i will never be satisfied

in theory it would have if I hadn’t had to spend two fucking hours putting everything back the way it’s supposed to be.

believe me i know more than i need to know about how useful you find your fingers - our walls are thin. you gonna smoke them out for me? nice, that’ll definitely cut my prep time down - means i can concentrate more on the evisceration side of things and leave the goose chase to you.

did you ever think that maybe you’re just a tad bit ocd and someone may not have actually messed anything up at all? or maybe the undergrads just used it while we were gone? always so quick to assume someone’s out to get you, ivy. 

I - wouldn’t….talk about her ass. well…maybe a bit, but it wouldn’t be my main focus.

either way, the only juicy secret i’ve got is that my father was a piece of shit who fucked young boys. and honestly? the news has already played that one to bits, so you can’t do much with it.

that’s your fathers secret, not yours. and i know you’re interesting enough to have your own, or we wouldn’t even be having a conversation in and of itself. so don’t worry, charles - one day i’ll get to the bottom of it, and until then you can just keep hiding your secrets from me.

ivy: i was mostly kidding.

ivy: i've always just kinda assumed as long as they had a pulse they were all fair game to you :P

ivy: it's distinguished, and that's always sexy.

iris: that's...understandable. but believe it or not, i do have standards.

church will always be involved. i can’t imagine my life without mass. okay, okay, i’ll stop pointing out the good in you. i’ll stick with the knowledge that you ripped apart that poor guy’s heart in our first year. honestly, you probably did that to multiple people, but i distinctly remember this one.

ahhhh, so that’s how the lexingtons get away with their shenanigans. makes sense, i forget money is the most powerful thing out there. what do you mean ‘many ways?’ oh shit….oh come on. don’t tell me you blew someone just to avoid trouble.

who, damon ? he was a theater grad student which is, obviously, one of the stupidest specialties to get a masters degree in. he had it coming. who’s stupid enough to fall in love with me?

richie: alright, fair point

richie: you're smart. i also would not trust my hands right now. but yes, for once, i would actually like to get drunk

richie: i don't wanna be here anymore this is so fucked

richie: i'm itching to tattoo again and i can't even off any of you stick and pokes because i didn't bring any needles or anything. i feel like i'm going insane.

iris: richie, baby, does anyone *want* to be in vermont?

listen up bitches...

if i find out who’s been leaving the dark room so trashed not even supreme queen kondo could make any real sense out of it i’m gonna drown them in a vat of developer and pin their body up at my next showing as a warning. some of us take this ‘photography shit’ seriously and i’ll be damned if i’m gonna continue to wade through a room full of muck in order to get my work done.

do better you’re grad students not animals.

so, uh, i take it the dark room is going well ? 

i have beliefs and i stick to them. nothing too interesting about that, but if you insist. i don’t have any gossip to give you unless you want to hear how hot i think your sister is, but i assume that won’t go over too well. 

you really think i’ll marry a preacher? i’ve had enough of those in my life. i don’t need another one. they talk way too much. you could be right, maybe doing good benefits you, but you’re still doing it. that is an act of change in itself. you want to keep an image about you, i get it, but you aren’t as terrible as you think.

makes sense. parents shape us all, so i’m not too surprised. so you guys had parties….at boarding school? i mean, that checks out, but what did you guys do when you got caught? or did you even get caught? i don’t know how this works. but the thought of twelve menstruating girls….that’s a nightmare. i can’t even fathom that. 

i think if the church isn’t involved in your life in some capacity i would be surprised. also, gross, charles, stop trying to make me sound nice. i have a reputation to uphold and you can’t go around ruining it by making me sound like a ‘decent person’. 

ivy: now you sound like mother. i'm surprised you're not by-passing the nightly skincare routine in favor of surgery.

ivy: maybe for you but the only way i can hold /my/ metaphorical erection is if they don't make me wanna gouge my brain out with a spork.

ivy: hill may look like a depressed middle-aged divorcee one bad day away from hanging himself but there is literally nothing that comes out of his mouth I don't wanna hear.

iris: i do not need surgery - you take that back. i'll kill myself before i have to get botox.

iris: fair. you like a little more conversation. honestly, the quieter they are the better things are for me.

I guess I’ll be dying young then. You aren’t as bad as you think, Ms. Lexington. I’ve seen you do some good. Not a lot but some.

You know me, I try not to make assumption at all, but no I didn’t. I mean, my parents were pretty well off and they didn’t hire a nanny. They should have, but didn’t. Shame, I expected boarding school food to be better, honestly. At least in grad school we buy our own stuff and have to make it. No need to eat cafe food unless it’s a tough day.

you’ll live to the tender age of 90, in the arms of your beloved preacher wife. you’re not fooling anyone by pretending to be a badass - you’re a sweetheart, and no one can tell me otherwise. i, on the other hand, only do good when it benefits me. specifically if it helps me get further along with my own agendas.

not sure, i can’t speak for tennessee or her parents. but i agree with you, i think they’ll leave well enough alone.

then we’ll agree to disagree. for me, it’s important to feel part of something bigger. i can’t stand behind our existence being a coincidence. and before you start, yes I believe in big bang, but it’s had to happen from some divine force. i’ll stick to my religion and you stick to your lack of. no harm done. but i’m still going to kick your ass in beer pong on saturday and confess my sins for doing so on sunday.

ivy: and here i was thinking you only loved me for my killer shoe collection 😉

ivy: i just don't see the point of holding back - i say what i think and if people cant handle that its more their problem than it is mine. Luckily for me the one person i actually give a shit about has thicker than average skin and can take what i dish.

ivy: that person is you by the way incase you needed the clarification.

ivy: [message deleted]

ivy: only if they were interesting. I dont fuck boring no matter how pretty they are.

iris: trust me, that's definitely a factor.

iris: are you saying my skin is too thick? maybe i need a new moisturizer.

live fast, die young - bad girls do it well

i appreciate the willingness to help. i would have needed a damn good lawyer. for that charge. but hey, it’s not an issue anymore. i mean, it sucks lennon died, but…it was an accident so.

because it’s part of my religion. you commit a sin, you confess, and you’re forgiven for it. it’s part of repenting. i mean, i get that, but also, i don’t really feel like being hungover. i want to keep my head clear. i’ll still kick your ass at beer pong when i do drink, though,  so don’t you worry about that. 

so long as the cops think it’s an accident, it’s a-okay with me. i don’t see her parents as the ‘we demand justice!!!!!’ kind who’ll press the issue, but i dunno how things work in tennessee.