Being in a sparsely lit cave, skeletons and such were bound to pop up here and there. An annoying occurrence, being taken out of the flow state and needing to pause his quest to gather building blocks, sure. But nothing out of the ordinary.

…and that’s when he notices how empty the cave is.

No chinks in his armor. No arrows poking out. The only living creatures in this place are bats, who are haphazardly flying into lava because of course they are.

And it couldn’t have been hunger either. He just had a golden carrot minutes prior, frankly he had no idea what this could—

…

Goddamn it.

You whisper to renthedog: ha ha very funny dude You whisper to renthedog: turn it off

Just to be safe, Doc pours the contents of his inventory into his ender chest. There’s potions in a shulker. If all goes well, he could maybe hold over for a good… five… minutes?

It feels like wading through a bed of roses.

You whisper to docm77: turn what off

You whisper to renthedog: oh you gots to be kidding me YOU RENOT AT THE MACHINE?

It couldn’t have been a stray breeze charge. Even if he hadn’t patched that, he’d taken down his own lever, so in any case the machine malfunctioning shouldn’t do anything to him.

The only actual counter would be if—

You whisper to renthedog: oh my god someone must have gotten in.

To put it lightly, the stress doesn’t help the pain.

You whisper to renthedog: important question. did you or did you not drink the milk before taking the invisibility

It dawns on him that it’s probably not a good idea to continue at this conversation in the cave, with the risk of death on the horizon and all. So, he puts all his stuff (save for his armor) in an ender chest, and…

[as the third message from Doc pings its notification, his heart stops for a second. Fuck, he didn’t even think about that. Did someone follow him? Was he that much of a dumbass that he couldn’t even follow the simple order to keep the machine hidden? This is the kind of dumb mistake only he would have the ability to make, and it’s even worse that this mistake happened because his husband trusted him too much. God, he was never going to get that trust back]

You whisper to Docm77: I cant remember D:

You whisper to Docm77: im so sorry dude this is fully my fault

Which is what makes it so frustrating to be in this predicament in the first place.

You whisper to renthedog: we talk later .if you canremember how to get to it just turn off my lever because i probably will not be much help right now so it is uo to you. got tha?t

The stinging is getting intense. He couldn’t possibly muster up the energy to actually leave the server under all this stress.

You whisper to renthedog: keep FOCUS on the MACHINE i am FINE IGNORE THE DEATH MESSAGES ok? xoxoxo

And the armor goes in the Ender chest, and…

Unless it’s his machine. Doc is the only guy insane enough to make something like this, and it’d make sense that he only broke his own lever…

So, in short, Martyn was absolutely screwed in the near future.

[he doesn't remember which way it is to doc's portal, and his panic isn't making his already terrible sense of direction any better. finally he gathers up the ability to check his comm - death message after death message makes the guilt in his chest worse, watching doc and pearl die over and over because he hadnt been careful enough going to doc's - scrolling up to try and find the coordinates doc had given him a few days ago. just as he reaches the message, pain hits him, and he looks down at his health bar to see he'd taken damage]

[he glances around quickly, searching for the cause - he cant see any piglins, hoglins, ghasts, there isnt even a skeleton. but there is another tick of damage, and he's regretting not having better armour.]

[it takes too long for it to click what's happening, despite the fact it should be obvious. somewhere in his mind, he knows, but his brain tries to convince him that doc wouldnt have left that lever - surely that isnt what is hurting ren, just some mob. the nether was dangerous after all. it really only clicks just before the last heart goes, and then he's waking up on his mattress, death message in the chat and damage hitting him faster now without his armour]

ahem...

martyn inthelittlewood. we have a message for you.

upon the server hermitcraft

(with its horde of daft riffraff)

far away and very deep

a fabulous device does sleep

go, and try it on the horde

and we promise dear reward

1128 -42 2773

proceed forward

@tales-mailbox

Martyn was bored, the kind of boredom that ate away at you, leaving you itching and agonising. Not that he was doing much to curb that boredom.

Luckily, the answer to said agony seemed to appear right beside him. He startled a little, turning to see an eye? An eye that appeared to be speaking to him, so he really should be listening—

A device for him to mess with already? It really was his lucky day! Unless that was yesterday… how many lucky days can someone have? Ooh, and some coordinates! Although he does like a good hunt on occasion, the Hermitcraft server is vast, and the hermits are weirdly good at hiding their stuff (not good enough though, ha!). And with a promise of reward, you could count him right in.

[ She may not have actually... come up with anything yet. She'll think of something narratively satisfying once her hunger's been sated. ]

have fun.

He pressed a button on his arm, and from a slit poured a hologram of a control panel. Communicators were simply a waste of time and space when he could just have one built into his arm. Annnd with a click he was whisked away to the Hermitcraft server.

Martyn opened his eyes to find himself in The Nether, for whatever reason. Stupid spawn point in his opinion, but who was he to judge? Luckily there was a portal already set up a few blocks away, so he was able to escape before any harm was done.

And where was the machine? As far as he was concerned this was just some fancy cave. That was until he noticed the array of levers, accompanied by player heads, player heads he recognised, creepy much. There was even a lever for him, which had been weirdly painted over with an ‘X’. He quickly broke it, if they wanted to do anything against him with this machine, he’d have them make a new lever as his ‘fuck you’. But then he spotted a clear gap where a lever probably should’ve went, and maybe someone had the same idea as him?

The Eye did tell him to try it out… he placed the lever in the gap and flicked it.

Being in a sparsely lit cave, skeletons and such were bound to pop up here and there. An annoying occurrence, being taken out of the flow state and needing to pause his quest to gather building blocks, sure. But nothing out of the ordinary.

…and that’s when he notices how empty the cave is.

No chinks in his armor. No arrows poking out. The only living creatures in this place are bats, who are haphazardly flying into lava because of course they are.

And it couldn’t have been hunger either. He just had a golden carrot minutes prior, frankly he had no idea what this could—

…

Goddamn it.

You whisper to renthedog: ha ha very funny dude You whisper to renthedog: turn it off

Just to be safe, Doc pours the contents of his inventory into his ender chest. There’s potions in a shulker. If all goes well, he could maybe hold over for a good… five… minutes?

It feels like wading through a bed of roses.

You whisper to docm77: turn what off

You whisper to renthedog: oh you gots to be kidding me YOU RENOT AT THE MACHINE?

It couldn’t have been a stray breeze charge. Even if he hadn’t patched that, he’d taken down his own lever, so in any case the machine malfunctioning shouldn’t do anything to him.

The only actual counter would be if—

You whisper to renthedog: oh my god someone must have gotten in.

To put it lightly, the stress doesn’t help the pain.

You whisper to renthedog: important question. did you or did you not drink the milk before taking the invisibility

It dawns on him that it’s probably not a good idea to continue at this conversation in the cave, with the risk of death on the horizon and all. So, he puts all his stuff (save for his armor) in an ender chest, and…

[as the third message from Doc pings its notification, his heart stops for a second. Fuck, he didn’t even think about that. Did someone follow him? Was he that much of a dumbass that he couldn’t even follow the simple order to keep the machine hidden? This is the kind of dumb mistake only he would have the ability to make, and it’s even worse that this mistake happened because his husband trusted him too much. God, he was never going to get that trust back]

You whisper to Docm77: I cant remember D:

You whisper to Docm77: im so sorry dude this is fully my fault

Which is what makes it so frustrating to be in this predicament in the first place.

You whisper to renthedog: we talk later .if you canremember how to get to it just turn off my lever because i probably will not be much help right now so it is uo to you. got tha?t

The stinging is getting intense. He couldn’t possibly muster up the energy to actually leave the server under all this stress.

You whisper to renthedog: keep FOCUS on the MACHINE i am FINE IGNORE THE DEATH MESSAGES ok? xoxoxo

And the armor goes in the Ender chest, and…

Unless it’s his machine. Doc is the only guy insane enough to make something like this, and it’d make sense that he only broke his own lever…

So, in short, Martyn was absolutely screwed in the near future.

[ It's walking back towards its firetrucks with a brimming inventory when a twinge of pain passes through its whole body. And another, and another. ]

[ She's losing health, fast. ]

[ It can't see or smell the source. It's all alone out here. It can't tell what's wrong, but it hurts– ]

[ She's not even half as concerned by how much it hurts as she is that all that hard work is going to go to waste. ]

[ It gets up– ]

[ Pearl picks up her communicator and sends out a desperate message. ]

You whispered to GeminiTay: my stuff

You whispered to GeminiTay: help

ahem...

martyn inthelittlewood. we have a message for you.

upon the server hermitcraft

(with its horde of daft riffraff)

far away and very deep

a fabulous device does sleep

go, and try it on the horde

and we promise dear reward

1128 -42 2773

proceed forward

@tales-mailbox

Martyn was bored, the kind of boredom that ate away at you, leaving you itching and agonising. Not that he was doing much to curb that boredom.

Luckily, the answer to said agony seemed to appear right beside him. He startled a little, turning to see an eye? An eye that appeared to be speaking to him, so he really should be listening—

A device for him to mess with already? It really was his lucky day! Unless that was yesterday… how many lucky days can someone have? Ooh, and some coordinates! Although he does like a good hunt on occasion, the Hermitcraft server is vast, and the hermits are weirdly good at hiding their stuff (not good enough though, ha!). And with a promise of reward, you could count him right in.

[ She may not have actually... come up with anything yet. She'll think of something narratively satisfying once her hunger's been sated. ]

have fun.

He pressed a button on his arm, and from a slit poured a hologram of a control panel. Communicators were simply a waste of time and space when he could just have one built into his arm. Annnd with a click he was whisked away to the Hermitcraft server.

Martyn opened his eyes to find himself in The Nether, for whatever reason. Stupid spawn point in his opinion, but who was he to judge? Luckily there was a portal already set up a few blocks away, so he was able to escape before any harm was done.

And where was the machine? As far as he was concerned this was just some fancy cave. That was until he noticed the array of levers, accompanied by player heads, player heads he recognised, creepy much. There was even a lever for him, which had been weirdly painted over with an ‘X’. He quickly broke it, if they wanted to do anything against him with this machine, he’d have them make a new lever as his ‘fuck you’. But then he spotted a clear gap where a lever probably should’ve went, and maybe someone had the same idea as him?

The Eye did tell him to try it out… he placed the lever in the gap and flicked it.

Being in a sparsely lit cave, skeletons and such were bound to pop up here and there. An annoying occurrence, being taken out of the flow state and needing to pause his quest to gather building blocks, sure. But nothing out of the ordinary.

…and that’s when he notices how empty the cave is.

No chinks in his armor. No arrows poking out. The only living creatures in this place are bats, who are haphazardly flying into lava because of course they are.

And it couldn’t have been hunger either. He just had a golden carrot minutes prior, frankly he had no idea what this could—

…

Goddamn it.

You whisper to renthedog: ha ha very funny dude You whisper to renthedog: turn it off

Just to be safe, Doc pours the contents of his inventory into his ender chest. There’s potions in a shulker. If all goes well, he could maybe hold over for a good… five… minutes?

It feels like wading through a bed of roses.

You whisper to docm77: turn what off

ahem...

martyn inthelittlewood. we have a message for you.

upon the server hermitcraft

(with its horde of daft riffraff)

far away and very deep

a fabulous device does sleep

go, and try it on the horde

and we promise dear reward

1128 -42 2773

proceed forward

@tales-mailbox

Martyn was bored, the kind of boredom that ate away at you, leaving you itching and agonising. Not that he was doing much to curb that boredom.

Luckily, the answer to said agony seemed to appear right beside him. He startled a little, turning to see an eye? An eye that appeared to be speaking to him, so he really should be listening—

A device for him to mess with already? It really was his lucky day! Unless that was yesterday… how many lucky days can someone have? Ooh, and some coordinates! Although he does like a good hunt on occasion, the Hermitcraft server is vast, and the hermits are weirdly good at hiding their stuff (not good enough though, ha!). And with a promise of reward, you could count him right in.

[ She may not have actually... come up with anything yet. She'll think of something narratively satisfying once her hunger's been sated. ]

have fun.

He pressed a button on his arm, and from a slit poured a hologram of a control panel. Communicators were simply a waste of time and space when he could just have one built into his arm. Annnd with a click he was whisked away to the Hermitcraft server.

Martyn opened his eyes to find himself in The Nether, for whatever reason. Stupid spawn point in his opinion, but who was he to judge? Luckily there was a portal already set up a few blocks away, so he was able to escape before any harm was done.

And where was the machine? As far as he was concerned this was just some fancy cave. That was until he noticed the array of levers, accompanied by player heads, player heads he recognised, creepy much. There was even a lever for him, which had been weirdly painted over with an ‘X’. He quickly broke it, if they wanted to do anything against him with this machine, he’d have them make a new lever as his ‘fuck you’. But then he spotted a clear gap where a lever probably should’ve went, and maybe someone had the same idea as him?

The Eye did tell him to try it out… he placed the lever in the gap and flicked it.

ahem...

martyn inthelittlewood. we have a message for you.

upon the server hermitcraft

(with its horde of daft riffraff)

far away and very deep

a fabulous device does sleep

go, and try it on the horde

and we promise dear reward

1128 -42 2773

proceed forward

@tales-mailbox

Martyn was bored, the kind of boredom that ate away at you, leaving you itching and agonising. Not that he was doing much to curb that boredom.

Luckily, the answer to said agony seemed to appear right beside him. He startled a little, turning to see an eye? An eye that appeared to be speaking to him, so he really should be listening—

A device for him to mess with already? It really was his lucky day! Unless that was yesterday… how many lucky days can someone have? Ooh, and some coordinates! Although he does like a good hunt on occasion, the Hermitcraft server is vast, and the hermits are weirdly good at hiding their stuff (not good enough though, ha!). And with a promise of reward, you could count him right in.

[ She may not have actually... come up with anything yet. She'll think of something narratively satisfying once her hunger's been sated. ]

have fun.

He pressed a button on his arm, and from a slit poured a hologram of a control panel. Communicators were simply a waste of time and space when he could just have one built into his arm. Annnd with a click he was whisked away to the Hermitcraft server.

Martyn opened his eyes to find himself in The Nether, for whatever reason. Stupid spawn point in his opinion, but who was he to judge? Luckily there was a portal already set up a few blocks away, so he was able to escape before any harm was done.