I shrug it off and attempt to turn to leave, but something catches my eye. I really don’t want to invade this man’s privacy, but I can’t help but walk farther into the room. I stop in front of the small thing that got my attention. A photograph, tattered around the edges like it had been held multiple times. I carefully pick it up to examine it. The writing on the back reads:

satoru, shoko, suguru

summer ‘06

 I have to suppress a laugh when I see a teenage Gojo in the picture. He’s sandwiched between a young shoko and another person who I’d never seen before. That has to be whoever this Suguru person is. He has black hair that’s pulled into a bun, stretched ears, and a warm smile on his face. Gojo’s never mentioned him to me, and he doesn’t seem to work on campus. I’m just going to assume something bad may have happened to him, and that it might be best not to ask about it. I set the photo back onto its spot on the floor and continue to look around. 

 His room is actually a little messy. Mostly just clothes strewn here and there. His bed isn’t made, and water bottles fill his bedside table. I notice a couple of digimon plushies on his bed and giggle at the idea of him cuddling them at night. He has a couple of posters on his walls. Some are of bands I’ve never heard of, others are obscure movie posters.  I nod in contentment to myself and turn to leave, feeling bad for being nosy, but also happy that I have blackmail on him for the plushies. 

 I head to the main building to get to the common area kitchen to grab something small for breakfast. I expected the students to be eating in their own area so when I slide the door to the kitchen, I’m surprised to see six tired faces looking at me. 

  “O-oh, good morning,” I put on a smile to make myself seem happier than I am. I receive muffled ‘good mornings’ back as they all chew their food. Fresh muffins sit on a glass plate on the counter and my hands immediately reach for one. Megumi’s eyes bore into me from his seat, and I feel awkward just standing there. I know he probably wants to talk about yesterday, but I’d rather just act like it never happened. I turn my back to them in hopes the tension dissolves. As I do, I notice a coffee pot with freshly brewed coffee, and my mouth waters at the sight. I open a cabinet just above the counter to search for a mug. My hands land on one instinctively, pulling it out and filling it with the warm brew. I add just a couple of spoonfuls of sugar and take it into my hands. 

 “Sensei, come sit with us,” Yuuji waves to me as he motions to the empty seat next to him. Mentally, I sigh, knowing I can’t just turn him down. With muffin and coffee in hand, I take the seat. I don’t speak much, just listen, really taking in their childlike concerns. Nobara’s going on about a limited edition designer jacket that she so desperately needs while Yuuji looks through today’s edition of Jump. Megumi sits back observing just as I am, and Toge looks like he’s about to fall asleep on the table. Panda’s poking his cheeks to keep him up. 

 “Y/N, have you seen Gojo?” Megumi asks me quietly behind Yuuji’s back. 

 My eyes shoot to him, my mug to my lips. I shake my head no, confused even more as to where he could be. He sighs, he must’ve not heard from him since yesterday either. 

 “Should we be worried?” I ask, my elbow resting over the top of my chair as my body situates itself to turn towards him. 

 “No, he probably had some clan stuff to take care of or something,” Megumi answers. 

 “Clan stuff?” 

 “Yeah, within the Gojo clan, one man heads the whole family, and now that’s Gojo sensei.” 

 “Oh,” is all I can say. I can’t help but to think about everything Gojo probably has to deal with and how stressful that must be for him. He’s probably been the sole clan representative since he became an adult. I shake the thought from my head, I don’t need to concern myself with his situation. I turn back to my pathetic little muffin, and suddenly I’m not so hungry anymore. While the students are busy with their intertwining conversations, I use the distraction to slip out. Megumi is the only one who notices. 

 My feet kick small rocks in front of me. I wish I wasn’t a teacher today. I wish I wasn’t anything. I observe the campus around me, it’s fairly empty. No one would even notice if I slipped out and never came back. I pinch myself for thinking this way. Overdramatic, I say to myself. I don’t know what’s washed over me, but it’s depressing and weighing me down. Still, I can’t shake it. I don’t want to shake it. I would just rather let it sit with me today because at least then I know I can still feel something. I huff out a breath as I put my hands in my pockets. I come up on the empty practice field and decide to use its vacancy to my advantage. 

 I lazily jog over to the storage shed that sat next to the weapons building to see if it contained any sort of practice dummies. To my surprise, it did. I pull out four of them, pushing them one by one to the middle of the field to make a large scale square. I pull my jacket off and toss it to the side, the white loose cotton shirt I put on underneath finally breathes with the lightly blowing breeze. I stand in the middle of the wooden dummies and close my eyes. I need to work on precise aiming and damage control, and this feels like the best way to do it. 

 I take a deep breath in and relax my body. I concentrate all of my cursed energy into laying out my surroundings that I’m now blind to. I have to hone in my shots to hit a singular point on each dummy, right in the chest. I focus on the one that should be in the top left of the field. My hands come together as if I were praying, I pull them apart slowly and a string of flames connects them. My arms extend out until they can’t anymore then my left hand drops. I’m left with a whip made of crimson sparks, a technique I’d worked hard to complete. This specific one, and I nearly killed myself perfecting this, doesn’t spread its flames when resting. As soon as I hit that target though, that’s when things get tricky. 

 I slide my fist down the tail, preparing to cast it. My feet take just a couple of small steps forward and my mind narrows in on my inanimate victim. With a turn of my body, it slings itself across the field and tightens around the bodice of the dummy. I smile with pride as it lands, I can already smell the flames beginning to consume it. I reer back my arm to pull the whole thing back towards me, it soars towards my grasp. My hand comes out to catch it by the neck, and it does, easily. I pull the whip from it and it snaps in two in front of me. The flames dissipate as soon as I will the tool away. I open my eyes to see the mess of wood at my feet. 

 “Next,” I say, eyeing the one behind me in the back left corner of the field. 

 My eyes close once again, and this time I use a different technique. I hold my hand out, and a ball (about the size of a baseball) of fire accumulates into it. I had used this many times back home, we played a lot of baseball at the tech school. I've made this move many times, it’s a hard one to dodge although it doesn’t look like it. I stand up straight, ball in hand. My left foot lunges out, and my hand chucks the burning ball right towards it. As it’s travelling, it’s going to open up like a net to fully consume its prey. When done correctly it will burn its victim entirely without a spark dropping. I hear it hit and open my eyes to see the wooden dummy decimated. 

 Sudden hoots and hollers draw my attention away from my progress. My students stand on the concrete stairs just at the edge of the field. I shy away immediately, embarrassed that I had an audience. 

 “Not bad, hot stuff,” I hear Gojo’s slick voice from behind me. 

 I jump as he startles me, “You have got to stop doing that!” 

 “So this is what you were hiding from me, huh?” He lifts my hand up with his as to inspect it for residue. He has touched me before, but this time…it feels more intimate. It scares me. I pull my hand away from him before he can look any deeper into me. I can’t see his eyes, but I know he must look confused by the way his lips are pursed. I hate myself immediately for doing that to him. I notice Yuuji jogging towards us and take it as an opportunity to grab my jacket that’s lying just a few feet away. It allows me to put space between me and Gojo. 

 I zone out as the students speak with their teacher. I could care less about whatever they’re talking about. It feels like I’m inside myself, watching everything from a backseat view. Gojo’s hand waving in front of my face draws me back out. 

 “Anyways as I was saying,” he turns back to the kids, “In a couple of weeks I’ll be out on a business trip, so I’d like you all to get used to Y/N’s way of doing things.”

 I snap my head towards him with a stern look of confusion, “My way?”

 “They’re not gonna kill us are they?” Megumi asks with a monotone voice. 

 “Well one, I didn’t even know I had my own way of doing things,” I add. 

 “Of course you do, you like to be involved with what they’re doing, walk them through things,” Gojo explains. 

 “I thought you told me not to do that,” I recall our conversation we had on our last mission. 

 “Sometimes, it’s needed I think,” He leans into me on his last words. I instinctively back away. He pretends it doesn’t bother him and continues, “Plus, I think Yuuji could really benefit from the way you teach.” 

 Yuuji and I look at each other, making faces to humor the other. He hops over to my side and links his arm around mine that’s resting on my hip. 

 “Should we start now, m’lady?” He suggests in his most posh voice. 

 “Woah, woah, woah, I’m not done talking!” Gojo interjects. 

 Yuuji’s already starting to lead us by the time I say something back, “We’ll be fine! Headstart, I guess!”

 A frown forms on my colleague’s face, one that the others don’t see because they’re looking at me and Yuuji. A sting in my chest rings when I can’t tell if it’s because he’s mad or just going along with Yuuji. I turn back to the young boy pulling me off the field with a growing lump in my throat. 

-

 “So where are we starting?” The pink haired teen asks, I’m leading now. 

 “Depends,” I answer, “What do you need to work on?” 

 We stop walking for a moment when I see Yuuji stopping to think. 

 “I guess,” his brows pinch together in concentration, “I guess I should start learning how to use cursed energy.” 

 “You don’t know how to use cursed energy?!” His request takes me by surprise. I just assumed he knew what he was doing or that somebody at least had already shown him. 

 “No?!” He gives me a wild eyed expression, and I’m wondering how the hell he’s lived this long. 

 I sigh and rub my forehead, cursing Gojo for giving me such a tedious task. “Okay, okay, c’mon, we need to find a quiet place,” I finally say. We head towards the gardens behind the school’s main building in search of a spot hidden away from everyone else. 

 “Sensei, what are you looking for?” I hear the boy ask from behind me. 

 “Somewhere we can meditate,” I answer, my eyes searching sharply for something. 

 “What about there?” I look back at him and see that he’s pointing out to a small gazebo-type structure that’s floating on the water in a hidden blanket of trees. 

 “Perfect!” I wrap my arm around his neck and pull him into me, “I knew you were useful for somethin’!”

 My knuckles grind into the top of his head and he pleas for me to let him go. I do and we make our way over to the spot he’s picked. 

 “Okay, sit down or lay down or whatever,” I instruct, sitting down myself, “Whatever’s most comfortable for you.” 

 Yuuji lays down next to me, his arms and legs splayed out like he’s about to make a snow angel. “Done,” he says, closing his eyes. 

 “Okay, now I need you to picture what you think your cursed energy manifests as, whether it be some type of electric current or water current or whatever,” I hope this works for him because if it doesn’t then I have no idea what we’ll do. 

 “Okay,” I watch as his face tightens as he begins to concentrate. 

 “Take deep breaths, imagine the energy flowing through you, like how your blood does.” 

 His chest rises and falls as he breathes, and his body relaxes. The tension of focus loosens in his face and I have a feeling he’s getting it. 

 “Okay, now what?” He says quietly. 

 “Now,” I begin, laying down somewhat next to him, “I want you to picture all of your cursed energy going through a single point. Much like how the heart transports blood throughout your body, this needs to be the heart of your energy.”

 It falls quiet between us and all I can hear is the running water of the stream that flows under the pavilion. 

 “I can’t do this, Sukuna just keeps talking,” he finally sighs defeatedly. 

 I can’t help but to laugh, “Is he really that bad?” 

 “Yes. He is really that bad.” 

 “I’m sorry, I know that must be hard for you,” I want to say more. Tell him how much it must suck to have his childhood stolen by a monster, how it pains me that he’ll never have normal teen years, but I don’t. 

 “It’s fine, I chose this, I wouldn’t take it back even if I had the chance to,” he pulls his arms in from his T position to put them behind his head, I do the same. 

 “What’s he like?” I ask out of pure curiosity. 

 “Annoying, but mostly scary,” he admits. 

 “Scary how?” 

 “Scary in an unpredictable way. Like at any moment he could take over and I would no longer have control.” 

 “Neither I nor Gojo would let that happen,” I try to relax his fears, “I could take him, don’t worry.” I give him a big reassuring smile. 

 His little childlike face lights up like he just opened a whole can of hopefulness, “I have no doubts in you, sensei.”

-

 I skip lunch, not really feeling up to food right now. My conversation with Yuuji really put me down—farther than I already was. He continued to tell me about how he grew up, and how he basically had no family. That he was grateful for meeting Megumi and for Gojo bringing him in. He really holds his friends in such high regards and it’s nice to see so much humanity and kindness in one person. He was giving me so much hope for the future of sorcery until I remembered that he is in fact sentenced to death and my whole mood was ruined. It’s just another reminder of how cruel the sorcery world is, how unforgiving it can get. How it takes the brightest of children and kills everything they are. 

 I lay in my bed just staring at the ceiling. I think about Yuuji and my own boy. How similar they were from the beginning. I pray Yuuji never loses his innocence, but I know that’s just wishful thinking. That innocence is already gone. If it were up to me none of these kids would ever feel pain. I’d take all of it away from them if I could. I’d take it away from Gojo too. I may not know everything about him, but I know he’s hurting over something. 

 “Not hungry?” 

 Speak of the devil. 

 “No, not today,” I answer him, not even bothering to look at him. 

 “You okay? You seem off,” Gojo slides my window all the way open to lean over the frame. 

 “I’m fine, just tired.” 

 “I feel like that’s a lie, but I know you won’t tell me the truth so it’s good enough,” he sighs. 

 “What about you? You aren’t eating either.” 

 “I never stop eating,” he laughs, “Don’t worry about me.” 

 “Wasn’t planning on it,” I say under my breath. I know he hears me, but he pretends he doesn’t. “Anyways, where have you been?”

 “I had some things to take care of, that’s all,” I can hear him shuffling into my room from the window. 

 “You know, you should really stop coming in here like that, someone may see and get the wrong idea,” I say finally sitting up, pulling my knees to my chest as I do. 

 “Nahhh,” he shrugs off as he begins to snoop around. I think back to this morning when I was doing the same thing in his room. I would never leave anything that would make me seem vulnerable out in the open though, that’s where we differ. I could never be so foolish. My room also isn’t as messy as his anymore since I cleaned just an hour earlier.

 “Why don’t you have any pictures up?” He asks as he eyes a snow globe that’s sitting on my desk. 

 “Haven’t got anyone to have pictures of,” I reply bluntly, it comes out more melancholic than I wanted it to. He doesn’t say anything back. 

 I watch as he sits on my floor, right in the same spot he slept a couple nights ago. He lays back and stretches out like a cat. 

 “Gojo, I don’t want to sound rude, but I’d just like to be alone right now,” I try to say in the nicest way possible. I wish he would’ve asked before coming in to begin with. 

 “Why don’t you call me by my name?” His question throws me off, like he’d just fully ignored my statement. 

 “What?” 

 “Why don’t you call me by my name?” He repeats. 

 “I do?” 

 “No, Gojo is my last name.” 

 “I know that,” Does he think I’m stupid? I know how names work in the Japanese language. 

 “You’re allowed to call me Satoru,” he snorts. 

 “I’m fine with Gojo,” I can feel the tension in my voice tightening as I grow more frustrated with him being in my space. 

 And as per usual, he reads me perfectly, “Suit yourself, I guess.” He gets up from his spot and walks back over to my window, “I’ll see you later, Y/N.” His demeanor changes, he doesn’t look back at me before he leaves and he’s gone in seconds.

 I feel my chest ache more for being like that to him, shutting him out is hard especially when he’s just so kind. I know I’m hurting myself doing this, but I don’t care. I know if I get any closer to him that’ll be the end for me. I’ll fall for him and then I’m done. I will have lost. But God, it’s so fucking hard when he’s so compelling. Everything about him draws me in, and I’m trying my hardest to resist. 

 I tug at my hair, letting out a groan of irritation. Just get it out of your head, I beg myself, Please. 

-

 The rest of the week goes by slowly. Mainly consisting of training Yuuj in both cursed energy control and combat with cursed tools. He’s a fast learner and super enthusiastic. He’s really made me feel my age, trying to keep up with him is like chasing a squirrel. Definitely made it known how out of shape I was. I started working out again because of him. I run in the mornings before everyone’s up and move the huge tires they have on the practice field back and forth after everyone’s gone to sleep. 

 It’s Friday, I wake up with the worst ache I’ve ever known moving throughout my entire body. I don’t want to get up, but I know I need to. Due to my new workout schedule, my sleep has been reduced to just a few hours which probably isn’t healthy, but what can you do? 

 With heavy eyes, I tear myself from my bed and throw on some running shorts. I grab my tennis shoes from the floor and hold them in my hand. The sky's still somewhat dark when I get outside. The late July air is warm but not scalding. I take in a deep breath and make my way to the track. 

 There’s something so comforting about running alone this early in the morning. The world is still so quiet. And since we’re kind of in the mountains, the breeze that flows through the trees is soothing on my muscles. The birds sing and there’s no loud cars to drown them out. It’s blissful. It gives me room to think. And I’ve had so much time to think. 

 Gojo never pushed on the matters of our conversation that we had Monday. Matter of fact, we haven’t really spoken much at all. He’s been texting me though. Every night in fact. Wondering where I was. I think he just assumes we’ll spend every night out on the deck talking. Now that I workout every morning and night, I no longer have to run into him in the dorms. It’s better this way whether he believes that or not. I’ll give in tonight though. I can’t just cut him out completely, that would create too much of a toxic workplace, and I’d rather not deal with that. 

 I get back to our dorms by six thirtyish according to my watch. I’m out of breath and desperate for water. I slip my shoes off before entering our building. Just as I open the door, I’m met with that six foot three wall that always tends to show up at the most inconvenient times. 

 “You do not look well,” he snorts as he takes in my dishevelled appearance. 

 “No shit, I just ran three miles,” I heave out, “Now if you’d please move.” 

 I start to walk towards my room, but he blocks me with his lean body. 

 He looks down at me with his masked face and smirks, “You know, the other day I noticed a very strange smell in my room.” 

 “Maybe you should clean it then,” I suggest as I still try to get by him, just desperate to get into my room. 

 “It smelled a bit,” he leans down closer so that he’s right in front of my face, “burnt.” 

 My eyes go wide, and I try to play it cool, “Like how?” 

 “Were you or were you not in my room?” His arms cross over his chest, but he isn’t angry. He’s more amused than anything, maybe he’s giddy over the assumption that I was so curious about him that I’d sneak into his room without him there. 

 “Monday?” I try to play it cool, “Yeah, I was looking for you, but you weren’t there so I left.” 

 His smirk grows into a sly smile, and I’m finally able to push past him, “Maybe don’t leave your door unlocked next time.” 

 I enter my room quickly and shut the door behind me. My heart’s beating out of my chest, and I’m overthinking everything. He definitely left it unlocked on purpose. He knew. He knew I’d let my curiosity get the best of me. God he is so—

 Has he done the same to mine? Has he snooped around my room without me knowing? Has he found anything that he could use against me? 

Use against me. 

 Why would he ever use anything against me, he’s not that type of person. I need to stop being so paranoid. 

 I shake everything from me and strip my body of the sweaty clothes I have on. I turn my shower on and step into the hot stream of water. Washing away everything with the dirt and grime. 

-

 I sit in the grass overseeing my students practice with each other. My jacket is tied around my waist and the warm early evening breeze blows through me. I watch with a proud smile on my face as Yuuji pins Megumi to the ground using a move I taught him. Megumi’s face is showing that he’s unhappy with it, but I know he secretly likes it. If the person I was crushing on pinned me down like that, I’d be swooning. 

 “Alright, alright that’s enough, my turn,” Maki chimes in as she pulls Yuuji by the collar to fight her cousin. She helps Megumi to his feet and they ready their positions. 

 “Yuuji’s doing well,” Gojo’s voice suddenly says beside me. His little teleports don’t even phase me anymore, I’ve just accepted that he could show up at any time. 

 “He’s a fast learner,” I reply, “We work well together.” 

 “I think it’s because you two are so much alike,” He leans back in the grass at an angle as we both watch the Zen’in rejects scrap. 

 “Really?” I ask, looking at him. It always surprises me how he always looks so calm and collected even when it’s hot out. 

 “Yeah, I think so at least,” he reiterates. 

 “I thought maybe you and I were more alike than anything,” I add, turning back to the dual. 

 “Oh really? And why is that?” 

 “Just a feeling.” That’s all I give him because that’s all it is, just a small gut feeling. Maybe that’s why he bothers me so much internally, sometimes he’s like looking into a mirror at my old self. Myself before the loss, before the innocence was taken from me. 

 I suddenly feel sick and excuse myself from him, making my way to the nearest bathroom. I find one just inside the nearest building and lock myself inside. I turn the sink on to let cold water run, my palms cup and pool with the water. I bring it to my face to cool myself off, the cold shocks my nerves back into normality. It’s just the heat, that’s it. Nothing else. 

 “Y/N?” It’s him. He’s knocking at the door, and I roll my eyes. 

 “I’m fine, the heat’s just gotten to me,” I try to keep a cool tone so that maybe he won’t pry any more. 

 “Okay, just making sure you’re alright.” It works. 

 He leaves me, and I can breathe again. As I stand there leaning against the sink, I think back to what Megumi said. 

 He’s different around you.

 My head starts to ache. I’m a terrible person. How evil of me to be so cruel to him lately. He’s nothing but kind to me, and here I am pushing him away. I’ll talk to him tonight, explain my behavior. There’s no reason I should be making myself miserable like this. I’m allowed to be happy. I unlock the door and leave the bathroom, meeting back up with him on the practice field.

 “Oh good, you’re back,” he says, throwing his arm around my neck like he does to Megumi, “I was wondering if you’d be so kind as to join me for dinner tonight in our lovely dorm’s kitchen.” 

 I look at him funny, not at all expecting him to ask me that. 

 “Oh don’t give me that look, I promise you’ll love it,” he says, letting go of me and walking towards the students to dismiss them. 

 Megumi is on the ground once again as Maki holds his arm behind his back in a painful manner. He takes a deep breath the second she gets off of him and he pushes himself up defeatedly. They all start to walk back to their dorms and Gojo escorts me back to ours. 

 “I’m gonna change clothes first, if you don’t mind,” I say walking towards my door. 

 “Yeah, go ahead, I was gonna do the same.” We both enter our rooms simultaneously, I strip my thick uniform off of me and try to find something to wear. I realize I have no idea what’s appropriate, so there’s no other choice than to ask the man that invited me his opinion. 

 I walk over to my window, sliding it open and leaning over it. “Gojo!” 

 I wait a few seconds before he slides his own open. His torso is bare from what I can tell but I can really only see his shoulders. “Yes?” He answers.

 “What do I wear?” I feel silly for even asking. 

 He laughs, “Whatever you feel comfortable wearing, this isn’t a five star restaurant.” 

 I groan in false annoyance and get back to my clothing hunt. I find a pair of black athletic joggers in my drawer and pull them on. I start rummaging through my closet before finding a loose fitting travel tee that I’ve had for forever. I throw it on and meet Gojo in the hallway. We walk down to the dorm’s kitchen together, but he stops me before I can enter. 

 “Close your eyes,” he tells me. Skeptical, I close my eyes and go along with it. His hand grabs my wrist and my skin lights up at the feeling of him squeezing me. He leads me in and I’m growing weary at what he has planned. 

 “Okay, now open,” he instructs. 

 My eyes open to see the kitchen’s island full of different ingredients all for different dishes native to where I’m from. 

 “Gojo, what the fuck?!” The words stumble out before I can stop them, “How did you get all of this?” 

 “I had them shipped, that’s what I was doing last weekend,” He’s got the cheekiest smile on his face. 

 “But how? There’s no way it got here that fast!”

 “Expedited,” He adds. 

 If I didn’t know better I think I’d kiss him right here and now, but of course, I know better. I continue to look over everything, putting recipes together in my head that I’ve known for as long as I can remember. 

 “Wanna help me cook?” I ask him. He more than happily obliges and we get to work on dinner.  

 “No, Gojo that’s—“ My own laughter cuts me off, Gojo’s chopping vegetables like he’s never touched a kitchen utensil in his life. I take over quickly as we both are thrown into a laughing fit. He backs off a little bit to let me do it, his gaze is heavy on me and I’m trying to not think too much of it. 

  “Should I open the wine?” He suggests. 

 “There’s wine?” I look at him as if I’m upset he hadn’t mentioned it earlier. 

 He grabs two stemless glasses from the cabinet over us and grabs the bottle from the fridge. I watch as he pours the white wine gracefully, the sparkling liquid makes my mouth water just at the sight of it. He hands me one of the glasses, I swirl it around a bit and sniff lightly like I’m a professional wine taster. The glass kisses my lips and my taste buds are overjoyed with the sweet flavor. 

 “It’s good?” Gojo raises his eyebrows at me as he sips his own. 

 “So good,” I reply with a raise of my glass to him. 

 He leans against the island behind me and just watches me as I cook. But he isn’t just looking at me, he’s studying me. Observing my every move, memorizing every ingredient I prepare and where I put them. 

 “I can feel you staring.” 

 “I know.”

 Something tells me he’s got that slight smile on his face and I’m glad I can’t see him. Something about it makes my mind melt when I see it. 

 “Okay, this should be done within half an hour,” I tell him as I set the stove’s heat to just below medium and put the lid on the pot, “Could you cook some rice?” 

 “Yes, Chef!” He chants like he’s on an episode of Hell’s Kitchen. I giggle into my wine glass as I watch him wash the rice in the sink and then pour it into the rice cooker. I clear a spot on the island to sit up on to relieve my busy feet. Gojo stands across from me leaning against the counter just beside the stove. 

 We sit in a few minutes of silence, just taking in each other’s presence and the wine. I can feel a certain question lingering, but I don’t think he wants to ruin the mood by asking it. 

 I sigh, sitting my now half empty glass down beside me, “Go ahead, ask.” 

 “What was up with you this week?” He shoots no less than a second after. 

 I huff, “Megumi and I had a conversation and he brought up something that freaked me out. Then I got depressed about it, that’s it.” 

 “Hmm, too vague, continue please,” He urges with a faint smirk on his already tipsy face. 

 I chug the last of my wine before continuing, “He had asked me what I thought about you. Not only that but Maki and Nobara had asked the same beforehand. It felt like to me that they’re all trying to set us up, and I wasn’t sure how to feel about that so I closed myself up to see if I could just push it out.” 

 “Did that work?” Even with covered eyes, I can still see that he’s studying my face. 

 “No, it just made me feel worse,” I motion for him to pass me the wine bottle that’s beside him so I can pour another glass. “You’re always so kind to me and I’m such a cunt to you.” 

 “You Americans are so vulgar,” he teases at my choice of words, “But you are not a cunt. You have your reasons for being so closed off, and I respect it. I just wish you’d trust me a little more.” 

 “Yeah, well that’s not very easy to do when I know nothing about you,” I say half jokingly, my glass touching my lips. 

 “You know things about me,” he laughs. 

 “Who’s Suguru?” The question slips from my tongue before I can even think, and I immediately want to take it back. He probably won’t even want to talk about it. 

 “How do you know that name?” I can’t read his face. He doesn’t seem angry or upset or anything. 

 “I saw a picture on the floor in your room when I was looking for you, the names on the back were Satoru, Shoko and Suguru,” I explain honestly. 

  He sticks his hand out to me to ask for the wine bottle, it wasn’t until now that I noticed his glass was empty. “Suguru was my best friend,” he says pouring the crystal liquid, “My first love, if you will.” 

 “He seemed like he was a kind person.”

 “He was.” Gojo swirls his glass around as he stares at his reflection in the drink. 

 I don’t ask what happened to him. I don’t think I want to know. I’d rather just assume that maybe they grew apart like how people usually do. Maybe they just lost touch after high school. But the look on Gojo’s face tells me that it’s worse than that. The timer saves us from anymore awkward silence as it startles us both. 

 I turn the stove’s heat off and fix Gojo’s plate along with my own. He thanks me and we both sit at the high kitchen table in the middle of the room. I await his reaction to my food anxiously. 

 “Do you like it?” I ask, nearly sweating. 

 “This food is so fucking good, Y/N,” he says pointing his spoon at me, “But I don’t know if it’s because of you or if it’s because I’m starving.” 

 My jaw drops to give him a falsely offended look, “Well, I can always just take it to the students, at least they appreciate you.” 

 “Speaking of the students,” he leans in a bit closer to me over the table, “Don’t look, but we seem to have a bit of an audience.” 

 With a slight nod to his left, I know he’s talking about the window. Now that he’s pointed them out, I can sense all of them except for Panda and Inumaki. 

 “Should we put on a show for them?” I jokingly suggest. I’m sure they’re waiting on a big romantic moment that will never happen. 

 Without a word, Gojo takes my hand in his and kisses the back of it. My heart stops almost entirely, and I can feel the heat rise to my cheeks. His lips are plump against my skin, and it feels like my blood’s run cold in my hand. 

 “That got ‘em,” he whispers as he pulls away from me, “They’re freaking out over there.” 

 “You’re gonna make them think that you actually like me,” I laugh. 

 “What can I say? I’m a great actor,” he drops my hand and I pull it back as it throbs. Of course he’s just acting. That’s all this is. I force a laugh. 

 “Hold on,” he pauses before teleporting himself out. Within two seconds, I hear a slew of screams and I know that he’s scared them off. He’s back in his seat the very next second. 

 “Now I don’t have to act anymore,” he gives me a half smile and I can’t tell what he means anymore. It doesn’t matter either way, I guess. 

 “Anyways, what else did you and Megumi talk about? I’m curious, the kid’s not much of a talker,” he changes the subject quickly. 

 “Well,” I swallow a bite of my food, “I think I got him to open up because we have almost the same familial situation.” 

 “Oh, really?” 

 “Kind of? We were both abandoned, except he got to have you save him, I just got held hostage by the damn government,” I explain as I pick around my food. 

 “What do you mean?” 

  “My parents dropped me off at a very young age at a psychiatric facility because apparently I was insane for being able to see curses. There weren’t very many sorcerers at the time so they just saw me as some schizo. Anyways, they never came back for me and before I became a teenager, some government officials came looking for me and now here I am,” I try to just shrug it off, but Gojo’s concerned face hurts to look at. 

 “Damn,” he isn’t able to look at me, “Makes sense as to why he likes you.” 

 “Might like me even more than you,” I laugh to try and clear the tension. 

 “Oh he’d better not, I’ve done so many things for that kid!” He sounds like a dad when he says it, it’s cute. 

  “What was it like?” I ask as I sip my wine, “Being a teen dad I mean.” 

 “Fucking hard,” he chuckles, “and I had two!” 

 “I think you raised him pretty well, he’s a good kid,” the smile I give him is genuine and it seems to comfort him. 

 “I hope so, I wish I could tell him the truth about his dad though.” 

 “Yeah, I get it, when or if he’s ever ready to hear about him, I’m sure you’ll be the first person he asks,” I reach out for his hand this time, rubbing my thumb over the back of it. 

 His head shifts to our hands touching so tenderly and then he looks back to me. His expression is soft. Everything in me wishes to see his eyes, but I know if I did I’d probably drown in then. My heart and my brain are yelling at each other, but I ignore it all as I gaze at him. 

 “What was it like raising yours?” His voice is hesitant, “Only if you’re okay with me asking, of course.” 

 “No, I don’t mind,” I reassure, “He was a sweet kid, well, until he wasn’t. I loved him through it all though. I thought that maybe if I loved him enough he’d stop. He’d see that there’s more to life than dark power, but…y’know.” 

 “Unfortunately, love just isn’t enough sometimes,” he sighs, “Trust me, I know from personal experience.” 

 “Yeah…” I reply as I pick around my food with my spoon. 

 “We do our best though anyways, don’t we?” 

 I smile softly, “Yeah, we do.” 

 I feel his gaze linger on me as I go back to eating, it’s warm. Like a ray of midday sunshine on your skin. It feels nice. However, it may just be the wine providing that.

-

 “Thank you, Gojo, really,” I say to him wholeheartedly as I stand outside my door, “No one’s ever done anything like that for me, I really appreciate it.” 

 “It’s nothing really, just wanted you to feel more at home,” he grins as he stuffs his hands in his back pockets. 

 “Are you sure it wasn’t apart of your big, elaborate plan to get me to fall in love with you?” I laugh, resting my back against the wooden door. 

 “No, no, no,” his chuckles come out almost nervously as he looks to the floor, “I have a feeling it wouldn’t be that easy with you, anyways.” 

 “You would be correct,” I confirm with a cock of my eyebrow. 

 It’s quiet for a moment, like there’s something lingering between us waiting to happen. “I should get to bed,” I finally speak, and it comes out more awkward than I expected, “I’ve been awake for far too long.” 

 “Yeah, yeah, get some sleep, I’ll see you tomorrow,” he says, beginning to step back towards his room. 

 “Goodnight,” I wave. 

 “Goodnight!” 

 My door pushes open and I barrel myself inside. My back slides down the wall as I grab hold of my face. 

“Yeah, I’ll show you where it is when I get back,” he says, picking up my tray along with his. As soon as he’s out of my room I take the opportunity to get dressed for the day. I throw on some loose jeans and a t-shirt and head to my bathroom to brush my teeth. As I exit my bathroom, Gojo is already back and cleaning up his pallet off the floor to take back to his room.

“Let me get dressed and I’ll be back,” he tells me with full arms. I leave my room after him and wait for him outside of his door. After about five or so minutes, he comes back out in a pair of sports joggers and a loose fitting t-shirt. My eyes subconsciously avert to his thighs. I hate it, but the thin fabric hugs them so perfectly and I can’t help but to look. He luckily doesn’t notice and I quickly look away once he sees my face.

“Okay, follow me~” he sings as he walks past me. He leads me out of our building and to one that’s behind the main schooling unit. “Here, we are,” He says, opening the door for me, “I have to run a few errands so I’ll be back this evening, If you need anything Shoko is always in her office.” I nod to him and catch the door from him.

“Oh and I realized I didn’t have your contact info, care to exchange?”

“Oh, yeah, of course,” I reply as I reach into my back pocket for my phone. We switch devices and put each other’s numbers into them. He hands my phone back to me and leaves me with a goodbye. I glance down at my screen to see that he’s put himself in as ‘Satoru’ with a little wizard emoji next to it. It coerces a smile from me as I slip my phone back into my pocket and enter the library.

It’s empty and as bad as I feel about it, I’m grateful to finally have time to myself. It’s a rather small library, only about ten to fifteen shelves of books. A few tables are placed here and there and the lighting is fairly dim. I notice that candles line the walls in their little sconces. With a snap of my fingers I activate my technique and each wick is lit with a small flame. The room becomes vibrant from the flickering lights. I smirk to myself in pride, such a simple motion but yet so satisfying to perform.

“Hello?” a voice speaks from beyond one of the looming shelves.

Startled, my head snaps in the direction of the voice, “Uh…hello?”

“Y/N sensei?” wild strands of black hair make themselves known from behind the shelf.

“Oh, Megumi, I didn’t hear you, I’m sorry to disturb you.”

“How did you do that?” He questions, pointing to the candles.

“I—what?”

“That!” his arm sharply extends to his previous focal point, “How did you do that!”

I smirk, “You mean this?” I lift my hand, and my pointer finger extends. A flame appears just above it, as if my own finger was one of the waxy sticks that clung to the wall.

“Is that your technique?” I am taken aback by the nonchalant tone in his voice.

“Well, I’m sorry it’s no shadow technique,” A playful scoff slips from me.

“No, sorry, I didn’t mean to offend,” he spills apologies, “I’m just interested in what you can do.”

“Ever seen Avatar the Last Airbender?”

“That’s an American show right? I think I’ve seen it.”

“Yeah,” I confirm, “My technique is based off of the fire benders, I have no creativity so I took inspiration from things like that.”

“Why haven’t you used it around us? I think everyone else would find it pretty cool,” he leans slightly to the right to rest a shoulder against one of the bookshelves, his foot crosses over the other.

“Cons of using fire,” my palms rub together, “Dry spells tend to be a nuisance.” He just nods in understanding as his eyes divert back to the candles.

“Megumi,” his attention from the candles lands back on me, “Y’know, I’m pretty sure this is the longest we’ve spoken, and I’ve been here almost a month.”

His lips purse, and I can sense nervous irritation swirling around in that mess of a head of his.

“Quiet kid, huh?” I laugh as he groans, embarrassed I’m sure.

“I guess.”

My feet begin to explore the room, “What were you doing in here anyway?”

“I just like to get away for a bit sometimes,” He leaves his spot from the shelf and disappears back into the rows of books.

“I get it,” I answer, “If I could, I think I’d spend every day alone.”

“I’m just used to it,” I hear Megumi’s voice echo from the back of the room.

“How come?” I start to search the shelves myself for anything that may catch my interest.

He doesn’t reply right away, instead all I can hear is the sleek pulling of books.

“My mom died when I was very young,” he finally says, and I sense emptiness in his voice, “My dad abandoned me soon after. It was just me and my sister then.”

“That’s when Gojo found you, right?” I ask as my fingers scan over the old spines.

“Yeah,” I hear a strained sigh leave him.

“That must have been hard for you, things are better now though, right?”

“No, yeah don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful for Gojo and everything he’s done for me, I just–”

“Wish you got the parents you deserved?” I finished for him.

“Yeah…” I can see him now through the shelf and his head hangs low at his admission.

“I’m the same way,” I sympathize, “My family wasn’t all that great either.”

He looks at me over the books, a gleam of comfort in his dark eyes.

“But I love the family I have here, now and I’d do anything for you guys,” a soft smile spreads on my face. He’s trying to hide it, but I can see the curl of his lips all too clearly.

“What is it with teachers and being able to get their students to speak so freely?” He chuckles.

I laugh in reply, “It’s just in our genes, it works on Gojo, too.”

“You got Gojo to talk? About himself? Oh, how shocking!” The black haired boy says sarcastically.

“Oh, hush, it’s different,” I wave his tone away.

As if on cue, my phone vibrates in my pocket. I pull it out to see Gojo’s sent me a message. “Speak of the devil,” I say aloud.

Satoru: *one attachment*

I unlock my phone to see he’s sent a picture of a little white cat nuzzling against his leg on the street.

Satoru: you think they’d let us keep her?

Me: absolutely not

“What is it?” Megumi asks, looking over the books as if he could even see my phone that way.

“Gojo’s found a cat and is asking if he could bring it back,” I say, turning my phone and showing him the picture.

“Principal Yaga’s already yelled at him I don’t know how many times for trying to bring cats here,” His eyes roll in annoyance at his elder.

I laugh in response as I picture this six foot two man coming up to the school with an arm full of stray cats.

“He’s so stupid, I swear,” Megumi’s voice moves from behind the shelf as he walks around to me. I spot a couple of books in his arms and raise and eyebrow at him in confusion.

“These are books about jujutsu history in Japan, I figured you’d want to know more about it,” He explains. He dumps the books into my arms and my body dips at the weight of them.

“Thanks, now I have homework,” I huff as I readjust them in my arms.

“I would get started now,” He suggests.

“Well fine, if you wanted me gone that bad,” I reply playfully, walking past him and to the door. He waves me off and I head back to my room with my new assignment in hand.

-

My fingers flip through one of the books. The pages are full of images of past curse users and cursed tools that are still in use today. My lips sip from the straw in my cup as I concentrate. I don’t know how long I’ve been laying here outside my window, but I’m almost to the middle of the first book, and my eyes are starting to feel dry. The urge to stretch overcomes me, and my muscles extend out like a house cat that’s been sleeping all day. I put the book down to my side and tap my phone that’s sitting next to it. I’d been so encapsulated in reading, I hadn’t even noticed that I missed lunch. My arms stretch out before me once again, this time a strained groan is forced through my lips. I sigh and lean back against the wall, feeling too comfortable to make myself get up just yet.

I look to my left to see that messy black head of hair from earlier trudging along the path in the garden. “Megumi!” I call out to him. His head snaps in my direction and he stops walking.

“Oh, there you are, I’ve been looking for you,” he yells from where he stands, “I was just about to get lunch, wanna join?”

“Please, I’m starving!” I quickly get up from my spot and jog over to him, books still in hand.

“How far did you get?” He asks as he notices the books.

“Not far at all, it’s really caught my interest though.”

“Yeah, I’ve found a lot on the Zenins in some of them, it’s taught me a couple of things if I’m being honest.”

“Oh? But you have yet to train with me?” I tease.

“After the way you took Gojo? No thank you, I’m good.”

I laugh at his response as we walk in unison to get our lunch.

-

“Okay, what you were saying earlier about not having a good family life,” he says, stuffing a spoonful of rice into his mouth, “I’d like to know more.”

I let out a sigh, “Of course you do.” I look away from him as I chew my food.

“Only if you’re comfortable,” he adds.

“I told myself I’d be more open,” I admit.

“So…”

“But!” My voice pitches up as I prepare my compromise, “You have to tell me what’s going on between you and Yuuji.”

His head falls back with an annoyed groan, like I’d caught him in one big secret.

“Please, it’s so obvious you like him,” I push.

“Fine, Fine! You’re right, I do, but you gotta promise not to say anything, not even to Gojo,” he bargains with a pinky extended towards me. I take it with my own knowing damn well I would be relaying this whole conversation to the white haired idiot later on.

“Megumi, you’re not as mysterious as you think you are,” I smirk at him as I take a sip of tea. He only responds with an eye roll.

“Okay, your turn,” he nods to me.

I lean back onto the wall behind me to relax myself before I open up. “As you might be aware, sorcery isn’t very common overseas. Due to that, I was treated as an outcast early on in life. Especially in the states, they just take that stuff as a psychological issue, and my parents let them do just that. They hospitalized me so young. I think I was around twelve or thirteen when someone from the government came for me. They took me out and brought me to that secluded box of a school. I’d been there ever since. I don’t even remember what my parents looked like. To my knowledge, I no longer exist legally,” I look up to see him with his arms crossed over his chest. He’s concentrated, like he’s taking in every word.

“Wow, uh, that’s a lot,” he shifts in his spot on the floor, “I thought my sob story was bad.”

“Yeah, I think I’ve got you beat there, bud,” I laugh, “it’s whatever though, I guess.”

“No, it’s not whatever,” Megumi protests, “It’s fucked up, and you’re allowed to be angry about it.”

My body tenses at his words. A spoonful of food half way into my mouth as it finally clicks in my brain. I realized, in the past fifteen or so years, I had been so busy distracting myself that I never allowed myself to be angry at my situation. I had never been given the time. I was always either training or exercising curses. They had never allowed me time to actually think.

“Well,” I falter, “I did not expect a fifteen year old to offer me such therapeutic advice.”

“I’m sure Gojo would say the same,” he vouches.

“Yeah, he probably would,” I pick around at my food as Megumi’s words settle into my thoughts.

“By the way, what do you think of him?”

“Huh? What do you mean?” I look at him confused.

“I think you know what I mean,” he looks at me with lifted eyebrows as he sips from his tea.

“All of you are so nosy!” My voice disguises itself in fake annoyance, “It’s like y'all want us to be a thing or something.”

“I don’t mean to push that on you!” He clarifies, “I just…he’s different around you.”

“Different how?”

“He’s giddier, reminds me of how he was when I was younger,” I notice a small smile carve into his face, “It’s just nice to see him be so energetic again.”

“I think it’s just because we have a lot in common, maybe he’s just comfortable around me,” I dismiss, “We’re just close friends, I guess, nothing more.”

I feel my heart begin to ache at my words, and my mood changes instantly. Megumi notices my discomfort and tries to speak, but my actions are faster.

“Sorry Megumi, I’m gonna go, I’m not that hungry anymore,” I get to my feet quickly and am out the door before he can say anything.

I feel terrible. One, for leaving him so rudely. Two, for being so dramatic. And three, for making myself feel like this. It’s just too soon. The wounds of last year are still so fresh, and I’m scared to heal them. I appreciate that these kids think that we’d be good for each other, but it will never be in the cards for me. Gojo would never look at me that way. Whatever the students are seeing in him now is just hopeful imaginations. From what I’ve been told, he’s always been this way. I am not special.

I clutch my chest in hopes to relieve the ache. My feet stumble over one another as I try to get back to my dorm as quick as I can. I feel so stupid for even getting upset over something like this. A dumb hypothetical situation! My mind races with solutions to resolve these fantasies. I close myself into my room to hide away from the world, as per usual when I find myself too overwhelmed with feelings.

My feet pace the floor as I think. My mind finds every possible outcome and plays them on film. Scenarios of Gojo and I, what we would look like as a couple, how dates would go, even marriage shoves itself in there just to rub it in my face. But then I see him, I see it. Gojo’s body being pulled apart just like hers had been. My brain forces me to imagine every rib being ripped from his sternum, every organ being torn from him. I hear his blood curdling scream of agony. I shut down, unable to bear anymore. I stop pacing and make up my mind.

I won’t allow myself to get used to him. Because eventually, one of us will be thrown out like last week’s trash, and for as selfish as this may sound, I pray to a god that it’s him.

-

Night falls before I know it, and I notice that Gojo still hasn’t returned. I assume maybe it’s because he just got caught up in whatever business he had been doing all day. Either way it didn’t matter to me. I had been in my room since running out on Megumi so abruptly, he came by just before six to inform me that dinner was ready. I told him I wasn’t hungry without even opening the door. I’d rather just sit here in my own self pity and wallow in it. I just kept thinking about how easily Gojo had me tear down my walls, and how much that actually annoys me. I do appreciate him as a friend, but we would never be more, there was no need for him to know me any deeper. It’s best I just distance myself and continue my work as a teacher, if I have to transfer again, I’ll do it.

I can feel the small child in me screaming that I’m wrong. But what do they know? This is to protect myself. Shield me from the hurt that is the world of sorcery. You can’t just move on from watching the person you love be slaughtered in front of you. My days are numbered as a sorcerer, involving myself with anyone at this point would be futile.

I feel a hot tear slide down my cheek. I try to wipe it away, but more angrily appear. I sob quietly, my head between my knees as my shoulders shake. It’s a short cry. Just one of those where you’re feeling too many things at once and something has to be let out somehow and this is the way it chooses to release itself. I suddenly think about how tomorrow is monday, and that although I’m struggling, I have to keep working. That I have to pretend that my own loneliness isn’t killing me slowly. Despite that, I accept it. I accept that I have to wake up at six in the morning and brush my teeth and do all the things normal people do until I’m not. Until I’m teaching children how to defend themselves against monsters, teaching them how to kill.

“Jesus Christ,” I sigh exasperatedly, my body flops to lay down properly in my bed, “I wish I was a worm.”

Although I haven’t changed into pajamas or even gotten under my covers, my eyes close and my breathing slows. My body shuts down, and everything goes quiet.

I groan in annoyance, and my head falls into my hands. I know he’s right, but it’s just hard when all you want to do is protect them from everything. Twenty minutes tick by, and Gojo’s hand forms to my shoulder.

“Told you,” he points to our students that are walking out from the veil unscathed. Surprisingly, his smug smile is nowhere to be found, instead it’s one of comfort.

“Easy, peasy,” Nobara brags, her hammer resting over her shoulder.

“Had you guys taken any longer, Y/N here would’ve vomited from nervousness,” Gojo laughs as he takes out his phone and dials what I assume is Ijichi’s number.

“Ah—Don’t listen to him, I was fine,” I try to defend, glaring at my partner as he walks away.

“No need to worry as long as I’m here,” Yuuji boasts with a puffed chest like he’s emulating Superman. Megumi is quick to smack him in the back of his head, immediately ruining his hero moment.

“C’mon you three, we’re being left behind,” I walk behind them to push them all forward.

“Hey! Gojo!” Megumi yells ahead, “Can we have a movie night when we get back?”

“Sure, but it has to be a scary movie!” He insists with a wave of a hand.

“Oh, perfect, just my area of expertise,” I add, “I say we make him buy us all snacks at the 7/11 on the corner,” I cunningly plant the idea into their heads.

“Way ahead of you,” Megumi’s voice is just as sly.

“Sensei!” All three of them run ahead of me to bombard Gojo with their demands. I watch with a smile as they climb all over him. It’s not long before Ijicji is pulling up, allowing Gojo to take refuge in the front seat. We pile into the car and direct Ijichi to the closest 7/11 because of course Gojo couldn’t say no.

-

“So whose room are we watching the movie in?” I ask as I wait for the popcorn to finish popping. I look around to only be met with blank stares. With a sigh I quickly spew out, “No nose goes!” My finger flies to touch my nose, and everyone follows, all except Yuuji who’s focused on his phone. “Oop, Yuuji, we’re using your room!” I laugh as he looks around confused.

“No, wait, my room is filthy!” He pleads.

“No worries!” Gojo interjects, walking into the kitchen with arms full of pillows, “We can use the common room in our building.”

“We have a common room?” He must’ve left that out of the tour when he was showing me around on my first day. He motions for us to follow him and we all follow in toe. He leads us to a room just down the hall from our own dorms that’s basically just a media room. A large sectional couch fills most of the room, a stack of folded blankets sits on the edge of one of the corners. I quickly grab a fuzzy blanket and claim a corner spot before anyone else can.

“Wait for me, I’m gonna go change into some pajamas,” Gojo says hurrying out of the room. I notice that I too am still in my uniform so I excuse myself from the students to head to my room as well.

I strip myself of the beaten up uniform and throw it into the laundry bin by my closet. I settle for a pair of plaid pajama pants and an old loose spirit shirt from the tech school at home. I grab the pillow from my bed and head back out into the hall, coincidentally meeting Gojo just outside my door. He catches me by my arm to keep my balance.

“Woah, slow down, we’re goin’ the same direction.”

I look up to his tall figure to see his eyes once again clad in those damn white bandages and some solid color pajama pants. An oversized hoodie hung off his torso.

“You’re in a hoodie? Do you not get hot?!” My voice raises in disbelief.

“No, I do, I just get cold really easily,” He chuckles. I remember that he’s still holding my arm and awkwardly seperate myself from him.

“We, uh, we should go,” I stutter, motioning down the hall before walking ahead of him. I think he can tell when I get nervous around him, he always kind of just stares at me like I’m a lost little puppy. But why do I get nervous around him? I can’t tell if it’s because of his immense amount of cursed energy that intimidates me or if it’s just the fact that he’s an attractive person that oozes confidence. Maybe it’s both.

“What movie did you pick?” Nobara asks me as I nuzzle into my spot.

“Nineteen eighty two classic,” I grab the remote to the tv and spring my hands out for dramatic, “The Thing!”

“Never seen it,” Megumi deadpans, stuffing a handful of popcorn into his mouth.

“You’ll love it,” Gojo adds as he sits down next to me.

“You have nearly the whole couch,” I turn to him, “and you’re sitting directly next to me.”

“Oh, but what if I get scared,” he teasingly nuzzles into my arm and pouts his lower lip, “I can’t trust those three to save me.”

“God, you are pathetic,” I jokingly roll my eyes at his demeanor. He sits up straight and positions himself more comfortably.

My finger presses play and everyone cozies into their spots. Nobara took the other corner of the couch, Yuuji and Megumi settled for the floor with their backs against the couch at her feet.

“Warning, there are some pretty brutal dog deaths in this, if you’re sensitive to that just close your eyes and ears,” I warn the group as the opening scene comes on.

“Already hate it,” Megumi complains.

“I knew he was gonna say that,” Gojo whispers to me with a laugh.

The movie continues and everyone grows quiet. The ominous music blares through the surround sound and I eye Megumi who’s getting more into it. He’s picking up that the husky in the movie has more to it than meets the eye. I nudge Gojo to look at him, he smirks at the younger’s naiveté. I pull my pillow into my chest as I focus back onto the movie.

“Jesus, the effects in this movie always get me,” Gojo whispers again using his hand to block the view of the screen.

“I know, they’re terrifying,” I reply.

“Oh, Jesus fucking Christ,” we both look to Megumi who’s face is contorted in disgust as the scene in the dog cage plays out, “What the fuck?”

We laugh quietly with each other at his reaction. I settle myself more into the couch, my head leans to the side as the exhaust from the week sets in. I keep myself awake, not wanting to miss anyone’s reactions to the rest of the movie. Somewhere around the part where the doctor starts to slip into insanity, my eyelids begin to fall heavy. I fight to keep them open, how rude would it be for me to fall asleep during a movie that I picked? But, of course, I’m not the only one that notices.

“If you’re tired, you can sleep, I won’t tell,” Gojo leans over to say to me.

“I’m fine, I’m fine,” I shush him, but before I could further protest, I’m out.

I don’t know what time it is by the time I wake up, but I’m still in the media room. The tv’s been turned off and the lights are off except for a dim lamp in the corner. I’m laying down now, I rub my eyes and attempt to sit up but something shifts beneath me. I sit up quickly to see that Gojo is asleep beside me. I must’ve fallen asleep on his shoulder. I wonder why he didn’t just leave me here when the movie ended? Or wake me at least? I observe him, which is obviously very creepy of me, and I am extremely embarrassed to be doing it, but he looks so…peaceful? Almost a completely different person when he’s asleep.

His chest rises and falls slowly as his breaths deepen. His lips are slightly parted, but not a snore is heard. His head is hanging across the back of the couch, white hair splayed every which way. I leave him be, and I curl up into the corner, my fuzzy sock clad feet resting over his thighs. Just before I’m able to close my eyes, I’m startled by Gojo’s crossed arms falling limp over my feet. I freeze in fear that if I move even a muscle I’ll disturb his slumber. I watch him carefully as he continues to snooze and see that I’m okay to nuzzle myself back into my comfy position. I can feel his warm skin against the exposed space on my ankles. Usually this would have me flustered, if anyone did it, but this time it consoles me. I find myself with a tight lipped grin on my face as I lull myself back to sleep.

-

“He never sleeps,” I’m awoken by whispering voices that I can barely make out, “…out of character for him.”

My eyes flutter open and I follow where the soft voices are coming from. Three little blurry heads float to the side of the doorway. I think they must’ve spotted me waking up because they’re quick to scurry away. My fist comes up to rub the sleep from eyes. The sun has filled the room as much as it could through the paper windows with muted light. My eyes scan over to Gojo whose top half has fallen over to lean my way. His head rested just inches before it had a chance to fall onto me. I carefully slide my legs from under his arms to sit up.

“Gojo,” I whisper as I shake his shoulder, “Gojo, wake up.” He lightly hums, I can see his eyelids shift under his bandages.

“What time is it?” His voice is riddled with grogginess.

“I don’t know, I just woke up myself.”

He pulls his phone from his hoodie’s pocket to check the time, “Christ, we slept in until ten.” He looks at me with an equally surprised expression, “Cannot tell you the last time I slept that long.”

“Same,” I pull my legs into my chest, “I actually slept really hard for once.”

“Yeah,” he situates himself so that he’s sitting up straight, “I’m pretty sure that’s the first time I’ve ever slept that deep before.”

“Hm, weird,” I add.

“Maybe we should sleep with each other more often?” He jokingly offers.

His face is met with the plush pillow my restful head laid on last night. “You’re done,” I get up from the couch with a laugh and start to walk out of the room, “Oh, and the students were spying on us by the way. They were saying something about how you never sleep.”

“I’ll get them later, don’t worry,” he hugs the pillow to his chest and gives me a smile.

Rays of morning sun make it difficult for my still sleepy eyes to adjust. The hallway is glowing a beautiful golden hue, it soaks into my skin as I walk to my room, refreshing every inch of me. Once in my room, I rid myself of my pajamas and hop in the shower immediately. The warmth of the water on my back wakes me up and by the time I get out, there are no traces of fatigue left in me. I contemplate what my plans would be today. No missions were posted for me so I have the whole day to do whatever I want. I think I’ll spend it with myself. Find some shops in Tokyo and be a little tourist. My nearly bare body slumps into my bed, my fingers type away at my phone to see what shopping is close by. I find a second hand bookstore that’s just about a twenty minute walk away.

“Perfect,” my voice slips as I get up from my bed and walk over to my dresser. I dress myself in an old goth band tee with a dark grungey plaid skirt, brought together with my beat up docs. I throw on a few rings with a couple of necklaces and for a change, I take my contacts out and settle on my roundish framed glasses. Once I’m content with how I look, I make my way out. But of course, my plans are ruined from the sudden downpour I’m met with at the exit to my building.

“Going somewhere?” I hear behind me.

I know it’s Gojo, so I answer, “I was gonna walk to a little bookstore up the road, but alas.” I turn to him and motion to the rain. He laughs and leans against his door frame, arms crossed over one another.

“You look nice,” he smiles at me, “pretty, even.”

His compliment takes me by surprise, and I feel a hot blush rush to my cheeks, “Oh, uh, thank you.” God, you are so awkward, take the damn compliment like a normal person.

“Do you have an umbrella?” He asks.

“I,” I look back at the rain and then back to him, “Do you wanna go with me?” I feel stupid and annoying for inviting him. He’s probably already made plans, I don’t even know why I asked.

“I’d love to, just give me a second,” he smiles at me again, but this time it’s like he can hear the internal conflict I’m having. I don’t have time to respond before he’s backed himself into his room. My fingers fiddle with each other as I awkwardly stand there and wait for him to come out. We hadn’t really hung out one on one since I arrived here, and I stupidly feel nervous. Which I shouldn’t because we talk all the time, but I’ve never seen him outside of his work-sona. I guess last night counts, but he wasn’t awake so I’m choosing not to count it.

“Alright, let’s go,” he says, snapping me out of my steady overthinking. I scan him head to toe, he’s wearing black torn and tattered jeans with a loose fitting gray long sleeve shirt. The way the collar settles on his body gives me a clear view of his collar bones. A thin silver necklace settles over them. I notice he’s blindfold-less as well, the fabric now replaced with a pair of thin framed black sunglasses. His eyes are still completely hidden from me, which of course drives my curiosity even more.

“Hmm, decent,” I tease, looking him up and down.

“Oh, I’m sorry not all of us can look as good as you,” he laughs off, grabbing an umbrella from beside him and walks past me. I get caught in the thin cloud of the woodsy musk scent he’s wearing. It traps me as it lingers in my nose, putting me in a trance. “Let’s go, Ijichi’s waiting for us,” he snaps as he opens the umbrella just outside the doorway and waits for me to get under it before walking.

I clutch my tote that’s hanging by my side, as I’m not really sure what to do with my hands. We make a break for the car once we’re fully outside. The rain shows no signs of lightening up, and I can even hear a growl of thunder in the distance.

“Gojo, stop pulling me, I’ll slip!” I caution him. my heart falls to my stomach as I feel the soles of my boots slide on the wet concrete.

“Quit whining,” he teases, “the car’s right there.”

He opens the door and allows me to get in first, not a drop of water falling on my head as I do. He follows after, sliding the drenched umbrella onto the floor board.

“Where are we going?” Ijichi asks from the driver's seat, his eyes looking at me through the rear view mirror.

“Oh, here,” I pull my phone out for him and show him the address, he tells me he knows exactly where it is and starts to drive off. I can hear music softly coming through the back speakers, and I assume Gojo’s already connected his phone to the radio. My head leans against the window as I listen. As my eyes follow each rain drop that races down my window, my ears are suddenly filled with a familiar indie tune.

I turn my head to Gojo, “You listen to this?”

He looks up from his phone and then to me, “What? Oh, yeah, sometimes but especially on days like today.”

“Didn't peg you to be a folky guy.”

“What kind of guy do I look like then?” he leans against his door to angle himself towards me with a smile.

“I don’t know,” I snort, “Like two thousand tens edm.” I can’t help but laugh at myself for giving such an awful suggestion.

“Edm?!” He gives me a shocked expression, “I cannot believe you just said that to me.”

“Listen, listen!” I defend.

“You don’t know me at all,” he chuckles.

“Look,” I hold my hand up in defeat, “maybe today, I’ll get to know you just a little bit more…unfortunately.”

We laugh to ourselves, and Ijichi eyes us from the mirror. A glint of a smirk on his face. He pulls the car over on the side of the street just right across from our destination.

“I have a few errands to run for principal Yaga, I’ll be in the area so just let me know when you’re done,” I hear him say to Gojo as we get out. The rain is still pouring, Gojo is careful to shield me from stray drops.

“This is where you wanted to go?” His voice is skeptical as we stand there staring at it. It’s a run down little store, nearly abandoned looking, but I know that those are the best ones.

“Yeah? C’mon,” I pull him by the sleeve after looking both ways for oncoming traffic.

We walk in and a bell dings to alert the owners of our arrival. My nose is overwhelmed with the musk of old books. A young girl, probably around my age, greets us from the register. I’m not sure where to look first, and I soon forget Gojo is even with me as I get distracted. Books of all kinds sit in straight rows. Manga, English literature, Japanese literature, poetry, anything you could think of was here, old and new. The wooden floor creaks beneath my boots as I turn to each aisle. My fingers run over beaten spines until they find one they fancy enough to pull out. It’s a fairly thin book by a Japanese author, I flip through it quickly before putting it back. My eyes scan the shelf before falling on the figure at the end of the aisle. Gojo is leaning against the wall, a book that looks like an English poetry book in his hands. I observe him as his slender fingers flip through the stiff pages, watching as his foot crosses over the other.

I can see his eyebrows furrow in concentration as he reads. His white hair contrasts against the forest green walls but in the most elegant fashion. I smile to myself at his beauty, and then quickly shake my head at such a ridiculous thought. I turn my attention back to the books, my smile dropping.

“Hey, Y/N!” I hear him whisper yell at me. I turn my focus back to him once again to see what he wants.

“Let me pick a book for you and you pick a book for me.”

“Like for the other to read?”

“Well, yeah, duh,” he huffs a laugh.

“Okay, but I’m picking the saddest book I can find,” I smirk, heading straight to the books in english.

I look carefully at each book, most I recognize, but a lot of them are just classics. In the middle of all the old spines, my eyes land on a familiar blue and I feel like I’ve just hit the jackpot. I pluck it from its spot and tuck it behind my back before finding Gojo. He’s looking through Japanese novels trying to quickly find one for me.

“I’m checking out, don’t get left behind!” I tease as my feet hurriedly shuffle past him. I greet the girl at the register and hand her my book. Just as I finish paying, Gojo walks towards me with his book. I hide mine away in my tote, not wanting him to see it yet. I step back from the register to allow him space to pay, fiddling with the small trinkets that are scattered up front as I wait.

“Where should we go now?” Gojo asks as he approaches me.

“Hmm,” I think, “Coffee? Bubble tea?”

“Both?” He suggests, “There’s a cafe close by, c’mon.”

We walk back out onto the street, Gojo leading me this time. I notice the book he bought rests in his hand that isn’t holding the umbrella. I offer to put it in my bag with mine but he declines, noting that he also wants his book reveal to be a surprise. I roll my eyes at his playfulness. We walk in silence as he directs us, the rain around us pierces the ground with dull thuds.

“Oh, here we are,” he stops abruptly, pulling the wooden door open for me. I thank him as I walk through.

“Find us a table, I’ll get our drinks, what do you want?”

“A milk tea is fine,” I reply, he nods and walks up to the counter. I pick the empty table in front of the window. The cafe isn’t busy, just a couple of people are sitting here and there. It has a bit of a dark academia feel to it in the way it’s designed and decorated, the gloomy weather compliments it perfectly.

“Your milk tea m’lady,” Gojo says, setting down my drink and taking his seat, “Now for the book reveal.”

“You are absolutely gonna regret coming up with this idea,” my voice dips into playful malice.

“Okay, three, two..”

“One!” We both pull our books out and present them to each other on the table.

“Song of Achilles?” His brow raises.

“And I cannot read the one you got me,” I laugh awkwardly. The whole cover was in Japanese and I assumed the book was too.

“No Longer Human,” He says, “by Osamu Dazai.”

“Oh, I’ve heard of that one! It’s been on my to be read list for forever,” I tell him in excitement, “How am I supposed to read it though?”

“I thought maybe I could read it to you,” He offers with a soft voice, looking to me for approval.

I smile, “Only if I can read this to you first.” I motion to my book.

“I would love that.”

I laugh softly as I take a sip of my tea. I watch as he leans back in his chair, his own drink to his lips. He’s looking out of the window, and with the way his head is positioned I can almost see the hue of his eyes. Just before they reveal themselves to me he pushes his sunglasses back up with his fingers. I sit back in disappointment. He likes to get on me about not opening up, but I’ve yet to see this fucker’s full face. Hell, this is the first time I’ve seen his forehead. I understand his frustration with me now. It doesn’t feel good to be shut out, no matter who it is. I’m going to be working with him permanently—hopefully—I need to start learning to be myself around him.

“So, why’d you pick this book?” He leans his chin on his propped up arm.

“Oh, uhm,” I gather my thoughts, “It’s my favorite book, actually. I was surprised to see it there.”

“Why is it your favorite?” He looks at me with intent to learn.

“Their love for each other, I think,” I look down at the book, my fingers tracing over the raised design, “I think love, when the whole world is against it, is the most beautiful.”

His face softens at my words, “Could we start this tonight?”

“Yeah, sure, if you want to,” I smile, “Don’t blame me though when you’re crying your eyes out.”

“Oh, please, it’s probably not even that sad,” he chuckles.

“Try and tell me that again when we finish,” I test, “Why did you pick yours?”

“I’d never read it, I’ve always wanted to, so I thought why not now,” he adds, picking up the book and examining it.

“Fair enough,” I shrug, turning my head to look out the window, “Oh, it’s stopped raining.”

“Wanna go walk around? See just a little bit of Tokyo?” Gojo suggests. I nod in agreement and grab my tote before following him out of the cafe. We spend the next couple of hours exploring the area. Going in and out of small shops, taking pictures in pretty spots, and laughing at my terrible Japanese. I don’t know why I picked today to practice talking with strangers, but of course it wasn’t turning out in my favor.

I’ve learned so much about him within just a short time. He told me about how he and Shoko, who I’d met briefly my second week here, were classmates. I learned that he’d had Megumi since he was just around six or seven. He also opened up to me about never having many friends growing up, I assured him that I didn’t either. I think that brought him a bit of solace. I think back to what he told me before, that he hadn’t had the best childhood as he grew up in a major family. I wonder what the details are, abusive father? Overbearing mother? Unkind staff? I feel it’s best not to ask, he clearly doesn’t like talking about it. Nonetheless, I wonder if there’s anything I can do to help him heal.

I shake the thought as I hear Gojo yelling towards me asking if I wanted to get lunch. I, of course, said yes. We settle for a sushi place in the area and load ourselves full of the raw rolls. Sushi tastes like heaven here, which I expected obviously. We eat so much, I can almost see both of our bellies swell.

“Gojo, I literally cannot move,” I groan miserably.

“I think we went a little overboard,” he begins to laugh, but it quickly transitions to a coughing fit.

“You can never go overboard on sushi.”

“Maybe you’re right,” he says, pulling out his phone and dialing Ijichi’s number. He gives him our location and hangs up swiftly.

“I need a nap now,” I sink down into the booth we’re sitting at, “That’s what I’m doing as soon as I get back.”

“A nap sounds so nice,” he stretches out his arms in front of him.

“You think we could sneak into our rooms without the gremlins seeing us?”

“Oh, I know a way,” the look on his face has me second guessing my question. I don’t know what he’s planning, but I know it isn’t good. We spot Ijichi pull up outside on the other side of the road, and meet him outside.

Within twenty minutes or so, we’re pulling up to the front of the drive. I follow Gojo out and we wave Ijichi goodbye.

“So how are we going to avoid running into them?” I ask as we just stand there.

“Get on my back “ he commands, bending down for me.

“What?”

“Y/N, Get on my back.”

I do as he says reluctantly, not really knowing what he’s about to do.

“Hold on tight,” I can hear the slyness in his voice. Before I know it, we’ve extended stories into the air.

“Goj—Gojo, no, no, no, no,” I begin to panic and hide my face into the back of his shoulder, “You gotta put me down, I can’t—Fuck, I can’t do this.”

“I’m not gonna drop you,” he tries to comfort, but it doesn’t work. My arms squeeze tighter around his neck, and his grip on my legs strengthens as well. I know he wouldn’t drop me, but….I’m in the air. I’m scared. I can feel his body moving, like he’s walking, my eyes peek open to see him doing just that. He’s walking on nothing.

“How the fuck are you doing this?” I question in a distressed manner.

“Magic,” is the answer he gives me. My eyes shut tight again, and I curse him in my head for doing this to me.

“Look, we’re already here, open your eyes,” he says, letting go of my legs.

I jump down from him frantically and try to calm the racing heart in my chest. “You are never allowed to do that with me ever again,” I scold as he laughs at me.

“You did surprisingly better than most!” he boasts.

“Oh, so you take all of your dates flying?” I cringe at myself immediately as I realize what I just implied.

“Date?” He smirks with a lifted brow.

I panic like a middle school girl and dash past him to make a break for my room. The second I’m safe inside I tear myself apart.

“Stupid, stupid, stupid!” My fingers pull strands of hair every which way, “Do you not think before speaking?! This is how shit gets started!”

My whole body feels like it’s disintegrating into embarrassment as I drop to the hardwood floor. How could I be so careless with my word choice? Of course it wasn’t a date. Why did I say that? He’s going to think of me as some sort of child now, thinking I can’t keep my personal feelings out of the work space.

Knock, knock, knock.

“Y/N, can you open the door?” Gojo’s muffled voice sounds through my door.

“Maybe if I don’t say anything, he’ll leave,” I whisper to myself.

“I can hear you, dumbass.”

“Fuck,” I give up and pull myself up from the floor. With my head hanging low, I open up my door to reveal the man I’d previously run from.

“You are insanely dramatic, do you know that?” He chuckles as he leans against the threshold.

“Look who's ass is talkin,” I retort.

“You didn’t need to run off that way, I knew what you meant,” His tone soothes my embarrassment, “Dates can be for friends too, y’know?”

“Sorry, I tend to let my negative feelings get the best of me,” I apologize, my hand rubbing the back of my neck.

“So do I, sometimes,” he comforts, “Anyways, I’ll leave you be.” He walks away with a look of disappointment, like he was expecting me to say more.

“Yeah, see you later,” I awkwardly wave him off and shut my door. I sigh as I over think the whole situation, my brows furrow in frustration. My clothes fall to the ground haphazardly as I strip them from my body. I pull a big t-shirt from my bottom drawer and throw it on before cowering into my bed, pulling the blankets over my head and hiding from the world. My mind shuts out everything and it isn’t long before I slip into slumber.

-

“You’ve always been fucking weak,” he spits at me.

I’m stuck again, forced to sit and listen. I watch as he lifts her.

“I’ve wanted all of you dead since the beginning,” malice coats his words, “I’ll start with her, then go to them, and then it’s you.” He points to my fellow sorcerer and then to each of my students. I try to scream, to beg for him to stop, but, of course, my mouth won’t open. My head starts to pound from how hard I’m trying, and I just wish someone would put me out of my misery. I begin to cry from frustration as he releases a cursed spirit onto her before everything goes black.

My eyes shoot open and I’m drenched in sweat. A tight pressure surrounds me, like arms wrapped around my body.

“Y/N, it’s okay, you’re at home,” it’s Gojo’s voice. I can’t even say anything to him before my eyes release the tears they’d been so desperate to let go. My hands squeeze his arms as a way to ground myself, my nails dig into his skin. I can feel his hand rubbing the back of my head as he tries to calm me down, but I can’t even think of anything else. I sob harder than I have in a while. I cry out of fear, out of sadness, but mostly I’m crying out of frustration with myself. I hate myself for what I did and didn’t do. I hate myself for letting my past ruin such a good day for both of us.

“Y/N,” Gojo tries to hush, “You’re safe, nothing’s gonna get you.”

I cry harder at his words. I know he means well, but what’s done is done.

“It already did,” I choke out.

He takes in a deep sigh. “Alright, sit up, it’s time to talk,” he lifts my limp body up straight to look at him. My palms cover my eyes as tears continue to spill. I lean my back against the wall for support.

“Look at me,” his gentle hands lower mine. Through blurry eyes, I see him. Pajama clad legs sit crossed across from me, his eyes clothed and his hair a mess. I realize I don’t even know what time it is. The light in my room is dim all but except the small lamp on my desk that’s been turned on.

“I’m giving you one free therapy session because I like you and you’re my friend,” I want to laugh at his cadence, but I can’t bring myself to even curl my lip to smile. I calm my crying for a moment, taking in a deep breath and holding it before exhaling.

“When I was still teaching back home, a few years ago I found a young boy that’d come from a small town. He’d been mistreated and outcasted, you know how people treat us in rural areas,” I explain, he nods and I continue, “I took him in, he couldn’t have been older than fourteen. His parents were deceased when I originally found him so I was all he kinda had. I was still a kid myself, and my teaching career had just started, I had no fucking idea how to take care of this kid. I brought him back to our institute and spoke with our higher ups to sort things out for him. They agreed to have him stay with me. I personally trained and cared for this kid. We got super close and built a bond.”

“Funny, kinda like me and Megumi,” Gojo adds.

“Yeah, well, this gets darker,” I sniffle before continuing, “He was different from the other students. He did things differently, processed his emotions differently, acted out. I assumed it was from the trauma he’d experienced growing up so I had one of our psychologists look at him and they set up a monthly therapy plan. I thought everything was fine until small animals started showing up dead on campus. It was him that was killing them. He had a summoning technique, kind of like Megumi’s but instead of shikigamis it was just straight up cursed spirits. I did everything in my power to contain him, but I think that just made him want more. He knew he was strong, and he let it get to him. My higher ups then informed me that he was also the cause of the death of his parents. I refused to believe it, but was ordered to execute him anyway. I think he overheard the conversation because he ran away just days after, we had just celebrated his sixteenth too. I spent countless sleepless nights searching for him, it was like he just got up and disappeared.”

“Is that what these nightmares are about? You not being able to find him?” He asks with a gentle voice.

“No,” I wipe my eyes dry, “Just listen.”

“We eventually declared him a rouge curse user after about a month. I was distraught, I felt like I was just letting him down by stopping my search, but then we get to last fall. In November of last year, we’d gotten a report of strange deaths in one of the nearby towns. Not a very big one, but definitely known for weird behavior. My partner and I were sent to investigate with our four students. We found the source of energy coming from an old abandoned church. I figured we’d be in and out within an hour, but God was I fucking wrong. We were ambushed the second we stepped inside. It was him, it was my boy that was attacking us,” my voice chokes up as I recall the events, “He’d snatched up my partner from beside me and separated me from my students. He didn’t really even have a motive, he just said he wanted to see me hurt. He wanted to see the world hurt. I stood there frozen as he used one of his summons to rip my partner apart.”

“Oh my God…” I hear Gojo whisper under his breath.

“Her body was basically being degloved. Her agonizing screams…I hear them in my head constantly. My mind makes me relive that scene every fucking night in my dreams,” My voice shakes as I explain, “I loved her, whether she knew it or not, but I think he did.”

“What happened to the boy?”

“Exactly what you think happened, I put him down myself.”

I stare past him, zoning out, but I can feel my tears steadily flowing again. “I don’t know what I did to deserve that, but I’ve been begging for forgiveness ever since,” my voice cracks towards the end. Silence falls over both of us, he doesn’t know what to say and I no longer want to speak. My eyes avert to his lap, I’m too ashamed to keep showing my face to him. A warm hand is placed on top of my shaking ones, they steady at the touch.

“I don’t think you did anything to deserve something as gruesome as that,” Gojo does his best to console me by pulling me into him by the shoulders.

“I’m getting snot all over your shirt,” I shyly admit.

“I don’t mind,” his hand rubs over my back as I continue to cry.

After a few more minutes, I eventually get it all out. My head starts to ache from the strained sobs I’d let out and all I want to do is lay down. It isn’t until I go to pull the covers back over me that I realize I’m just in a t-shirt and underwear. I can feel my face heat up with embarrassment. Gojo laughs, I’d just dumped my whole traumatic backstory onto him as I cried, and I’m embarrassed now because I don’t have pants on.

“If you’re okay now, I’ll let you go back to sleep,” I watch as he gets up from his spot on the edge of my bed. I grab his wrist before he’s able to walk away.

“Could you stay the night, please?” I feel pathetic and clingy for asking, but I’d rather not be alone tonight.

“Yeah, of course,” his soft voice replies, “Let me just go get my futon.” He leaves my door open as he exits, I can hear him rustling around in his room as I wait. I know I was just crying about how fucking depressing my life was, but I’m happy to at least have a friend like Gojo. Really, in a sick and twisted way, the universe did bring us together because of my tragedy, and I can at least be grateful for that.

I watch as he walks back into my room with full arms. I can barely see his little white head of hair under the futon, pillows and comforter. He sets the bedding down in the middle of my floor by my bed and settles everything in.

“We were supposed to start our book tonight, weren’t we?” I ask as he nestles into his covers.

“You worry about things at the absolute worst times,” he chuckles, “We can start it tomorrow.”

I huff out a small laugh, “Goodnight, then, I hope rats don’t eat your toes while you sleep.” I try to joke with him, but the sadness still buried in my voice muffles it.

“Sleep tight, I hope spiders don’t crawl in your ears,” He matches my energy exactly, and a little too well because now I’ve got my hands over my ears in paranoia.

“Oh, and thank you for opening up to me,” he says through a yawn, “I really appreciate it.”

His head dips into his pillow, and his stillness tells me he’s falling asleep, but without seeing his eyes I’ll never know for sure. I fluff my pillow just enough for my head to rest in a perfect hole. My blanket is wrapped around me with a tight tuck. My arms settle, and my eyelids fall heavy as I enter sleep once again, this time free of my nightmarish past.

“Care for some company?” I ask as I set down my water bottle on the bottom step of the concrete stairs.

“Sure, but we should wait for the others,” she answers taking a swig of her own water.”

“Oh, I didn’t get the chance to meet the other second year yesterday, Panda, was it?” She nods, her water bottle pressed to her lips. “Why do you guys call him Panda anyways, is it just a nickname or—“

“Because I am a Panda!” I’m cut off by a deep voice. I turn around expecting this to just be a joke, but to my surprise, I’m met with an actual panda. A huge walking panda.

“Excuse my language, but what the fuck,” I’m in awe at him, we don’t have students like these at home.

“Yeah, that’s the usual reaction,” Panda laughs off.

“Salmon,” Inumaki, who’s peeking out from behind him, chimes in.

“y/n sensei! C’mon!” I hear Maki yelling from behind me. I slowly turn my attention away from my new student and go to grab one of the staffs that are resting on the tree. I feel it’s best not to ask about why we have literal panda as a student.

“Okay, so, what should we work on? Speed? Agility? Strength?” I ask, leaning on the staff for support. I’m suddenly taken by surprise when Maki swings her staff at my side. I quickly block it with my own, straining against her immense strength.

“Hey, I wasn’t done speaking!” I grunt.

“Gojo sensei mentioned that you were supposedly skilled in combat, I didn’t think you needed a heads up,” she smirks.

I finally push her weight away from me and regain my stance. “Oh, you have no idea,” my words come out more in a chortle. It’s been a while since I’ve been this excited to train with students. I haven’t felt this challenged in years.

We circle each other, sizing the other up for our next move. Maki is the first to lunge. I go low, nearly nicking her feet. I somehow am able to grab hold of her calf and force her to the ground. She quickly twists her body to face me, her staff heading straight for my head. I ungrip her leg and reach for her staff instead, gripping it tightly and pulling it towards me. My maneuver has given me full access to the staff so I grab it with my other hand as well. Once I have it firm, I push against her strength and pin her whole upper body down with it.

“Maki, what happened?” I can hear Panda laughing from the sidelines. I smile and get myself back to my feet, extending a hand to help her up.

“Sorry, sometimes I get carried away,” I apologize.

“No, no, that was perfect,” Maki laughs off trying to catch her breath, “I’m just happy that I finally have someone that’s on my level.”

“Wanna go again?” My face lights up, and she nods with the same excitement.

We continue our little sparring session for the next thirty or so minutes, eventually Inumaki and Panda begin scoring us on our performances. I’m thoroughly impressed with this girl, though. Her immense strength is admirable, and she’s not just physically strong but mentally as well. She picks up on all of my moves quickly and soon begins to adapt to my fighting style. I find myself struggling to fake her out and get a hit on her. It makes me excited for the next generation of sorcerers, really.

“And that’s five for me,” my breath is shallow as I pin her down again, this time on her belly, my staff aimed at her head.

“I’m wearin’ you down though, aren’t I?” I can just hear the shit eating grin on her face.

“Yeah, yeah, get up,” I wave her off as I make my way over to my water bottle. The summer sun has fully bloomed, and I’m sweating buckets. The stickiness of my skin bugs me more by the second.

“So, sensei, how do you like it here so far?” Panda, who’s still sitting happily on his ass in the shade, asks as he fans himself.

“I like it, huge culture shock of course, but I’m getting used to it,” I reply taking a swig of my water that’s now been warmed by the heat.

“What about Gojo sensei? How are you taking to him?” Maki asks, joining the conversation.

“I think he’ll be really nice to work with, definitely different than the teachers I worked with back home.”

“Trust me he gets a lot more annoying,” Maki deadpans.

“Shake,” Inumaki nods.

“I do have a question about him though,” I cap my bottle and squat to sit down in the grass, “What’s with the eye thing? Is he like blind or?”

“We don’t know, rumor has it he doesn’t have eyes at all,” all three of the students stare at me, the atmosphere deepens as I grow more curious.

“Really?”

All three of them begin to laugh in unison. “No!” Maki adds, “He has the power of the six eyes, apparently he can see, like, everything or something like that so his blindfolds and glasses help slim the vision.”

“Six eyes?” I’d never heard of it so naturally I’m intrigued.

“Talking about me are we?” Gojo’s voice suddenly appears between Maki and I.

“Would you stop doing that!” Maki jumps from fright, at the same time I do. I watch as she gets up to escape her annoyance.

“Hey! I saw you getting beat out there,” he teases the green haired student. She huffs in response, trying her best to ignore him. She busies herself with conversation with Nobara. I notice Gojo’s attitude towards me has changed since this morning. My rejections seemed to have completely slipped his mind.

“y/n, you’re just as good as I expected!” He compliments, “Think you could take me?”

“I feel like that wouldn’t be a fair fight now would it?” I consider, since he has this six eyes or whatever, he’d be able to see everything I’m doing anyways, right?

“I can’t do much about those except for the eye mask that I wear, but I can turn off my technique, is that good enough for you?” I suddenly hear all of the students' conversations come to a halt.

“No techniques? no problem,” I hold my arm out for him to help me up and grab my staff from the ground.

Gojo walks over to Maki to ask for her staff and she hesitantly gives it to him. He removes his uniform’s jacket to reveal a slim fitting white t-shirt, he sets it to the side and makes his way over to me. I notice the students whispering to each other as all eyes focus on us.

“Don’t let me win, okay?” I tease.

“Oh trust me, I won’t,” He smirks in reply.

As he readies himself in front of me. I can see now why he removed his jacket. He probably thinks he has a way to distract me. I will admit that his muscles look very nice being squeezed by the sleeves of his shirt, but sex appeal will not work on me. If I can embarrass a man in front of his students, I’ll commit to it everytime. We circle each other just as Maki and I had done before. I hold my staff to my side at an angle, preparing for him to strike first, and he does. He goes for my shins, but I’m quick to react. I jump, using the staff as a pole vault to fling myself over Gojo’s crouched figure. I motion to jab him in his side with the staff, but he blocks me almost instantly. His staff horizontal in his hands as he’s keeping mine from reaching him. My torso is exposed to him so he takes the opportunity to give me a fast smack to the side. I wasn’t expecting him to go easy on me, but goddamn I didn’t think it’d hurt this much.

I regain my composure, unable to coddle the pain. I swing, and he meets each of them. I feel like I’m having an old fashioned sword dual with the way we’re fighting. At some point, my foot slips and I fall onto my back. Gojo forces his staff to hit me, I roll to dodge his movements.

“Oh, c’mon, I thought you’d go down better than this,” his smug face brings me nothing but frustration.

“I’m not done,” I reply as my foot catches the back of his knee to bring him down. My free hand grabs his shirt collar to pull him with more force. Once his shoulder touches the ground, I straddle his waist. I grab his staff and force it against his neck, his hand trapped underneath it. My own stops just before it hits his forehead. My chest is heaving as I pant, it’s more of a workout than it looks. Clearly, it’s gotten to him as well as his chest rises and falls rapidly. Cheers and applause erupt from the sidelines, I can hear Yuuji especially losing his mind.

“Not bad, hotshot,” I compliment, still trying to catch my breath.

“Yeah, not bad yourself,” he smiles. I almost wish I could see the rest of his face, just to see what he’s really showing under there.

I suddenly remember that I’m straddling him and get flustered. I pull myself off of him and then lend him a hand to help him up.

“Next time you wanna get on top of me though, at least ask me out to dinner first,” he makes that stupid smug face again and all I can do is hit him in the back of the head with my staff. He yelps and holds his head in pain, which of course earned a chorus of laughs from the students. And for the first time in a long time, I laugh too. Not because I found what I did funny, which it was, but just from the genuine joy I felt around these kids.

“y/n sensei, you have to teach me that please!” Yuuji chants as he runs up to me with stars in his eyes.

I bring my hand up to rub into the top of his head, “anytime, kiddo.”

“Okay, it’s lunchtime and I am starving, should we go out?” Gojo asks the group as he puts his jacket back on.

“I’m down,” I reply as I drink the rest of my water.

“Same.”

“Yeah, me too!”

“I’ll go shower then, don’t leave without me!” I yell as I begin to jog back to my room.

As I enter through the main door, I’m met with Gojo. Startled, I jump, holding my chest tightly. “Christ, you cannot do that! Wait—how did you do that?” I ramble.

“Oh, just one of the many things I can do,” It feels like he’s gloating, but in a strange way I know he isn’t.

I walk past him to open my door. “You did really good out there, really,” I can feel his praises bring a light blush to my cheeks so I keep my face hidden.

“Thank you,” I chuckle awkwardly, “I should really shower, I can feel every ounce of dirt on me.”

“Oh yeah, yeah, go ahead,” He starts to back up towards his door, “for what it’s worth though, I really was giving all my strength.” And then he’s gone.

I hurry into my room, shutting the door behind me and putting my back against it. My hand runs through my sweaty hair as I take in his words. I’m proud of myself, I feel good about my work. I feel confident. I feel like I’m getting back on my feet. The overwhelming irritation of sweat between my thighs drags me back to the thought of a shower. One short stride and I’m in my bathroom, I turn the shower on and shut the door.

-

“Since Y/N won, we should let them pick where to eat right?” Maki suggests to our group.

“Hmm,” Gojo’s hand comes up to his chin, “Do you like Japanese food?”

“No, I’ve just been starving myself since I got here,” I reply sarcastically, “Of course I do.”

“I mean specifically what do you like, goofy,” he flicks my forehead faster than I can think. I rub the point of pain and try to answer him, “I like anything really, ramen is even fine with me.”

“Ramen it is then! Let’s go, Ijichi is waiting for us!” Gojo turns on his heel and we all follow closely.

“So do none of the teachers drive? Why do you guys have drivers?” I ask Megumi who’s walking beside me.

“I don’t know actually,” his eyebrows scrunch together like he had never thought of that before, “Why? Do schools in the states not have them?”

“Oh, absolutely not,” I laugh at his naiveness, “I drove my students to every mission.”

“Gojo sensei, you hear that?” he calls out to him.

“Megumi, there is absolutely no reason for me to have a license,” he doesn’t even turn around to reply, I can picture that stupid little grin on his face though.

“Tch,” the black haired boy scoffs.

We reach the end of the drive to load into the suvs, Gojo mentions to me that he’ll take the boys with him. Nobara, Maki and I get into Ijichi’s car, my eyes search the console for an aux cord of any kind.

“Nobara, you want it?” I ask as I finally find it and motion it towards her.

“Yes, please!” She takes it and plugs it into her phone. The music she turns on is what you would assume by the look of her. Fun pop music, maybe a little bit of indie, but for the most part it’s just pure teenage girl music.

“y/n sensei, before Ijichi gets in here, I need to tell you something,” Maki leans into the back of my seat to speak.

“What is it?“

“Your fight with Gojo sensei earlier, that was weird, right?” She looks back at Nobara towards the end of end of her sentence.

“I thought it was,” Nobara adds looking up from her phone.

“What do you mean?” Our conversation is cut short when Ijichi enters the driver’s side.

“Nevermind, forget we said anything,” Maki dismisses.

She’s left me in complete confusion. I thought our little dual was fun? I didn’t feel anything off about it at all. I mean the fact that I was on top of him was a little awkward, but that’s just normal fighting? I shake the thought as best as I can, turning my attention back to my phone.

We arrive about thirty or so minutes later at a little ramen shop. I hadn’t had the chance to really indulge myself into the culture here because of my super fast paced move so I’m glad I get to spend my experiences with my new group. The restaurant is a bit of a hole in the wall, but the appearance is definitely full of life. We all enter together, only a couple of tables are full, a little old man is behind the bar preparing dishes.

Gojo yells across the room in Japanese to him, I assume he’s asking for a table. The old man nods to him, and he escorts us to the back. We’re led back outside to a more private seating area for all of us. Strings of round bulbed lights line the overhead railings. Even in mid-day, they still give the area a neat atmosphere. We sit down at a long table, Yuuji to my left and Gojo to my right. A waiter brings us a couple of pitchers of water to keep at the table. I open up the menu in front of me and am immediately overwhelmed by the choices.

“They have places like this in the states right?” Gojo leans over to me.

“Where I grew up we didn’t, but once I moved to teach at our tech school we had a few,” I answer, my eyes still scanning over the laminated menu.

“So you’ve had this before?”

“Oh yeah, of course, although it probably isn’t as good as it is here,” I chuckle, giving him a smile.

“Can we please get an order of takoyaki for the table?” Yuuji chirps up from beside me to ask Gojo.

“Get whatever you want, I’m buying,” he replies, my face betrays me as I look at him.

“Won’t that be expensive?” I feel like I’m nearly yelling.

He puts down his menu to look at me, “So?”

I look around the table to see if anyone else was as in shock as I was at his response. “Well damn, I did not know they were paying y'all like that here,” I focus back onto my menu as Gojo laughs at me.

“America really traumatized you, huh?”

“Respectfully, fuck you,” I laugh with him.

Our waiter soon comes back to take everyone’s order and it isn’t long before we all get our food. The students order a bunch of different side dishes for me to try. They make me rate each one as I taste them. Takoyaki turns out to be my favorite. These kids are so welcoming to me, and I couldn’t be any more grateful. They do make me miss my other students though. I find myself thinking of them as everyone around me continues with their cheery conversations. I wonder if they’re okay. I had left in such a rush, I didn’t tell anyone goodbye. I hope the oncoming seniors didn’t think I abandoned them, I just…I had to get out. Nobara calling my name pulls me out of my thoughts. She’s sticking her chopsticks in my face to have me try what she ordered. I take it willingly and let her know I love it.

Soon enough we’re all finished and head back to Jujutsu Tech so the students can get back to their regular curriculum classes. I sit in with the first years to observe Gojo’s teaching. You wouldn’t guess it by the sight of him, but he’s a nearly perfect teacher. His way of explaining things to these kids is in such an easy to grasp way I almost wish he was my own mentor. He answers the three’s questions with such ease and detail. He’s also just really good with kids, but I think that might be because he has such a childlike personality. I make a mental note of everything he goes over just in case it’s brought up again. We get done around four in the afternoon so the students have a bunch of freetime before lights out.

“y/n, can I hang out with you for a bit?” Nobara asks with puppy dog eyes.

“Sure, I don’t see why not,” I agree and she immediately drags me out of the building. She leads me to her room, and it feels nostalgic to be in. Posters of celebrities are dotted across her walls, different stuffed animals litter her bed, and she has a big fuzzy light pink rug on the floor.

“You can sit anywhere, I’m gonna change,” She grabs a handful of clothes and disappears into her bathroom.

As I sit there in her desk chair and wait for her, I’m reminded of what she and Maki said to me earlier. How it was ‘weird’ what Gojo did. I figured I should ask her what all that was about. She walks out in more comfortable clothes and throws her uniform into her dirty clothes bin.

“Nobara, what was that whole thing earlier about? What you and Maki mentioned about Gojo?” I ask pulling up my leg to rest under my other.

“Oh,” she gets quiet for once, “it was nothing, Maki just likes to mess with people.”

I sense that she’s lying, but I don’t push it further. I’ll investigate on my own later.

“Okay,” I try to think of a way to change the subject, “What did you wanna do anyways?”

“Oh I don’t care! I just like having someone around me that isn’t a teenage boy sometimes,” she smiles at me. I get it, I bet it got lonely around here with no female figure. She walks over to her bed and sits cross legged on top of her comforter.

“You remind me of a girl I had back home,” I rest my arms over the back of the chair and lean my chin onto them, “she was super outgoing like you, but she did get into a lot of trouble with our male students.”

“Oh like she would sleep with them?”

“No, she would fight them.”

“She sounds like someone I’d get along with,” Nobara laughs, “Do you miss them?”

“Yeah, I do,” I can feel my face sadden again, “but I think I left them in good hands.” That was a lie.

Nobara looks away, trying to figure out what to say next. She goes to open her mouth until we’re interrupted by a knock at the door. Whoever it was didn’t even bother to wait for permission, they just opened the door anyway.

“Yuuji, you moron, you can’t just barge into a girl’s room,” I can hear Megumi scold, and right on cue that fluffy pink hair peeks out from behind her door.

“Can we hang out too?” He’s giving me that same puppy dog face Nobara gave me earlier.

“That’s up to her, I’m just a guest,” I raise my hands in a way to say ‘leave me out of it’.

Yuuji gets on his knees in front of Nobara’s bed to beg. Megumi stays by the door looking as annoyed as ever. I laugh as Yuuji pleads, I can tell Nobara loves seeing him so desperate. She finally agrees to let them stay, ordering them to sit on the floor. Our conversation bounces from one subject to another, they’re eventually stuck on telling me about how Yuuji got here and where things were headed. I didn’t realize he’d only gotten here a couple months before me. He’s so natural with his classmates it feels like he’s gone to school with them for years.

“Oh, by the way sensei,” Nobara turns to me, “How old are you? You look so young.”

“Twenty-two,” I answer, I really didn’t think I looked all that young.

“Oh, you’re a lot younger than Gojo sensei,” Megumi chips in, “He’s pushin’ thirty.”

“Really? He looks so much younger,” I was genuinely shocked to hear it. Gojo didn’t look a day over twenty-five. It just made me more curious as to why he acts the way he does.

“Yeah, he doesn’t act like it,” Megumi confirms.

They continue to ask more about my students from home and how different and alike they were to themselves. I notice that it’s easier to talk about it with them than it is with Gojo. Maybe it’s because I know these kids won’t give me any judgements, that they’d be more understanding. Not that Gojo wouldn’t, I don’t know, it just feels harder to talk to him. I should be less harsh on him about how I feel, it won’t kill me to open up.

We talk for so long that by time I glance down at my phone it’s already twenty past seven. “Oh, guys we gotta eat,” I watch as everyone else looks at their own phones to check the time.

“Let’s go, I’m hungry,” Yuuji is the first one to the door, Megumi follows shortly behind him.

I decide to eat dinner with them, more or less because I couldn’t find Gojo. “Guys, do you think Gojo will feel like we left him out if we eat without him?” I ask as we sit down on the tatami mats.

“Huh? No, I think he had something to take care of tonight, he mentioned earlier that the higher ups needed him,” Megumi replies to me, his chopstick pinching noodles between them.

Higher ups. I’d yet to meet them and to be honest I hoped I didn’t ever have to. No offense, but me and old conservatives don’t get along. Old men stuck in their ways are becoming too much of a problem in the jujutsu world. I dig into the food that’s been prepared for us with a clear conscience now that I know Gojo isn’t even here. The food is good, like really good, much better than back home. I wonder how many kitchen staff they had here. Just as I pour myself some more water, I feel Toge pulling at my sleeve to get my attention. He faces his phone towards me using his finger to point to the screen.

“Is that Yuta?!” Maki yells across the table, she reaches over to snatch Toge’s phone. He narrows his eyes at her in annoyance as he was clearly trying to introduce us. Maki faces the phone to where all of us can see him.

“Hi guys!” he gives a really big smile to us all, “Where’s the new teacher?”

“I’m right here, hi!” I yell so my voice reaches the phone at the end of the table, “I’ve heard a lot about you!”

He laughs, “I hope only good things.”

“Yuta, how’s Africa?” Panda chimes in.

He answers gleefully and continues to catch up with his classmates. I wonder how long he’s been gone. I can see Toge beside me getting antsy to get his phone back. I suggest to Maki that maybe we should give him time to speak to Yuta since he’s the one that called him. She obliges and says bye to her friend before handing the phone back over to Toge. He excuses himself and runs off to his room.

“Those two are so in love it’s sickening,” Maki grumbles.

“Wait, those two are dating?” I nearly choke on my food.

“Yeah?“ She looks at me confused.

“Sorry, I just didn’t know if queer relationships, like, worked here?” I tried my best not to sound ignorant, based off my own experiences I just assumed.

“Is it not like that at your old school?” Megumi asks.

“I mean, kinda?” I try to explain, “It wasn’t encouraged if that makes sense. My kids and I struggled a lot with our identities always being challenged.”

“Damn, that fucking sucks,” Maki empathizes.

“Gojo takes us all to Pride every year,” Megumi grins at me, “next year, you get to join us.”

I nearly cry at the acceptance from them all, “I’m happy to know I can be myself here.” It almost feels like my inner child is being healed by their kindness, and my respect for Gojo has gone up by at least a million points for making these kids feel seen. I had nothing like that growing up, but I’m so glad these kids do. I’ll have to give him my thanks when I see him.

Everyone finishes eating within the next hour or so, I say my goodnights to them and head for my room. I take a quick shower and get into some pajamas. I make myself a cup of tea and slide through my window to sit outside. It’s around nine thirty, so the sky is blackened and speckled with stars. I sip my mug as I scroll through my phone checking my social medias. Pictures of my old friends littered my instagram feed as they posted photos of us. I commented on each that I missed all of them dearly and that I would be back to visit soon. I check my texts that had been sitting unreplied all day. Most of them are from my old teacher’s group chat that they refuse to take me out of. I answer back to their concerns, reassuring that I was doing fine and that I’m happy here. I update them on how lovely my students are and how much I love my coworkers so far. I send them a quick picture of my view and go back to looking at other missed texts. My thumb scrolls past a thread I hadn’t been able to look at in forever. I can feel my heart sink as I click it. I shake it off, the tears that started welling up in my eyes soon disappearing.

A window slides behind me, “Ah, I thought I’d find you here.” I don’t have to look to know that it’s Gojo. He steps out, his own tea in his hand. His eyes clad with the same white bandages from last night. He’s wearing what looks like an old jujutsu tech shirt and gray sweatpants. I don’t like to stare but the way they’re hanging off his hips is captivating. “Like the view?” he teases as he sits down against the support beam across from me.

I avert my eyes quickly, “Uh, y-yeah, the garden is beautiful.” I slap myself mentally, of course he caught me staring.

He laughs and takes a sip from his cup. “So how was hanging out with the first years today?”

“I loved it, these kids are really welcoming,” my fingers curl around my warm mug as a breeze blows through.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, they did, however, basically call you old earlier,” I giggle, “Had no idea you were so much older than me.”

“Oh so now they’re putting my business out there?” He jokes, setting his mug down beside him.

“I told them you didn’t look a day over 25,” My laugh echos into my cup as I take a sip. “They also told me you take them to Pride every year.”

“Damn, they’re outing me now too?!”

“Don’t worry, they said nothing about your sexuality, and I promise you as a bisexual I do not give a fuck what you indentify as,” I reassure.

“Well as a bisexual, I agree with your statement,” he winks at me as he takes a sip of his tea.

“How do you get that by the higher ups though?”

“You think I give a fuck what the higher ups say?” He laughs as if I offended him. I put my hands up as if to say ‘my bad’.

“Anyways, I think it’s great what you’re doing for those kids, this next generation really needs older queer mentors,” I pause for a moment, “especially in a world as fucked up as the sorcery one is.”

“Was your school not accepting?” He sets his cup down again and leans onto his now propped up knees to listen closer.

“Not really,” I explain, “My trans kids suffered a lot, it’s one of the reasons I left. I taught seniors though so I made sure they all graduated before I did.”

“I’m sorry,” I hate the way he’s looking at me, like I’m some pitiful little sob story.

“It’s fine.”

“No, Y/N, it really isn’t,” he inches his body a bit closer to mine, “None of you deserved that, not even a little bit.”

“Gojo, I get it, really I’m fine,” I’m pushing him away again, he just keeps getting a little too close.

I notice he scoots back against the beam and looks out over the garden. “Anyways,” I change the subject awkwardly, “what exactly is the deal with your eyes, can I see them?“

My newfound curiosity catches his attention, “One, no and two, why would I tell you anything about me when you won’t even allow me to know anything about you?” He says it in a teasing manner, but I know what he’s trying to get across.

“Fair enough,” I reply defeated, “what do you wanna know?”

“That nightmare this morning,” his arms cross over his chest, “what was it about?”

I sigh knowing he won’t give up on it, “I was stuck, I couldn’t move or speak. And I was being forced to watch an old friend get ripped apart by a curse user. Like, physically get ripped apart.” I emphasize with my hands to imitate the ripping of skin to show him the severity of the gore.

“I’m glad I woke you up when I did then,” he replies, the concern on his face dissipating when he sees that I've recovered from the dream.

“Now explain those eyes, sir.”

“No, I don’t think I will,” my mouth falls open at his response, “Kidding!”

“I won’t give away my eyes, but I will tell you something else about me.”

I nod for him to continue.

“My childhood was fucking awful,” he admits.

“You’re in one of the major clans right? I don’t doubt it,” I empathize, “Is that why you act the way you do with the students?”

“Yeah, I guess you could say that,” he picks at his thumbs, “Megumi would tell you that I saved his life, but really I think it’s the other way around. Being around those three is so healing for me.”

“You love him, huh?”

“I’d give my life for that kid,” his tone is so sincere, I can tell he really means every word he says.

“I had a kid like that once,” my head leans against the beam behind me, “They really know how to take over your heart.”

“Yeah, no kidding.”

We sit in silence for a while, just taking in each other’s company and appreciating that we finally got each other to open up a little bit. I’m the first to turn in, the long day I had finally settles into my body. I give Gojo a smile and tell him goodnight. He tells me he’ll be up for a while, but wishes for me to have a nice sleep. I nod to him before climbing back through my window. My bed seemed comfier tonight, maybe it’s because I’m getting comfortable here. Maybe it’s just my imagination. I lay there, moments before falling into unconsciousness, I think about Gojo sitting outside alone and what he could be thinking about. If I wasn’t so tired I’d stay out there with him, I’ll have more chances though. I have a feeling our little ‘before bed talks’ are just beginning.

“Yaga sensei!” Gojo’s voice echoes through the empty room of the main building he’s just brought me into.

“Satoru!” a new voice replies. As we walk just a few more feet, I’m met with a man sitting among nearly a hundred stuffed animals.

He speaks again, in Japanese this time so I’m unable to understand him. I keep my attention focused on his conversation with Gojo, but I can’t make out anything they’re saying.

“y/n, we appreciate having you,” Yaga speaks to me in somewhat broken english, “if you need anything, let me know.”

“Thank you sir, I will,” I bow in response to his kindness, “Oh, wait, didn’t Maki say there would be a student here?”

“Oh, Panda!” Gojo adds next to me, “he must still be sleeping.” “The first years should be back, let’s go bug them, shall we?” A mischievous smile creeps onto Gojo’s face. I sense that maybe he might have a soft spot for these students specifically.

We exit through the door and progress towards the front lawn. As we walk down the steps of the main building, three figures appear from a distance.

“Gojo sensei!” a harmonious whine emits from the trio, “we’re hungry!”

The man next to me laughs, “these are our beloved first years.”

“Gojo, why do you have a phone if you aren’t gonna use it?” the black haired one mumbles. His expression told me that he wasn’t really a laid back type.

“Huh?” the teacher next to me pulls his phone from his pocket, I assume he hasn’t checked it all morning, “haha! my bad!” Steam was practically fuming from the poor boy’s ears, I have a feeling this is pretty normal for them.

“Anyways, this is Noba-“

“Nobara Kugisaki!” the caramel headed girl cheers, her hand extending to take mine.

“It’s nice to meet you,” I smile at her. I like her. Her demeanor is welcoming and gives off almost a little sister vibe.

“This is Yuuji Itadori,” Gojo continues, putting a hand on the middle boy’s shoulders, “You may know him as Sukuna’s vessel in the states.”

“Wait…this is him?”

“Well don’t say it like that!” Yuuji whines, I didn’t mean to say it in an offensive way, I just wasn’t expecting a kid.

“No, no, I didn’t mean it like that,” I shake my head, “I just wasn’t expecting you to be a child.”

Yuuji sighs, and Gojo moves into the last one. “And this is my beloved son, Megumi,” I’d never seen a grown man crumble so easily for a child. His long arms squeezed around the boy’s shoulders and pulled him into a restricting hug. Megumi was clearly uncomfortable and his counterpart clearly didn’t care.

“I wish you’d stop calling me that,” the younger struggles as he attempts to get out of Gojo’s death grip of a hug.

“Oh, c’mon, don’t be like that,” Gojo fake pouts at his student’s rejection.

“Gojo, you haven’t even told us their name, you are a terrible host,” Megumi scolds as he finally escapes from the grip he was in.

“It’s y/n, just call me y/n,” I inform the three.

“Well, now that we’re all acquainted, what should we do for the rest of the day?”

“I guess I should move in my things right?”

“Perfect! The first years make excellent movers!”

A symphony of groans erupts at Gojo’s suggestion. As each of them go back and forth with each other, I find myself in the backseat. Just studying the dynamic of these four. It’s chaotic, but I can tell that each one of these students cares so deeply about one another. Their teacher almost has an older brother dynamic with them, a mentor. We didn’t have anything like this in the states. I wish we could have though. Things would have been different.

“Okay, let’s go!” Gojo exclaims and pulls me from my thoughts. Together, we trail closely behind the students as we all walk down to where Ijichi dropped me off earlier. As the road comes into view, surely enough a black SUV waited for our arrival.

“I feel like we’ll need more than one vehicle for my things,” I laugh awkwardly, hoping this wasn’t all the space I had to stuff my things into.

“Oh no don’t worry, another one will follow behind us,” Gojo assures, opening the door for me.

I give him a small ‘okay’ and climb into the car behind my new students.

-

A summer’s day comes to an end with the chirping of cicadas settling outside of my new home. The dialogue of the show that’s playing on my computer is almost drowned out by the sound. I stood crossing the floor putting away my things. My closet was organized, my desk was set and every little decoration was in place. I did notice earlier that a tv wasn’t one of my already available furnishings so that’s one thing I do need to put on my shopping list. I also realized earlier after getting my stuff here that the teacher’s rooms were a lot bigger than the students. Ours were set up like little studio apartments, everything I needed was here. After I finally put the last thing of mine away, I closed my computer and slid my window open to sit on the back deck area.

The sky was glowing a dark purple hue, the slight shine of the moon was just starting to beam. My head leaned against the supporting beam beside me as I gazed out over the beautiful garden that sat behind the dorms. I hadn’t really had time to myself today, this felt nice, but since I was now alone, I could feel thoughts festering inside my head. I try my best to shake them, but the memories from home overpower me. I can feel my eyes start to tear up, I feel helpless. This move is supposed to be good for me so why am I still hurting?

“y/n?” a concerned voice startles me. I quickly wipe my eyes, how pathetic would I be to be caught crying on my first day. “y/n, are you okay?” It’s Gojo, he’s stepping out of his window to make way towards me.

His appearance catches my eye, he’s completely different out of uniform. His black blindfold is now replaced with white bandages wrapped around his head. His snow white hair fell flat over his forehead, and his uniform was now replaced with comfy pajamas. He looked domestic, I won’t lie, it was kind of attractive.

“Yeah, yeah,” I pull myself together quickly, “I’m fine.” He sits down beside me, one leg folding under his knee.

“I know you just met me today, but if there’s something bothering you, I’m free to talk,” I couldn’t see his eyes, but I could feel his genuine concern. His demeanor was much different than it was earlier today, less childlike, more like a friend.

“Gojo, I swear I’m fine, really,” I reassure. Please don’t push it anymore.

“Please, call me Satoru, I know calling someone by their last name isn’t really an American thing,” he laughs, “Plus, I’d consider us friends already.”

“Thank you, really, but I'm okay with calling you Gojo,” I pull my knee up to tuck it into my chest.

“Are you homesick?” he moves so that his back is against the supportive beam beside him and he’s facing me, legs crossed over one another.

“It’s not that, it’s just…” I try to find the best words to explain without having to trauma dump on him, but I can’t.

“I get it,” his arms fold across his chest, “I figure we all have something that haunts us, almost like it’s a requirement to be a sorcerer.” He laughs, I assume at the irony of being a sorcerer. That’s the only thing I can find funny at the moment.

“It’s funny,” I add, “we spend our lifetimes saving so many people…so many that don’t even know they’re being saved”. I look out into the garden, the glow of the now night sky moon reflecting off the koi ponds. “Who saves us?” my fingers pick at the hem of my pajama pants.

It’s silent as we take in our conversation, searching for what we’ll say next. The buzz of the cicadas continues to ring through the forest.

“Sorcery feels like a marathon sometimes,” I can feel the sadness grow in my voice, “but all you’re met with at the end are the corpses of your friends.”

“You sound exactly like a friend I used to have,” Gojo turns his head to look at me, “that’s dangerous thinkin’.”

“Where is this friend now?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” he smiles, I can tell he’s trying to lighten the mood. “Alright, c’mon get to bed, we have to be teachers tomorrow,” he urges as he gets to his feet and lends a hand out to help me off of mine.

I take it, it’s warm, like an oven mitt that’s just held a pan straight from the oven. His slender fingers curl around mine so delicately as he pulls me up. “Thanks,” I pull my hand away quickly, the contact making me more anxious by the second.

“No problem,” he ignores my gesture and turns towards his window, “oh and if you ever need anything, I’m a window away.”

“Night, Gojo,” I wave him off.

“Goodnight!”