free my mind

Ask little kids if they’d like a hug first

If they say no, verbally affirm the reasonable shit you just heard. “You said you wouldn’t like a hug. We won’t hug.”

You don’t even have to redirect with a high five, even though that’s fine. Touching isn’t for everyone.

Do not say upsetting things like “where is my hug?” Clown, you don’t own hugs.

It is fine to model consent by placing boundaries on touch. “Let’s wash your hands before we cuddle.” “I’m leaving this couch if you continue to yeet your foot into my pregnant belly.” “that was fun but I’m going to take a break now.”

Touchy children are not inherently sweeter. Love languages exist at any age.

Some kids like touch but not eye contact. A hug from behind is a good one or “let’s close our eyes and squeeze really tight. Ready?”

I’m dead f*ing serious there are people who want your physical affection so badly but need you to modify your approach. Just like there are people who want to get into buildings but need ramps.