t h e o

Okay. Wellp. So, I went into this rewatch with the mindset that I wouldn’t be biased (lol, bi), and, dude. He’s The Bisexual™️. Younger me was such a fool. I know that the coding likely comes from a place of the writers being like ‘lol, gay funny’, but it gets to a point.

I was watching with a friend when we got to the siren episode (of note: I don’t remember 90 percent of the plot lines of the show: it has been many moons since my first watch. I’m pushing thirty). As soon as the premise of the episode was set, I turned to my friend and I said ‘…calling it now: the siren is going to appear to Dean as a man’ and they laughed at me. And then…Jesus, dude. I understand that they were going for a ‘Sam is the most important person in Dean’s life, and shit is rocky, hence: new brother’ but…they WENT ON A DATE.

Also, also. Castiel and Dean’s dynamic in season four is clearly meant to parallel Ruby and Sam. Their relationship (super straight, definitely just dudes being bros) is the direct foil of Sam and Ruby’s definitely more than platonic…thing. Ruby corrupts Sam while Castiel guides Dean while Dean ‘corrupts’ (frees) Castiel.

‘My superiors are doubting me because of my feelings for you’ (indirect quote, I can’t be bothered to look up the exact line). ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Isn’t being doubted and shoved out by your family because of your feelings for someone the most DIRECT QUEER METAPHOR in history? Jesus h. Christ, bro.

Rewatched Free to Be You and Me last night, and realized upon watching it that it was 1.) likely my most rewatched episode as a teen, so that was a treat, 2.) so gay, dude. Wtf. (I was really watching the ‘Cas and Dean go on a date’ episode over and over again and telling myself I only liked it because Cas is funny)

Yet again, the episode parallels Sam’s romantic life with Dean and Cas pal-ing around. It directly cuts from Sam on a dinner date with Diner Girl to Cas and Dean at a candle-lit dinner in a brothel (lol).

‘I haven’t laughed like that…in years…” he says, gritty and platonic, eyes shining with tears of bromance.

Apparently my favorite ship dynamic is just 'world-weary, neglected, guilt-ridden sweetheart who masquerades as an asshole due to a deeply ingrained fear of rejection' x 'weird, emotionally-inexpressive, super-powerful being, absolutely riddled with religious trauma stemming from the belief that they are an aberration'.

Also, it's important that they never even kiss.

Yes, it's specific, but it's weird that it happened twice.

Little illustration based on the most recent chapter of the fanfic I’ve been working on

Hear me out;

Obviously, Lucifer would own the restaurant. When he opened it, he would've been super enthusiastic about it. It would have been duck-themed out the wazoo, and he would've been a really fun boss. But then...the divorce happened, and he sorta lost his passion and became neglectful to the point of nearly bankrupting the business. Enter Charlie. She elects herself General Manager, completely rebrands the place, and is one of those managers that's very like "our team is a family", and seems to genuinely believe it. She talks about working there like it's the best job anyone could ever have, and everyone else just kinda side-eyes her because they're really just there for a check. Also, one huge, glaring error: she has like zero experience in food service, and while she's very enthusiastic and willing to learn, she...well. She's a girl disaster *shrug*.

Vaggi would be a kitchen manager. This just feels right to me. She would run that kitchen like a fucking battlefield, and everyone would begrudgingly respect her, because they know at the end of the day, she's the real reason the business is staying afloat.

Vox and Alastor are both assistant managers, and they butt heads constantly. All Vox wants to do is sit in the office and watch the security cameras. His favorite hobby is catching someone doing something wrong and then making a big deal out of it. He's dead set on working his way up the ladder and taking the business from Charlie, who he sees as incompetent/an obstacle. He also...doesn't really hide this. He started as a waiter and was actually really great at it (he's charismatic af, and he's def on coke, so it makes sense). It's unclear to everyone why Alastor even works there. The only task he ever actually completes is curating the restaurant's playlist (which he fills with obscure music, some of it slaps, some of it is obviously just played in an attempt to drive people crazy). He spends like ninety percent of his time hiding in the walk-in. Whenever there's a 'problem customer', the waitstaff usually turns to him for help. There's a seventy percent chance that he'll just roast the waiter for being too sensitive, but when he does decide to go deal with the customer, he's terrifying and incredibly effective. He started as a host (again...I don't feel like I need to explain any further). He and Vox have a giant, stupid rivalry, and have created an incredibly inhospitable work environment (but also, it's really entertaining when they argue, so, whatever).

Speedrun.

Front of House:

Val and Vel are server leads. Cherri, Lute, Angel, and Abel are servers. Emily and St. Peter are hosts. Ethan's a busboy. Lute is the best waitress there in terms of like...efficiency, but she has a tendency to be rude to guests (usually they let it go because she's hot) and spends too much time in the kitchen. Abel's the new hire and he keeps fucking up. Angel makes the most in tips because, even though he's a hot mess, he's super charming.

Back of House:

Adam is so obviously a line cook to me (and the reason Lute's always hanging out in the kitchen. Everyone assumes they're banging, but weirdly...they're not?) Sir Pentious is the world's best sous chef. Nifty is a dishwasher- duh. When they're slow, she deep cleans the walk-ins even though she really doesn't have to.

Husk is the bartender. Don't really have anything else to add to that.

Rosie is an eccentric investor, and the real reason Alastor hasn't been fired yet. She's just kind of around sometimes. Baxter doesn't work there, but he is a regular. Nobody really understands why he's always coming in, because he's constantly critiquing the service and the dishes (he thinks he's being genuinely helpful).

Got yuri on the brain today

Im venting because Vox is genuinely such a fun, interesting character. Sucks to see a baddie be reduced to their relationship lol. Vox being obsessed with The Demon Twink that’s Preying On His Downfall™️ is just the cherry on top.

Drawing these sillies in fancy masquerade ball-esque outfits, because you can’t convince me these two wouldn’t commit hard to a theme. (They’re both sloshed af by the end of the night)

Also, this is my official petition for Alastor to wear green more often. It ties in thematically with his powers, it contrasts nicely with red, and it doesn’t HAVE to give Christmas. (I feel very strongly about this)