My blog for a bean.

Have it, sweet people. I love you.

🦂 Start a therapy

🦂 Start journaling to know yourself better or to recognize some patterns

🦂 Meditate

🦂 Try to analyze deeply or reflect on an issue/fact you don't understand well

🦂 Be more attentive and careful with issues regarding money/finances

🦂 Be more open and reconsider the idea of reconnecting with someone who is/was dear to you

🦂 Focus!!! Focus on studies or activities that need a lot of concentration/focus ( it's an auspicious time)

🦂 Speak about what you're passionate about! Speak confidently about anything you deem important or you want to let know.

🦂 Follow your intuition/gut instincts.

🦂 Plan some business projects or projects in general.

🦂 Start some new exciting and interesting relationships/friendships.

Every day I get up. I go to work. I sell people things. There are fewer people coming through and they’re buying more because they’re stocking up or they haven’t been shopping in a month, but there are still lines, like always. There’s plexiglass between the cashiers and the customers, and no dividers, and we have to continually yell at people not to put their items on the belt until we’ve finished the previous transaction, and they ignore us or argue with us, same as always. The more rules we have, the more rules there are for people to ignore. And the longer it goes on, the more normal it gets. Pretty much no one thanks us for coming in to work anymore. People are starting to act like we should never, ever run out of an item. It’s just blanket assumed that we will have hand sanitizer and soap and toilet paper and people are shocked when we say we’re out.  But there are still ads on the TV in the break room telling us all to stay home and the more the customers ignore social distancing, the more management puts pressure on us to set a good example, until we’re expected to follow standards that are physically impossible.

The longer this goes on, the less ‘essential’ I feel.

And then I come home and get online as always and there are all of these people asking what you’re doing while you’re stuck in quarantine and coming up with fun things to do when you’re in quarantine and talking about what you’re going to do when this whole thing is over and you can finally, finally leave your house. Everyone just seems to assume that you, the person reading their words, are in quarantine, because everyone’s in quarantine. It’s like this big, international, universal experience that you’re not a part of.

no

your parents fucked up and should not have treated you that way

you need to lose weight

you’ll attract more boys if

you’re wearing that?

i wouldn’t wear that

this will flatter you more

We were talking about schizophrenia and the one other girl with mental illness was a schizophrenic (it wasn’t known until this exact moment). We were talking about symptoms when someone just asked outloud, “Aren’t schizos like super likely to murder people though?”

I thought, okay, one guy still stuck in the fucking 80’s, whatever.

But Then A Bunch Of People Start Agreeing

And soon we were 20minutes into class and everyone had shared a case of a schizophrenic murdering, abusing, etc etc and They Saw Nothing Wrong With Thinking These Stereotypes Were A Standard

The prof finally stopped them and asked if anyone wanted to make one last statement and this poor girl just raises her hands and “I just thought you all should know that I’m schizophrenic and have never thought about murdering someone, nor have I ever hurt anyone apart from myself.”

And… no one apologized. They literally felt no guilt at all for bashing this girl.

The same exact thing happened when we talked about depression, anxiety, and ptsd.

“Ptsd is what soldiers get after war right?”

“Yeah sometimes, but anyone can suffer from it after a traumatic event”

“How would you know, are you the professor now?”

“No, but I have ptsd from a car crash that nearly killed me so…”