count the headlights on the highway

While cleaning out my room I found a paper that my therapist gave me some time ago to deal with obsessive and intrusive thoughts. Sorry the paper is a little crinkled and stained, but I figured I’d post it in hopes that it will help someone like it helped me.

am I doing this right

The Dream of Eleanor (1795) - Vincenz Georg Kininger

via weheartit

via weheartit

“My wife urged me to take this little trip to New York so that I can clear my head.  It’s just for two days.  But my leash has been so short lately that it feels like an eternity.  Part of me definitely died when our daughter was born.  I was always a free spirited person.  I traveled a lot.  I never had a boss.  I had all the choices in the world.  But a lot of that disappeared in order to make things possible for my daughter.  I watch her during the day. And I’m not mad about it.  This is the happiest time of my life.  It would be great if my daughter was here right now.  It’d be so fun to watch her run around the park.  But I’d also be worried about her safety.  And the diaper bag.  And the car seat.  And the stroller.  And our next meal.  And our next place to stay.  There’s always a flickering flame of worry that doesn’t go away.  Back home we live by the beach.  And if my wife ever senses that I’m getting overwhelmed, she tells me to go jump in the ocean.  And that resets me for a few days.  It’s all I need.  I just need a little space to be me.  Because it can be so easy to get lost in helping a new person become someone.”

Lily Seika Jones (@rivuletpaper)

Clear your mind here