born to kvetch

He must have been in the record store for the better part of an hour when the old-school bed above the door chimed, marking another entrance. He was fully entrenched in his own world, happily flipping through vinyls until something caught his eye. It wasn’t music, but instead, a presence he felt even before he saw it out of more than his peripheral. There she was: resplendent, lovely, completely the same. Not that she might have changed, but Isaac had been respectful in keeping his distance from the Miller clan, which meant that stolen glances or moments of longing had been stifled. But now, by chance alone, they found themselves in the same place, beyond the walls of Temple Beth-El, out in the real world again. Clearing his throat, Isaac looked to Naomi with a genuine smile. “I suppose it’s simply time to surrender the concept that I can out into the world undiscovered.” He released the vinyl stack he’d been propping up, letting them fall back into their rightful place, resting at a slight angle. “Not that it’s not nice to see you. It’s actually extremely lovely to see you.”

Kevin had been glad when Isaac reached out, wanted to catch up, but somehow, there was an awkwardness between he’d never really felt with his friend before. He was used Isaac’s friendship being longer distance, at times; he was even used to strange complications in exes and friends and feeling in the middle of things. This time, though, something was different, though he couldn’t put his finger on what, exactly it was. Isaac’s question, though, as obviously well-meaning as it was, sent an undeniable shiver down his spine. Kevin could remember the last time Isaac asked after Isla Jean, and he’d used almost the same phrase then. Kevin had been buzzed at the time, but still, he remembered the way he’d practically gushed about his relationship, and the way Isaac had been so silent about the demise of his. He tilted his glass to the side, considering a sip, but swallowed on air and gave a little shrug. “It was time. She’s got so many pictures of me across the table, and—well, you know I’m not all that big on social media, either,” as Kevin updated his feed perhaps once every few months, usually with a picture from around town, or one of his mini hikes, not crowds of people. “But—I like her so much. I don’t want to hide that away.”

-&-

The rabbi felt a bit like he was pushing pees around on a plate, avoiding the inevitable that in order to get up from the dining room table, he’d need to eat his vegetables. As Kevin spoke of Isla Jean, Isaac felt a warmth in his chest. It was not that Kevin had been unlucky in love, but it meant something that the man across from here clearly felt lucky to be with Isla Jean, and that the pair were clearly getting serious. “You shouldn’t.” Isaac agreed definitively in that regard. When Shoshannah had been alive, Isaac had been bursting with happiness to the point where he’d not been sure where to put it all. That happiness and the boastfulness that came with true contentment had manifested on social media, where Isaac could post about his wife and young child with immense pride. “It means so much to me to see you happy, Kevin.” He insisted, gaze briefly averting as he grew some nerve. “I know that I haven’t been around to share in that happiness with you lately. I know that I disappeared. And I own that... and more.” Isaac let out a soft sigh, finally turning his gaze back to Kevin. “I don’t know why I didn’t tell you that Naomi and I broke up. I suppose I didn’t want you to feel you had to hide your happiness about Isla Jean from me. And then it just snowballed.”

As of late, time had moved strangely for Katie. It had been a constant case of either running so fast she could barely breathe, burning the candle at both ends to keep everyone in her life happy, or slower than could have been imagined, the hours ticking away endlessly as she stared at the clock. Recovery too had been a constant state of up and down, and though she’d been warned that it would get tougher before it got easier, for a woman as impatient as Katie Birch, that was a hard pill to swallow. And yet she’d learnt to, and slowly but surely the weekly visits to therapy became less of a chore, the refills for her medication fell into a routine and steadily the clouds which had seemed endlessly dark and gloomy began to lighten. Throughout it all, her patchwork quilt of found family had supported her, and held her up when she couldn’t do it herself. Slowly Benji had grown to trust her with Connor again, the visits becoming more regular, the hours they agreed on expanding into days and weekends. The split was still undeniably more on Benji’s side, but Katie wasn’t one to argue. 

In that time of self improvement she had also tried to fix the other parts of her life that had fallen to the wayside, returning to church every Sunday, joining - and sticking with - gym classes, daily morning walks with Bobby, actually being a present parent again and scheduling her life in a way that way healthy and well structured. Somewhere along the way she had simply learned to forget about the gossip in town - she would never have a relationship with her own mother, and that was the end of it, and she had far more important things to focus on instead. She no longer felt quite so much like every eye was on her, like something as mundane as a trip to the store was a minefield for her to figure her way through.

Even sitting in the Ben-David house was becoming ever more normal. She hadn’t intended to stay, the plan simply to drop off Connor for his playdate and get on with her own life admin, but Eliana as per usual was there with an open arm and a glass of lemonade, and she was powerless to resist. Greater women than Katie Birch had buckled at Eliana Ben-David’s hospitality, and it was all too easy to settle back into that gentle rhythm she had once had with the family. The minutes ticked by, the glasses of lemonade poured and drunk with each story that Eliana told her, filling Katie in on everything she had missed at Temple and with each passing minute she felt herself relax more, settling herself back into the chair and feeling the warmth of the sun spilling across the porch. 

Eliana would return she promised, her voice already disappearing as she headed back into the kitchen, no doubt to return with another round of snacks ( the woman always had snacks ), and Katie was leaning her head back, eyes closed as she basked in the moment, when she heard his voice again and her eyelids quickly opened. How was it he always looked the same? Never ruffled or unsettled, always a beacon of calm even when she was at her most chaotic. “I wasn’t given a choice” she replied with a shrug, “only idiots reject Eliana Ben-David’s hospitality”. Or rather Ben-David hospitality in general. Even when Katie and Isaac had been at their very worse, he had never forgotten to offer her a cup of tea. “It has” she agreed, raising the glass to her lips and taking another sip. There was no accusation to her voice, they had made an agreement that their lives simply couldn’t intersect, for their own happiness. And as much as it had hurt her at the time…well, it wasn’t like they’d been proved wrong had they? “How have you been?” Katie asked, and then, after a slight pause - “how’s Naomi?”

-&-

Isaac wasn’t proud of some of his behavior when it came to Katie Birch. Certainly upon his arrival back in Eureka, things had been far from smooth. He’d been in the throws of a monumental loss, so shaken by the loss of his wife he’d contorted fact and fiction and placed blame at her feet that simply didn’t belong. The rabbi had come a long way, had moved on in a manner he’d not expected himself capable of, and was glad to find that, at least, there was a life beyond his grief. A life with new love and rough fits, relationships that perhaps couldn’t stretch the difference. Certainly he’d learned that with Naomi, a woman who had held his heart tenderly and had kept her promise not to break it. 

It had been meaningful, and it had been lovely. Gratitude and love felt too small of emotions to cover the way Isaac felt for Naomi Miller, but it was all he knew to express. He was disappointed, obviously, as he surmised she must have been as well. Isaac hoped that he had at least made it an easier job for her, though he knew it had hurt her to have to end things, in a way that, for both of them, felt unfortunately premature. 

But in that relationship Isaac had gained confidence, had rediscovered a vigor for life and a willingness to go out in pursuit of the things that he desired, whatever they may be. So it was interesting to be confronted with Katie Birch at such a juncture in both of their lives. “She doesn’t offer choices, that’s true.” Isaac agreed with a soft laugh. He had enjoyed the person his mother was, though he wasn’t much like her. Eliana Ben-David was more bold, fearless in a way he never could be. So it was nice, to have someone like that in his corner, rooting him on. 

“I’ve been fine.” The rabbi replied genuinely and with a slight nod. “Noah and I went to Brooklyn to visit some of my family for a week, and we’ve been keeping busy with some fairly regular beach trips. He’s a strong swimmer.” He noted with a glimmer of pride to his tone. It was fun, watching your child develop interests and the inklings of hobbies. Certainly Katie could commiserate with that. Isaac squinted, his expression faltering for a moment as he considered the most cordial way to reply to Katie’s asking after Naomi, a question he didn’t really possess an answer to. “I wouldn’t know.” He answered honestly, shoulders shrugging ever so slightly. “We...” Isaac cleared his throat, presenting a smile. “It didn’t work out.”

“You said it, not me,” Kevin held up his hands innocently, grinning, nonetheless, at the idea. Of him being peer-pressured; of Isaac, of all people, being the one to do it. Not necessarily because of his being a rabbi, ( though that did add a certain comic layer to the suggestion, ) but because Isaac was more about encouragement than pressuring people, at least in Kevin’s experience. “But, hey, what am I here for, if not being a good influence?” It was a lighthearted, throwaway remark, but he almost regretted it as soon as he’d said it; it left a bad taste in his mouth, for some reason, Or maybe he really did need some water. Either way, he swallowed it down, finding it easy enough to smile again at the question Isaac had posed. “Isla Jean. Yeah.” If the light were better, the heat that rose in Kevin’s cheeks might’ve been visible, but as it was, the fondness in his voice was just as clear an indicator of his feelings. “Things are going well. Really well. She’s — she’s kind of incredible.”

-&-

Isaac found that typically, before himself, he was always far more interested in his friends’ happinesses. Perhaps it was because his own romantic life was shaped by a significant, unexpected loss, but he found it easier to be more concerned with how Kevin and Weston’s lives were going than to necessarily have to look inward. Mostly because, Isaac was happy with himself, content with his career and in fatherhood, even if life looked nothing like he’d thought it would two years prior. So he was glad, more than glad, that his little hook-up plan he’d coordinated with Naomi appeared to be bearing fruit. There was no reason to dampen it by mentioning his own break-up. “Isla Jean. I’d forgotten the middle name was mandatory.” He watched Kevin’s face carefully, feeling a sense of amusement at his friend’s bashfulness. “Naomi couldn’t have spoken more highly of her. I’m glad things are going well, then. She has a daughter, doesn’t she? I’m a little foggy on the details.”

Weston: Alright clear your books for the first weekend of August, it's gonna be a wild one.

Isaac: Are we going to be wearing coordinated t-shirts?

Isaac: I don't think I own a t-shirt.

Isaac: Too casual.

As life went, Isaac found himself, in quiet moments, thinking of what his future might look like, if life in Eureka was all there would be, a quiet, peaceful single fatherhood where he raised Noah to be the very best person he could, with the little village of friends and loved ones who’d also signed on to help shepherd his son forward in life. The rabbi had really kept the break-up to himself, there wasn’t any point in gossiping and he hadn’t felt the need for comfort. It wasn’t like other endings had been. This one had been tenderly bittersweet at its worst. He concluded that, at the end of the day, there were plenty of mothers at Temple Beth-El who would bend over backwards to get Isaac to look in their daughter’s direction, so he liked to think he had at least some social credit left when it came to dating. 

It was due time to collect Noah from his parents, where he knew there had been a few hours chipped away by the presence of Connor Birch. What Isaac hadn’t really expected was to find Katie, looking so much herself as ever, in the midst of a vibrant conversation with his mother, a pitcher of lemonade and half full glasses between them. He paused in the driveway, watching before he’d been caught, observing, really, how serene the scene before him was. How once upon a time, this had all been so common. Once upon a time, his whole life had been in front of him, and he’d wanted Katie beside him.

But there was little time for such inklings, as Eliana was running inside for something, and there Katie was, in their classic little setting they so often found themselves in. His front porch. Not quite awkward, but not quite comfortable with one another, either. “I should have guessed you’d still be lingering about.” Isaac noted with a smile, a hand swiping off his sunglasses as he ascended the front porch steps. “It’s been a little while, hasn’t it?” Months, really.

Weston: Alright, bachelor party is happening in Vegas, think you can get a babysitter and join in on the fun?

Isaac: Of course I can.

“Do I need a refill?” Already, Kevin was out much later than he’d really planned to be; the thrill, the rush, of the festivities giving him energy he was certain would fade all-too-abruptly on his way back home. “Oh, no, no. I think I’ve well and truly done it, for the night,” and the broad gesture accompanying that statement was hint enough that yes, indeed, Kevin had no need of another drink, ( unless the drink in question was a glass of water. ) “But if you want something, I’ll walk over there with you.”

-&-

“Oh, come on. I can’t believe you’re getting peer-pressured by a rabbi.” When it came to a good party, Isaac had never been a slouch. In fact, some of the most raucous events he’d ever been to was in the comfort of solely Orthodox Jews. He’d been in fair share of wedding parties of various cousins and friends throughout the years, who were not as liberal in their religious beliefs as Isaac’s branch of the Ben-David family. “I don’t know that I necessarily need another drink either. You’re being a horribly good influence at the moment, Kevin.” The rabbi scolded with a smile. “If we’re going to sober up, then you at least owe me some entertainment. How are things going? With you and, um,” With a less than sober mind, it took Isaac a moment to gather himself. “Isla. Excuse me.”

“I think that’s always a good sign you’re doing something right, as a father.  Even if it changes at some point.” Cyrus mused, “I definitely wanted to follow my dad into fires.  And I mean, I took a different path, sort of, but I’m still a volunteer firefighter.” He shrugged, obviously not about to get into the fact that he would have been a full time fire fighter if it weren’t for life’s circumstances with a total stranger, even as friendly as they were. “Oh, down at, uh, Temple Beth El?” he questioned “My best friend as a kid, that was his temple.” he commented offhandedly, always having good memories of time spent with his family, especially at their gatherings for Jewish holidays which they had a habit of inviting anyone who wanted to come. 

“I loved the four-five-six age, it’s like you really get to start seeing them become their own little people.” he was unable to keep the smile off his face, remembering the appearance of random quirks and likes and dislikes that seemingly made no sense and came out of nowhere.  

-&-

“If not a little strange. To be a young child’s idol. It’s a lot to live up to, at times.” Isaac offered with a good-natured smile, tone expressing a humored good-will. “But then again, it has been something very special to share my profession with my father. Clearly you have an appreciation for that as well.” The rabbi noted with a nod. As an only child, Isaac was closer than close with both of his parents, finding through the years he had more in common with both of them than he might have ever admitted to himself in the past. “Yes! Beth-El. It has been my father’s only residency as a rabbi. A lifetime career in the very same synagogue I was raised in. I’m sure I know your friend, in fact. It’s a large congregation, but it’s run like a small family unit.” As a rabbi, Isaac took very seriously knowing all the members of his flock. 

Isaac looked at Noah with all the love and pride a father could possess. “He made me a father. Unexpectedly, but, none of the great things in life are planned, it seems.” Noah was an island unto himself as he clung to his father’s side, seemingly unaware of the content of the conversation occurring between the two men. “But you’re right, it’s the perfect age. There’s something nice about beginning to bridge the language gap, having those first real conversations with them.”

A soft smile played on Naomi’s face when he spoke about his own childhood. He clearly had parents who cared deeply for him and wanted to create just as many good memories for Noah. “That’s so lovely that you’re able to share your favorites with him. I tried showing Cinderella to the girls, but Zinnia was the only one who was really into it. So when we have time for just the two of us, we usually have it playing.” It was important for Naomi to cultivate a relationship with each of her daughters as individuals and encourage their interests, so she tried to carve out time for each one where they had her undivided attention, even if it was just ten minutes a day. “Does Noah like folk tales? Zinnia is still obsessed with fairy tales, I could find a book to share with him if you’d like.” 

“Don’t get me wrong,” she said, pausing mid-step. “Sometimes a sad ending has its place. Catharsis, and all that.” Naomi waved a hand to punctuate her statement. “But  happy ending is just so much more satisfying. It’s hopeful, you know?” She cocked her head to the side when she looked at Isaac. She had a feeling that he might be inclined to agree. “I love Singin’ In the Rain,” she replied, nodding her head. “I laugh when she pops out of the cake every time.”  Grease was another favorite, but she didn’t speak on it, as she gathered that he didn’t quite love the movie. “I haven’t seen that one yet! Dahlia wants to watch it, so I was thinking of watching it with her, just in case it brings up any … discussions that need to happen.” That was the hard part about raising a middle schooler – trying to let them growth up while preserving as much of their childhood as she could. She quietly thanked him for holding the door, and paused so he could catch up when the door shut behind them. The kids were only a few steps ahead and seemed in no danger, so she felt okay to gently take his hand. “John Proctor? The Puritan?” she asked, waggling her eyebrows. “That’s interesting. So did you prefer serious stuff or more comedy?” Marigold turned back to hand Naomi her jacket, and Naomi maneuvered it under her arm. “I think my favorite is The Music Man. The lovable con artist,” she joked. 

-&-

Isaac had, in fact, been born to two people ripe for parenthood. Eliana and Levi Ben-David were attentive and encouraging parents, which served in helping Isaac feel both seen, and loved. It had its downsides, at times, too. Like the Valentine’s Day debacle and everything that had gone on with Katie Birch, he had his moments where his own better judgement failed him, and it was with shame that he had to admit his shortcomings to his own parents at his age. But, he reminded himself, there was a time in his life where he’d thought his time with his mother might have been much shorter than they’d anticipated. In a way, he was glad that she was still present to even be disappointed. Which, she never was. Not really. “He likes anything, really. I hadn’t thought to get him into fairy tales, but he seems just the right age for it. We’d love that.” Isaac appreciated Naomi’s interest and attention towards Noah, as it spoke volumes of her character. It wasn’t easy, trying to date with children. But he and Naomi seemed to be navigating it smoothly.

The rabbi watched Naomi with a muted amusement as she gesticulated and spoke of endings and catharsis. “That’s true.” He nodded with a note of understanding in his tone. They both understood more than most that not everything received its happy ending. “She’s probably ready for it, but best for you to watch along with her. I think I saw Rent for the first time at the age of ten or so. Had absolutely zero concept for HIV or heroin. It was a fun dinner table conversation, though.” Isaac offered with a grin. Eliana had always possessed a colorful way in which to help the world make sense to Isaac when he was younger. He glanced down at their joined hands, always finding it to be a comfortable fit. “Who can’t relate to the struggle between right and wrong, faith and freedom?” Isaac had had his own issues with Judaism in the past, which had clearly been a journey brought full circle. “Oh, I don’t know. I did the Crucible, but I just as easily did Footloose and Bye, Bye Birdie. I suppose I’d lean towards the more serious work, if I had to pick. I never had much opportunity to explore before I had to grow up, get a real job. Think of the future.” Even now, it wouldn’t much do for the local rabbi to be acting, what would people think? “And it’s coming back to Broadway. Perhaps we’ll have to take a trip to the east coast. Have your girls ever seen New York City?”

Always one for simple pleasures she frequently took trips to the market, enjoying nothing more than a stroll around the stalls to see what was on offer. Her perusing was halted by a small body in her path, doing a perfect job of blocking her sight.  All it did was make her smile but before she could say anything, his father was making apologies. “You know, I think I might just be able to overlook his lack of transparency just this once.” The kid was cute and there was really no harm done, his obvious confusion only endeared them to her more.

Blue eyes lit up in amusement, her meandering all but forgotten when something else had captured her attention. “Oh yeah? Smart. But if he’s the apple of your eye I feel like he’s pretty hard to say no to.” Grin only widened as she looked at the little boy before glancing back at the stall that they were stood in front of. 

-&-

Looking down at Noah, Isaac knew he had a child that was genuinely cute, and not only in his mind’s eye. Noah took after his mother in most ways, aside from his eyes that belonged solely to the rabbi. But better than just being Eureka’s cutest toddler, Noah was exceptionally well-behaved. Well-behaved enough that he seemed to understand his father’s hinting, coming back over to his side and gripping the fabric of his pants. “I appreciate that. He fancies himself an expert when it comes to fresh produce. A very discerning palate, too. He would make a good sommelier one day.”

A hand fell on top of Noah’s head. “You can keep looking, sweetheart. Go ahead.” Though, Noah didn’t require much more encouragement to wander back to the front of the stand. “I’ll confess, he doesn’t hear no much. The crux of an only-child raising an only-child. He’ll probably end up being terrible and insufferable.” Isaac joked with an easy-going grin.