gretchen

they’re all gonna laugh at me. the more it hurts the less it shows. are you angry? do you hate me. time may forgive me but i won’t. she was my girl first. everything i’ve ever loved, i’ve loved it straight to death. i never meant to hurt you. but somehow i knew i would. will it be like this forever? am i making you feel sick? i’ll be here like concrete.

why is it so hard for you to love me? i can see the end in the beginning of everything. to love me is to suffer me. i’m tired of you still tied to me. will i always be crying during sex with you? don’t sink in me with your dog teeth. twirling around my room again. i was an angel, though plummeting. gardenias on the tile where it makes no difference who held back from who.