Big Yikes

I'm as grateful for cellphones as the next person, but sometimes I think about how everyone having a phone on them at all times really did cause us to loose some things as a society. I mean - for example, kids these days will never experience their car breaking down and needing to find the nearest place with a phone they can use. They're never going to have the opportunity to tentatively approach a house only to discover that it's full of queer people having a party hosted by a transvestite to celebrate his creation of a sex homunculus, stay the night, and loose their virginity while unintentionally partaking in cannibalism. It's tragic, that kind of gay sexual awakening just doesn't happen these days because of cellphones.

at least sisyphus only had one never-ending task. i have like 50 and all of them cost money

if you hired a galapagos finch as a linecook it would perfectly evolve a beak to optimally smoke cigarettes behind the dumpsters

Unrestrained summer fun

you actually don’t have to go on dating apps to find girlfriends. many beautiful women are waiting for you on rocks out at sea

ⓘ This user is a malicious entity made of seafoam.

Out of my way, bothersome footnote, I’m about to get it

yes hi we are job website, we have plenty of diverse jobs for you! so do you want to do manual labor or get yelled at on the phone? those are the two options isn't our economy so ripe with opportunity