* This Is The Plan

I forgot about you. 💕

It's been amazing week full of struggle and freedom. I've been doing semi-daily journalling and it's been hugely therapeutic. I feel like boy angst is Tumblr specific though :P I've never wanted to marry someone before- too much work and that type of commitment seems impossible. Since being here though I wanna be a wife- I want to find a man who would make a great father. It's the strangest thing. It's a happy thing though- my heart is healing.

Stop fantasizing life with the local youth pastor- Staupppppp it Megan, Staup.

This is new.

working a 3pm-11pm. I'm going to enjoy the last two hours of my shift in solitude... Thankful for my year and excited for new adventures coming my way.

It wasn't graceful actually walking through those doors... I had to fight through a lot of negative thoughts and self image but I did it!! So thankful- headed back early tomorrow before my mini-road trip.

Until I uproot my entire life... Time is going to fly.

Friendships, relationships... Ties to people I wish I knew how to keep. It was all for a purpose though- to finish my practical nursing. I've graduated from school- the last step is my provincial registration exam tomorrow morning. I'm trying to remain calm and have faith that it will work out. Selfishly I'm frustrated at the last three weeks of inactivity and binging on food to cope with the stress. I wish that I had chose better coping mechanisms. I'm frustrated in my diminishing muscle tone, cardio capacity and laughable endurance. I spent the entire summer developing it all and now it's 'gone'. I know all isn't lost and after tomorrow I can transition back.... Change up my routine... Adjust to my new crazy schedule.. I guess I just have to stay thankful. And I am- very much so. I couldn't be alive and functioning if I wasn't. I'm mostly relieved that this battle of education is coming to a close. It's both peaceful and terrifying, I can do this.

I really really am- I'm so on fire for life and all that it brings. I don't know where I'm going or what I'll be doing... But I know I'll get there. Sometimes I just need to take a second and realize that and say thanks.

Wah. Those are 'real runner' (geez that already sounds like BS and I'm not even done the sentence) speeds. I keep on picturing myself as a 300lbs person running but I guess that's just not the case anymore. That time was a real treat after two days of eating large quantities of everything I could see/find/create. No self-control and PMS is a lovely combination.

O.o

Did 7k in 38.56 minutes. :) I'm pretty pumped.

I've NeVER been this pumped from a time before. Oh my friggen goodness. I'm a blessed lady. I would have never thought I'd be able to run ... Let alone run quickly.

Five days until race day :)

Running in the rain makes the whole thing x63862 times more enjoyable (and improves my time) 8 days until the race.

13 more days ‘till race day. Getting there.