ayo

No ship hate! <3

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Dave frantically asking Rose if it would actually, like actually actually be weird for Dave to leave some nudes for Dirk to see whenever he stumbled upon the more adult stuff in the apartment. Would autographed nudes for Dirk mean that Dave is too full of himself or would Dirk actually appreciate that? Will Dirk even care about Dave? Maybe Dave should just hide the autographed ones a little more thoroughly so that Dirk only finds them if he really upturns the whole apartment looking for mementos of Dave.

Dave writing about a hundred versions of a letter to try to say that he loves Dirk, but being entirely unable to figure out how to word what he feels without coming off as skeevy or overly sentimental or weird. Dave breaking down and asking Rose to take a look at what he's written to see if she can figure out some way to word it that doesn't paint Dave as a creep or a sap.

Dave trying to turn it into something more subtle at Rose's suggestion, where it'll only make any sense at all if Dirk is really reading behind the lines and digging into every word of the letter. But that would mean Dirk would find a completely pointless letter around the same time he finds the other adult items, and, according to Rose, Dirk is going to be crazy smart so chances are he'll know something is up with it and analyze it even if he's started to get grossed out by Dave and his antics by that point. And Dave can't set it up to be found earlier because then he'd be giving what's essentially a love confession to a child and that hits him the wrong way, but he also can't wait too long and make it seem like a weird letter from an absent father more than an expression of affection. No version of the letter still exists by the time Dirk gets to the apartment, which is a shame because he would pore over them like religious texts if he knew they ever existed.