childhood bestfriend!roman x reader - chapter 3
chapter 2
wc: 3700
cw: -
synopsis: you and Roman met each other when you were 7 after a not-so-pleasant encounter at the park. You became inseparable after that. In the many years of friendship you developed feelings for Roman, but you somehow managed to keep them hidden. It was all in vain, however, as your friendship ended a couple of days before graduation. After four years of not hearing from him, you meet him at a party you were working at as a photographer, lighting up a flame you didn't know was still burning inside, buried and long forgotten.
author's note: long wait + shorter chapter, im sorryyyy :(
Bunched up together on the couch of your living room, flashing lights and thundering sounds blasting from the TV, the blanket pulled up to your chin as you and Roman kept your eyes peeled to the screen displaying the new R-rated horror movie that had just come out.
Your parents were out of town for two nights and you decided to take advantage of this and invite Roman to sleep over. Not only did this result in a very fun weekend, but it also made you feel safe in the dark and empty house.
However, watching a scary movie at midnight by yourselves was not a good idea. The previous jumpscare made you spill orange juice all over the couch, so you and Roman agreed to drop anything that you were holding and instead gravitate towards each other on the couch.
You didn’t understand why Roman made you feel so safe – he was physically as small as you as puberty wouldn’t kick in for another three years, and he was equally as scared of the movie as you were. Yet whenever a scary scene came up all you had to do was close your eyes, his shoulder brushing yours and the soft sound of his breathing being enough to calm you down.
Usually, on a warm California night such as that one you wouldn’t have a blanket covering your entire body, causing you to sweat and feel uncomfortable. But after the movie you and Roman just watched, the blanket felt like the only thing that could protect you from the monsters.
You and Roman lay in bed, your sides completely attached to each other to give yourselves comfort. Your night light had stopped working a couple of days ago and your dad forgot to buy a new one, so the room was completely engulfed by the night.
Any gust of wind, any scratch of branches against the window, any dog howl in the distance made you and Roman flinch. You simply could not go to bed.
Suddenly, your mouth felt drier than ever and every time you’d swallow you choked. You turned your head to look at the nightstand, only to find an empty glass of water.
“Roman,” you spoke up just above a whisper, turning your head to look at him. “I’m thirsty.”
Roman looked over to his nightstand, but his glass was empty as well.
“Me too,” he swallowed hard, looking at the bedroom door. Both of you knew the only way to get water was the kitchen.
“You’re going,” you said quickly.
“No, you’re going!” Roman argued instantly. And then you both knew the only way to settle this, sitting up in the bed and preparing your hands.
“Rock, paper, scissors, shoot!” you said at the same time. Roman showed scissors, but you already knew he would as that was almost always his first move, showing rock. Roman threw his head back, exhaling dramatically.
He looked over at the door, weighing his options. He could just have water in the morning, when everything was lit up and there was nothing to be scared about. But by the dryness of his throat, he knew he couldn’t wait until then.
Roman got up hesitantly, every step being featherlight as he walked towards the door. He carefully pressed the door handle, peeking out into the dark house. He knew there was a light switch in the kitchen. He just had to walk through complete darkness in order to get there.
Roman inhaled sharply, closing his eyes for a moment to gather himself, and then he fully opened the door, revealing the all-consuming night.
“Wait!” your sudden words made Roman yelp and shut the door. You got up from your bed and ran over to your desk, searching through a drawer as Roman put a hand on his chest, taking deep and dramatic breaths.
“Don’t scare me like that!” he said.
“Sorry,” you muttered, continuing to rummage through the drawer until your hands landed on some familiar beads. You pulled out the bracelet running over to Roman.
“Take this,” you spoke, taking his hand into yours and putting the bracelet around his wrist.
“My good luck charm,” you smiled at Roman, watching as he lifted his wrist to inspect the bracelet. Finally, he shrugged, deciding it was good enough.
Roman opened the door again, having a newfound bravery inside of him, your bracelet casting an invisible shield over his body.
“Don’t die,” you whispered, too afraid to speak louder as you looked into the black void that was your house.
“I’ll try,” Roman replied before finally stepping into the darkness, focusing on the beads of the bracelet against his skin to remind himself he was safe as long as you were there.
Tears streamed down your face while you walked down the streets of your neighborhood. After yet another argument with your boyfriend, you found yourself lost. Naturally, in situations like this you’d go over to Roman’s place. But that’s exactly what the argument with your boyfriend was about.
He had a particular issue with Roman and didn’t like you hanging out with him that much. You loved your boyfriend. So you listened. You and Roman went from hanging out almost every day to only seeing each other at school.
But it wasn’t just you distancing yourself. Roman had a new group now. A group you didn’t like nor got along with. He chose to hang out with them over you, so it was only natural you’d do the same thing. You didn’t think it would bother him since he started. But it surely bothered you. Especially on a day like this, with your hands shaking and mascara smudged beneath your eyes, your whole body feeling bare after the daily argument with your boyfriend.
Walking towards your home you would walk past Roman’s house, all the good times already feeling like distant memories. You would never play hide and seek in his front yard again, you would never put up a kiddie pool and have water fights, you would never sit on his porch after a particularly rough night with your parents. It was all just memories now. Nothing was continuous.
As you reached his house you couldn’t help but overhear the multiple voices coming through the open window, alongside the loud rap music and Mario Kart sound effects.
Your home was just a couple of houses away. You could already see the family car and garden your parents decided to set up. But Roman’s house was right in front of you.
If your boyfriend would have seen you changing your direction to enter Roman’s yard, loudly knocking at his door while wiping the mascara off your cheeks, he would’ve broken up with you instantly. But he wasn’t there. Roman was.
Opening the door with confusion plastered all over his face, Roman looked down at you.
“Hey,” he said, looking around to check if your boyfriend was anywhere near as if he was a ghost haunting him. “What are you doing here?”
“I’m just,” you began, but soon realized you had no real reason to be at his house. “Checking up on you,” you quickly made up a bullshit excuse while looking over Roman’s shoulder, into his living room. On the couch sat Nate and Hollis, two guys from school that Roman had become good friends with in the past year.
“What’s wrong?” Roman frowned, taking notice of your glossy eyes and messy makeup. Although you guys weren’t on the best terms in that moment, he couldn’t erase the years spent together. He was still your closest friend. And he recognized your expression and slumped posture, understanding you needed someone.
“It’s nothing,” you huffed, running a hand through your tangled hair and sniffling every now and then. You tried your best to sketch a smile, but Roman saw right through it. And without a second longer, he led you inside with a hand on your back.
Once in the living room, Nate and Hollis turned their heads around to greet you. They had seen you around school and inevitably heard about you ever since becoming friends with Roman. They knew all the drama about your boyfriend since it was all Roman could talk about sometimes.
You waved shyly before excusing yourself to the bathroom to try and salvage whatever was left of your makeup.
Once you stepped inside the bathroom, you felt a wave of relief wash over you. No more eyes were on you. You finally felt safe, knowing nothing could touch or disturb you.
“So,” you heard Roman’s voice speak from behind. You flinched at the sound, turning around to see him leaned against the doorway of the bathroom. “You’re gonna tell me what’s wrong?”
“It’s not that big of a deal,” you tried to brush it off, chuckling dryly as you reached for some toilet paper.
“Well clearly it is since you’re crying,” Roman pointed out. “We have barely talked these past few weeks and suddenly you show up at my house all sad and shit. I feel like you owe me an explanation,” he stated in a firm tone, but still allowing space to make you comfortable enough to share.
“It’s just Caleb,” you sighed, sitting down on the toilet lid while wiping under your eyes with the paper.
Roman exhaled loudly, running a hand over his face. He wanted to yell at you for coming to him only when you needed something. But upon looking down at you, at your teary eyes and fidgeting hands, he couldn’t help but feel bad.
Arguments with your boyfriend weren’t uncommon. In fact, you and Caleb argued more than having normal conversations. Yet you always ran back to him, for a reason neither you or Roman could understand.
Roman stepped inside the bathroom, grabbing the tissue from your hand and gently lifting your chin so he could wipe your eyes, having more precision than you as he could actually see the mascara smudges. You avoided his eye, looking elsewhere while deep in thought.
“I hope he’s worth it,” Roman whispered, throwing away the tissue.
You finally looked up at him, reliving Caleb’s words. He tried to keep you away from Roman, whether it was his insecurities, his jealousy over you and Roman’s bond, or whatever other reasons his pea brain could muster up.
But you missed Roman. Of course you did. You grew up together.
And when you finally noticed that familiar glint in his eye, the one that reminded you he would always be your friend, you felt a wave of comfort wash over you.
Without thinking you leaned your head against Roman’s stomach, allowing him to cradle it and stroke your hair softly as you evened out your breaths and calmed yourself down.
You ran around through the agitated crowd, desperately trying to manage your job while also fighting for your life.
You had worked at many concerts before and for many big names, but no one had a crowd quite like 2hollis.
People pushed against each other, skinny girls getting bruises from the barricade, guys slamming into each other while moshing. And not to mention the intense lights and EDM music that gave you a headache.
Then finally, when you were already drenched in sweat and with ten different drinks spilled all over your shoes, Roman came on stage. Instinctively, you put your camera down and snapped your head around to focus on the stage, swarmed from all directions by crazy fans.
It was strange seeing Roman on that stage, with lights on him and a microphone in his hand. You remembered the early years in which he’d show you a silly beat he made on his laptop or when he recorded your voice to sample it for a song.
Even after your fight at the bar, leaving off on bad terms again and spending even more restless nights trying to get him out of your head, you still felt proud.
You lifted the camera, aligning with the viewfinder in order to catch Roman’s success in a timeless picture. Roman smiled at the crowd, surprised they knew the lyrics to his songs, and you found yourself smiling behind the camera, feeling yourself light up with joy as you and Roman were both doing the things you dreamed of when you were young, together.
The atmosphere of the after party was different: not only did everyone know everyone, but they all had an unspoken respect towards each other. Everyone knew what it was like to have the spotlight on you, to be put under a microscope and be analyzed by the world.
You sat in a corner, looking around. You didn’t know what it felt like. You were the microscope, taking pictures of people having fun and plastering them all over your website and social media. While they were having the time of their lives, you were working, night after night, shutter click after shutter click.
“Hey,” Hollis emerged from the crowd, two drinks in his hand. He offered you one of them, sipping from the other one.
“Thanks,” you spoke, taking the drink from his hand.
“What are you doing?” Hollis scoffed, noticing the camera in your hand.
“Working?” you answered with confusion in your voice.
“I didn’t bring you here to work. Come,” he lead you to his group with a hand around your shoulders.
Sat around in a circle somewhere near the bar were Nate, Ryan, Hollis’ girlfriend whose name you had learned to be Sirena, and a bunch of other faces you recognized, either from high school or from social media. And finally, as expected, with his hair up in a messy bun and a drink in his hand, was Roman.
You hadn’t spoken to Roman since the night at the bar, and you had left thinking you would never have to speak to him again. But ever since Hollis had texted you about the concert, you knew facing Roman would be inevitable. Especially since Hollis mentioned hiring you again in the future.
Hollis was right. You and Roman were both adults and had to act accordingly. This wasn’t high school anymore. Neither of you could run away from your problems anymore.
You absent-mindedly answered Nate when he asked you what you thought about the show, instead focusing on the way Hollis and Roman mumbled to each other, both of them using the advantage of their long hair to cover their mouths.
Hollis leaned in to whisper something into Roman’s ear, and you could swear for a split second, both of them glanced over to you. Roman shook his head and you could read a ‘no’ on his lips, before Hollis nudged him with a scolding look on his face. Roman scoffed, and finally he looked at you fully, causing you to avert your eyes and pretend to be interested in Nate and Ryan’s conversation.
Suddenly, just as you were finally getting invested in Ryan’s story, you felt a hand gently grasp your shoulder and Roman’s breath fanning over your ear as he leaned in to whisper.
You looked over your shoulder, meeting Roman’s eye, and nodded. Roman grabbed his bag from a couch and you both placed your drinks on some counter, walking outside together.
The empty street contrasted the bustling club, a buzzing streetlight fighting hard to illuminate the dark road as mosquitoes and moths gathered around the light bulb.
There were no cars on the street that late at night, the only sound being you and Roman’s shoes thumping against the ground with each step.
You glanced over at Roman as he walked on the street, you being on the sidewalk. Neither of you had said a word. Neither of you knew how to start.
“What did you think about the show?” Roman attempted to start a conversation.
“Everyone’s asking me that,” you snickered, swatting a mosquito away. “It was nice. Different from what I listen to. Very you.”
Roman smiled, his head hanging low so his hair would cover his expression, a new habit of his you hoped you wouldn’t have to get used to.
“I heard you took some nice pictures of – “
“Roman, you didn’t bring me out here to talk about the show,” you interrupted him. Roman paused for a moment, his steps faltering. You stopped after him, waiting for his explanation.
“I don’t like the way we left off last time,” he took in a deep breath, gathering his words. You remembered it was always hard for him to be up front about his feelings. Even back when you were kids. “And you’re gonna be around more according to Hollis. I don’t want to be a stranger, you know?”
You looked at him, a blank expression on your face. But you were content with his answer, so you looked back out into the dark night sky and continued to walk.
“It was hard to take pictures from the crowd,” you began, the sudden switch of conversation confusing Roman, but he decided to go with it. “But I’m satisfied with the pictures I have.”
“How long have you been doing this for?”
“I remember you talking about having a big penthouse all to yourself,” Roman reminisced, looking over at you.
“Actually, I do,” you stated proudly, causing him to raise his eyebrows and smile at you, impressed with your progress, yet feeling as if he missed out by not being there with you through the process. "But I kinda feel like I need more. Like there's something else out there for me," you continued to share while walking beside him on the street.
Although the years have passed, the concrete felt the same underneath you, hard and cold, warmed up by Roman’s presence beside you as you sat on the curb of the sidewalk, talking about something you both had in common: your childhood.
“I swear Roman,” you jokingly argued. “Every girl wanted you!”
“That’s such a lie,” he laughed, looking away.
“You know who really liked you?”
Roman hummed in response, his eyebrow perked with interest.
“That one exchange student in 9th grade. What was her name?” you pinched your bridge, trying to remember.
“Maria,” Roman answered. “And no way she liked me! She practically hated all the boys in our grade!”
“Not you,” you shot back, a playful smile on your face. “Remember when I invited her to my 15th birthday? She was flirting with you all night!”
“She ‘accidentally’ spilled champagne on you so she could wipe your shirt,” you gave Roman a look, causing the dots in his head to connect. “She pissed me the fuck off,” you muttered.
“Because I had a crush on you?” you stated as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.
“Wait,” Roman said, the memories finally coming back to him. “Is that why you insisted we play spin the bottle?”
“Yeah. And when it landed on you I was so excited to show her who’s boss. Make her all jealous and shit.”
“Didn’t I refuse to kiss you?”
“Yeah,” you covered your face in embarrassment. “You know how much I cried that night?” you looked at Roman, your head in your hand.
“It wasn’t even that serious,” he chuckled.
“You said I’m like a cousin to you!” you raised your voice, causing Roman to burst out laughing.
A silent moment creeped up between the two of you. But it was strangely comforting. Like you didn’t need to fill up the gaps with awkward small talk. You could just be next to each other on that sidewalk, enjoying each other’s presence.
You glanced over at Roman, noticing the way his lips would part as he was about to say something, then retract his words while trying to gather his thoughts.
He was glowing, not just because of the streetlight. The concert left a tender mark on his skin, his pupils dilated with pure ecstasy, whether it was from the show and the agitation of the party, or the dopamine kick he got from finally having a proper conversation with the girl he thought he’d never speak to again.
“You know what ruined us?” Roman finally managed to string his thoughts together. You looked at him, awaiting his explanation. “We couldn’t see past our feelings and be there for each other.”
“Makes sense,” you nodded, looking at the concrete as you sat with his words. “It’s a shame though. We were really good friends.”
“I’d love to try again,” he spoke in a hushed tone, that shyness making its way back into his voice.
“Well,” you started, straightening your back as if you were preparing to make a deal. “Do you like me?” your sudden question caused Roman to tense up slightly and think for a moment.
“No,” he replied bluntly. “Do you?”
You still remember the last time you saw Roman: graduation day, feeling his piercing eyes bore into the back of your head as you sat in the row in front of him. You didn’t speak to him the entire day.
And you never expected to speak to him ever again. Not four years later, at the after party of his show that you worked at as a photographer. You never expected that the hobbies the two of you were so passionate about during your younger years would later bring you back together. And you never expected to reconnect with him truly for the first time on the curb of a sidewalk, the same way you’d spend night after night on the curb in front of your parent’s house, talking each other’s ears off without getting bored.
As the noises of the city settled in a distant hum, the bugs creating a perfect harmony that could lull you to sleep, the streetlight began to flicker.
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