Irregular Constant

When you bark at a dog, it’s like saying Ching Chong Bing Bong to an Asian person.

That’s not true. I once taught a dog to bark by barking, because she never did bark, and we developed a language that only the two of us understood

You should put a QR code on your graduation cap that links to your resume. It’ll show up in so many photos and curiosity will be your referral.

(via fish_size)

Smoking is good for the environment because it kills humans.

I mean someone must’ve misunderstood the meaning of “DRIVE THRU”

I wish this was longer

losing your earphones and having to go to school without them is a pain nobody should ever endure

Going anywhere without them is a pain nobody should ever endure, but yes, school too.