Today's Document
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YOU ARE THE REASON
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@isthejohnvideocute
Basically what it says in the description!
Please feel free to use the ask and submission boxes to ask questions and submit images, gifs, or videos for analysis.
Submissions need not be limited to Johns! Though Johns are my focus as a researcher and conservationist, other TMBG-adjacent species (Dans, Marties, Robins, etc.) are welcome on this blog.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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RATING: NOT CUTE
This moment epitomizes why this blog is necessary. I have reason to believe that many of you wish to pinch a John's cheeks, and would emulate this behavior were the opportunity presented to you. HOWEVER, I need you all to understand that this is straight up unethical.
First, please note the way the John's hand moves up. This is our first sign that this interaction is unwelcome. The interviewer got lucky here: were this John less well socialized, he might have smacked her hand away instead of stopping himself.
Next, note his facial expression: neither a smile or grimace. It spells danger. This John is having thoughts he is not sure he wants to voice.
Finally, the sideways glance at the end. The clip cuts immediately after this, so we have no way of knowing exactly what happened. When it cuts back, the interviewer is unharmed, so we can assume that either nothing happened, or the John's handler was able to step in and do damage control.
Now that we've analyzed the footage, I need to highlight a couple more points here.
Even though nothing extreme seems to have happened here, thankfully, this is still a John in distress. If you think that's funny, you're sick in the head.
There are two Johns here. Sometimes the presence of another John can calm a John down, but sometimes they egg each other on. There's no way to know. Had the other John been paying a scrap of attention, things might have gone much worse for the interviewer. We'll never know (unless someone tries it again).
Think twice before you interact with a John! It's probably best to avoid physical contact at all, actually. If you must, go for something more innocuous, like a handshake or back pat, and make sure the John has a chance to catch your scent and get comfortable first.
RATING: NOT CUTE
Though these Johns (and Marty) put on a professional performance as usual, they are under clear duress here. As rock musicians, Johns are NOCTURNAL, and performances before 11AM should be a no-go. Forcing them to perform at 8:30AM, as in this video, is inhumane.*
*TED underwent an investigation by the ASPCJ (American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Johns) shortly after this incident. No details were released, but we have reason to believe formal warnings were issued.
Giggly
From this interview
RATING: CUTE
Though John may appear caught off-guard by John's antics, this is a normal play behavior. Healthy Johns will often attempt to shock or amuse each other. This keeps them mentally engaged and sharp, and it is an important bonding activity.
In the full video, this interviewer also sets a good example for how to appropriately interact with a John. He meets them in a comfortable environment and approaches as a fellow musician. You can note the effect this has on the Johns: relaxed body language, thoughtful answers, etc.
RATING: NOT CUTE
A healthy John displays a certain amount of pessimism as well as optimism, but the key is balance. Here, you can see that the smile does not quite reach the eyes, and all the color has been sucked away from him. The good news is that despair hasn't taken this John completely yet, and he should be able to recover if someone quickly administers a bit of levity or a joke.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch âĸ No registration required âĸ HD streaming
