Oi! Is this punk rock?

And then a load of people are occasionally garbage and usually not or vice versa. It don’t make a lick o’ sense. And the only thing that makes sense of this crazy world is Discharge.

Though that’s something that a lot of people stereotype as being goth or emo I know plenty of punks that have gone through that shit in some form or another. Punk is full of a wide variety of fuck-ups struggling with all sorts of real shit. Music and punk can be a vital lifesustaining emotional release but it’s not always enough. Also I think punk sometimes falls prey to that kinda closed-up thinking of self-reliance where people get DIY and self-reliance and worrying about being a burden confused with the toxicity of bottling up and can’t separate the two. It’s maybe a genre where people get comfortable with certain kinds of emotions: anger etc, while failing to deal with other (often attendant) ones like despair. Or if it does deal with them, they’re in the very confined spaces of songs and art. I know plenty of friends who’ve got some bangin songs about super real shit that I really identify with but I’d have to be way fucked up to ever mention that to them, and also I’d probably not hear some shit like that and say “Are you alright, mate?” (not just because I know the place you write a song in is not always the place you’re singing it in). It’s a kind of uncomfortable dance with feelings that I dunno how to deal with because of a whole bunch of shit all mixed together, dumbs internalised ideas of stoic masculinity, various levels of isolation I have struggled with and whatnot. I dunno, it’s 2am and I’m somewhere in the middle of a comedown so whatever, I’m maybe not talking much sense.Are you alright, mate? Talk to someone.

No.

No.

1000% punk.

Putting this on the cover of my first book.

That's punk rock. Fuck prescriptive definitions of 'real music' rooted in obvious fucking racism.

I'm sure you could find it on Soulseek. 

Fuck. Just read the vibe of the show. It's not that fucking hard. If everyone's going crazy, you can go a bit crazy, if people are just moving a little then do that. If no-one's doing shit you can dance a bit, but don't start trying to kungfu mosh or whatnot, if people wanna join you they will. Work out the context in which the space you are in is operating on a social level and react accordingly. Don't be the dude windmilling and flinging themselves about when no-one else is (and yeah that invariably is dudes who do that) because that an entitled prick-move, don't be the person trying to stand stock still and feeling aggrieved at the front of a No Justice show, because that, similarly, is an entitled prick move. Just read the vibe of the show.

It comes to a point in punk rock where you've been around long enough to have seen the same arguments go round half a dozen times, every time without resolution. I don't caaaaaaaare. Or rather, I care enough to have an extremely subtle and nuanced view about this that nobody really cares about so sharing it would be a waste of your time and mine. People are still gonna stagedive, people are still gonna get angry about stagediving. People are still gonna say "I came to watch music, have fun and support a band, not get some arsehole jumping on my face!" and people are still gonna say "Punk rock is about violence and going crazy and the audience reclaiming rock and roll!" Both those groups of people are punk rock because, like me and you, they give a fuck about what a silly thing like punk rock means on a frankly psychotic level. Keep this argument saved for when something happens in 18 months with another band so we have exactly the same discussion.

All the luck in the world with that. I know that on tumblr and other places on the internet there are good people (punx and not) who have gone through and are going through that same tough shit you are going through and can probably offer you way better, sharper, harsher, warmer, keener advice than anything I could ever say as I will probably just lapse into punk rock platitudes immediately. Like ‘don’t let the wankers grind you down’, and ‘live to fuck off non-punx’. Do whatever it takes to get yourself through it, from starting a sweet fucking inept rawpunk band, to writing a zine, to deciding never ever to listen to Discharge ever again and buying only Kenny G albums for the rest of time, to singing folk songs, to tattooing HARD CUNT on your forehead, whatever it takes to work it out, however abstract or direct, however punk or not, and I know that you will do it, cos while this may be hard as hell, it is not as hard as you.Once again I remain faintly baffled, kinda terrified and pretty honoured that people come to me with shit like this, shit that I would definitely qualify as ‘super real shit’ when I am mainly good at dealing with the jokey ephemera of way unreal shit. If you really decide that I’m the one you need to talk to about that, no fucking problem, be aware that I remain though a dumb cunt straight cis white boy who is mainly good at having lots of opinions about the Ramones. And I will definitely fuck something up. As, I’m sure, will you at some point, but you can kick past that, we all can, and damn motheefucking right you will be happy someday.

I dunno. Find something you do like and keep doing it. Speak to someone, a professional, maybe. Get out of your own head a bit. Get a goal and focus on it. Find some music that’s not about anything you’ve ever listened to before. For me, punk rock was just about enough to pull me through, no idea if it will be for you. I’m sure this is the same tedious bullshit a bunch of people will tell you but that’s all I’ve got, sorry. I genuinely feel your pain.

That's a very long way of spelling 'punk rock'.

Enjoy.