It Just Needs Paint

Sometimes what you really need is a detective hat.  You know, for figuring out where that first leak in your basement is coming from. Try to find a stylish one.

Painting in the heat?  Stop halfway and eat a spoonful (or three) of nutella. You deserve it.

Starting to feel like home ownership is just a trap for the insanely unwary?  Remind yourself that being the boss is good: make a fire (outside, in a fire ring.  This isn't itjustneedsarson, folks), wrap some potatoes, green onions, and salmon in foil, cook it for your dinner.

Don't go on vacation. If you do, you'll lose all motivation and never improve your house again.

Can't get your husband/wife to agree to that bright coral color for the living room walls?  I recommend shouting "YOLO!" as loud as you can.  That'll win 'em over.

Painting and new shelves are awesome.  But don't forget to do the laundry, too.  You don't want to get stuck wearing your husband/wife's clothing to D&D, even if you serendipitously wear the same size pants.

After you successfully install your first medicine cabinet, stream the new Daft Punk album and have a dance party. Don't forget to have your husband/wife admire your INCREDIBLE HANDIWORK!

Don't take the center plugs out of your sink drains. You'll only make life hard for the people who come after you. They'll drop things like screws down them and make lots of swears.

Fitting a stepladder into your bathtub is hard. Maybe you should leave the ceiling that color.

To find out the soil quality of your land, get some robins to move in. There are some unbelievably wet and bedraggled robins feasting on some unbelievably big worms today. And we all know worms help make good soil!

If you have a garden, make friends with someone who has a gun. (Those groundhogs are tough, man.)

Listen to Diana Wynne Jones audiobooks while you work. Your brain will thank you.  But be careful to loop the cords of your earbuds through the back of your shirt so you don't accidentally clip the cord or drop your earbuds in the toilet.