The basics of eye shapes for writers.

“Me and you, what can we do? When the words we use sometimes are misconstrued. Well, I won’t guess what’s coming next. I can’t ever tell. You’re the deepest well I’ve ever fallen into.” - You and I by Jimmy Eat World Once upon a time, you fell inlove with a boy. It changed you, distorted your life, turned you upside down. Just when you thought you’ve moved on, he came back into your life. Rebuilding the burnt bridge you did. But, as you may have noticed, everything has a side effect. An unwanted result leading to something you did. When you take medicines. When you eat too much sweets. When you stay up way too late. When you give someone you love a love letter and he ignores your confession, acting like he didn’t read it.

Chapter Three

While everyone was busy meeting their deadlines before the team building, you were left with your thoughts. Since you finished your deadlines, you had nothing to do in the office so once in a while you space out. Some days you log in to your social media accounts and casually browse your feed. Other days you think of all the what-could-have-beens in your life. What could have happened if you didn’t study far from home? What could have happened if you asked him? What could have happened if it was easy for you to move on? What could have happened if you didn’t confessed? Maybe, you were still friends. Maybe, until now, you still secretly love him. But you still do. No, no, you have moved on. This is all the side effect of not knowing. This is how unrequited love means. The great unknown. Your great unknown. And what if you found out all the answers to your question, will your foolish heart finally stop remembering?

Then you remembered what happened the other day. You thought it was funny when he asked you those things because you could also ask those questions to him. You really don’t get him either. Why act innocent? As if he didn’t read all the things you said in the letter. All you wanted were answers but he chose not to give it to you. How selfish, you thought.

“Hey, y/n? Are you alright?” Cassidy asked.

“Oh.. ugh.. huh..” All these thoughts made you speechless. “Uhm, I’ll just.. get some fresh air.” You grabbed your bag and went to the rooftop of the building. 

You sat on a bench and searched for your phone when you felt the notebook Cassidy gave you. The things Cassidy said to you echoed in your mind. “I guess.. I could do that too…” You grabbed your pen and started writing.

Calum… Calum… Your name still lingers in my mind. Why is it that a name so common could be unforgettable? Why is it that when I see guitars, it reminds me of you? You know, I became a hater of my favorite band because, you, too, loved them. Because whenever I hear their songs, all I could see is you and I listening to their album, stars above our heads. I really don’t get myself. Because, somewhere along the line, I fell for someone like you. A despicable person. 

Dark Times

this ain’t the right time for you to fall inlove with me, baby, I’m just being honest

A/N: When I first heard this song by The Weeknd ft. Ed Sheeran this picture popped up in my head and I imagined badboy!Calum oh god. 

You saw him there standing in your backyard, smoking. Usually, guys who smoke is a big turn off for you but not with the resident bad boy, Calum Hood. You just don’t know why you’re s drawn into him. Even more, I might add, as he saved you a few minutes ago from some hoodlums. 

“Hey.” You say as you approached him. “Hey.” He threw the cigarette butt. “What’s up?”

“I.. I just want to thank you?” You hid your nervousness. It’s no secret that he can be intimidating. “No problem, you’re my friend’s sister. No guy should ever treat you so bad. Actually no guy should treat any girl so bad. Don’t go wandering at that street again. You got it?”

Your heart was fluttering. “Y-yeah. I got it.”

“So.. what time will Alex be here?” “Uhm, I’m not sure.. why?” Unholy thoughts flashed in your mind. He started walking inside the house, sitting on the couch, making himself feel at home. You still can’t believe he’s your brother’s friend. Because the two of them doesn’t seem to have a lot of things in common but here they were, being friends and all.

You sat beside him. “How did you and my brother meet again?” He laughed. “Long story. You’ll get bored.” “Try me.” You laughed, looking deeply into his eyes, him staring back. You didn’t know how it happened but he was on top of you now, kissing you so hard, moaning once in a while. He detached himself from you and admired your features, caressing your cheek. You grabbed the hem of his shirt but before you could take it off, he stopped you. He sat upright, and run his hands through his hair. “I shouldn’t, we shouldn’t…” He looked at you.

“I won’t tell my brother..” You tried being seductive. “No one will know.” “You won’t because I’m not doing it with you.”

Your heart shattered into pieces. “I get it. I’m not pretty enough for you.” “No. You’re the most beautiful girl I’ve seen but.. I’m not the right guy for you. I shouldn’t be the first. I’m not worth it for you.”

“I’m up for a one time thing.” “No.” He replied sternly. “I don’t get it. Shouldn’t you be up for that? I mean, I’m guessing you’re into that thing.” “I’m always up for that.. but with you.. I know it’s wrong. I don’t want to hurt you.” “I still don’t get it.” “You’re too innocent for me. I don’t want your innocence ruined by me. And I don’t want you to fall in love with me.” His warning was too late. “Too late.” You muttered. “I’m sorry?” But before you could tell him, the front door opened and your brother came in. “Hey, Cal. Hey, y/n.” He looked at you then at Calum. “Is there something I should know?” “I just saved your sister from some hoodlum. You should thank me by introducing me to some hot chick at your work. The blonde one caught my attention, you think you could hook us up?” Calum said. You sighed. “Well.. I’m going to my room now. Thanks again, Cal, for saving me. You go get that blondie.”

They ignored your comment and started talking. “Her name is Hayley, yeah, she’s hot.” Your brother said. “You think she could last for an hour?” Cal asked. But little did you know, Calum quickly glanced at you as you were heading your way upstairs. ‘I just saved you from a hoodlum like me.’ He told himself.

“Me and you, what can we do? When the words we use sometimes are misconstrued. Well, I won’t guess what’s coming next. I can’t ever tell. You’re the deepest well I’ve ever fallen into.” - You and I by Jimmy Eat World Once upon a time, you fell inlove with a boy. It changed you, distorted your life, turned you upside down. Just when you thought you’ve moved on, he came back into your life. Rebuilding the burnt bridge you did. But, as you may have noticed, everything has a side effect. An unwanted result leading to something you did. When you take medicines. When you eat too much sweets. When you stay up way too late. When you give someone you love a love letter and he ignores your confession, acting like he didn’t read it. 

Chapter Two

“Isn’t it amazing?!” Cassidy said, You were interrupted with what you were doing on your computer. 

“What’s amazing? They’re raising our wages?” You jokingly asked.

“I wish they were, but no.”

“Then what’s amazing?”

“Our team building in a small island in the Philippines! I think it’s called Calaguas. It’s just a week but thank god we’re having this break from work!” She looked at you in disbelief. “Oh, god, don’t tell me you forgot?”

“I didn’t. Why would I?” But you did forget. Why wouldn’t you forget when Calum’s been affecting your memories.. your focus.. once again.

“Yeah… right… you know.. you’ve been out of focus lately…” She faced you.

“What? No, I’m not.” Liar, your conscience was against you.

“I mean.. even more.. since yesterday..actually.” She looked at her phone. “Well, I need to go, Ed needs my help on something. Byeee.” She waltzed her way out the room, as if she’s the luckiest girl ever born in this world. You really admire her for being optimistic despite the negativities happening in her world. Her fiance cheated on her with Amanda, her bestfriend. Their relationship became public a week ago. Whispers surround her wherever she goes. The world pitied her for she was someone who got dumped by her fiance because he cheated on her with her bestfriend, someone whom she knows for almost half of her life. If given a chance, Cassidy told you, she’d go back in time and tell her thirteen-year-old-self to don’t befriend that bitch.

If you think about it, everyone is their own protagonist in their made up world. And Cassidy is one hell of a badass  protagonist. But you wondered how hurt she really is. How sleepless she is at night in order to block those unwanted memories of Cassidy and her fiance. You guessed that that’s the side effect of loving someone. But why do people still decide to love when they know what might happen? Why would people risk everything for someone who might, in the end, risk everything for someone else? 

A knock interrupted your chain of thoughts. “Come in.”

“Hey.” Calum greeted you. “Jay wants these files.” He handed you a list.

“Thanks.” You said. “I’ll give it to Al.” You pretended to type something on your computer. “Is there something else you wanted to talk about?” You regretted what you said as soon as it left your mouth.

“Are you sure you want to ask that?” He rebutted. 

“Excuse me?” You played dumb.

“Oh, nothing. Jay wants those files a week from now.. before the team building.” 

You two were acting like strangers. As if you two didn’t laugh on how Mrs. Winterstein weirdly said ‘adjacent’ in your Geometry class. As if you didn’t ask him what he wanted to take in college. As if he didn’t compliment the way you sing during choir practice. As if you two weren’t high school classmates. As if you weren’t friends. As if you two didn’t have a past. Another side effect, you thought.

“Sure.”

“Well.. see you when uh.. see you when you want to be seen by me… I guess.. if that ever happen..” 

It was something about the way he said those words that made you explode. “Listen, Calum.. what is wrong with you?!”

“What is wrong with you?” He sighed heavily. “You act as if we’re not friends.. you act like we don’t know each other! I don’t..I just don’t get you. We’re not in high school anymore. Just tell me what’s been bothering you. It’s been a year and a half since you started working here but all you do is ignore me.. avoid me.. try not to see me. I honestly don’t know what went wrong. You  sto-”

“Hey, y/n, I’m baaa-” Cassidy felt the tension between you and Calum. “I’m back. Hi, Calum.” She sat on her chair, trying her hardest to pretend she didn’t know what was going on - or atleast had an idea what was going on.

“Hi.” Calum said. “I need to go back to my department now. Just give Jay the files and you’re all set.” He stormed out.

“Me and you, what can we do? When the words we use sometimes are misconstrued. Well, I won’t guess what’s coming next. I can’t ever tell. You’re the deepest well I’ve ever fallen into.” - You and I by Jimmy Eat World Once upon a time, you fell inlove with a boy. It changed you, distorted your life, turned you upside down. Just when you thought you’ve moved on, he came back into your life. Rebuilding the burnt bridge you did. But, as you may have noticed, everything has a side effect. An unwanted result leading to something you did. When you take medicines. When you eat too much sweets. When you stay up way too late. When you give someone you love a love letter and he ignores your confession, acting like he didn’t read it. 

Chapter One

It has been a year and a half since you knew you’d work in the marketing department of the same music company Calum Hood is in. No big deal, you thought, it’s not as if the company is as small as your hometown where everyone knows everyone.

But you were wrong. In your first few weeks, you’d bump into him at the break room - who knew getting coffee would be as stressful as presenting your thesis in front of the class? Your eighth month at work was the same as the first, because you were running all over the place, you’d catch him walking the opposite way. But you always avoided eye contact. You always tried to avoid him, in general.. in meetings.. in celebrations.. in everything as long as you can avoid him. It may be unprofessional but it’s the only way for you to hide your shame. It was the only solution to not remember… to forget what happened.

For, you see, once upon a time, you and Calum were close. You didn’t know how it all happened but you did know it started in your Geometry class. You and Calum became seatmates (because your teacher arranged your seats in alphabetical order), at first it was awkward. But eventually, you became comfortable talking to him. You were out of focus on what was important and paid no attention in your Geometry class. The people around you - even your Geometry teacher - noticed the change. She even confronted you, showed your grades, and said that you should focus in class more instead of talking with Calum. But your seventeen-year-old-self didn’t mind it. You were infatuated. Mesmerized by his smile.. his voice.. his ideas.. his existence. 

But all came to an end when you confessed your feelings. You worked so hard neatly writing every word in that letter. You thought how to say things, hoping it wouldn’t be cheesy, hoping it won’t sound so desperate. You hoped he’d say anything… comment on the letter… react… but nothing. He continued treating you the same, as if he hadn’t read the letter. You didn’t dare ask him anything because for one, it might mean he doesn’t see you like you see him. He doesn’t love you like you love him. Simply put, he was not that into you. Which hurt as fuck. So, you swore after graduating that you’d burn your bridges to him. You swore to disappear in his life. You swore to focus again.

But what good did that make when you’re in the same company? All that effort in moving on vanished when you saw him the first day in your job. Which made you question yourself - did I really moved on when I’m feeling all of these things again? Did I really moved on when my heart is beating as fast as when I was with him back then? Did I even stopped loving him? All this time.. will it forever and always be him?

“Miss Y/N, I need you to bring these files to the research team.” Your supervisor said.  You grabbed the files and found your way to the reasearch team. You knocked three times but there was no one there. Just as you were about to knock for the fourth time, Calum opened the door. “Hi.” You said, not looking at him.

“Oh, hi, y/n… are those the files that my team needs?” “Y-yes.” You replied, still avoiding his gaze.   “Thanks! Oh, can you place that on Jay’s desk? If you don’t mind.” 

“Sure, no problem.” You went inside the room, searched for Jay’s table and placed it on top. You were about to grab the knob on the door when Calum called you.

“Y/n…”

You didn’t face him. “Yes?”

“Why are you being so cold to me? It’s not like we weren’t fr-”

“I need to go back to our department now. Sorry.” You opened the door and walked out. 

A couple of minutes with him was suffocating. You were drowning in a sea of memories. Memories you thought you’d forgotten. And all the things you went through came crashing down again. Pain. Hurt. Sadness. Regret. Six more months, you reminded yourself. Six more months until you can file that goddamn resignation letter. You blamed the contract. You blamed yourself for not knowing that he was here. You blamed him for trying to rebuild the burnt bridge a few minutes ago. 

You thought about what happened minutes ago. 

He was infront of you, smiling, asking how you’ve been, giving off that warm vibe, same as he was before. 

Before the fame, before the band, before the fans, before the choosing between his career or you… before the breakup.

“Hi.. how you’ve been?” He smiled that mesmerizing smile.

“Oh.. you know.. same as always.” You replied. You half expected meeting him here. It is, afterall, your batch reunion. 

“It’s been so long since…”

“I know! How’s your kids?”

“They’re doing good! Melissa’s learning how to write now.” He chuckled. 

“That’s great! My kid, Reese, she loves reading!”

“Ah, like mother like daughter!”

It was funny, you thought, having such a conversation with someone who you once planned a future with. Seeing the person who wrote countless songs for you, dedicating each award he received to you, and giving you a preview to the songs he wrote at three in the morning because he misses you. And how things turned out to be after everything you and Calum went through.

Thinking of your past with Calum brought a sudden joy, some type of happiness, memories - both good and bad- flashed which made you laugh.. but that was a chapter in your life you ended a long time ago.  Facing him at the reunion was like meeting an old friend.

Now, it made you appreciate everything. The love. The songs. The memories. The laughters. The sadness. The pain. The regrets. The heartbreak. The moving on. And the happiness. 

“And I would stop trying to fall in love again and keep it a secret. It never works out anyway (x).”

“Don’t cause any scenes, Hood.” You warned Calum after saying he wanted to pick you up at the airport three days from now. It was your paid vacation from work and you wanted to go home, have a breather. 

“Can’t guarantee that, babe.” You knew he was smirking on the other line. 

“This is my consolation price for being your best friend, huh?” You sighed. “Wear a beanie or a hood. Wear a disguise or something.”

“Nah, that’s not very effective. I might give them so much feels.” He said, making a quotation mark after he said ‘feels’ in the air with his right hand. “And they really recognize me easily. I don’t know how they do that, to be honest.”

“Maybe they got some training from Waldo?” You joked which made both of you laughed.

You and Calum were always on the same page, he can be himself in front of you and vice versa. It was a miracle that you two hadn’t lost any contact with each other since they say that high school friends will disappear once you enter college and find a job. But here you and Calum are, defeating all the odds. Especially now that your best friend is busy living out his dreams.

You heard someone call Calum in the background. “Ugh, Y/n, gotta go now! Can’t wait to see you on Monday! It’s so good that we gotta be in the same place again. After how many years!”

It was 5SOS’ last day of their Australian leg of the tour and before starting their American leg, they were given a week off.

You seated near a cylindrical aquarium where angel fishes, clown fishes, puffer fishes, yellow tangs and blue tangs swam. It was like meeting the cast of Finding Nemo, in real life. 

You looked at the time. 5:09 AM. You texted Calum where you were.

Thirty minutes had passed when you saw a group of girls walking to where you are. Some of them were screaming moderately. You knew why.

“Y/n!” Calum said, catching his breath.

“Cal!” The group of girls weren’t leaving and instead they remained calm and yet ecstatic, standing a few inches away from Calum, holding their phones and taking as much of photos as they possibly can. You never thought of how big they became since the day you watched them perform at this restaurant/bar. There were only a few people who came that day.

“Look who’s famous now.” You playfully punched his arm. “Wow. You have tattoos now too?” You noticed the tattoo on his arm. 

He gave you a shy smile. To you, he was still that lanky guy from your Math class who became your best friend. “I just grew and got some tattoos and all… nothing special. But look at you now!!” 

You felt weird looking at their fans, standing there. “Uhm.. can we.. can we go now?” You whispered.

He grabbed your luggage. “Yeah, I’ll drive you home.” He faced the group of girls. “Umh, I appreciate you all for coming here. I’m sorry I can’t take a picture, I, uh, picked up my best friend and she needs rest. I’m sorry again, guys!” 

Some of the girls whined but most of them understood and wished you well. 

Calum was playing soccer with the boys in their backyard. You couldn’t help but stare at your shirtless best friend, all sweaty. He really changed a lot, you thought. He became more handsome… his smile, though, remained the same. That sweet smile of his. That adorable cheeks. The way he talks. Everything about him stayed the same.

“He had grown a lot, huh?” Mali, his sister, sat beside you, placing her cup of iced lemonade on the table. “How’ve you been?” She smiled.

“It’s been good.” You wearily smiled.

“The wedding’s off, huh?” She knew.

“Paul is such a jerk.”

“Does he know?” She asked, glancing at Calum.

“I never told him anything about Paul. All he knows is that I went home for my paid vacation.. which is partly true.. because it really is my paid vacation.. but he doesn’t know it’s because of Paul.”

Malikoa gave you a weak smile. “I’m really sorry.”

“I…” You sighed. “Also gave them my resignation letter. I’m planning to work here. I’m sure there’s a lot of opportunities here.”

“Do whatever’s good for you.”

“Y/n?” Calum stood infront of you. “What’s this wedding invitation? Who’s Paul Smith?” He asked, he went and fetched the mail while the rest of the guys were still playing soccer, Michael shouting something about him staying in his man cave, Luke and Ashton laughing.

You and Mali looked at each other.

“Well, uh, I better help mom prepare for dinner later.” Mali said, leaving you and Calum alone.

He sat to where Mali was seated. “Are you getting married?”

“Uh.. no.” You tried holding back your tears. “Not anymore.”

“Y/n…why didn’t you tell me?” He gave you a worried look. “Babe…”

“I.. I don’t know.. maybe because you were busy and all that and I don’t want you to worry about me. I don’t want you to be distracted with your work. I.. I don’t know.. it’s..” A tear fell from your right cheek, you wiped it. “It’s.. I just don’t want to worry you.. and besides, I’m alright now.” You gave him a smile but your eyes were telling something otherwise.

“I’m your best friend! I will always be here for you!” 

I’m your best friend…. those words echoed in your mind.

Best friend.

That’s all you’ll ever be to him.

You cried even harder.